Gaining Closure
by depressedchildren
Summary: The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their world. Age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a threat in Magical London. 12 years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in London, England. It's time to gain closure.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

_**Full Summary:**_ The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analysis a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

_**A/N:**_ Slightly inspired by some of the other cross-overs on her, but I think I took it to a new place. Please enjoy ~ with much love, Depressedchildren

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Prologue

* * *

Naruto landed on the windowsill with ease and called into the dim apartment, "Sensei?" Silence met his question. With his brow furrowed, the blonde entered the apartment cautiously. "Sensei?" he called again once in the middle of the living area.

"Hmm?" he could barely hear the hum but he knew it was his sensei. He began walking toward what appeared to be the bedroom door, which opened while he was still walking toward it. "Oh Naruto," the words were oddly distracted, and a lazy cobalt eye barely looked at him.

"Uh…Sensei?" Naruto gave a nervous chuckle while he fixed the silver haired man with a concerned look, "You okay?" he took a few cautious steps toward the older man.

"Hmmm?" he seemed to realize that Naruto was still there, and his visible eye blinked a few times, "Oh I'm fine," but the distracted quality to his voice made the blonde purse his lips and squint his eyes at the man, as if these gestures would give him the answers he wanted about his former sensei.

"What's up with you?" Naruto's expression relaxed but concern was etched on his features. "You've never been…" the blonde scrunched up his nose while he tried to find the right word, "Sensei you seem really preoccupied," Naruto mentally cheered at his wording.

"What would I have to be preoccupied with?" Kakashi asked as he casually closed his bedroom door behind him and moved into the living room. To Naruto he moved _too_ casually, but the blonde schooled his features to make sure his suspicion would not be perceived by the silver haired man.

Kakashi was now leaning against the wall in front of Naruto, his arms were crossed over his chest and one hand was already reaching for his Icha Icha book.

"I don't know," Naruto shrugged in reply and leaned against the wall as well. His teacher seemed to be acting like himself again, which was good, he supposed.

Naruto knew it was hard on Kakashi when they found out Madara was really the presumed dead Obito, but he always imagined it was a lot worse than he thought. Naruto could imagine his teacher was blaming himself for the war, because if he had valued teamwork then Obito wouldn't have been crushed and then he wouldn't have become Madara… or some ridiculous nonsense like that. He hoped Kakashi wasn't falling into depression, what with the war finally over, things should be better. The ghosts from his teacher's past had been put to rest, he seemed to have reconciled with everything that happened, but… Naruto wasn't sure.

"Anyways, Sakura and I are going to go visit Sasuke, d'you wanna join us?" Naruto asked what he had come to see his teacher for.

"Mah, I think I'll head to the memorial stone, then catch up with you two," Kakashi stated before he body flickered away.

Naruto tried to sense for his teacher in the nearby buildings but felt nothing. With narrowed eyes, Naruto tiptoed toward the bedroom door and hesitantly opened it. No wires or traps met him, so he stepped warily into the room. Nothing… Frowning, Naruto was concerned that he hadn't been put into some horrific trap. His eyes scanned the room quickly for something, something that would explain why his teacher had been acting so strangely.

There was a neat pile of clothes in one corner, a few weapons lay about the bed and a whet stone was in their midst. He could still see the impression Kakashi had made on his bed, so the jounin had been sitting there before Naruto came. It almost looked like he was just sitting on his bed sharpening his weapons, but why would he do that in his bedroom.

Carefully, Naruto made his way to the bed and sat down where his teacher had been sitting. He expected a trap to spring once he came a foot away from the bed, but nothing happened. Once he was seated he looked around the room for some answer to the question nagging him.

Slowly his gaze moved from the dresser, which had a photo of Team Minato and Team 7, to the bedside table. Naruto's brow furrowed at the lone picture. He had never seen anyone in Konoha like that, nor did anyone in the Fourth Ninja War look the woman in that picture, but then that was a little presumptuous of him. Just because she hadn't been at any of the battle sites didn't mean she didn't exist.

The woman had red wavy locks, but it wasn't the same color as Garra's or his mother's hair. Her eyes were green and were framed by her dark eyelashes. Her nose was cute and pointed and her features were soft. She was smiling at the camera, while she held a wiry haired puppy close to her face so that they were both facing the camera. However, Naruto did not know what kind of dog the puppy was, he had never seen a puppy like that before (dogs weren't that common in his experience and were seldom ever pets – for what else could that scrawny adorable thing be_ but_ a pet?). She was really pretty and she looked really happy. But her features were not that of the Elemental Lands, or at least that's what his mind was trying to tell him.

A cough startled the blonde from his thoughts. His heart skipped a beat when he looked toward the door. He was dead, he was so dead!

"Ah-hahaha! Kakashi-sensei!" Shit! Naruto was already sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. He was itching to leave, and perhaps hide under a rock for a while.

"I can't decide what I'm more disappointed about," Naruto audibly gulped. "That you would breach my privacy or that you got caught," Naruto flinched at both remarks but the latter somehow stung worse, perhaps because it was a slight at his skills as a ninja.

"Care to explain Naruto-kun?" Naruto grimaced again while his former teacher leaned against the door jamb with his arms folded over his chest.

"Umm…" Naruto gave a nervous laugh but his panic was clear by the rapid rising and falling of his chest. "I-I" he swallowed thickly. The visible cobalt eye was hard as it stared at him. Naruto shot off the bed, "Sensei I'm sorry, but I was worried about you!" Naruto had his hands in his former teacher's flak jacket. "Okay?!" he let go of the jacket and turned away from the man in exasperation, "I'm entitled to worry, ya know! I mean with all the stuff with Obito and…" he had begun pacing but stopped as his words failed him. He looked at his teacher almost desperately.

Kakashi's eye closed and he exhaled, but it sounded almost like a laugh. Naruto tensed but relax when Kakashi looked back at him with amusement in his eye.

"I see…I suppose I would act the same, though I would make sure I wouldn't be caught," Naruto heard the message and understood the pointed look Kakashi gave him. Naruto laughed sheepishly in response.

Kakashi sighed but moved to sit on his bed. "I will admit I was preoccupied, but not with what you'd think," Kakashi offered the young man a seat and Naruto sat down next his teacher. "For the last twelve years I have been on near constant missions to try and _stop_ a future world war, and now that that war has come and gone, I can't help but think about the past."

Silence settled between them and Naruto couldn't help but squirm a little. After a minute or so, Naruto spoke up, "That woman?" Naruto gestured toward the picture frame, "was she in your past?"

The way his teacher's eyes softened he imagined the man was smiling under his mask, "Yes, I was about your age when I met her," he was looking at the picture the whole time he spoke.

Naruto licked his lips and thought over his next words, "What happened?" he asked cautiously, he hoped he didn't take his teacher down any dark trains of thought.

"Like I said," he pulled his gaze away from the picture and gave Naruto an eye-smile, "I had missions to do to prevent a war." Naruto pulled back slightly and his face was scrunched up in confusion. She didn't die? Kakashi had just left?!

"Then why don't you go back to her?!" he was up on his feet with his arms failing around him.

"Naruto," Kakashi shook his head and dropped off the honorific while he stood up slowly. There was a slight laugh in his voice when he said the energetic man's name. "It's not that easy," he clamped his hands down on the blonde's shoulder to calm him down.

"Why not?" Naruto asked, he had a fire in his eyes that screamed he would not back down.

"Because she's probably married," when Naruto opened his mouth to argue, Kakashi hurried on, "and she thinks I'm dead," Naruto's mouth fell shut and he sat down numbly. His brow was furrowed while he tried to work out what his teacher had just said.

"Why?" Naruto asked softly and Kakashi sighed.

"It was an S-class mission for security purposes, but I was called home before it finished for the reason I've already stated. She was told I died so no questions would be asked about why I disappeared one day to never come back."

Naruto was staring down at the floor and he continued to stare at it while he thought through what he had learned. In his opinion, Kakashi deserved happiness, and Naruto could tell his former teacher really cared about that woman, even after so many years. She was alive, whereas so many of the people important to Kakashi were already dead, but that didn't even matter because she thought that _he_ was dead. It was cruel.

"Naruto," the blonde shot his head up when he felt Kakashi's hands rest on his shoulders again, the weight was grounding and calmed Naruto down a little more. "Let it be. I moved on long ago."

Naruto's eyes narrowed as he looked straight into his former teacher's visible eye, "No you didn't; you drowned yourself in work. Kakashi-sensei, I'll talk to Tsunade-Baa-chan –"

"Naruto –"

"No! Listen to me, you can see her but she won't see you, ya know. Then you'll know she's happy or whatever and you can finally have some closure. Sensei, I can tell you care about that lady still," Naruto watched as his former teacher sighed and shook his head.

"At least you're perceptive," Kakashi stated wryly, "even if you can't snoop around without getting caught,"

"Hey!" Naruto huffed indignantly before his expression sobered and he stared intently at the silver haired man. "Kakashi-sensei, please?" the jounin sighed again.

"I'll go with you, but I doubt Hokage-sama will agree," Naruto may have imagined the hope in his teacher's voice, hope that maybe he would be allowed. Well, as Tsunade's undeclared successor, he'd do his very best to make sure his former Jounin instructor got the chance to have some closure.

* * *

Naruto could not stop pacing. What was taking so long in there? What were they talking about? He knew he had Tsunade, but now he wasn't so sure, what if she changed her mind?

He heard the click of the office door opening. Kakashi had his hands shoved into his pockets as usual and his eyes were locked onto the floor. Naruto waited with baited breath for any indication of what went on after he was dismissed from the meeting. Kakashi ended up in front of his blonde former student.

Naruto caught Kakashi's eye and waited for him to speak, unfortunately his eye was unreadable.

"You'll be taking on a genin team in my place. Make sure they can snoop better than you – if they pass that is," Kakashi nodded his head and proceeded to body flicker away. Naruto blinked a few times before a smile took over his face.

With a triumphant laugh he burst into the Hokage's office, "Tsunade-baa-chan, you let him go!?" He quickly began crushing the woman in his embrace. She laughed lightly at Naruto's exuberance.

"Of course, he's one of our best and if he's going to be distracted by loose-ends –" Naruto pulled away from the hug to give the woman a hard stare which interrupted her. She rolled her eyes, "Alright, it also would help him psychologically" Naruto chuckled and continued to hug the woman.

"Thanks Baa-chan" he mumbled against her shoulder, his voice was soft and filled with endearment. However he pulled away and screwed up his face in confusion, "But what's this about me having a genin team?"

"Sit down Naruto," Tsunade stated in her business tone, and Naruto paled. He wasn't going to like this.

* * *

Kakashi rolled his shoulders as he neared the boundaries of their hidden world. The little boat he was manning would go through the barrier that kept out the rest of the world from their elemental lands. He would then only be an hour out from a country named "Japan" near a region called "Okinawa". Kakashi would then be transported by several mechanical objects called "airplanes" until he arrived in "London, England."

With a sigh he tried to think about where he would start his search for Lily Evans, though perhaps she was Lily Potter now? Did she go back to that man? Kakashi's frown grew when he began moving through the barrier. It felt like something heavy had slid over his body. It was an entirely unpleasant feeling.

He could still remember the first time he passed through the barrier. He had been sent on a mission to analyze a threat in Magical London. The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. They usually learned of these threats by intercepting mail and newspapers flying around their world, as well as the occasional spy posted around the larger world.

Kakashi sighed and began changing his clothes to match people of the larger world. He placed a slight illusion over his left eye, scar, and hair. He supposed his clothes would be outdated, but perhaps the suits would still be in style? He would know once he docked; well hid the boat until he was to return. It would be a short stay unlike before.

The bay he pulled into was different from what he last remembered, but twelve years did that. He hefted his pack onto his back and went on his way. He had his passport still and had it updated before he left. It said he was a Japanese citizen. Soon he would hand over some lump of money, in a currency he did not understand, to be loaded onto a flying death trap. He just needed to remember it was worth it. It was worth it to see her again and know she was happy; that if she did end up marrying Potter, he was treating her right. If she married someone else…he'd make sure she was happy with that man too and let her leave his life for good. He would not dwell on her, he would move on. Maybe he would find someone in Konoha for him, maybe he could have a family of his own with children he raised to be what they wanted to be. It was all worth it, just to see Lily Evans one last time.

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A suivre

* * *

_**A/N:**_ So… I have upwards of sixty pages that flow all together, with no planned chapter breaks. Should I upload it all or do chapters? I think I can find some places that will work for chapter breaks. If I don't do chapter breaks it will take longer to get out, because I'm still not completely done with it... Almost, but not completely


	2. Chapter 1: Reminisces and Travel Part 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyize a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** Over use of term "death-trap," swearing, non-graphic torture, jealous James, perverted Kakashi, and airports

**A/N:** Okay, so updating way sooner than I planned, mostly because I was afraid people were going to assume the wrong progression of the story... A lot of this takes place in the past as you will see. I did say he now has time to THINK about the past. Um... Enjoy! And thank you for the reviews, alerts, and favorites. ~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

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Chapitre 1: Avoir un ami encore

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Kakashi had to wait nearly an hour to buy his plane ticket, then he had to wait another hour to go through airport security – and considering that he had a few kunai hidden on his person, was a bear. When he saw the metal detector he ended up making a clone which he made carry all his weapons and henge into an insect to sneak past the security center.

He then had to sprint to his gate because the flight schedule said his plane was boarding, however when he got to the gate people were still sitting outside waiting to board. A tick began to form under his eye. He took a deep breath and sat down heavily at one of the waiting chairs. His shoulders slumped a little more and he decided to think about the first time he met Lily. He chuckled to himself and got comfortable in his seat.

"_You alright miss?" Kakashi looked down at the young woman who looked to be about his age. She looked at him and blinked a few times before her bright green eyes shifted to the man he held against the wall. Kakashi slammed the man's head against the alley wall when he began to resist him. _

"_I can handle myself," she stated as she stood up and brushed off her pants. She was glaring at Kakashi, clearly offended that he had saved her from being assaulted. Her attacker was unconscious now. _

"_Mah, I was just being a Good Samaritan, no reason to chop my head off," he gave the woman his usual eye smile. He let the man crumple to the alley floor as he shoved his hands into his pockets. _

"_Well, I'm not helpless," she countered, indignation still rang in her voice. _

"_Yes but he caught you off guard. It is an effective equalizer; even the strongest might fall to a surprise attack," he leaned against the wall of the alley as he regarded the young woman. She was proud, he could tell it by the way she held her self, and her eyes shone with intelligence as well as stubbornness. _

_Her hard stare continued for a moment but then she quirked an eyebrow. She hummed then looked down at the unconscious man at their feet. Kakashi suspected the two beings before him were from the magical community but he couldn't be certain. _

"_Neh? Where's the nearest police station?" Kakashi asked as he pushed himself off the wall. _

"_Don't bother, I'll call my boyfriend," Kakashi subdued his smirk at the woman's blatant implication, "He's on the police force"_

_Kakashi hummed in response and settled back against the wall. The woman stiffened slightly but made no move to call her "boyfriend." In fact, the woman looked a little miffed with him. He motioned her to get on with it, and once she turned around in a huff he had to stifle his amusement. _

_Part of him wanted to spy on her to see how she contacted her supposed boyfriend but he refrained and watched the would-be attacker. He was beginning to stir so he slammed his heel against the attacker's temple. In his peripheral Kakashi could have sworn he saw a silvery blur shoot across the sky. Perhaps a minute or two later the young woman came back into the alley way. _

"_Ah, you called him then?" the woman nodded in response, so Kakashi pushed himself off the wall "Will I need to file a report with him when he arrives?" _

"_No, it'll be fine, thank you," her tone was clipped. _

_Kakashi nodded and turned on his heel. He took perhaps three steps before the woman called out to him. _

"_Wait! You're just leaving?" she sounded incredulous._

_Kakashi turned back around and gave a nod. "Yes. You're boyfriend the police officer is coming, and he'll be out for another hour" Kakashi gestured to the unconscious man, "though you may want to get him some medical attention," Kakashi paused for a moment wherein the woman gaped at him, "Besides, I only stayed this long, because you would have had to leave to make that call and he could have escaped in that time. So… Bye!" Kakashi gave his eye smile, which felt strange since he was not wearing a mask. _

_He turned on his heel again and continued on his way. _

Kakashi sighed heavily and stood up as passengers were finally being boarded, of course after this they would have to wait for take-off which could take up to an hour. He hated these stupid things. He probably could have gotten to the next airport on foot in the time it takes to get through all of the waiting involved in flying; however he would get lost trying to find the airport his international flight left from.

Kakashi sighed again in his aisle seat of the dingy narrow plane that looked like it would fall apart easily. He licked his lips before he exhaled. His eyes were closed and he focused on anything but the fact that he was in this small confined metal space that would soon be traveling miles above the earth's surface. He would have no escape route should something go terribly wrong. He inhaled slowly and exhaled again. He had fastened the seat-belt and was now clenching to the arm rests.

How could anyone feel at ease in these things? At least with a car he could escape, but the only escape in this contraption was a great big fall that he could never catch himself from. He couldn't think about flying, about what a hopeless situation it would be. It was always better to focus on something else, anything else. Perhaps Lily…yes, thinking of her would probably ease his mind.

_Kakashi was seated on an outside patio of a pathetic pub on a dingy little street. He was across from a beaten-up red "telephone booth." It was supposedly an entrance to the Ministry of Magic, at least that was what he believed the magical beings called their government. He was pretending to read some book, _Crime and Punishment_ he believed was the titled. It was quite interesting, he supposed. He supposed criminal behavior did match Raskolnikov's actions after he murdered that old woman. _

_It was a grey day like many others, but it was warm and the sun had occasionally peeked its head out from behind the ever-present clouds. He hated how dreary this place was, he missed the forests too. He felt exposed in this industrialized place. _

"_Oh! It's you!" Kakashi jerked his head around, for he was unmistakably being called out. It took him a moment to place the fiery red hair and equally fiery green eyes. He raised his eyebrows in recognition before he relaxed his features and nodded his head. _

"_Hello again," Kakashi greeted, internally he was panicking slightly. Was she a magical being then? Damn, did she suspect him for being so close to her precious government building?_

"_We never introduced ourselves last time," she stated as she sat down in the metal chair across from him. "My name's Lily Evans," she held out her hand to shake his. _

"_Takashi Hatake," her eyes widened slightly at his name but they shook hands as per decorum. _

"_So you're from..?" she asked seeking information._

"_Japan," he replied but he could see she was going to try prying more information out of him. In his experience, it was better to state their curiosity before those he was trying to deceive asked a question he couldn't answer and he was compromised. "Okinawa region," Kakashi elaborated, "It's a small island I'm from but I got into business,"_

"_A business man that can knock a man twice his size out with ease, and looks like he just got out of secondary schooling?" Her green eyes were narrowed, and for a moment Kakashi wondered if perhaps she thought he was a wizard…or something… he hoped the former._

"_Caught me," he teased with sheepish smile on his lips, "I'm ex-military but I'm going into business on an international scholarship." Her eyebrows were raised and she looked slightly startled, "I'm not too fond telling people about my stint in the military," he paused and looked away for a moment, "bad memories and all - people tend to want to know what tours you did." He thought of the war, losing Obito and then …Rin. Unconsciously he clenched his eyes and the fist he put through her chest. Gods it hurt to think of them…of what he did…_

_Kakashi jumped from his reverie when he felt Lily's hand on the hand he did not kill Rin with. He quickly removed his hand from her's, he pinched the bride of his nose and gave her a bitter smile. He also unclenched his other hand._

"_Anyways?" Kakashi set his hands on top of the table again and gave her his eye smile. "What brings you around here?"_

"_I was taking a shortcut to my apartment," he could tell she was lying, though identifying what exactly was the lie would be a challenge. "And you?"_

"_I live around this area too, and this place has the cheapest prices and not a lot of people," he jerked his head toward the sorry establishment. Lily laughed lightly and nodded her head. "Besides, I don't know many other places," Lily perked up at his admission. _

"_Well…! Let's meet her tomorrow, when are you done with classes?" her smile was slightly terrifying in a Kushina way, it was as if he would be undergoing something he would not necessarily like but had no say in the matter, because the woman believed it was the best for him. _

"_Um… five?" she laughed at his bewildered expression which only drove home the unsettling feeling Kakashi had. _

_She pursed her lips in thought as she looked at the air above her, it was as if she was going through an invisible flying calendar or planner. "Then let's meet at six, I might be a little late though, so wait for me," she laughed again and began to get up to leave._

"_Wait, tomorrow's Friday, isn't that usually a date night?" She laughed once more; her green eyes were shining with delight._

"_That's why I might be late," She then waved goodbye while reminding him to meet her at six tomorrow. _

_Sighing, Kakashi finished his drink and paid his tab. It would be suspicious if he stayed much longer. He was turning the corner of the street when he looked back around. He smirked when he saw Lily come back onto the street. He walked back to the flat he was renting with a lighter step. He found the magical beings' government entrance. He would have to wait to discover how to enter later, and he would need a disguise as well. Though he still questioned whether he would need to go to such lengths to assess this "Voldemort" threat. _

"We are experiencing a little bit of turbulence, so we ask all passengers to be seated until we pass this rough patch" It had barely been half an hour since take-off and they were already experiencing "rough air."

Kakashi was gripping his armrests tightly as the plane shook. A death trap, this was a death trap! This wasn't even the flight to England! Oh gods, he could not do this!

He would take a boat or anything other than this bloody contraption. It put intense pressure on his ears and his equilibrium felt off. It was terrible. He hated these things!

It would be over soon, it would be over soon. He kept telling himself this and tried to distract himself with his thoughts again. When was the third time he met Lily? Ugh! Stop shaking! The first time Lily showed him around town, he just had to focus on that!

_Kakashi was outside of the pub at precisely six, well he wasn't __**right**__ in front of it, but rather to the side of it and leaning against the wall. _

_Kakashi was about to pull out a book to pass the time when he heard the clacking of "high heels," a female shoe which, though it made a woman's legs look stunning, were completely impractical in Kakashi's opinion. He turned toward the direction of the noise and saw Lily walking toward him brusquely in those death-trap shoes. _

_She was wearing a dark coat that seemed to be made of a thin material, and a tasteful A-line skirt. By the tenseness in her shoulders he could tell something was bothering the witch, well…presumed witch, there was always the possibility she had forgotten something and was walking back to where she had come from. _

"_Hello Takashi!" she greeted with a warm smile, but Kakashi noted the corners of her mouth were a little too tight. _

"_Hello Lily, I take it the date did not go well?" he asked as she began to lead the way, but she paused in mid-step to look at him sharply. Her green eyes were narrowed slightly and she raised an eyebrow._

"_What makes you think that?" her tone was clipped and she now faced him fully._

"_Your shoulders are tense, your expressions are stiff, and your defensive attitude has confirmed my assumption,"Kakashi saw no point in lying. _

_Lily continued to glare for a moment before her expression relaxed and her shoulder's slumped. "You're right, it was a mess!" she hid her face in her hands and made a noise of exasperation, "I mean, James tired really hard!" she flung her hands away from her face and held them extended in front of her palms faced up. She sighed and let her arms hang at her sides._

"_Come on, I'll show you a great little market around here," her tone was sullen but they began to make their way to the "great" market. Amazing, the woman could keep up with Kakashi despite the things attached to her feet.  
_

"_So…" Kakashi broke their silence, the redhead was still angry or sad about what had happened, it was clear in how she held her self, "what did he do wrong?" When she looked at him sharply in response he elaborated, "I intend to find myself a wife someday, I'd like to know what __**not**__ to do to incur my beloved's wraith?"_

_Lily snorted slightly but smiled at Kakashi. "Well, Takashi, if you must know, he did nothing wrong on the date," she paused and inhaled, "We were meeting my family. He's met my parents before, but it was the first time he met my sister, and her fiancé also happened to be with her," Lily shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat and frowned._

"_James may have been a little insensitive to Tunney's beau, but he was trying to get along with him. My sister really likes this Vernon, but they both hate James," she made defeated noise. "I don't know what I can do to get them to like James, and it looks like Tunney won't even be inviting me their wedding," At this point the redhead's bit her lips and her face was scrunched up as she tried to keep back tears. _

_Shifting awkwardly, Kakashi reached over and rested a hand on her shoulder. She jerked her head to look up at him and her tears began to flow. "I love Tunney so much, but she hates me now! And it's all because I went off to that stupid school, maybe I am a freak like she always says!" Lily sobbed in the middle of the street and hid her face in her hands. _

_Grimacing, Kakashi patted the young woman on her back and soon enough he hand his arms full of red-head. He rubbed her back as the girl choked out how their relationship became strained when she got accepted to some special school and "Tunney" could not go with her. James hasn't helped restore their relationship, and she wanted to be there for her sister on her big day. _

_What the hell was he supposed to do? Give advice? Pretend nothing happened? Just be supportive? He has known the woman for barely an hour and she was already confiding familial problems. Granted he saved her life the first time they met. _

_Lily had calmed down and pulled away from Kakashi's slightly wet shirt. Her face was blotchy and red but she smiled up at him slightly. She sniffed and wiped at the remaining tears. _

"_Thanks, Takashi," she gave an almost self-depreciating laugh, "You probably think I'm insane for telling you all of that," She turned away and continued on their way, but she wiped at her face again, "You just sort of remind me of an old friend I had," she gave that teary smile at him again and Kakashi sighed. _

"_My question is: why are you here when your __**James**__ should be comforting you?" Kakashi had his hands in his pockets again._

_She huffed and shook her head, "He made plans with his friends."_

"_And he still went despite that you were upset?" Kakashi's tone was incredulous, but even he knew not do to that and he was not the most sensitive person in the world. _

"_I didn't tell him I was upset," Lily defended her boyfriend and sighed._

"_I'm a stranger and I could tell you were upset," Kakashi refuted, his incredulousness would not leave him. _

"_But you're perceptive," she had an almost wistful smile as she said this, and she looked at Kakashi out of the corner of her eye, "I won't ask what made you become so perceptive, but you can't deny that you are," she pointed a finger at him in a jokingly stern gesture. _

_Kakashi briefly wished he could read minds to figure out how she made those connections, as well as why she knew not to ask him? Did she know a lot of spies and ninjas? He frowned slightly but kept pace with her. _

_She was smiling happily again by the time they made it to the market. Kakashi calculated the time it would take to get to this place from his dingy flat. He looked around at the various shops, all of which were closed, and noted that some of them would have ingredients for traditional meals he was already missing._

"_Surprised?" Lily asked, "Where have you been getting your groceries? A convenience store?" she teased with a laugh in her voice. Kakashi smiled sheepishly and nodded a little. Lily muffled her laugh with her hands as she regarded Kakashi in complete surprise. _

"_Wow, you must just go straight from your flat to school!" she then grabbed Kakashi's hand and began to drag him to the end of the market, "I have to show you the great coffee shops and pubs in this area!" _

_Kakashi found himself chuckling as he was dragged along by the young woman who was about a head shorter than him. Well, he couldn't say his Friday night was boring. _

Kakashi worked to pop his ears after they had landed. It wasn't working. He'd have to find some water during the lay over. Next was the international flight, he grimaced. He checked schedule and double checked the flight number on his ticket. Cursing, he found an employee and asked them where the gate was for his flight. He then briskly walked there, and at times had to jog.

When he finally got to the gate he saw that people were boarding already. That was close. Giving them his ticket he was given the stub and was led toward the tunnel that would deposit him in another flying death trap for hours upon hours. Concealing his shudder he walked brusquely onto the plane and found his seat. He was by a window and he was not sure if that was good or bad.

He clasped the buckle and began to fidget in his seat. He took a deep breath as he looked at the run way. In fifteen or twenty minutes they would be taking off. Why the hell did they have to be loaded onto the plane so early? Shaking his head he focused on his breathing and tried to think of something else…

_Lily had been showing Kakashi around London for a few weeks now, they would meet perhaps twice a week at different cafés and have lunch or tea and then they would go on a walk. The weather was nice for this grey city, and Kakashi was beginning to familiarize himself with the city. _

_Lily was walking beside him as they went down an shopping district. The shops were unique and seemed to be locally owned. It was quant, he supposed. _

"_So Takashi, you always have books on you, do you have a favorite?"_

"_Hmm?" he looked over at the young woman walking beside him. She was waiting for him to respond. He shrugged his shoulders, "I can't say I have a favorite, but I do enjoy reading," he had no shame in the fact that he read porn, however the author of the porn he read was from his village and well, it could compromise the Elemental Lands. It was best to pretend he had no favorites. _

"_Really? You were reading Dostoevsky at that pub, did you already finish it?"_

"_I'm a fast reader, but I didn't care for it too much. I suppose the dream sequence was intriguing; how he was the attacker, the victim, and the bystander," Lily quirked an eyebrow at Kakashi's explanation. _

"_Okay…" Kakashi chuckled at her tone and she began to laugh too. "Well, what do you read for fun, and don't tell _Crime and Punishment_ was for fun," she gave him a deadpan look and he chuckled again. _

"_I heard it was one of the classics,"Kakashi shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets._

"_You read the classics…." She was looking at him almost incredulously, "That has to be torture, I love reading more than the average person but, please tell me you have some lighter reading?"_

_Kakashi couldn't help the heat that spread across his face or the laugh he made. Lily's brow furrowed at his reaction and she narrowed her eyes. _

"_Why are you blushing and laughing so creepily?" _

_Kakashi coughed and rubbed at the back of his neck in unease, however understanding began to dawn on Lily's face and he gave a weak laugh. _

"_Oh my god! That is gross!" she lightly slapped his arm and looked at him with a scandalized expression, "Porn?" she asked in a harsh whisper._

"_I only read one author's work and he weaves these brilliant plots," Lily had stopped walking by this point and stared at him with her mouth open._

"_Seriously?"_

"_Yes, and he travels the world so he adds meticulous cultural details," Kakashi shook his head in admiration, "A genius, a true artist," Lily made a gagging gesture and shook her head vehemently._

"_I don't want to know!" she had her hands up and she shuddered again. She resumed their walk but there was more space between then, Kakashi shrugged._

"_Porn?" she asked again in disbelief and Kakashi chuckled._

"_Well what should I read, hmm?" Lily looked at him from the corner of her eye, "Apparently classics are not enough, and I had had no intention of telling you about my favorite novels but…" _

_Lily made a noise at the back of her throat and shook her head. She then began to pinch the bridge of her nose, "That is so gross but at least it's not magazines like James," she made a repulsed nose and quickly latched onto Kakashi's arm._

"_Alright, there's a good book store down this street," and they soon were in a second hand bookstore. Kakashi immediately slipped out of her hold and began to peruse the first bookcase he came across. _

_He scanned the different titles in hope that one or two might grab his attention. He hardly noticed that Lily was staring at him in wonder. "Wow, you do like books," when Kakashi turned to figure out why Lily sounded so breathy, he found that she was smiling at him with her eyes glittering. _

_She then sidled up next to him and pointed out one title, "If you like comedy this is a must," she pulled on the spine of the book so Kakashi could remove it and read the description on the back. _

"_When I was a girl I was raised on Carol and Lewis, but those are more children's fantasy," Lily stated, half musing to herself and half informing Kakashi of authors he could read. Her eyes scanned the shelves just as quickly as Kakashi's, she pulled at another books spine, "This is decent if you like adventure," she stated and continued down the line. _

_Lily pointed out different books and occasionally gave a synopsis of the work. Lily left with five new books and Kakashi limited himself to two due to his budget, but he was assured by Lily that they were worth it. When they left the book shop it was nearly dark out. _

_Lily turned to Kakashi, "I should go, James will be worried," she rolled her eyes but then smiled, "I'm glad you like books, Takashi."_

"_I'm glad you like them too," Kakashi smiled in return and was surprised it wasn't forced. With nods the two parted ways. Though most of the time had been spent amongst dusty bookshelves and the conversation revolved around plots and characters, Kakashi had thoroughly enjoyed himself. He doubted there were many in Konoha he could have spent time with in such a manner. It was…refreshing, very refreshing. _

The fasten seat-belt sign had been removed finally and Kakashi did his best to relax in the seat. Take-off was over and Kakashi watched with disconcerted fascination at how different the world looked like from so far up.

"First time flying?"

Kakashi looked at the man sitting next to him. He was English and had a large stomach.

"No," Kakashi gritted out and looked out of the plane window a few more times, "I hate flying"

"Ah," the man sympathized, "you know you're more likely to die in a car crash than while flying."

"Hmm….?" Kakashi let out another deep breath before inhaling. He probably looked like he was Lamaze breathing.

The Englishman beside him chuckled and pushed the button for the stewardess. An air hostess came over to them and smiled cordially at them.

"How may I help you?" she asked in a saccharine tone.

"My mate here is a little afraid of flying," the man clapped Kakashi on the arm. Kakashi could barely stop the muscle under his eye from twitching, presumptuous ass.

"Well, sir, there's nothing to worry about. Flying is much safer than most other forms of transportation," the hostess explained sweetly to Kakashi. Kakashi gave a feeble smile. "Would you like a drink?" Kakashi shook his head but the man nodded his head.

"I'll be fine if I close my eyes," Kakashi stated and leaned back in the seat with his eyes closed. He wanted to block them all out, he had to.

"_Takashi!" Lily called as she jogged to catch up with him. Kakashi turned around in surprise, he had not expected to run into her until their lunch date next week. They had been continued to meet off and on for the past few weeks. Their conversations typically circled around books and Lily always had a new one for him to read and afterwards they would spend hours discussing characters and plots. However she also showed him around London. A whole month of knowing her and he almost felt at home in London, if only it had more trees. _

"_Lily!" he replied before he was enveloped into a hug. She pulled away and smiled at him. _

"_So how are you?!" she asked and began walking in the direction Kakashi had been walking. _

"_I'm good, how are you? And James?" He asked conversationally, however he was only partially paying attention to their conversation. He had received some intel on a potential "Death Eater" attack. _

"_I'm fine…" when she smiled it seemed a little forced, "James is James," Kakashi gave her a side long look. "He's playing football with his friends in this park, I'm going to meet him."_

_That sounded like an unhappy girlfriend to Kakashi, but what did he really know?_

"_Anyways, what are you up to?" Lily asked smiling more genuinely. _

"_I was going to study in the park, it's a nice day," Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets as he shrugged. _

"_Umm hmm," Lily didn't sound convinced, and now that Kakashi was paying closer attention to her, her eyes kept flitting about the area. His intelligence was correct then, that or it was an unbelievable coincidence. _

"_Well why don't you come with me and watch the end of their football match?" Lily asked and began to pull on Kakashi's arm. Kakashi sighed and let himself be dragged toward a flat grassy clearing that had three young men kicking a ball around on it._

_He would be closer to the center of the action and could then have better access to one of those Death Eaters. He had a vacant building already set up for his interrogation. _

"_James!" Lily waved with her free hand since the other was still wrapped around Takashi's arm. A dark haired man wearing glasses looked up with a bright smile that fell quickly. His eyes glowered at their entwined arms. The three players stopped and walked toward the two newcomers. _

"_James!" Lily greeted again once he was closer, her smile was bright and she quickly latched onto his arm. "This is my new friend I was telling you about, his name is Takashi," Lily introduced Kakashi, who eye smiled at the three men. _

"_James Potter," James greeted, there was a slight challenge when he held out his hand to be shook. _

"_Takashi Hatake," he took the hand and refrained from squeezing back as hard as James was, clearly this was a show of masculinity or "claim" he supposed. "Mah, Lily has told me so much about you, she's lucky to have a boyfriend like you," Kakashi attempted to placate the other man. James smiled slightly, his ego clearly boosted. _

_As James was introducing Kakashi to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, Lily gave him a look that said, "What the hell?" He didn't respond, though he knew his words likely contradicted what he implied during their last few meetings, for Lily seldom talked about James unless in an offhanded complaint. _

"_Why don't you join us, then we'd have even numbers," Sirius asked, he had a wolfish smile on his face. _

"_I've never played," Kakashi replied with a sheepish smile. _

"_That's alright, Moony can teach you," Sirius explained as he clapped Remus on the back. _

_And so Kakashi was dragged into the game. He had to restrain himself from running too fast or reacting too quickly. He did his best to match his teacher's skill but he still stunned the others with his apparent natural skill at the game. He was barely sweating after twenty minutes whereas the three men were panting and resting their hands on their knees to catch their breath._

"_**How**__ are you not tired?" Sirius asked and James was nodding his head in agreement._

"_Ex-military," Kakashi stated with a shrug of his shoulders. _

"_Damn, we need your training regime!" James exclaimed before he fell onto his back. Kakashi chuckled and sat himself down. _

"_No you don't, half my platoon got PTSD from it," Kakashi joked._

"_You in the half with it?" James asked jokingly in return. _

"_James!" Lily admonished her boyfriend._

"_What? It's a joke!" he exclaimed and shook his head. _

"_Mah, no harm done, Lily" Kakashi placated the redhead before he leaned back lazily. _

_Kakashi frowned. He felt a sudden wave of killing intent. He stiffened slightly, and he began to prepare his muscles for attack when the sky began to darken._

"_Mah, it looks like it's going to rain now," Kakashi stated as he hopped to his feet. He grabbed his bag from where he set it down. He heard and felt the wizards tense behind him. _

_The air was suddenly very still and then loud cracks and pops filled the air. Kakashi dropped down into a fighting stance, with the back story he told them they would believe it was a natural reaction when he heard such ominous sounds. Kakashi found himself suddenly circled by the wizards who all had sticks out, or rather "wands."_

_Lily looked over her shoulder at him fretfully and gave him a grimace. "I'm sorry I can't explain this," Kakashi just blinked a few times and pretended to be shell-shocked. Soon Death Eaters were upon their group. Kakashi could hear shouted spells scattered around the area, and there were loud crashes and booms all around them. He noted part of the park was now on fire. _

_Kakashi continued to look dumbfounded even as beams of light flew at their group. There were ten figures cloaked in black surrounding them. Soon they were all scattered and dust clouded the air. Kakashi took this moment to separate himself from the wizards. While he had pretended to be shell-shocked he had located a potential target, the figure he locked onto seemed to be giving commands to those around him and initiated most of the assaults._

_Appearing behind the "leader" of the group, he quickly knocked him out, however a Death Eater caught him and began to cast curses at him. Kakashi dodged them with ease and began to form a chidori, he figured this technique could look like a magical attack, where as if he used his hidden kunai… His attacker quickly died and that was when Kakashi picked up his unconscious target. With a body flicker he was in the vacant building he had set up for his interrogation. _

_He quickly stripped the man and strapped him to the metal chair he set up in the middle of the room. He then took away the man's wand. He decided it would be more intimidating if he removed his henge and showed his sharingan, but he would wait to reveal his eye until the man woke. _

_After another thirty minutes the man woke and began to look around him bewildered. Kakashi revealed his spinning red eye to the man and smirked; unfortunately he did not have his mask with him and was dressed in civilian clothes. However he was still intimidating if the man's audible gulp and visible shaking were anything to go off of. _

"_Hello there," Kakashi greeted with a Cheshire cat grin. The trapped man gulped audibly. "I'm interested in this little war you Death Eaters are making," Kakashi stated as he moved around the man. "Care to explain your reasons and purpose? To what ends is your faction striving for?" Kakashi stopped behind the man. _

_He leaned over the man and gently reached for his hand. "Hmm? Go on tell me?" Kakashi asked but the man just shook his head. Kakashi could practically smell the fear wafting off of the man. Kakashi sighed and took hold of one of the fingers and quickly broke it. The man howled in pain which made Kakashi snort derisively at the sniveling man. _

"_Really? You have nothing to tell me?" Kakashi asked again and received the same response, he broke another finger. _

"_The sooner you tell me what I want to know, the less pain you will be subjected to" Kakashi explained in a saccharine voice. Kakashi noted the man's eyes were flitting around the room, as if he was looking for something, however he wasn't looking for an exit. He smirked and retrieved the man's wand. _

"_Were you looking for this?" Kakashi asked, he had the man's undivided attention. Kakashi smirked sadistically. He deftly broke the stick and noted a red stringy material was at the center of it. His captive made a sound like a wounded animal; he whimpered and began to sob. Kakashi chuckled and leaned closer to the man._

"_Come on, tell me what I want to know?" the man shakily shook his head. Kakashi tsk'ed but quickly set fire to the wand with a minor fire jutsu. He dropped it at the wizard's feet. Kakashi stared at him intently with his mismatched eyes. _

"_N-No, I can't! H-he'll kill me!" the man stated fearfully._

"_Who will kill you?" Kakashi probed._

"_L-Lord Voldemort," the man, despite his fear of the situation he was in and of Voldemort, said the name reverently. _

"_And what is his goal, hmm?" the man clamed back up. Kakashi kicked the smoldering ashes of the wand away and it crumbled at the contact. The man whimpered again. _

"_He's going to kill you anyways once he discovers you're missing and not in the KIAs" the man made a pitiful noise and shook his head vehemently. _

"_Very well…"Kakashi gave a sadistic smile as he began to flow electricity into his hand. He then moved to the back of the chair and touched it. The electricity coursed through the man attached to the metal chair. He screamed and writhed in pain but Kakashi did not let up. After another few second he stopped. _

"_Have anything to say now?" Kakashi asked as he leaned over the man. The wizard just whimpered in reply. Kakashi tsk'ed again and sent another charge through the chair. _

"I'm sorry to wake you sir, but here is your dinner," Kakashi stared at the woman, his eyes were sharp, for he had not gone to sleep, he would have lost his disguise if he had. He didn't bother with a seal to keep the henge active this time. It was to be a short stay…

He nodded his head and thanked the woman. The food tasted like trash but he was hungry. Once the attendants came around to collect the refuse Kakashi leaned back and blocked the rest of the plane out.

_Kakashi walked quickly through the streets and came to the café he agreed to meet Lily at for their lunch date. She was already there and looked anxious. However, once she caught sight of him she gave a delighted exclamation and literally ran over to him. She hugged him fiercely and he put on a bewildered expression. _

"_Lily is everything okay?" Kakashi asked and watched as she looked at him in confusion, "Did James and you have a fight, why are you so happy to see me?" Kakashi clarified as he moved the slightly stunned woman toward the entrance of the café. _

_Understanding lit Lily's face and she gave a relieved smile. "No, no, nothing like that," she smiled and began to drag them to a table. "So… what did you do after we split ways?" she asked as they sat down. _

"_Hmm?" Kakashi was looking at the menu standing on the table but directed his attention back to Lily, "I wrote an essay for one of my classes." His "essay" was very successful, and he dumped the body (clothed) into a river near one of the Death Eater headquarters he learned about. _

_So far it seemed that there would be minimum interaction with the Elemental Lands, however if Voldemort became tired of having power over England and wanted to branch out into the world it could be a problem. His target did not have a good idea of what his "Lord" would do once he took over London. It was very possible he would try for the whole world. He would send a report back to Hokage-sama and wait for further instruction. _

"_Anything new for you?" Kakashi asked conversationally. _

"_Nothing much, I moved in with James," Kakashi furrowed his brow at her lackluster statement. _

"_You're not excited?"_

"_Well it's just expected of us," Lily smiled and shrugged, however her smile did not reach her eyes. _

"_Mmm-hmm," Lily caught his tone and glared at him._

"_Well excuse me," she paused before she continued, "We have been dating since we were sixteen," Lily explained as well as reasoned her former lack of enthusiasm, "he'll probably propose to me soon too." _

"_Yes, but you don't sound too happy about that."_

_Lily looked at him with wide eyes and opened her mouth to refute his claims but then she closed her mouth. She opened her mouth again before closing it and blowing out air. Her arms were raised up in an "I don't know" gesture. _

"_What am I supposed to say to that, I'm happy, I suppose," she sighed ran a hand through her hair. "He was my first boyfriend, and he's sweet," to Kakashi she sounded like she was convincing herself. He grimaced. It was really none of his concern but…this was painful to watch. _

"_Why did you start dating him?" She looked up at Kakashi but before she could reply the waiter came by to take their order. _

"_Well?" Kakashi asked once the woman didn't pick up where she had left off after the waiter went to place their orders. _

"_Fine! I decided to date him because…" she faltered and furrowed her brow, "He was a prefect like me, and then he became Head Boy. He was the star athlete, he was brilliant at" she paused minutely. Her hand was cupping her chin as her elbow rested on the table, "literature. He's loyal to those precious to him, and he's really brave"_

"_What kind of bravery?" Lily looked taken aback by his question._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Does he rush into trouble with no plan, and isn't afraid of anything or does he possess the subtle kind of bravery where he stands up for his beliefs despite adversity or act against those who would hurt him if they discovered his subterfuge?"_

_Lily blinked several times and opened and closed her mouth for a few moments, "I never thought of bravery that way…"Kakashi let her to her thoughts and within a few more minutes their food was set down in front of them. _

_Kakashi had taken his first bite of food when Lily spoke up again. She had a wistful expression on her face but her voice was far away, almost as if she was speaking to herself "You really are so much like him."_

_Kakashi stiffened and swallowed his food thickly. This felt like dangerous waters. Was she comparing him to James? That friend she once mentioned…but he assumed it was a woman. Kakashi gave an eye smile and gave an uneasy laugh._

"_And who would that be? Not James, I hope?" his questions made her blink up at him, and Kakashi's notion that she had been talking to herself was confirmed._

"_And what's wrong with James?" Lily snapped as she set her eating utensils down sharply._

_Kakashi just stared at her for a moment before he shook his head, "It would be awkward for you to be comparing me to him," Lily immediately flushed and coughed a little in her discomfort, but when she looked back up at Kakashi she laughed a little._

"_No, you remind me of Severus," her smile faltered and she began frowning, regret etched her features. _

_He knew that expression, it was regret mixed with loss. He would not broach the subject further. He knew loss and grief; he would not drudge up those painful memories. Though curiosity lingered and he did wonder who this Severus was to Lily before his death._

"_So…do you mind me asking why you're still with James if you seem so…" Kakashi made circular motions with one had as he tried to come up with a word._

_However Lily interjected with an indignant cry, "What?"_

"_Ah!" Kakashi eye smiled again, "unenthusiastic about your relationship?" he continued on as if Lily had not spoken, which he noted caused her brilliant greens eyes to flash with irritation._

"_I'm not unenthusiastic," she stated evenly, her almond eyes narrowed. _

"_Um-hmm," Kakashi gave a slight smile and leaned back in his chair, "that explains why you aren't over the moon," Kakashi chuckled when she kicked him under the table. It was almost playful. _

"_Takashi," Lily began, her expression suddenly turned mischievous or perhaps it was vindictive, Kakashi was a little afraid to find out which adjective her slight smile and gleaming eyes went under. Her hands were laced under her chin as she set her elbows on top the table. "Let's talk about __**your**__ love life." _

_Kakashi blinked a few times before he gave a salacious smirk, "You sure?" Lily's expression began to falter and she looked uncertain. "Where do I begin?" Kakashi continued as he rubbed his chin with the back of his hand before resting his chin atop it. _

"_There was that blonde with the mile long legs… then that firecracker with skin like chocolate…The mesh dress girls, pale silvery eyes" Kakashi noted Lily looked scandalized and her hands covered her mouth. Kakashi bit part of his bottom lip as he reminisced about the women he had spent nights with. _

"_Ah! Stop!" her face was fairly flushed and she was waving her hands in front of her. "I don't want to know about lays," she whispered the last word as she glanced around the room. She composed herself and gave a warm smile, "I want to hear about girlfriends, names too, that way I know the difference," she pointed a finger at him as she said the last part. She settled down a little in her chair smiling like the feline that had caught the mouse. _

"_Mah," Kakashi waved his hand and laughed a little, "Never had one," Kakashi eye smiled at her again and folded his hands behind his head._

_Lily's mouth fell open and she stared at him in equal parts horror and shock, "You mean your only relations have been meaningless one night stands?" she whispered the last part and was leaning over the table slightly. "You're as bad as Sirius," she leaned back in her chair with a frown marring her features and her arms crossed over her chest. _

"_They weren't all meaningless. Firecracker gave me some very useful information, actually…"Kakashi paused and thought about the women he had been with, "I retract that, none of them were meaningless."_

_Lily just stared at him speechless and Kakashi chuckled. "Sometimes the best way to get information about a place is to do a little wooing," _

"_That doesn't mean screwing," she snapped back. _

"_Where's the fun in that?" Lily groaned and hid her face in her hands and then kicked him when he began to chuckle again. _

_Kakashi began eating again and was glad that Lily wasn't so embarrassed to have lost her appetite. _

"_Takashi," she began after swallowing a mouthful, "You're hopeless," she had a laugh in her voice and Kakashi just shrugged. _

_The rest of the conversation was mundane; they primarily talked about books, and the weather. After they paid for their meals they left the café and Kakashi turned to Lily to say his goodbyes._

"_Are you busy tomorrow?" Lily asked before he could speak. He blinked a few times before shaking his head. _

"_Don't you have plans?" Kakashi asked in return, Lily just smiled and shook her head, "Nothing with James or friends" Lily frowned a little. _

"_James is going out with his friends tomorrow afternoon. I thought we could meet up," Kakashi nodded but he frowned slightly._

"_What about your friends?" Lily's frown deepened but she quickly clapped her hands together and smiled at him. _

"_Meet me at the park from last week, you know where you played football with the boys. We'll tour the city on bike!"_

"_I don't know how to bike," Kakashi confessed before Lily could scamper off. She looked at him wide-eyed but quickly smiled._

"_I'll teach you, and we can rent a tandem bike, okay! One o'clock, sharp!" she called before she hurried away. Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his wild hair. It would be nice to learn more about this place, and he wouldn't receive further orders for some time…He enjoyed Lily's company too, but frankly, he felt like he was getting into something he really shouldn't. _

The lights were dimmed in the plane and the air hostess was passing out blankets and pillows. When the woman came to his row he leaned forward and accepted the items.

"Ma'am," he caught her attention and stewardess paused, "How much longer will the flight be?"

"Approximate landing time is about eight hours from now. It's best to get a little sleep so the jet lag won't hit you too hard," the woman smiled sweetly and continued on her way. Kakashi set the pillow and blanket up so that he could continue to feign sleep. It would kick his ass when he landed but frankly…these flying death traps unsettled him – besides, he could not sleep lest his illusion fall.

_Kakashi was at the park at exactly one, but the place was large so it took nearly fifteen minutes to find Lily. She smiled up at him and turned to a cyclist renter and negotiated terms, or at least that was what Kakashi figured they were doing. _

"_I forgot to tell you where in the park, didn't I?" Lily asked with a grimace once the transaction was finished. _

_Kakashi shrugged and accepted the object she handed him, it was a "helmet" and he followed Lily's example to put it on. _

"_Biking is very simple," Lily began as she moved the side of yet another strange metal contraption; however it seemed less dangerous than the "car" or "plane". _

"_You sit on this seat and balance your weight. Then you use your feet to move these pedals. You just…"she frowned and couldn't think how to explain the mechanics. _

"_I'm sure I'll pick it up," Kakashi reassured the red-head. She smiled again and swung her leg over the bike and fitted it onto the pedal. Kakashi mimicked her and together they got onto the bike and began pedaling. As Lily said, it was very simple and he quickly caught the hang of it. She was ahead of him, which was perfectly fine, she instructed him often and it was an enjoyable ride around the area. _

"_Lily," he addressed the woman who peered over her shoulder briefly, flashing a smile again, "You never answered my question yesterday. What about your friends?" He saw her shoulders tense. _

"_I'm not really that close to any of them. I…I know this is going to sound egotistical, but they aren't as intelligent as me. Our conversations seem lacking and unsatisfying, its partially the same with James and his friends," she paused and flashed a smile over her shoulder, "except Remus." She steered them further into the city, "Though that's not really all of it. They don't really know me, and I want to open up but I know they won't understand." _

_They came to a river with a walking path beside it. Lily began slowing the bike so Kakashi lay off the pedals. They got off the bike and Lily leaned the bike against the wall that was separating the pathway from the drop into the river. _

_Lily sat down heavily on the bench that was behind them. Kakashi followed suit and both of them took off the helmets._

_She looked so forlorn. He found himself reaching out his hand without his mind's consent; he was soon offering a comforting hand to her shoulder. Lily turned toward him and smiled slightly_

"_Severus knows me," she began softly and looked down at the bench between them. "He's known me since we were little kids. He's so intelligent too; I was always amazed by his ingenuity and pure talent," Kakashi squeezed her shoulder. _

"_You use the present tense but you sound like you've lost him," Lily looked up at him but nothing had changed in her expression._

"_He pushed me away," her tone was cold and hard. _

"_I find that hard to believe but then, I don't know him," Kakashi removed his hand from her shoulder and got comfortable on the bench. "Tell me about him, about when you two were kids." _

_Lily looked like she was about to deny him when she sighed and looked out at the river. "I told you before that Tunney thinks I'm a freak?" Kakashi nodded his head stiffly to the redundant question. "We were playing in the park one day when we were little, I scared her or maybe just alarmed her by my…" Lily faltered and frowned. "Anyways, she ran away calling me a freak and then this sickly boy came out of nowhere and told me I was special, that there was a school for kids like him and me.  
_

"_He told me all about the school and then when we were eleven we got acceptance letters to the school he described. He was right about everything and all he told me about the school was…" she smiled and tears were beginning to form at her eyes. "He was my best friend, the only person that really knew me at the school, and since Tunney no longer wanted anything to do with me he was the closest person I had in my life." She went on to describe their early years of schooling and their summer breaks. She talked about the adventures they got into and the challenges they faced, the main challenge was Severus's house, which did not approve of her family status. _

"_Then…" her green eyes darkened and Kakashi could tell she was trying to stop crying, "James always picked on him. I don't know why he did and I used to fight him about it all the time. He was arrogant and cruel and I hated him at that time – and he never let up on Severus!" Her anger had taken over her sadness but it was quickly slipping away, "Sometimes the pranks went too far, and that was what happened when we were sixteen. He embarrassed Severus in front of his house and our peers. I tried to defend him and then he…" Lily clenched her eyes closed but she still began crying, "I never would have believed he could say something so…I never would have imagined him saying __**that**__ word to me." _

_Kakashi grimaced when he realized he had wrapped his arm around her shoulder and had pulled her against his chest. He shouldn't be comforting her, this was dangerous territory for him. _

"_Lily," she looked up at him through her bangs, "he may have done that because his pride was damaged. You said his house and peers were there." Lily pulled away looking affronted, "His masculinity was already threatened by James and his prank, but then he had a girl standing up for him and fighting his battles. He had to gain some control, and pride back from that situation and you were the one he took it out on." Lily looked ready to refute his claims but he could also tell that he had made her begin thinking more critically about the situation._

"_I know he was a dear friend to you from how you talk about him, and I'm sure that was reciprocated." Kakashi paused briefly before shaking his head in negation, "No, I am positive it was reciprocated._

"_Lily, he was humiliated, emasculated day after day by James and your interventions. He didn't have the protection of his house did he?" Kakashi asked rhetorically but received an affirmative nod, "He wanted their support too, and perhaps the only way he could curry their favor and also gain back some respect was by saying that hurtful word," Kakashi brushed at some of the remaining tears in Lily's eyes. _

"_Trust me, he regrets those words. You likely meant just as much to him as he meant to you. He probably kicks himself every day for pushing you away." Kakashi rubbed her cheek with his thumb a few more times while he said those words. He may have been presuming but he felt that he could relate._

_He regretted what he had said to Obito all those years ago…he regretted what happened with Rin. He wasn't even as close as Severus and Lily were, but he regretted it all day after day. Perhaps because it ended in death and a hollow victory, but wasn't that what Severus must have felt? He may as well have killed Lily for the way she removed herself from his life. _

"_Why did he have to…" Lily trailed off and began to cry a little more. They were silent tears that quickly subsided._

"_If you were in his shoes, if you were humiliated day after day…" Lily shook her head at his words before she rested her head against Kakashi's shoulder and looked out at the river. _

"_It was like Tunney calling me a freak, it hurt just as much as her saying those words to me," Lily's voice was small. Kakashi squeezed her arm from where his arm was wrapped around her shoulder. _

"_Give him a chance to apologize, he will be groveling at your feet for the chance to have you forgive him and be in his life again," she tilted her head back to look at him better and gave a slight smile, "I know it," the certainty in his voice seemed to give her resolve._

"_Okay…I'll meet with him," Lily sat up and nodded to herself. She then turned toward him, her eyes wide and imploring, "Can I visit you afterwards though?" _

_Kakashi raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "Sure, tell me when and where," but Lily was shaking her head._

"_No," she was shaking her head still, "It will have to fit all of our schedules and who knows when that can change, besides, what if we end up talking for hours and your left waiting for me to show up what then?" she shook her head one last time, "Give me your address and I'll pop by after I'm done meeting with him."_

_Kakashi could not refute her logic, besides he didn't have a phone to call, and he doubted she did either. With a sigh he told her his address and deduced that she memorized it. "Come on," he stood up with a grunt, "we should return the bike," _

_Lily stood up as well and smiled. "Yeah," she paused and reached out her arm to touch Kakashi's arm, "Thanks 'Kashi." _

_Kakashi turned around quickly and put on his helmet. It was so strange to hear her say an abbreviation of his real name. Granted he choose the name Takashi __**because**__ it was close to his real name. It was strange how her saying that made everything that just passed seem all the more real and…he felt like he had a friend again. _

_As they biked back to the park he told himself over and over again that he couldn't develop feelings or feel attached to her. He was lying to Lily but… "Thanks 'Kashi" kept playing over and over again in his head and he felt a pleasant warmth, a comforting warmth._

_When they were parting ways, Lily stopped him from leaving, "You don't mind if I start calling you 'Kashi, do you? You were silent the whole way back and I think it was a good silence." _

_He was at a loss but without his consent he found himself nodding and smiling, "Yeah, I don't mind."_

_Lily smiled at him and he felt that it truly was directed at him, Hatake Kakashi special jounin, not his disguise. But was Hatake Takashi really a disguise, he just changed his profession and hair color (and sharingan). _

"_Thank you again 'Kashi," he just nodded and made his way home. He tried to ignore that his eye was stinging and that something warm slipped down his cheek once or twice._

* * *

A Suivre

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_**A/N:** _Do I need to up the rating, I get really panicky about ratings but I don't think the content is too mature, I can amend that quickly - I'll likely change it to M eventually because of suggestive themes and again, I'm panicky about ratings, but I don't want to do that before its necessary. I know the fanfic is likely going in a different way than expected, but I hope it is still worth reading. Thank you, I hope it was enjoyable ~ depressedchildren

Also, yes the titles are different, the french one should translate to: "To have a friend again" but my french grammar sucks and there are always little nuances I never get, so...


	3. Chapter 2: Reminisces and Travel Part 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

_**Full Summary:**_The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** F-bombs, swearing, crying, shirtless Kakashi, Severus, and airports.

_**A/N:**_ So…I feel like I've made Lily overly emotional, but then if my sister hadn't invited me to her wedding (even though we aren't the closest) like Petunia did to Lily, I'd be bawling my eyes out. Then if my brother (because Severus is essentially that) also rejected me…I hope that justifies why Lily seems to cry a lot. Anyways, enjoy this chapter, it's shorter than the last one but it felt like a good place to break up the story. Thank you for all the reviews (love them!), favorites and alerts! Enjoy ~ with much love, depressedchildren.

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Chapître 2: La réunion des meilleurs amis

* * *

Kakashi jerked to attention when the turbulence began. Damn! How was everyone still asleep? It was black as pitch outside below the airplane, probably due to clouds covering city lights or they were traveling over an ocean. Stars glittered above the flying death-trap, sometimes they were obscured by shifting clouds.

However the scenery could not distract Kakashi from this gods-awful shaking! It certainly felt like the airplane would fall apart from the violent jerking, and occasionally it actually sounded like it would fall apart, the way the wind beat against the plane. He clenched the armrests and tried to focus on his memories.

_Kakashi jumped slightly when he heard someone knocking on the door of his dingy flat. He quickly rolled up the mission orders from the Hokage and dropped it into a drawer. He then made his way toward the door when he heard more knocking. He was wearing sweatpants and forewent a shirt. He had received the scroll while he was working out and had not bothered changing. _

_Kakashi looked around his flat and double checked that no ninja equipment was out. He had a mat rolled out from when he was doing stretches. He also had left a sword out but he supposed it was likely the landlord so they would just be talking at the door. _

_He quickly opened the door ajar before the landlord could knock again, however to his surprise Lily was standing on the other side of the door. _

"_Ah!" her face was bright red and she turned around, her hands were pressed tightly to her flaming cheeks. "I-I'll just come by another time!"_

"_It's alright, I was working out," part of his mind already worked out that she thought he had a "friend" over if her hasty, wide-eyed retreat was any clue, but he was still puzzled. _

_He opened the door open wider and quickly grabbed the sword he had left out and threw it into the cupboard that he drew a shirt out from. He pulled it over his head as he shut the cupboard door with his foot. Lily hesitantly entered the dingy apartment and wrinkled her nose. _

"_What?" _

_Lily jumped a little and laughed sheepishly, "Just smells like a guy's apartment," there was an underlying tone of distaste. _

"_Hmm..?" Kakashi moved over to the one window in the studio apartment and opened it wide open. Lily gave an embarrassed laugh and sat down on the lone couch. _

"_I met with Severus today, I just parted ways actually," she fidgeted slightly, but she had a bright smile on her face. _

_Kakashi sat himself on the coffee table in front of his couch that also acted as his dining table. He was cattycorner from the red head who had her hands clasped together in front of her as she stared at the polished surface of the table. _

"_And…?" when Lily didn't respond right away he continued on, "I assume it went well?" _

_She looked up at him then and nodded her head, "Better than well. To think he hasn't been in my life for nearly three years! All because of pride," she frowned and looked down at her hands. "I feel stupid for all of the wasted time and he told me he felt the same way. He tried to apologize to me so many times I just wouldn't listen to him."_

_Kakashi remained silent, his hands were in the pockets of his sweatpants and he distributed his weight to put the least amount of stress on the small table. _

"_It just…It was like being pushed away from Tunney all over again when he called me that, and I still feel hurt - you know?" She looked up at him, and he hummed._

"_Did you say you wanted to re-forge your friendship, even if you couldn't forgive him at the moment?" Lily nodded in response. "Good, then he will probably spend the rest of his life working to get your forgiveness."_

_Lily flushed and shook her head, "That's a little exaggerated," she laughed. _

"_I wouldn't be surprised if he loves you," Kakashi then proceeded to laugh when she stared at him wide-eyed and startled. He really wouldn't be surprised if that truly was the case. Severus seemed like he had a lonely childhood from what Lily told him, and Lily was the only one who likely gave him attention and actually treated like a person. She continued to give that support when he was ostracized at school. It wouldn't take much for anyone to fall in love with someone so kind when everyone else was so cruel. _

"_What?! He's like a brother to me!" Kakashi only shrugged and smirked. She shook her head over and over again._

"_That was probably why James picked on him all the time," Kakashi suggested and leaned back even further. He was being a little presumptuous, but James was the jealous type if their encounter at the park was any indication. There also had to be a valid reason as to why he would bully Lily's best friend, especially if he wanted to get in her favor - unless of course, said best friend was a rival in love. It seemed more and more plausible as he thought about it. Perhaps it was because he was an outsider looking in that he saw these connections, or perhaps he was making looking for something that didn't exist?_

_Lily was now shaking her head frantically. "No! No! That can't be why…" but then understanding came over her. Her shoulders slumped forward and she glared at her hands, "But James had been asking me out since third year and that was when the pranks started getting really bad. Oh God!" she covered her face with her hands, "Damn it James!"_

_Lily got up then and hurried out the door leaving Kakashi staring after her with upraised eyebrows. He figured she was going to talk to her boyfriend. He may as well finish his interrupted workout. He got off the coffee table and proceeded to walk around his apartment on his hands sans his shirt because it would only obscure his sight. _

_After about thirty minutes he began doing squats and after seven hundred he proceed to get in a hand stand and do "push-ups." He was at a hundred when his door banged open. He had heard the angry footsteps stomping up the stairs but he assumed it was one of his neighbors. _

"_Argh! Fucking James Potter!" Kakashi deftly flipped around and onto his feet to see Lily slamming the door closed. "And were you just doing push-ups in a hand stand?" her question was snapped out and sounded angry though it was supposed to be incredulous._

_Kakashi nodded his head slowly and quickly threw on his shirt. Lily was shaking her head and pacing. "You are ridiculous! Hand-stand push-ups, really?" she was breathing heavily as she continued to pace around his studio flat. _

"_Why are you focusing on that?" he leaned against the back of his couch as he watched her continue to pace. He had his arms crossed over his chest. _

"_Because, because" she threw her hands up into the air. "God damn it James!"_

"_Why are you yelling at me and not him?" _

"_Oh! I've yelled at him alright! He fucking pisses me off so much! That arrogant, lousy, ugh!" she stopped storming around and stood in the middle of his studio and began to cry into her hands. Grimacing, Kakashi pushed himself off the couch back and pulled Lily into a hug. _

"_Why did I ever date him?" she sobbed, "He manipulated everything, just drove Severus to that point! He was my best friend and James-" she choked on another sob and kept crying. Kakashi guided her to the back of the couch where he leaned against the back of it and began to sway back and forth with her in his arms. _

_Her tears eventually subsided but she didn't pull away from Kakashi. "'Kashi, I'm going to break up with him," she whispered against his chest. "I only started dating him because…because Snape pushed me away, because I lost my best friend," she frowned and wrapped her arms around Kakashi's neck. _

"_Will you meet Severus sometime?" Lily asked softly after a time. _

"_Sure," Kakashi whispered back. _

"_Good," and an hour lapsed where they just stood there leaning against the back of the couch. _

A tick had begun to form under Kakashi's right eyes; the turbulence had lasted for at least an hour now. He felt like this thing would fall apart any second! He continued his deep breathing which looked suspiciously like Lamaze breathing. When would this bloody thing land!?

He just had to focus on something else, _any_thingelse.

_Lily was tugging at his arm insistently. It had begun to rain and the weather had turned chill. Kakashi picked up his pace to match Lily's slight jog to get out of the rain. Quickly they came under an awning where they shook out their umbrellas. Lily's coat collar was up to her chin as was Kakashi's, but it did not keep the wind from slipping through. They then hurried into the warm but dim café. Lily gave a delighted cry and hurried over to a dour looking man who was sitting in the back corner. Kakashi followed at a more sedated pace and smiled at the reunion of lifelong friends. _

_The man, Severus, had stood up and accepted Lily's hug. He looked at Kakashi from over her shoulder and his beady eyes narrowed slightly. Kakashi nodded his head slightly in greeting and Severus returned the gesture when he pulled away from Lily._

"_And you are?" Severus asked, his voice was deep and held a touch of superiority to it._

"_Takashi Hatake," Kakashi nodded slightly again._

"_Severus Snape," Severus mimicked him and then gestured for Lily to take a seat. _

_As Lily was sitting down at the table, she said, "'Kashi has proven to be a good friend the last few months. He was the one who told me talk to you," Severus blinked in surprise and quirked one dark eyebrow. _

"_Really? And how did you manage that feat. Lily has an admirable stubbornness," Severus gave her a small smile to show he was not angry and she rolled her eyes. At that moment the server came up to them to take their drink orders, once he left Kakashi spoke up.  
_

"_She told me about your childhood friendship," He noted the man had started to tense but relaxed when he said "friendship"…curious… Did Severus Snape have a bad childhood? "You two were very close, and from what I gathered about the situation your words had been careless," Severus again quirked an eyebrow._

"'_Kashi told me you regretted it, he was so certain that I was convinced I should at least hear if that was the case," Lily stated and smiled from her position between the two men. The server returned and set down their drinks (earl grey for Lily and Snape and green tea for Kakashi)._

_Surprise was clear in the man's dark eyes, but otherwise Severus showed no emotion, "And how were you so certain Mr. Hatake?" _

_Kakashi met the man's gaze and stated, "I too have said things I've regretted to those dear to me…unfortunately I never got the chance to apologize. I even gained something in spite of those words but it was a hollow victory." Kakashi crinkled his brow; it felt like someone was trying to use a genjutsu on him. He couldn't help but look around him with his brow furrowed_

"_Severus!" Lily whispered harshly and Kakashi noted she was glaring at her friend. Severus looked away from him and Kakashi felt the presence leave him. Did he just…Did that Severus guy try to do something to him?_

"_Do you mind if I ask who you lost Mr. Hatake?" Severus asked. His was voice cold._

_Kakashi looked down at the table, "Yes but what does it matter…" He slowly looked up at the other man, consequently meeting his challenge. Severus was suspicious of him, clearly. The man was guarded and perceptive, he would make a brilliant spy if he wasn't already one._

"_My father was the first person, and it took five years for me to regret what I said to him." He knew his voice was low and sounded distant, for in his mind he saw again the puddle of blood moving outward from his father's body, the dagger protruding from his stomach. Arms, likely belonging to an ANBU or Police Corps operative, were forcing him out of the room but he was too shell-shocked to care. The white yukata his father wore was crimson as it continued to collect blood. Unconsciously his fist clenched on top of the table. Kakashi didn't even fell the presence in his mind until he came back to the present. He noted Lily had a hand on his shoulder while she was glaring at Severus again. The presence left him once more. _

"_The others were my teammates. We…ended the war but I lost one of them in the process, and we had just come to a new understanding," Kakashi frowned and swallowed thickly. In his mind's eye he could see the cave-in consuming the rest of Obito. _

"_War?" Kakashi looked up at the question voiced in unison. _

"_Vietnam?" Lily asked frowning, "I didn't know Japan had been involved," _

"_Who said I was with the Japanese army?" Kakashi asked with an eye smile. Severus had his lips pursed and Lily was frowning. "Mah," Kakashi stretched his arms upward, "That's all in the past,"_

_Lily shook her head, "How old would you have been, fifteen?" she looked aghast. _

"_I lost my father when I was eight, make what you will from that," this was making him uncomfortable. It was true he was a soldier at that age, but… He took a quick sip of his cooling tea. _

"_A child soldier," Severus was frowning, and Kakashi could almost see pity in his eyes._

"_I thought you said you were from Japan," Kakashi eye smiled but ended up sighing when she continued to look at him with those wide, calculating eyes. _

"_I was a porter and spy until I was fifteen that was when they put me in combat, but then it was over. Some international organization took me in after that and I became a Japanese citizen," he sighed and looked down at his hands, "I was given therapy and what not, so don't worry, okay?" he looked side long at Lily who was still frowning. He took another sip of his tea and noted that Severus was beginning to drink his own tea. _

"_Why do you do those ridiculous exercises then?" _

_Severus quirked an eyebrow at Lily's words, "What constitutes ridiculous, Lily?" the young woman gave him a wry smile and began to drink her tea while Kakashi explained._

"_Hand-stand push-ups," Kakashi noted in a slightly pleased fashion that Severus coughed in surprise, "Which really aren't that ridiculous. You haven't seen my balancing or kenjutsu exercises," Kakashi eye smiled again. _

"_Kenjutsu?" the two looked at him in question and he continued to eye smile. _

"_You're not going to translate that are you?" Lily asked dryly and rolled her eyes when he nodded. "Oh! I've been meaning to ask, what does that tattoo on your arm mean?" Lily then poked where his ANBU tattoo was and Kakashi rubbed the spot when she retracted her hand._

_Severus was glaring at him, the wizard likely deduced that Lily had seen him without his shirt on or when he was wearing a sleeveless shirt. He gave a disarming smile to the man before he turned back to Lily._

"_Mah, Lily I can't tell you that, its top secret!" he was eye smiling again and she was glaring at him. _

"_Takashi," her tone was flat and almost threatening. _

"_Fine!" he shook his head. "It signifies that I'm part of a specific branch in the Japanese army, okay?" _

"_You joined another army even after being a child solider?" Severus asked incredulously._

"_Well… yeah," he shrugged, "but with this being a time of peace and all…" he shrugged again. "Call it part of my PTSD if you will, I needed the structure." _

"_Mr. Hatake, may I ask how you could possibly be studying at a university level when you had such a childhood?" Kakashi refrained from smirking, oh yes; this man would be a brilliant spy someday if he wasn't already one. _

"_No, I don't mind," he shrugged and leaned back in his seat, "I will be the first to admit that the commanders favored me. I was bright and I picked up languages quickly. They taught me to read and speak English, and they taught me many dialects and other languages. They taught me mathematics and related sciences, but I learned the most when I was taken to Japan and lived there. Three years may be a short time but I was always a fast learner…I think the commanders called me a prodigy?" Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at the last sentence and shrugged again. _

_Severus was glaring at him while Lily stared at him in awe. "Why are you two so surprised, wasn't that school you went to for prodigies?" the two magical beings blinked before nodding. They quickly looked down at their tea and began drinking it. _

"_Oh Lily!" Kakashi managed to sound like he had just remembered something, though truthfully he had not forgotten but he wanted the uncomfortable silence to end. "Did you…talk with James again?" _

_Lily immediately began glaring and her hands clenched her teacup harshly. "Yes I talked with him," she bit out and glared at the table as if she could set it on fire. Severus's interest was instantly piqued. _

"_He can be such an insensitive jerk!" she exhaled loudly. Kakashi noted Severus quirked an eyebrow at his best friend's words and there was a hopeful look in his eyes. _

"_What did he say?" Kakashi asked in an exasperated tone, exasperation aimed at James. _

"_He said I was being rash, and that I was making a mountain out of nothing, and when I accused him of purposely bully Severus so that our friendship would end so __**he **__could date me," Lily paused to catch her breath, "He said I was looking for excuses and accused me of cheating on him, with __**you**__!" She slumped down into her chair with her hands crossed over her chest and she was grumbling, "That jealous, brash, pig-head!"_

_Kakashi was looking skyward and was pinching the bridge of his nose. Through his peripheral he could see Severus was in a state of shock though he hid it well. Kakashi would have missed the expression if he wasn't trained in spying and reading people. _

"_That was why I said you talked all about him when I met him at the park," Lily furrowed her brow at Kakashi's statement._

"_What?" _

"_You didn't notice he was focusing on your arm wrapped around mine? Lily," He leaned toward her and looked her right in the eye, "imagine him walking into a room with some girl on his arm, how would you feel?"_

"_I'd greet her and ask how they met?"_

"_You wouldn't be jealous?" Severus piped in and stole the words right out of Kakashi's mouth. She looked at the two guys who were watching her intently even encouragingly. _

"_No, because I know James is faithful. Mer-God! I mean he bullied you all through school so we'd stop being friends to date me" Lily was now looking at Severus and talking to him._

"_And it wasn't until your friendship with Mr. Snape ended that you gave James a shot. What proof did he have that you wanted only him?" Kakashi asked immediately after, and he noted that Snape quirked an eyebrow at being addressed as "Mr. Snape". _

_Lily stared between her two friends and groaned. "Why do you two have to be the voice of reason?" She sighed and straightened up, "That still doesn't change that he's irrationally jealous, I've been dating him for almost three years now! He has no reason to feel that way. Besides he's insensitive and always runs off with his friends."_

"_And have you told him he was being insensitive or that you'd rather he did not go off with his friends? Do you communicate with him?" Kakashi asked which made Lily frown._

"_He's jerk and cruel and it is about time you realized that," Severus stated in a clipped tone, his arms crossed over his chest. _

_Kakashi gave the man a blank stare, "Voices of reason are supposed to be unbiased," he pointed out and received a quirked eyebrow in response, though there was a deadly gleam to his beady eyes._

"_And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Kakashi did not dignify the question with an answer and merely stared at the man blankly for an uncomfortably long time. _

"'_Kashi, you're right, I don't talk to him but he doesn't really take things seriously. He didn't take meeting Tunney and Vernon seriously and when he took me back to my flat, he didn't even ask me how I was doing after that disaster. And then he just left to go be with his friends," she gave sigh and shook her head, "he said he could be back in a few hours, he didn't even notice I was upset - that I was about to cry. _

"_Takashi, he doesn't get it and why should I make him understand if he won't take it seriously?" Kakashi grimaced at her forlorn expression and unconsciously reached out a hand to rest on her shoulder, consequently mimicking Severus. _

"_Lil, you should do what makes you happy," Severus's voice was low and gentle, Kakashi glared at him, though his words were sincere it was clear he had a hopeful agenda. _

"_Of course you should do what makes you happy, but he does care about you, talk to him about what you've told us. If he would purposely destroy your relationship with your best friend to date you, he is serious about you and will do whatever he can to be the one for you," Severus was now glaring at him and if looks could kill…Kakashi supposed he'd need CPR right then. _

_Lily glared at her tea as she weighed her options. Kakashi thought of the expression he had recently heard about having an angel and devil on one's shoulder. Granted it was rude to equate Severus to the devil. _

_Kakashi leaned back in his chair and let her be. Severus lingered for a moment but withdrew as well. _

"_Mah, I'll let you two catch up," Kakashi stood up and stretched before he set some money on the table, "I have a paper to write," he explained when Lily began to protest. In actuality he had a lead on some Death Eater activity and hoped to listen in. _

_They said their goodbyes and the two magical beings were left to talk about magical things. _

The "fasten seatbelt" sign turned off finally and Kakashi relaxed and went back to feigning sleep. It was pitch black outside the window - all stars were completely obscured by clouds. He hoped they would land soon. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand being inside this metal monster.

_Kakashi shot up on his couch, he was panting and sweat dripped from him in rivulets. The Iwa-nin. They were closing in. Rin was screaming. Obito was already lost, crushed under those boulders. Fucking Iwa! Fucking bastards! _

_He sat there for an undeterminable amount of time. Then there was a knock at his door. He blinked, the daze he was in left him, he calmed down. He wasn't even in the elemental lands anymore; he was far away from that. The war ended almost six years ago. He stood up shakily. His illusion was still in place thanks to the seal he put on himself. _

_He opened the door, but his muscles were tensed for attack. Kakashi relaxed when he saw it was Lily. "C-come in" his voice was shaky and rough. _

"'_Kashi, are you alright?" She asked, her face was blotchy and red from crying and her voice was also rough. _

"_Had a bad dream," He opened the door wider and made way for Lily who walked in shakily. _

"_Was it about the war?" she asked quietly and moved to sit down on the couch but paused when she noted the blankets. She looked back up at Kakashi who continued to stand by the door; he was wearing an A-line tank and his boxers. _

_Kakashi nodded slowly and shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it." He was in the present, he wasn't thirteen anymore, he was an ANBU operative now, not a newly minted jounin. He gave a half-hearted smile. _

"_W-what happened? Did you talk with James?" Lily nodded slowly and sat down on the coffee table behind her. She propped her elbows on her knees and held her head between her hands. Her long fingers wove into the hair framing her face. _

"_I did what you suggested, communicate with him. He didn't know what I was talking about but he said he'd try to change. He's a good guy, he really is but…" she sighed and dropped her arms across her knees and looked up at Kakashi, "I don't like him like I thought I did. He was just there," Lily's lip quivered for a moment but she shook her head. _

_Kakashi groaned and sat down on the arm of the couch. "Don't tell me you broke up with him and came straight here? It's what? Three in the morning?"_

"_James got back at two from being out with his friends…"_

"_So you talked to him while he was drunk? Drunks say hurtful things –"_

"_He wasn't drinking with them!" she snapped back. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. The full moon had set already so there was really only light from the streetlamps filtering in through the window. He sighed and moved to turn on a lamp. He may have great night vision but he doubted she did. Lily blinked at the light, as did Kakashi. _

"_He wasn't drinking, they just do that sometimes - stay out really late," Lily explained, though she wasn't upset about it, strangely enough. She sighed and moved to sit on the couch/bed. Kakashi sat down next to her but turned to face her, so one leg was folded on the couch while the other dangled off of it. _

_She leaned her head back against the couch's back rest and looked at him despondently, "'Kashi…"her lip began to tremble, "I want to see Tunney, but I don't think I can take her insults right now," her voice began to choke up and tears began to form, "I just want my big sister!" she wiped fruitlessly at the tears and tried to keep them in. Kakashi grimaced at her efforts. _

_He tentatively reached out to her and she latched on. They ended up lying on the couch, Lily resting her head against Kakashi's chest while he just held her as she cried. "I want to talk to her. I want my big sister," she cried weakly, brokenly. _

_Kakashi frowned and held her tighter. "You can call her, ask her to meet you, say you have to talk to her, that you need your big sister," Kakashi whispered. He rubbed her back and her tears began to subside. _

"_But what if she won't listen to me?" Lily whispered. _

"_I doubt she's that hard hearted, you are her little sister," _

"_Will you go with me?" Kakashi grimaced at her request. _

"_That might give your sister the wrong impression," he said hesitantly._

"_Please Takashi?" he sighed and sat up, consequently making Lily sit up too. _

"_Alright," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "There's a payphone on the corner, let me get dressed and I'll be right down, 'kay?" She nodded and stood up shakily. _

_Kakashi moved to his cupboard and pulled out some jeans and pulled them up quickly, he then grabbed a sweater and threw that on. He scrounged around the bottom of the cupboard and retrieved some socks that may be clean and put them on. Next he slipped on his shoes and grabbed his coat. _

_When he got down to the corner Lily was fidgeting at the payphone with the phone to her ear. She caught him in her peripheral and calmed down a little. Kakashi stood next to her and she calmed further. She just needed him for moral support he guessed, which was a first in his book. _

"_**What!? Who is this?"**__ Lily jumped and almost squeaked._

"_Tunney?!" her voice wavered and Kakashi could hear she was close to tears, he put his hand on her shoulder._

"_**Lily? Is that you? I-is something wrong?"**_

"_Tunney, I need you, please don't turn me away," Lily pleaded, her tears finally came. Kakashi could hear Tunney gasp on the other end._

"_**Lily, what's wrong?! Where are you?"**__ Tunney was in big sister mode now, it seemed._

"_I-I'm at a friends,"_

"_**Did that fre-"**_

"_I broke up with James, Tunney I need my big sister, please!" _

"_**I'll be right over, where are you?"**_

"_I can go over to your flat if that's eas-"_

"_**Lily,"**__ Tunney's voice was sharp, __**"Don't you dare, not in the shape you're in. I'll be right over,"**_

_Lily looked over at Kakashi who nodded his head, "O-Okay," she then gave Petunia the address and apartment number. The two returned to the apartment building where Kakashi folded up his sheets and set a kettle on the little stove in his studio. _

_Lily sat on the couch her hands clasped together. _

"_I have green tea and ginseng tea," Kakashi stated from his kitchenette. She didn't respond so he made two mugs of ginseng and a mug of green tea for himself. While the leaves were steeping there came a knock on the door. Lily was still sitting on the couch so Kakashi answered the door. A tall blonde woman with a little too much neck stood there. _

"_Ah," she looked startled, "I-I must have the wrong address," she whispered and began backing away. Kakashi noted she had the same cheeks and nose as Lily, though her face was unfortunately long, like a horse. _

"_You're Tunney, right?" Kakashi asked which startled the woman further._

"_Tunney's here?!" Lily called, coming out of her shocked state. She was on her feet and running to the door. _

"_I prefer Petunia, thank you," Petunia addressed Kakashi before she was practically tackled by her sister._

"_Tunney!" Lily sobbed and held onto her big sister tightly. _

"_I made some tea, its ginseng," Kakashi gestured to the steaming mugs at the counter in his little kitchen, "I'll go take a walk," Lily pulled her head way from her sister's bosom to stare at Kakashi in surprise._

"_No it's your place—"_

"_Lily, I don't go back to sleep after those dreams, it's okay. A walk will do me good," he nodded to the two Evans women and walked out the door. _

"_What did he mean by that?" Petunia whispered, but Kakashi caught the words._

"_He was a…soldier in Vietnam," she probably scrunched her nose when she said soldier. _

"_But he's no older than you – oh my god!" Lily must have nodded her head for Petunia to make that exclamation. After that point he was too far away to pick up what they were saying. _

_Kakashi walked aimlessly for a little while, but then he moved into an alley and began to walk the wall. Once he was on the building's roof he began to run across the roofs like he was back in Konoha. It felt good to feel the wind whipping around him like that, to be up in the air and free like this. He loved the feeling of sailing from building to building via chakra boosts. _

_It was almost sunrise when he returned. He walked up the stairs lazily and came to his apartment. _

"_It's not like that Tunney," Lily laughed, "He's my friend!" Kakashi rapped at the door with his knuckles and heard two squeaks. Was he being talked about by the Evans sisters? That's awkward._

"_Is it alright if I come in?" He heard footsteps and then Lily yanked the door open._

"_Of course, 'Kashi, it's your place!" Lily shook her head in exasperation and dragged him inside. He chuckled and was soon sat down between the two Evans women. _

"_So…" Petunia began, she was smiling slightly, "Lily tells me you're her new friend. That you're the reason why she finally had enough sense to break up with that-with James," Petunia amended for her sister's sake who was glaring at her while she blushed._

"_Ah-ha-ha," Kakashi rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, "Well…that certainly wasn't my intention."_

_Petunia pursed her lips and gave him an appraising look, "Alright, I believe you, at least you're not pining after her like that Spinner's End boy," she wrinkled her nose and sat up more primly. _

"_Tunney! Not you too!" Lily cried in indignation._

"_Hmm?" she asked and looked at her sister with an eyebrow raised. _

"'_Kashi thinks Severus has a crush on me too," she shook her head in disbelief which was mimicked by her conversation partners._

"_She really can't see it," Kakashi stated with a shake of his head, "Mr. Snape was the one encouraging her to break up with James, I was trying to get her to work things out with him."_

_Petunia laughed slightly, "She's oblivious sometimes, and stubborn too," Petunia teased, her eyes were crinkling at the corners in her mirth. Lily pouted there for a moment before smiling._

"_I'm still not convinced," Lily stated before she stood up. "Petunia," she began her expression serious, "Will you help me move my things out? And …could I stay with you for a while?"_

_Petunia's face softened and she nodded her head. She stood up and hugged her sister loosely, "Of course Lilypad," She kissed her little sister on the forehead and before long the two Evans women were leaving his apartment. _

_He cleaned up the mugs and took a swig of his very cold green tea. He grimaced but chugged it down. He then began his work out._

* * *

A suivre

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Hope you all enjoyed it, please let me know if the f-bombs bumped this up to mature, I get really panicky about ratings but to me it doesn't seem _that_ mature; maybe it is. I didn't mean to offend anyone, I wanted to express just how pissed off Lily was and Kakashi's ptsd –cause you know he has to have it if not from the shinobi war than from his father's death.

Also, just so everyone knows, this is likely the last time I'm updating for a while, perhaps months. I'm taking 18 credits this semester and unless I'm procrastinating I likely won't have time to write anything outside of essays. - and yes I took "Lilypad" from "how I met your mother"


	4. Chapter 3: Reminisces and Travel Part 3

**Disclaimer:**I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

_**Full Summary:**_The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** Swearing, Severus, references to literature and music, Vernon & Petunia being tactless, and airports.

**A/N: **Okay, so procrastinating on my homework, curse you guys and your wonderful reviews! Why do you all have to give me good reviews that make me want to update when I should be doing linguistic homework and reading puritan narratives? All kidding aside, I do love all the reviews and that so many people have put this on "alert" and/or "favorite".

As you read this chapter keep in mind that I'm trying to make Vernon cannon, and you'll know what I mean by that when you get there. I do not hold those opinions but they sounded like something Vernon and even Petunia would say. Also I did my research since this is set in 1978 and 1991 and I feel like so many writers forget that. Okay, so enjoy ~ with much love, depressedchildren

* * *

Chapitre 3: Chapitre 3: Première amie, et meilleure amie

* * *

Kakashi grimaced; the Englishman next to him elbowed Kakashi in his sleep. Bastard… he shifted away from the offending body part and focused back on his thoughts. It was the only thing that made this terrifying and utterly dull form of travel bearable.

_It had been approximately a week since the break-up, and during said period of time Lily had met with Kakashi four times. Three of those times Petunia had accompanied her. They either went on a walk or got a coffee since Petunia was usually on a break from work. Today, however, Lily had invited Severus to go on a walk with them. _

_The three of them were currently walking along the same block that had the second-hand bookstore - the one Lily dragged him into nearly a month ago - was on. She was walking between Kakashi and Severus, her arms were looped into both of theirs and she had a pleased smile on her face. "My boys," she called them when they had first met up. Kakashi had looked over at Severus above Lily's head when she had said that and noted that Severus was also looking at him but with his eyebrow quirked. Well, neither of them may be comfortable with being called her "boys" but neither of them would be able to refute her. _

_So they walked together like that, Lily practically skipping between Kakashi and Severus. _

_Lily asked Severus how his graduate studies in chemistry were coming a long and he responded in clipped sentences, which made sense considering the man likely knew little about chemistry versus whatever chemistry stood for in the magical world. Kakashi looked off across the road as the two magical beings talked carefully. _

"_Oh!" Lily broke away from their "chemistry" conversation. Her eyes were alight with excitement, "the bookstore!" She then dragged the two men accompanying her into the second-hand store and quickly let go of Kakashi and dragged Severus toward the back. Kakashi didn't mind though, since he was already looking through the bookshelves, and this would give him an opportunity to spy on the two magical persons with them being none the wiser. _

"_Remember when we would read Carol together?" Lily asked with a laugh in her voice. Severus chuckled but nodded his head._

"_Remember when I read you "Babbity Rabbity"?" Severus asked softly in return with a slight smile, his beady eyes softened when he looked at her. Kakashi smiled to himself as he turned to look at another bookshelf and gave the two magical people a little privacy (considering they weren't talking about their wizard war), though he made sure to keep them in his peripherals. Poor Mr. Snape, he had it bad, Kakashi mused. _

_Lily was smiling softly in return and she nodded her head. Then her eyes began to gleam and she practically cackled, "Remember how we used to perform "The Walrus and the Carpenter" for my parents and your mum?" Her eyes flitted over to Kakashi and her grin spread until it practically split her face in two._

"_Yes but…" Severus also shifted his gaze over to Kakashi and he began to shake his head. He seemed to know what Lily was thinking, for what else could he be responding to?_

"_Oh come on Severus," she grabbed his hands and looked like she was about jump up and down, possibly from excitement. _

"_I doubt Mr. Hatake would find our rendition of a children's story interesting."  
_

"_Hmm?" Kakashi called as he turned away from the bookshelf he had been perusing, he feigned ignorance, "Did you call Mr. Snape," Severus shot him a look and Kakashi eye smiled. Kakashi decided he would refer to Severus as Mr. Snape from here on out, actually he had made the decision back when they first met at the coffee shop, but now was his chance to make good on said decision. It was amusing. Perhaps when Severus would call him Takashi then Kakashi would call him Severus, but int he meantime it would be a fun little game. _

_Lily was laughing while shaking her head, and mumbled something suspiciously like, "My boys…"_

_She was still smiling but it was less with her mouth and more with her eyes, "I'm trying to convince Severus that we should perform our "Walrus and the Carpenter" for you," Kakashi raised his eyebrows. _

"_What's that?"_

_Severus scowled and folded his arms over his chest, "In Louis Carol's _Through the Looking Glass_, the protagonist runs into Twiddle-dum and Twiddle-dee who recite a poem, or rather a story, to her about the walrus and the carpenter. It follows his motif of chess but that's beside the point"_

_Lily turned to look at Severus with her mouth open, "That's right, the fifteen oysters plus Alice makes sixteen which is the number of pawns in a chess set, then the Walrus is the bishop right?" Severus nodded and Lily was about to go on, but Severus stopped her. _

"_Mr. Hatake, I take it you have no clue what we're talking about," Kakashi nodded his head._

"_What's chess?"_

"_It's a strategic board game," Severus replied, his eyes flashed for a moment and the corners of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, "I'll have to teach you sometime," he stated. Kakashi had a feeling this "teaching" offer was more of an opportunity for the other male to humiliate and best him at something. _

"_Is it like Go?" Kakashi asked with his head tilted slightly, he was no Nara at the game but he still did brilliantly. He made the old men in tea shops go running for their money and he occasionally beat Hokage-sama at the game, granted Sandaime-sama usually had had a few when Kakashi won. _

"_Go?" Lily and Severus asked together. _

"_I guess not then, but I would be interested in hearing this story," Kakashi gave an eye-smile and leaned against the end of a bookcase. Lily turned to Severus with a triumphant smile. _

"_He wants to hear it, Severus," she practically sang and poked her friend in the chest, "So you have to do it with me." Severus gave a suffering sigh before he directed a half-hearted glare at Lily. _

"_If we must," he drawled and rolled his eyes. _

_They moved farther into the shop where there was a little alcove. They stood beside one another and looked at each other, Lily winked and they turned to face Kakashi. _

"_The Sun was shining on the sea," Severus began._

"_Shining with all his might," Lily interjected spreading her hands outwards like sun rays, Severus rolled his eyes but he was smiling. _

"_He did his very best to make"_

"_The billows smooth and bright –" Lily continued on, there was hardly even a beat between their words. She also elongated the word "smooth" to lessen the rhyming quality. _

"_And this was odd, because it was" Severus tilted his head inward at the same time Lily did and they both put on puzzled expressions. _

"_The middle of the night," Lily expressed this as a question. _

_Kakashi watched the two friends continue alternating lines, however Lily took on the voice of the Walrus while Severus voiced the Carpenter and the oysters. It was interesting and they manipulated the words so it did not come off as a poem but rather a story. However during the Walrus's speech to the oysters, Severus began to tense and a minute twitching started in his left arm. He even grabbed said arm for a moment but let go before Lily could see. He also seemed like he was in pain._

_Kakashi made sure what he was thinking did not show on his face, he did his best to look utterly absorbed in their little performance, but at the back of his mind Kakashi was connecting dots. He remembered, from the Death Eater he tortured, that they had a tattoo of a skull with a snake leaving its mouth on the underside of their forearm. No… he was making a meaningless connection. _

_However as soon as they finished their poem, Severus turned to Lily and folded his arms behind his back, "I'm afraid I must be going," he stated, and Kakashi noted that he was grasping tightly to his left arm, so tight his right hand's knuckles were turning white. Kakashi also noted that the man's jaw was tense and his eyes seemed hard. This was an expression Kakashi doubted he would ever purposely direct at Lily. Severus was clearly in pain.  
_

_Kakashi's eyes narrowed marginally but he quickly relaxed his facial muscles and gave Severus an eye smile, "Well thank you for the performance, it was very good," Severus nodded to them both and left before Lily could try to keep him there. _

"_Severus," Lily whispered after her friend while frowning, "What's the matter?" she asked the air where Severus had stood, Kakashi decided to remain silent. His instincts were telling him that Severus was hiding something, hiding his connection to the Death Eaters and Voldemort. _

_But what proof did Kakashi have that that was the case, beyond the man's sudden pain in his left arm. Kakashi knew that happened to followers, Voldemort would summon his Death Eaters and if they did not show up promptly they were hurt, it happened to the man he had tortured information out of. The Death Eater kept screaming about his "Mark" and "He's calling me, please, let me go!"_

"_Can you believe he just left like that?" Lily asked as she turned her attention to Kakashi, she was frowning. He could understand why. She was still trying to reconnect with her life long friend, even going back to doing things they did during their childhood to reestablish their bond.  
_

_Kakashi just eye-smiled and began to head out of the store, but then a book caught his attention and he went to buy it. Lily just walked beside him despondently. Kakashi thanked the store clerk and grabbed Lily's had to lead her out of the store. He sighed when she continued to look downcast. _

"_Perhaps he just remembered he had a commitment elsewhere but he didn't want to miss spending time with you," Kakashi suggested after the silence became uncomfortable, she sighed in response. _

_Kakashi sighed as well and looked around. One store caught his attention and he cocked his head to one side as he looked at it. "Lily?" he called and lightly nudged her in the side, "What type of store is that?" he asked as he pointed to a little shop that had large black disks hanging on display. _

"_That's a music store, you've never seen a record before?" her shock took her away from her depressing thoughts. She then was dragging Kakashi into the building. "Records play music," she stated as she moved farther into the store._

_She cast a glance back at Kakashi who was blinking dumbly. There was a way to capture music on these things? Kakashi supposed he had used a voice recorder before and the communication earpieces but… this was certainly puzzling to him. Why would anyone want to capture music when there were more important things to record, like your enemy countries' plans? In fact, what was so special about music? Also, why must it be on such a large, awkward, disc shaped thing? He examined one record carefully. It seemed frivolous and impractical.  
_

"_You do listen to music right?" Kakashi looked up at Lily with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but ended up closing it. He really didn't listen to music much at all, and when he went to the village festivals they mostly just had drums. He had never really listened to music. _

"_You don't listen to music?" Lily took his silence as affirmation. Her mouth hung open in surprise and her tone was incredulous. To Kakashi it appeared that she had seemingly forgotten about Severus's hasty exit. _

_Good, he had hoped to distract her from that. The two best friends were still on rocky ground, which was understandable considering that they reunited only a week ago. It also explained why Lily took Severus's exit like a rejection. They were both trying hard to develop as close of a relationship as they had before, which was likely why Severus agreed to perform that poem despite his obvious reluctance.  
_

"_During festivals we had drums playing but otherwise I haven't really been exposed to music," Lily stared at Kakashi in disbelief and blinked several times. She then turned on her heel and found an employee._

"_Excuse me," he heard her say, he was still some ways away from them but he had excellent hearing, "But my friend has never listened to music before," by this point Kakashi had caught up to them and he put on an affronted expression._

"_I have too, just festival drums," he looked down when they both gave him blank looks. _

"_I'll let you two use the record player," he led them two a strange contraption that had an metal "arm" with a needle at the end of it which pointed down. One of the black discs, like the ones from the display, was already resting on the contraption. Kakashi tried to read the label on the disc but the design on it was distracting him. _

"_Is this the new Rolling Stones that came out in June?" Lily asked, and the employee nodded his head adamantly with rather large smile on his face. He was lowering the arm with the needle down onto the black disc. _

_A steady beat began along with a melody. Soon a man began to sing but the words were not very clear to Kakashi. Lily was smiling and swaying to the beat of the music. She was moving her arms too. Eventually she began to step forward and back in time with the steady beat of the music. She laughed when she noticed Kakashi's bewildered expression._

"_Oh come on! How can you not dance to a beat like that? It's so smooth, do-do-do-do-doo, do-do-do-do-doo," she sang along with the record and Kakashi could not help but laugh in slight discomfort. _

_The employee was nodding his head to the music, and his eyes were closed. Some of the other shoppers in the store were also moving to the music if they were in hearing range. Lily laughed again and extended her arms out toward Kakashi. She was still "dancing." _

"_Just feel the beat and melody and move to it. It's fun, honest!" Kakashi grimaced and Lily laughed again. She shook her head at his reaction and turned in place. Then she stepped forward and back repeatedly, she had her arms loosely at her side as she moved to the music. _

"_Oh! Listen to the sax!" she exclaimed when a new instrument was introduced. The instrument gave short bursts of sound that followed the same tune as the melody, but it was in a slightly higher register. The "sax" went away after a few seconds and then another instrument came in that didn't sound like the sax or the other instruments in the song. "That's a harmonica," Lily noted and continued to dance to it. However the song quickly ended and a faster song began. _

"_Do you happen to have the Grateful Dead?" Lily asked the employee who still had his eyes closed as he listened to the album. "American Beauty?" Lily elaborated when she got the man's attention, "I've been looking for it but I haven't had much luck."_

"_I do, it's over there," the man stated and gestured toward one of the aisles. _

"_Great! I heard it was one of their best," Lily then grabbed Kakashi's arm and moved toward the aisle that had been pointed out. Once they got there, Lily began scanning the cardboard covers. _

"_So 'Kashi, any reactions so far?" Lily asked as she sifted through the records. _

"_Hmm?" Kakashi had his hands in his pockets. He didn't really have a reaction. It was certainly strange how Lily acted, though the other shop goers had reacted similarly. _

"_What did you think, 'Kashi?" Lily asked with a slight smile on her lips. She had her head turned toward him but tilted slightly as she looked up at him. "Like the Rolling Stones from what you heard?" they were now farther away from the music playing contraption so the music was less distinct, though he could certainly still hear it, but perhaps Lily couldn't?_

_Kakashi shrugged, he supposed there was an energetic and perhaps even attractive quality to the song he had heard first, but he still did not understand why she had begun to move so strangely. "By any chance, were you possessed back there?" Lily quirked an eyebrow and turned to fully face Kakashi._

"_What?" Lily asked with a confused smile. _

"_Mah, I just wondered if a spirit had possessed you to move so strangely in public." Lily's mouth fell open and she looked almost affronted however amusement still shown in her eyes. _

"_Takashi!" she exclaimed with her hands on her hips, "I was dancing, I told you that," she then began to laugh and she was shaking her head. She then pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes, but she was still smiling slightly. _

"_I'm just going to have to find music you can't help but start dancing to," she poked him in the chest before she turned back to the record albums. She had that determined look in her eye that reminded Kakashi of Kushina. _

"_I like a wide range of music, especially the more mellow stuff," she gave a cry of triumph and pulled back an album that had a multicolored rose on the cover, "Like this," she held it out for his inspection. He couldn't read what was written around the rose due to the font and bizarre coloring. "I wonder if this will get you dancing," she mused as she looked at the album in her hand._

"_I doubt it," she finally decided and then pulled on Kakashi's arm and moved to another aisle. "We'll have to try Van Morrison, maybe some jazz, and classical music. I wonder if you'll like that new music genre, punk, I think it's called. Oh, we can try James Brown too. I love dancing to him."_

_Kakashi briefly wondered what he had gotten himself into. _

Kakashi chuckled softly to himself at the memory. Lily had subjected him to hours of music, and the only reason they had left was because the shop had been closing. The employee who Lily had first talked to had been helping her find some kind of music Kakashi would dance to or admit he liked. They did not succeed, though Kakashi was thoroughly amused by Lily breaking out into dance when a song "spoke" to her. Watching her have what looked a like a seizure to James Brown's "Get up offa that thing" actually made him laugh until she grabbed him by the arms and spun him and tried to get him to dance with her.

If any of the albums he listened to had interested him, he supposed it would have been "Moondance" by Van Morrison. He still wasn't sure exactly what he liked about the album but it had a lot of variety and did not give him a headache like some of the jazz she made him listen to did. Perhaps he favored "Moondance" in particular because of the memories he now associated with it.

He couldn't help but smile softly before his expression fell and a tick formed under his eye. How was that fat man still elbowing him! Kakashi was practically plastered to the cold strangely plastic wall of the airplane.

He sighed in agitation and rubbed his face. He'd rather keep musing about Lily's attempts to get him to like music and the many painful hours they spent with her throwing different genres at him. Though any memory of her would be better than the present, especially the memory of the first time he cooked for her. Kakashi's smile came back to his face at the thought.

_The following months, Lily and Kakashi met regularly. Occasionally Petunia or Severus joined them but primarily it was the two of them. Kakashi had received orders to learn more about Voldemort's long term plans so he could not leave yet. However he was becoming increasingly concerned about his involvement with Lily. He finally had a friend again, a genuine friend that he happened to have lied to about his identity, and it seemed they were continually getting closer._

_They often met up for lunch, and talked about this or that, it was generally mundane and safe topics like books since music became a sore spot for Lily (she still had not found a type of music he liked). Of course they did occasionally get into arguments about books, such as: _

"_Mah, I just finished trilogy, kind of dull but the character development was decent." "Really? I guess I can see that, so much of the action was in the dialogue. Which book was your favorite, I loved the _Fellowship_ best!" "Eh… I don't care much for the Shire, so I'd have to go with _Two Towers._" "Of course you would, you are such a boy - it's just because of Helm's Deep isn't it?" "Well that too I suppose, but also Sam kicking ass against that giant spider, and Pippin growing a pair, and Gimli and Legolass becoming friends - you know, I liked that book best for a lot reasons when I think about it" "Ugh, but it was so painful to read, it was depressing! How could you like the Frodo and Sam part?" "Well Gollum was humanized on those stairs and you come across Faramir who is by far one of the best characters in the trilogy." "I suppose he's pretty awesome, not as awesome as Aragorn," "Mah, I beg to differ." …_

_However after a month Kakashi suggested he make lunch for them sometime, frankly he was annoyed with how quickly his stipend was disappearing from their frequent lunch rendezvous. So he made rice, steamed vegetables, miso broth, and some tilapia. He missed the fish he was used to eating but what did he have to complain about, it was fairly fresh and was of decent quality. _

_When Lily came inside, she looked down at the meal spread out on the coffee table and laughed a little as she sat down. _

"_No wonder you're so thin. This is so healthy!" she smiled at him and reached for her utensils but paused. Kakashi wanted to smack himself in the head.  
_

"_Ah, I didn't really invest in English eating utensils," Kakashi explained as he laughed sheepishly. He picked up his chopsticks and demonstrated how she should hold them. She copied him but she was obviously clumsy. "Itadakimas" he announced before he began to eat. She watched and after a while mimicked how he was eating. _

_Kakashi had tried using English silverware but it felt awkward in his hands for the most part, well not the spoon. It was just easier for him to use chopsticks, but he had been getting progressively better at using western eating utensils.  
_

_He paused and set his bowl down, "I had not really thought about eating utensils when I offered to make lunch," Kakashi stated, his sheepish smile present. He always thought of Obito when he made such an expression. It was an effort on his behalf to make expressions, to not be the drone he made himself become as a child after his father's death. _

"_No, it's okay," Lily gave him a genuine smile as she too set down her bowl. "Thank you for sharing some of your culture. I mean, I can't imagine just going to another country that has completely different customs from my own. It's certainly a different kind of bravery," _

"_Mah," Kakashi gave his eye smile and shrugged, "I'm sure you would do just as well. You adapted to this situation quickly," he indicated to their meal before he went on, "You also went off to that school knowing only one person, that was brave of you, and you even had opposition within your family," Lily gave a small smile and nodded in concession to his reasoning. _

"_I suppose," she paused and picked at the food a little before she smiled, "Why don't you tell me a little about your home town, wherever you consider your home?"_

"_Well…My village was a good size, not large like London, but larger than the surrounding villages. It was hidden in the forest too. As kids we would always hide in the trees and pretend we were…well for lack of a better term, ninja," Lily laughed gently at this and motioned for him to continue, "We had tigers and other animals to deal with on occasion but it wasn't so bad. My father was part of the town's militia, who took care of the tigers" Kakashi smiled softly and stared down at his food. _

_He should stop talking now, just end the conversation there, but a masochistic part of him didn't want to. Lily wanted to know about him and he wanted her to know him. They were friends weren't they? So she should know something personal about him, shouldn't she?_

"_He was the best there was. He was so compassionate too," stop talking, Kakashi told himself, but his mouth opened again." My mother died bringing me into the world so he raised me by himself…" Lily reached out a hand and set it over his hand, "He would put his comrades before the mission, which I was trained to never do, I was trained to believe such actions were dishonorable. I told him as much when he had chosen to save his comrades rather than complete the mission. His actions had consequences on the village…"Kakashi bowed his head and removed his hand from Lily's; he needed to stop talking but it was too late to stop now, it was all spilling out. "But he was right. You might be considered trash to break the rules but…to abandon your friends - your comrades - that makes you lower than trash._

"_I wish I knew that then…maybe father wouldn't have…" He trailed off and gave a bitter smile to Lily. "The village had been giving him shit and his own son wouldn't even stand by him," Kakashi shook his head in self-contempt. It hurt so much to think of how selfish and stupid he had been, of how cruel he was to his own flesh and blood. Yet, now that it was out and Lily understood the implications, he felt relieved. If he told a comrade they would look at him in disgust, either for what he had done to his father or for his regret over his actions depending on how highly they regarded the rules. Lily was a civilian, he anticipated her disgust, yet he dreaded she would pity him. _

"_Takashi, you were a kid, you were eight, and you said you had been trained. Kids just follow what they were told, or they act selfishly. Don't blame yourself" She had started to reach over the coffee table to place a hand on his shoulder. He shifted away from her outstretched arm. _

"_That mentality stuck with me and it caused my best friend to die," Kakashi shot back before he clenched his fists and bowed his head. He hadn't meant to say that but it blurted out of him. He tensed when she got up and tensed further when he felt her kneel beside him and wrap her arms around him. He didn't want anyone's pity, he'd rather have contempt. _

_Perhaps that was the reason why he had been saying this all to her, maybe it was a test of sorts – a way to gauge her reaction to the real him? He wanted to know if she would accept him once she heard his most shameful moments. The moments that scarred him mentally and defined him, Hatake Kakashi: father killer, friend slayer all because of his selfish, callous words and actions. _

"'_Kashi," she whispered and leaned her head against his shoulder. They remained that way for an indefinite time. _

"_When I was four…I had gotten so mad at my father, because…I don't even know. But then he fell down the stairs and broke his hip, because I had just lost control. I bet he had just taken a toy away or something or he had put me in the corner for being naughty, but… I hurt my own father in my anger…he could have died from that fall – broken his neck," Kakashi frowned; he didn't need this from her. Sympathy or empathy, it all equated to pity and she could never fully relate. _

"_I sent a boy to the hospital for a week once while trying to protect Severus from bullying, the only reason I wasn't expelled was because I had witnesses and the teachers knew I was a good student and wouldn't act unless provoked," Kakashi grit his teeth. "Then, one time I snuck into the school's kitchens and stole the faculty's alcohol so the girl's dormitory could have a party, and James and Sirius got blamed!" Lily gave a little laugh, "Oh! And I pranked James really good one year. I would switch his pens out with faulty ones that would leak ink onto him. He never knew who kept doing it and it always got him by surprise. Then once, I found him asleep in the common area and I wrote all over his face!" Kakashi couldn't help but give a short laugh at that. _

_Lily moved her head off his shoulder and stared at him, "Do you want to hear about how disastrous James's first date with me was? First, he takes me to this gaudy, love-dovey romantic place that I would have never stepped foot into in a million years. Then guess what! He can't even afford the meal and the only reason he got into that school was because of his family's money. He can't pay for the meal because he spent too much on pranks, so we end up going Dutch with me having to pay for the tip and the difference in his bill," Lily rolled her eyes in disgust. _

"_Going Dutch?" Kakashi questioned the new term. _

"_Splitting the bill or just paying for your meal," Lily explained before continuing on, "Our second date was almost as bad. He took me to this run down __**pub**__ that had the worst food ever! Then we went to a sports shop followed by a prank store. Sports are one thing I will never understand and he made me stand beside him as he talked for literally an hour with the store manager, while also bragging about his sports accomplishments. _

"_The prank store was just as sad, I appreciate a good prank as much as the next person, but the shop was pathetic. It was unrefined and unimaginative. I don't know how James managed to make brilliant pranks with those products. Oh, and some younger year accidentally subjected me to one of the pranks and I ended up being sick for the rest of the day," Kakashi grimaced but was still chuckling. _

"_He got better after that but I had been worried for a while there, and almost said "enough!" but obviously I didn't," Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head while she mumbled, "idiot" under her breath. _

_Lily paused and made Kakashi face her, which made him sober quickly. "Kakashi, I have nothing to say, literally nothing to say about what you've told me other than that you can't keep that weight on your shoulders for the rest of your life. You have to reconcile with what happened at some point and stop blaming yourself. You'll go crazy; I saw it happen to my grandpa. I don't think anything less of you, and in fact, I think it shows how strong of a person you are for owning up to what happened, and even if you're just barely carrying the weight, you still haven't crumpled beneath it," she had put her hands on his shoulder sometime in the middle of her speech when it looked like he was ready to leave. _

_Kakashi said nothing and though he wanted to yell at her, to tell her she knew nothing about being a solider, about being the cause of your friend's death…he couldn't. She didn't pity him, not really. She admitted she couldn't think of what to say, but she also showed concern for him. _

"_Takashi," she started seriously, her green eyes glinted for a moment with determination, "We're friends, alright?! We support each other, we accept each other, and we tell each other when we're being idiots. That's what friends are in my book," Kakashi sighed, she had a determination like Kushina-san – it was frightening. _

"_So!" Lily jumped to her feet and brushed off her pants, "Why don't you tell me more about your village?" she asked as she walked back around the coffee table, "You guys pretended to be ninjas?"_

_Kakashi chuckled, she wanted him to face his demons but she blew off the serious matters quickly, however he knew she did not forget about them nor did she want them to become some heavy secret between them. She accepted him. _

_He really had a friend again, and it was so unbelievably strange. He had comrades, men and woman he would put his life on the line for, but they weren't truly friends. He couldn't talk about this with them, even if they would empathize far better than this civilian witch who knew nothing about his real home. Lily was accepting and nonjudgmental about what he had told her. She amazed him and made him feel comfortable. _

_He had a friend for the first time since Obito – but then, was that really a friendship? It only lasted perhaps the half hour it took to find Rin after Obito knocked some sense into him, though Kakashi carried their friendship with him after his death. Perhaps Lily Evans was his first friend, his first __**true**__ friend._

He really wanted to kill the Englishman next to him. No matter how he positioned his body, Kakashi would be elbowed by the man. He also snored loudly and in an obnoxiously high register. He glared at the chair in front of him. He couldn't get out of his seat because the lard of a man took up the whole walking space.

He sighed and looked out the dark window. He missed Lily; he missed her so much now that he finally had time to think about it. He smiled as he thought about Petunia and Vernon's machinations; Kakashi wouldn't have been surprised if Lily had done a little manipulating too…

_What was even more disconcerting than his developing relationship with Lily was…well it was Petunia, who had been inviting him over to dinner when Vernon was over. The fiancés often looked at him in a peculiarly approving way. He felt like they were plotting something, something concerning him and Lily. And Lily…she was Lily: charming, intelligent, stubborn, brilliant, hot-tempered, and all around delightful. But she had a devious streak of which he had already caught glimpses. He could still remember the first dinner he had with the fianc__é_s.  


"_So, Ta-ka-shi," Vernon worked out his name slowly, there was a slight note of distaste for his foreign name, Kakashi could tell, "What brought you to the Great Ol' England?"_

_Kakashi set down the fork he had lifted to scoop up peas and looked a Vernon closely. He had a natural red pigmentation to his skin and Kakashi would not be surprised if he turned purple when he was angry. Where Petunia had too much neck, Vernon had too little. Hopefully any offspring they had would have an average neck then._

"_I came here to study business on an international scholarship. I figured the worldly experience would benefit me and add to my resume. Also business between our countries has been increasing and it is bound to continue this upward trend well after I graduate. It will also help me improve my grasp on the English language," _

_Vernon nodded his head a few times while he chewed the pot roast he had in his mouth. "Petunia told me you were a military man?" that was a question fishing for answers. Kakashi eye smiled and swallowed the bite of food he managed to put into his mouth while the man was chewing. _

"_I am, though during these times there isn't much need for the armed forces, so I need to invest in a future outside of the military." He began to scoop up more peas when Vernon asked another questions._

"_What branch are you in?" Kakashi sighed and set down his fork. _

"_Honestly?" He asked and received nods all around, "I'm in special operations, usually the time sensitive operations in politically sensitive territory." The table was silent for a moment. He didn't like lying and these questions were starting to bother him. He figured this might shut up Vernon for a little while._

"_Like espionage or –" Kakashi quickly shook his head though that was technically his job description as an ANBU operative. _

"_Unless gaining information from civilians on the area, and their opinions of political figures is considered espionage?" Kakashi asked; a smirk played on his lips. After confessing such a large part of his supposed background, he hoped for the questions to be less searching. _

_Vernon seemed to mull over what Kakashi said. "So you keep the peace, more like it? Kind of like a politician?" Kakashi nodded his head back in forth in an almost non-committal way. _

"_I suppose you have good morals then, and Japan's a capitalist country, right?" Vernon barked as he continued to eye Kakashi._

"_Yes sir, it is…or on its way," Kakashi gave a slight smirk again and it caused Vernon to bark with laughter. _

"_You're not too bad, but what's this I hear I about you being all emotionally supportive? You aren't one of them queers are you?" Lily and Petunia gave scandalized gasps. Petunia even thwacked her fiancé on his fleshy arm and cried out his name in chastisement. _

_Kakashi out right laughed, he directed a salacious smirk towards Vernon, "I certainly am not. I believe Lily remembers our conversation," Kakashi eye smiled and Lily flushed and covered her hands in her face. Apparently she did remember their conversation in the café after the Death Eater attack. _

"_Oh my god, seriously?" she peeked out from behind her hands, and then she seemed to come to a sudden realization, "all them were you civilian informants weren't they?"_

_Kakashi smiled shamelessly and nodded his head, "though occasionally I could only attain information from a male in the society which usually just called for a little alcohol or threatening," Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. _

"_Yes, you can't do the same for the women, you have to sleep with __**them**__," Kakashi laughed at Lily's dry tone. _

_"You should meet Jiraiya-senpai, he's a genius," though it felt awkward to tack on "senpai" instead of "sama", Kakashi was referring to the man as one of his experienced co-workers. _

"_A genius at what? Flirting?" Lily asked as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Vernon and Petunia looked slightly appalled yet fascinated with the turn of the conversation._

"_No!" Kakashi laughed having heard a few of the man's pickup lines, creative but ineffective and embarrassing. "He has the worst pickup lines. But he is a master of seduction so long as he doesn't __**use**__ those pickup lines… But mostly, he's a genius at information gathering. The networks and connections he has in the other nations are unfathomable - he's brilliant," Kakashi shook his head in admiration. That man's spy network was something to be envious of._

"_I suppose that's better," Lily sighed and shook her head again. "Really Vernon you had to ask that question?" Vernon bolstered himself up and nodded his head._

"_Well it's not normal for a man to be so supportive even in relationship things," Vernon paused and gave Kakashi a look, "unless of course he's aiming at something?" It was a conspiratorial look, or the man's attempt at one. _

"_Honestly I'm glad to have a friend again. Mine died in the war and I hadn't had much opportunity afterwards to make friends. It seems common sense to me to cheer up someone when they are down,"_

"_War?" Vernon asked in alarm. _

"_Vietnam dear, he was born there," Petunia explained with a gentle hand on her fiancé's forearm. _

"_North or south?" Lily and Petunia glared at Vernon for his tactlessness. _

"_Does it matter?" Kakashi asked with a sigh. He felt Lily's hand on his arm but Vernon still nodded despite the glares being directed at him from the Evans women, "My village was dragged into the war with no say. Our peaceful lives were uprooted and turned around. We, children, were made into spies and porters and soldiers if our parents had been claimed by it. Does it really matter if I was from the north or south, when in the end I was forced into the war with no choice but to participate?"_

_Vernon swallowed thickly and shook his head, "Excuse me that was a little tactless," Lily and Petunia were giving him "you think?!" looks while Kakashi only shrugged. _

"_I was removed from it when the war was over and Japan has become more like a home to me," Kakashi shrugged again, "Vernon, how did you and Petunia meet again?" the couple began to smile and Kakashi congratulated himself for making the correct social move there. He was sick of all of the attention, and though he had kept to his story thus far, who knew what questions Vernon would ask him next?_

"_Well…"Vernon smiled at Petunia who smiled back with just as much love as she was sent._

"_I am a secretary at the company Vernon is a sales representative for," Petunia began with a pleased blush covering her cheeks._

"_I saw her across the room one day and then we met by the water cooler where we began to talk," Vernon continued. "I finally asked Petunia out for fish and chips just down the way."_

"_Vernon is exactly the man I've always dreamed of," Petunia smiled back and kissed her fiancé on the cheek. _

_Really? Completely and horrifically normal, that was her dream man? Though Kakashi supposed having a witch in the family was difficult on her and she would want an escape into a world of normal. _

"_Well, why don't we start a game of Bridge after dinner and you can tell us more of your interests, hmm?" Petunia asked Kakashi after she finished up her plate. _

_While Lily helped her sister clear the table - having to tell Kakashi to "sit down and let us take care of it" – Kakashi caught snatches of their conversation while he was being interrogated by Vernon about his favorite sports team, which he explained he did not have one (that led to a rant on golf and English football teams). _

"_I like him. He might have some baggage but he is certainly a step up," Petunia spoke in a low voice that Kakashi could barely hear over the sound of Vernon and the water running. Perhaps he shouldn't be eavesdropping with his enhanced hearing if they were going to talk about him; but there was always the chance the sisters might talk about the Wizard War. _

"_Tunney!" Lily hissed_

"_Consider it Lily. He certainly has done well with Vernon, and I know he isn't the easiest man to handle, especially with a __**minority**__," _

"_Tunney!" _

"_Though I do have to admit he doesn't look too oriental,"_

"_Oh my god! Tunney listen to yourself. Also, he's my friend. So stop it."_

"_Uh-huh"_

"_He's a lot like Severus,"_

"_But attractive, well-built, with a better personality-"_

"_Petunia!" Lily's cry of indignation caused Vernon to jump in alarm, but Kakashi was on his feet and moving toward the kitchen._

"_Is everything alright?" Kakashi had to refrain from smirking when he heard a plate or class make a thunk as it fell into the sink. _

"_Oh I'm just teasing Lily about when she was a little girl," Petunia stated, her lie well hidden by the smile in her voice. Lily sighed. _

"_Alright then," Kakashi stated cheerfully with an eye smile. He moved to sit back down across for Vernon who had an after dinner drink in his hand._

"_So…Takashi…" the way he was taking his time made Kakashi almost dread what his question would be, "You're fine young man, have a girlfriend here or back home?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow._

"_I've never had a girlfriend, I figure when I get back I might consider looking for one and perhaps settling down. Or I may wait a decade; since I can still technically be assigned a mission without a second's notice should my skills be needed,"_

"_Ah…" Vernon frowned slightly, "Well a man has to do what a man has to do I suppose," He raised his glass slightly and took a sip. Kakashi had declined a drink when Vernon offered. Kakashi had a slight alcohol intolerance, which wasn't uncommon in the Elemental Lands, but it seemed to be uncommon in London. _

"_What if you do get married before that decade's passed?"_

"_Well it would be long distance at times, and there is always the slight possibility something could go horribly wrong and the mission will turn hostile. Not to mention that she might have to move a lot if I end up being sent to different bases," He had a feeling as to why Vernon was asking all these questions. That was a little unsettling._

"_So you were an orphan, did you have a father figure growing up at all?" Kakashi sighed._

"_I wasn't an orphan until age eight, but afterwards I had a mentor who was like an older brother, I suppose," Kakashi shrugged and by this time the woman had returned. He hadn't caught what they talked about this time since he was focused on answering Vernon's questions. _

_Petunia began dealing and quickly explained the game. After a few turns Vernon spoke up._

"_What was this mentor like?" this caught Lily's attention._

"_He was a genius tactician; he was compassionate to the other villagers but ruthless with his enemy. He would protect his precious people with all he had. He could be so cheerful but as soon as danger was near he became serious. He was a natural born leader and he inspired loyalty in others. He-he was just amazing and brilliant," Kakashi shook his head in awe again. Minato-sensei…_

"_What was his name?" Kakashi blinked and gave a slight smile._

"_Minato, he protected our village from everyone, __**everyone**__," Kakashi stated before Vernon could demean his teacher for being a communist or something like that. Why was it bad in this country or other countries to talk about communism, not that Kakashi agreed with that system of government beyond the dictatorship like aspect. He found the Elemental Land's form of government was a superior system but was specific to their shinobi-centric lifestyles. They needed a military head in charge but they also needed to keep in mind the needs of the civilian, hence the council. _

"_He sounds like a great guy," Lily laid her hand on Kakashi's arm, she must have understood he was gone. _

_They continued with the game, it was strange and Kakashi preferred more strategic games like Go. He was doing somewhat well but he was certainly not in the lead. _

"_Hey, 'Kashi?"Lily called for his attention, "Do you think you can teach me self-defense?"_

"_Don't you already know it?" Lily looked confused so Kakashi elaborated, "The first time we met you told me you could have handled him," _

_Lily blushed slightly, "I have mace and pocket knife, if I lose either one I would be a sitting duck," Lily explained sheepishly, "I also was a little annoyed to have to be saved like some damsel in distress."_

"_What's this now? You saved Lily from something?" Vernon asked as he looked back down at his hand since it was his turn._

"_Mah, it was just a mugger and he had surprise on Lily," Kakashi eye smiled and rubbed the back of his head._

_Petunia looked worried and Lily just sighed, "Don't worry Tunney, I __**can **__take care of myself but I don't want to be dependent on objects to defend myself," Kakashi and Petunia nodded in understanding, Vernon was focusing on playing his hand._

_She didn't want to be tied to a wand lest the situation make her wand inaccessible. "I see," Kakashi nodded his head, "I don't know why I shouldn't be able to teach, but I won't make it easy on you," Kakashi eye smiled and noted that Lily had a fire in her eyes; a fire of determination and excitement._

* * *

_A suivre_

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**A/N:** Again, the comments of Vernon and Petunia were meant to be cannon to their character, I do not have those opinions or beliefs. Also, sorry for all of those really random references to literature and music. So I don't listen to Grateful Dead or Rolling Stones but I know those were popular bands back then. I also tried to describe Lily's dancing and it might have come off as awkward especially since I couldn't use terms like "two-step" since Kakashi wouldn't know them. I attempted to describe Lily's dancing like how fifty and forty year-olds-dance to 70's & 80's music (which I love dancing to!) Oh and the Rolling Stone's song was the first one on the "some girls" album.

I also couldn't think of any music Kakashi would listen to, it doesn't seem in his character and I the only thing close to music I can think of in Naruto is B's attempts at rap. I don't know, but I listened to the "moondance" album and as I was listening to it, it kind of made me think of Kakashi, like maybe he _might_ listen to this because it's chill and there are few little quirky parts to it. But really it was so difficult to think of music he would like. _  
_

Okay, but for real, I probably won't update for a while. Maybe in March unless I have too much homework to do over break. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the update! ~ With love, depressedchildren


	5. Chapter 4: Reminisces and Travel Part 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** Over use of term "death-trap" and "awkward", swearing, Severus, fighting, death, and airports

**A/N:** Happy early Valentines Days! This is a super long chapter so don't expect anything for at least a month because I actually have to write more material. Again, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites.~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

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_**Chapitre 4: Les jeux nous jouons**_

* * *

Kakashi sighed for the umpteenth time and began to glare at the ceiling. He didn't like the fat Englishman beside him, he was sick of getting jabbed in the side. He went over his plan briefly to calm himself down before he murdered the man.

Once he arrived in England he would check the London apartment, then his old apartment, then Petunia's old apartment, then Lily's old family home, then Petunia's new home, then…hang around the red telephone booth and see if he could hear anything about Evans, or Snape, or Potter. Then maybe he'd try Diagon Alley - he thought he remembered where the entrance was from the time he spied on the magical community. Then he supposed he could always try King's Cross, it would be September first about a day after he landed, and Lily may have had a child. … That was not the most pleasant thought.

Thinking over his plan calmed him down enough to not kill the man beside him, even if he felt slightly uncomfortable about Lily having a child old enough to go to Hogwarts. It shouldn't be so unthinkable, most civilians in Konoha had children when young and shinobi had children when they could. Kurenai and Asuma had had a child and they were approximately his age. He grimaced now that he was thinking of the baby Sarutobi. Poor kid would be fatherless, but at least the kid had Shikamaru, like Kakashi had had Minato-sensei.

He rubbed his face and exhaled in irritation. No, these thoughts were depressing, he needed to stop it. Besides it really shouldn't bother him that Lily had a child, it should be completely reasonable and natural. Gods! Lily had been over the moon when she found out she would be an aunt, and he had overheard the Evans sisters talking about children. He knew Lily wanted them, so of course she likely had a child. He really needed to stop that train of thought.

It was better to just think back to a better and happier time. When children of close comrades weren't fatherless and there was no possibility of Lily having a child. Yes, the past sounded good, much better than his current thoughts.

_Kakashi looked up at the building in front of him. He double checked that he was on the right street and the building was the right number before he entered the lobby area. His sight immediately locked onto a blonde woman carrying a box toward the elevator._

"_Petunia," he called and jogged toward her, seeing as she had stopped at his call and had turned around. She smiled and nodded her head in greeting. _

"_Takashi," she greeted verbally, "I'm glad you made it, this is the last box, unfortunately," she shifted it uncomfortably in her arms, and Kakashi reached out his arms as a nonverbal offer to take the box off her hands. She smiled and quickly passed the box off to him. She then shook out her arms._

"_Thank you," she paused then moved toward the elevator where she pressed a button. "She's on the fifth floor, and there are so many different keys needed for the stairway," Petunia explained as she waited for the elevator. He had to hand it to the woman for guessing he was going to suggest taking the stairs, perhaps Lily told the woman about his preference for stairs. Lily usually complained about that when they went somewhere that had an elevator and he chose the stairs. He blinked a few times when he realized Petunia was speaking again. _

"_How were your classes today? What are you taking again?" Petunia asked with her arms folded in front of her chest._

"_Oh, my classes were fine. I'm just taking a few business ethics classes and an international relations course," Petunia nodded her head and hummed. She looked up at the illuminated buttons that told one where the elevator was in its journey._

_Kakashi had spent the day in Diagon Alley where he picked up bits and pieces about the war. He had disguised himself as a stray cat when he got to the Leaky Cauldron and had followed a family into the Alley. He certainly had learned an awful lot about the natives' views on Voldemort and his band of Death Eaters, but it ultimately told him little of whether his country should intervene. _

"_And how has self-defense been going?" Petunia asked. She had a very slight smile on her face and her eyes were practically dancing with what could only be amusement. She was giving him her full attention, and rather than being a show of politeness, Kakashi got the impression she was going to be watching his reactions very carefully._

"_She's a very good student, she picks up the exercises and moves easily," Petunia simply raised an eyebrow at his response and turned back toward the elevator which now opened. He noticed she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye, as if she expected more or something else. _

_A few weeks back Kakashi and Lily had started self-defense training. Lily would come by his place after he was done with "classes," and she was done with her witch things. She had been clumsy at first but her determination and natural ability to pick up new skills allowed her to improve quickly. She even began going on runs with Kakashi and could keep up with his jog, granted she was running about as fast as she could to keep up with him. _

_The only real glitch in it all was, and perhaps that was why Petunia was eying him so carefully, was - well…Lily was a lovely woman. He would not deny that, in fact he would be delusional to deny her beauty. But she wore these shorts that showed off her legs and a tight fitting shirt during the sessions and frankly, Kakashi was doing his best to deny any attraction. He also did his best to be oblivious to her occasional stare during the sessions. She was a quick learner though, and if not for his background he would have ended up bruised and battered after several sessions. _

_Kakashi knew the sisters had become closer than ever in the last few months, in fact they had been living together since Lily broke up with James. He had already overheard them talking about him several times now, so he wondered if the sisters were plotting something. Lily didn't seem like the kind to wear such…flirtatious clothing, perhaps Petunia had encouraged to wear them? Granted, Kakashi did not know what she normally wore for working out, and really the clothes weren't that suggestive (compared to many of the kunoichi Kakashi knew), but for Lily they were. She seldom showed that much skin when they were together, so it was alarming, and made him try to see "underneath the underneath." _

_It was just that he was comfortable being friends, but he could feel a tension building between them. A tension that he was familiar with from the many times he seduced women to gain information. There had been flashes of the tension prior to the lessons, of course, but since the lessons started it had been on an incline. Kakashi did truly enjoy Lily's company and he hated to lose that because he simply could not develop __**that**__ kind of relationship with her. It was, understandably, beyond frustrating._

_He found that sometimes Lily would manage to pin him, mostly because he let her, but then her face would be suddenly very close and all he could focus on were her lips. Then when it was reversed, she would be panting and her hair would be sticking to her face in this adorable yet sexy way. And no matter how many times he told his imagination and libido "NO!" they still went straight to the bedroom. He generally managed to remove himself from the situation without embarrassment or attracting her attention to the fact that he was uncomfortable. But the tension was still there, slowly growing and fester. It was annoying. _

_Kakashi really wouldn't be surprised if the Evans women talked about the self-defense sessions and the mounting sexual tension. Petunia's actions would certainly be explained if that was the case. However, the fact of the matter was: Kakashi liked having Lily as a friend, he wasn't ready for more than that, and he couldn't allow something more to even happen. _

_All of these thoughts whirled through his mind as Kakashi entered the elevator after Petunia. When he turned around inside of the metallic, moving coffin, he recognized someone entering the lobby. Sharp beady eyes locked with his and Kakashi quickly told Petunia to hold the elevator. _

_She looked at him in confusion but then her eyes alighted upon Severus and she scowled; however, she still kept the elevator door from closing. The man was nearly at the elevator when she acknowledged him._

_"Snape," Petunia greeted when Severus stepped into the elevator. She looked down her nose at him like he was some disgusting insect._

"_Evans," Severus greeted in return with his beady eyes narrowed in contempt. For the wizard's part, he looked like Petunia was some piece of refuse that had magically appeared to ruin his day by covering his shoes. _

_Yep, this was going to be one horrifically awkward elevator ride; if he wasn't holding a box, Kakashi would be pinching the bridge of his nose. So besides elevators being a death trap and an excellent way to bottleneck your enemies, it also was a sea of awkward when two people were inside one and hated each other immensely. _

_Kakashi just looked anywhere but at the two in front of him while he continued to hold the box. He really needed organize his thoughts too. First he had to put all lingering thoughts of Lily being attractive out of his mind, right now. He could not be thinking that with Severus around, whom, for all Kakashi knew, could read his mind – he still wasn't sure what the hell the man had done to him that day in the café. Second, he needed to not project how uncomfortable he was with the situation, because both of the other occupants would use it to their own purposes (Petunia assuming he and Severus had a rivalry over Lily's affections – a wrong but embarrassing assumption - and Severus knowing he hated small, confined, moving spaces – very accurate and exploitable assumption)._

"_Do you need help with that box Mr. Hatake?" Severus asked, and Kakashi refrained from smirking. Oh the games of masculinity we play, Kakashi mused. He really did not want to play these petty, little games of power and manliness; however, today he felt like messing with Severus, if only to make sure the wizard would not exploit his fear of these mechanical death traps. _

"_Why thank you Mr. Snape," he paused just long enough for the man to think he would hand over the box, "However it is not that heavy so I see no reason to burden you," he eye-smiled and was very pleased to note the tightening in Severus's jaw. _

_Kakashi truly had no qualms with handing over the box to do away with the masculine competition slowly forming between them, but it would be amusing and face-saving. Kakashi did almost miss the pathetic competitions Gai tried to make with him, and in away, Severus could almost be a stand in for Gai. … … … No, that was terrible idea. How could he miss __**Gai**__ of all people, and why would he want to find another person to constantly challenge him. NO! Worst idea ever!_

_Besides, their personalities were nothing alike and Severus was much more intelligent than Gai could ever hope to be. Perhaps Kakashi and Severus could have intellectual duels, which would be entertaining… NO! He had to stop thinking along those lines. He was finally given a reprieve from persistent and pathetic challenges, which really were just shows at masculinity and shinobi aptitude. He did not need that in his life, in any form. So he really needed to stop thinking about it. _

_Thankfully, Petunia's muffled laughter forced Kakashi from his thoughts; however he did not like the amusement dancing in her eyes. _

"_So…" Kakashi began as the silence became heavier, "You're also helping Lily get settled into her new place?" _

"_Yes," Severus began and looked away from Kakashi. _

_Petunia was sneering again, "Well we could have used the help earlier when we were moving boxes and beds around," Petunia snapped. _

"_I had a prior engagement I could not leave," as Severus said this he moved his left arm behind his back in an almost nervous gesture. Kakashi reigned in his reaction and just gave an eye-smile to the two._

"_Mah, no need to get at each other's throats," Kakashi tried to placate. He had a picture of Minato-sensei in his mind talking to a younger him and Obito; Kakashi hoped he had portrayed the same expression and tone. "Though I too am sorry for not being able to help with the moving," Kakashi directed this at Petunia who instantly began to smile. _

"_Oh don't worry Takashi, I know you had classes to attend." The double standard; Kakashi mused before he briefly wondered if there was a measuring system or unit for how uncomfortable something was, for there were certainly copious amounts of uncomfortable in the elevator. _

_Severus was currently glaring at Kakashi with such intensity that the jounin felt certain he should be on fire. With a sigh, Kakashi turned to face the dour man and stared at him with his best bored expression. His eyes were half-mast and he slumped slightly where he stood. Hopefully his change in expression and posture would show just how unimpressed he was by the wizard's dark look. _

_Petunia burst out laughing but quickly hid it behind her hand. Kakashi and Severus then directed their attention to Petunia, but neither of them changed their expressions. _

"_Oh! Look at that! Lily's floor," Petunia practically ran out of the elevator. Severus was close at her heels and looked like he was trying to bore holes into her back with his glare. Kakashi chuckled to himself and walked casually out of the death trap. He was undeniably relieved to be out of the awkward situation._

_He could hear Lily greeting Severus as he continued to walk down the hall in the direction he two civilians went. As he drew nearer to Lily's flat, he could hear some soft music drifting out into the hall; however, it wasn't one of the albums she subjected him to that one dreadful day, but the style of the music was familiar. _

_By the time he was standing in her doorway, he could watch the two childhood friends parting from their hug. Lily then turned to greet Kakashi with a wide smile. _

"_I'm glad you could make it too," she took the box in his arms and set it down behind her before she gave him a hug. Kakashi hesitantly returned the hug but quickly parted from her embrace. _

"_Lily, what in the name of" Severus stopped himself from saying something but quickly continued on, "What are you listening to?" _

_Lily's expression fell immediately. She glared at Petunia and then Severus with her hands on her hips. "How can none of you like the Grateful Dead?!" she gave a sigh of exasperation and hurried over to the record player. She hastily pulled up the arm and the music came to an abrupt halt. _

"_The Grateful what now?" Severus asked with his eyebrow quirked. _

"_A drug addicted band with no musical talent," Petunia intoned with her arms folded over her chest and her lips pursed._

"_Mah, you two have something in common," Kakashi stated with an eye-smile as he purposely antagonizing the two for the sheer amusement it brought him. Their offended gasps and spluttering were music to his ears. Lily tried to muffle her laughter behind her hand but she failed. _

_Severus was the first to regain his composer. He turned to Lily with a neutral expression, "Please tell me you still listen to Brahms and Vivaldi?"_

"_Of course I do, Severus," Lily replied softly, she had sobered considerably but a slight smile still played on her lips and her eyes shone with laughter. She turned toward a cardboard box beside the record player and sifted through album jackets for a moment. _

"_Voil__à__!" Lily spun the jacket between her index fingers before she took a firm hold on the cardboard cover and pulled out another record. _

_Music quickly filled the air, but Kakashi paid it no mind. Severus had his eyes closed for a moment and a smile was on his lips as he listened to the song. Really, Kakashi did not understand what was so fascinating about this noise or any of the noise Lily had subjected him to. _

"_Better?" Lily asked teasingly with a mock glare on her face._

"_Much," Severus replied and opened his eyes to smile at Lily._

"_I sadly have to agree with you, this is much better," Petunia sighed before she motioned Kakashi to come over to her. She turned to one of the many boxes scattered around the room. _

"_This goes in the kitchen and dining area, through there," she jerked her head to an open doorway, however Kakashi saw no hinges so perhaps it was just a door opening. Kakashi picked up the box and heard the tinkling of glass. With care he quickly moved into the other room. _

_It was a small area with some counter and storage space. The stove, and fridge were at opposite corners of the designated kitchen space, and a table already staked out the "dining area." Kakashi set the box down on the table and noted that Petunia was behind him carrying another box. In total, the room now held five boxes. _

"_Alright, we're in charge of the kitchen, those two will be tackling the living room," Peutnia set the box down and had her hands on her hips. "Knowing Lily, she'll want the kitchen to be set up like it was at Mum and Dad's," Petunia muttered to herself as she looked at the various boxes in the room._

_Loud laughter suddenly rang from the other room and Kakashi could not help but investigate. Petunia already had her head poked outside of the kitchen doorway anyways._

_Lily was on the floor laughing and Severus was supporting himself against some haphazardly stacked boxes. One of Severus's arms was wrapped around his stomach which was shaking in his laughter while the other was cradling his head as he shook it back and forth. _

"_Do I want to know?" Petunia asked with a frown marring her severe features. Lily shakily stood but she could not stop laughing. _

"_You cannot waltz," Lily managed to get out through her laughter. She had a finger pointed accusingly at her childhood friend._

"_No, Lily, you simply can't follow," Severus argued, his eyes were shinning with amusement and he was smiling slightly. _

_Lily's eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together, that was her 'I accept your challenge' look. Kakashi quickly turned to move back into the kitchen but it was too late._

"'_Kashi, get in here," Kakashi tried to pretend he didn't hear her, but then Petunia had a hold on his arm and was dragging him into the other room._

"_No," Kakashi declined as soon as Lily opened her mouth._

"_You didn't even hear what I was going to say!" she was more amused than hurt or angry._

"_You are going to try to prove Mr. Snape wrong and show him that you can follow, whatever that means, and I have a sinking suspicion that is a dancing term and I will have to be involved," Kakashi had his arms folded over his chest. _

_Lily practically pouted and then gave a half-hearted glare, "Very well, Mister," she poked Kakashi in the chest, "you got me," She paused and a mischievous smile began to slowly spread across her face, "but you see…you have no say in the matter." Kakashi felt himself take a step backwards at her pleased but determined look. It was a Kushina look that meant he really would have no say. _

"_Lily, Mr. Hatake clearly -" Petunia quickly cut off Severus._

"_Oh what do you have to worry about, he's never danced before!" Petunia shot back, which caused the man to flush slightly and look away. The implication was clear to all of them, well, except for Lily who was still in denial. _

"_Tunney!" Lily called back but then grabbed Kakashi's arms and positioned them for him. There was no way to get out of this but running away, and though he liked solving many of his problems that way; he learned that some situations just weren't worth it, especially if there was certainty he was going to face the situation again. If he ran away now he would keep being pushed back into the same situation, it was better to take the hit now._

"_Now, we're going to move in a box shape. So you take a step forward with your left foot, and then bring your right foot hip distance apart and parallel to your left foot. Then bring your left foot next to your right one," Kakashi sighed but did as she told him. Her smile practically split her face in two. "Now you'll complete the square by stepping back with your right foot, and then bring your left foot hip width apart and parallel to your right one. Bring your feet together like you did before," He did the motions as she said them. _

"_You realize you're back leading that?" Severus pointed out, "And that did not go to the beat, and that was not even half the speed it should be?"_

_Lily gave him a mock glare but Petunia was glaring at him fully, "That's what teaching requires sometimes," Petunia stated. "I don't see you assisting Lily with instructing him." Severus just glared back at her. _

"_Really can you two not argue for one minute?" Lily asked in exasperation but then focused on instructing Kakashi. It was strange and the timing did not make sense to him. But then he listened to the noise that was still playing and he could pick out the "beat" everyone kept mentioning. After that, everything Lily was telling him became clear. This "waltz" had an almost lilting quality to it. _

_He began to make the box on his own and Lily laughed a little. "You got it!" she exclaimed and Kakashi noted Severus was glowering at him. _

"_Am I back leading now?" Lily asked smartly over her shoulder. _

"_No, you're not," Severus drawled and when Lily turned her attention back to Kakashi, the wizard resumed his glaring at the jounin. _

_Kakashi separated from her, "This does not count, you realize." _

_Lily seemed confused for a moment but then she crossed her hands over her chest, "Oh come on! You danced to that song, it does too count!"_

"_You forced me to, just like with that Brown song," Kakashi refuted, he couldn't help the marginal smile spreading across his face at her annoyed expression. _

"_Fine, it doesn't count," she stated evenly, and stood up on her toes to get as close as she could get to being in Kakashi's face. "But I have not given up," she poked him in the chest before she went back onto the heels of her feet. _

_Severus and Petunia were both staring at them in bewilderment. Lily sighed and re-crossed her arms over her chest, "'Kashi is weird and doesn't like any kind of, and won't dance to any kind either." Lily turned away from him in exasperation and began to mumble, "Won't even dance to James Brown." _

_Kakashi shrugged and eye-smiled, "Anyways," he turned around and gestured for Petunia to follow him, "We have a kitchen to unpack." Petunia stared after him for a moment before following him. _

_Once they were in the kitchen Petunia opened one of the boxes and looked down at it for a moment before turning back to Kakashi, "You really don't listen to music?"_

_Kakashi's head dropped at the question and sighed heavily before he turned and looked at Petunia, "Yes, I don't care for music, because frankly, I don't see the point in it." _

_Petunia's mouth fell open and she blinked at him a few times, "N-No point? It's a mark of human creativity and it activates all sorts of different parts of your brain! We used music when our grandmother developed Alzheimer's and it helped her remember things," Petunia had spread her arms out when she talked about her grandmother but now they fell limply to her sides and she sighed. _

"_Never mind," she looked down at the box she opened, "I guess it's not for everyone," she then picked up a pan despondently. Kakashi grimaced._

_He inferred that the grandmother was dead or close to being dead, and that this Alzheimer's was an illness of some sort that affected memory. Then it clicked. If the grandmother couldn't remember things and like many illnesses it grew worse with time, she probably came to the point where she couldn't remember her family or where she was, and what if she forgot basic functions – like breathing. _

"_May I ask how old she was?" Kakashi asked as he began to unwrap glasses from the newspaper that cushioned them in the box. The silence, especially having caused it, was going to eat at him. He ought to make some amends, at least, for drudging up that topic. He hated when it happened to him. _

"_She's eighty now, but…" Petunia looked away again and pressed her lips tightly together, "The signs for Alzheimer's began showing up when she was sixty-eight, however, now she hardly recognizes us," Petunia set down the pan in her hand and rubbed her face, "She's too young."_

_Kakashi grimaced again and reached out a tentative hand to squeeze her shoulder. The Hokage, who was getting close to sixty, was considered old. Not many lived as long as he, especially not Kages, and if any civilians lived past eighty they were celebrated. _

"_In my home village," Kakashi began in a whisper, "it was fortunate to live past fifty."_

_Petunia looked at him in surprise, but Kakashi wasn't making a complete lie. With all of the fighting and the majority of the citizens having deadly careers, the __**average**__ life expectancy was fifty. Traveling merchants, ninja, and bandits had the shortest lives and they comprised the majority of Elemental Lands' population. Then one had to consider the impoverished nations that didn't have the same resources as the other nations, thus had lower life expectancies - not to that mention there was typically a lot of fighting over those territories by mob bosses, which also added to life expectancies. _

"_Really?" Petunia asked quietly before she picked up the pan again, "I guess by your standards she's lived a long life?" Petunia looked away, as if in shame. _

"_But whenever someone's dying, we always think they're too young. The other orphans, they were eight, nine, ten," Kakashi paused, "and my mentor, he was barely thirty, yet he was also considered too young to have died," Kakashi fiddled with the newspaper for a moment. Those ages were probably shocking to Petunia, but the only person he could think of that had reached an exceptionally old age was Uzumaki Mitto. "Once, a woman in our village lived past one-hundred, and when she died she was still considered too young."_

_Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I wasn't trying to belittle you in any way, Petunia. Because, coming from someone that has seen a lot of death, all of its victims are too young. But every year lived is a miracle to me," and it was, without a doubt. _

_He didn't expect to live past thirty or even close to thirty - not with his career choice. But in the Elemental Lands, people did view each year lived as a miracle. Birthdays were more important and dreaded – if you were the last alive from your genin cell – than any other event, even the New Year, which collectively is important because their village/nation had survived another year. _

_Petunia was look at him with an unreadable expression, however Kakashi deduced it was more positive than negative. If anything, she seemed to be thinking._

_Kakashi finished unwrapping the glasses, and put all of the newspaper back into the box, he looked over at Petunia who seemed just about done processing what he said. "So… where do things go?"_

_Petunia blinked a few times, before jumping into their task. She was certainly bossy, and her sharp voice had him ducking at times when he was about to place the wrong dish into the wrong cabinet. He did periodically ask Petunia about this grandmother; having never had one, he was curious. He wondered if all grandmothers were like the one Petunia described to him._

"_She would always sit in her rocking chair and sing when we came over – the spices go over there, Takashi."_

"_She made the best biscuits. Lily and I could eat a whole batch by ourselves! Oh, Takashi, can you grab that pasta pot for me? – Yes, over there on the table!"_

"_Her favorite music was opera, fifteenth century to be exact. Oh! And her German! She made that hacking language sound beautiful. Same with her French, no croaking from her, just pure music – Takashi, could you close that cabinet before one of us runs into it?"_

"_Grandma would knit the most wonderful jumpers for us. Takashi, __**please**__ close the cabinet doors, I almost walked right into that one!"_

"_Have you seen the colander? I remember packing it. … Oh! There it is. Now, you should have just seen Grandma's embroidery. I have a few handkerchiefs she made, and this wonderful dishtowel she embroidered. They are just stunning pieces of work."_

_By the time they finished unpacking all the boxes in the kitchen, Kakashi was ready to murderer something. Gods! Could that woman not go __**one**__ minute without ordering him around?! Was Lily secretly like this? Gods he hoped not._

_Kakashi moved out into the living room, which was surprisingly finished considering boxes had covered half of the space, he suspected magic had been involved. That was probably why he was stuck with Petunia, besides the other obvious reasons; like Severus and Petunia not being able to stand each other's presence, and an Evans woman needing to be present to make sure things were put in their proper places. _

_The two friends were sorting through one last box that seemed to contain paintings and posters. Kakashi used a little chakra to further enhance his hearing, so that he could catch what the two magical beings were saying while he pretended to examine the place. Petunia had sat herself down in a large, comfy looking chair with a contented sigh. _

"_Severus, are you positive?  
_

"_I can't reveal my sources Lily - the House Code and all - but I can promise you the information is reliable."_

"_But two days?"_

"_Yes, in two days You-Know-Who is meeting with a werewolf pack to gain their support." _

"_Okay, I'm rested up now!" Kakasshi wanted to curse when Petunia shot up from her seat and dusted off her pants, "Do any of these go in the kitchen, Lily?" she was now beside the two magical beings who had quickly finished their conversation. _

_Damn it! But at least he had some information. A Death Eater meeting in two days, the only problem was when exactly, and where. Surely Voldemort, or You-Know-Who as the scared wizarding population called him, would tell potential supporters his long term plans? Well, once they came aboard he supposed, it would be foolish to tell all his plans and then have the group decline. Though Kakashi supposed Voldemort could just kill them all afterwards. That seemed within his character. _

"_Hmm? You guys are already finished?" Lily was also standing up, "That's great!" She then turned around and looked at the posters and paintings scattered about. She picked up one poster and handed it to Petunia, "That can go in the kitchen." She then began to move paintings and posters here and there, but she didn't put them up. Instead, they leaned against the wall from their position on the floor. _

"_Say, it's not too late, why don't I make my wonderful helpers dinner, hmm?" Lily asked after checking the time. Petunia had come back into the room by this time, and she began to nod her head._

"_That's a great idea Lily. I planned to take you grocery shopping when we were finished anyways, and now you can also make your first big meal in your new apartment," Petunia stated with a smile on her face as she grabbed Lily's hands. _

_As the sisters began to head for the door, Kakashi and Severus got up to join them but Lily motioned them to sit. _

"_We won't be gone long," Lily stated with a small smile that quickly turned mischievous, "Besides, I believe you, Severus, promised to teach 'Kashi how to play chess." Kakashi and Severus looked at each other for a moment and then turned to look a Lily, "And don't burn down the my new flat, alright!" with that the two sisters left the them a lone but their laughter, or cackling if you were to ask Kakashi, still drifted into the flat. _

_After the silence had stretched for some time, Kakashi decided to break it. He rubbed the back of his head and put on a confused expression, "Mah… why would she think we'd burn the place down?"_

_Severus quirked an eyebrow, but instead of answering just stood up and went over to a box that had an eight by eight grid on top of it. He picked it up from his place on the floor next to the record machine, and gestured for Kakashi to follow him. _

_Kakashi sighed and he turned to follow the other. He would have rolled his eyes at the wizard's behavior if it wouldn't be a wasted gesture. _

"_So, how do we play this?" Kakashi asked once they were seated at the kitchen table with the box between them. _

_Severus opened the box and showed the pieces to Kakashi, "This is the King, if this is in a position where, no matter what, it will be taken - you lose. That's called Checkmate. Check, is when you have the potential of your King being taken unless you move it or another piece to keep it from being taken. _

"_Next is the Queen, she can move in any direction, so long as it is straight out from her. This is the Bishop, it can only move diagonally. This piece that looks like a castle, is the Rook, it moves forward or back and left or right. The Knight moves in an 'L' pattern, three in one direction and one perpendicular from the end of the three. Last are the Peons, they move one space ahead of them and attack diagonally," _

_Kakashi had a feeling there were more rules than that, and more he ought to know, but it would be a lost cause to ask, not to mention it would be admitting weakness. Though he didn't care for competitions of this sort, part of him wanted to best the wizard in a battle of minds, because without a doubt ninja were the superior fighters. _

_The box was closed once all of the pieces were removed. The grid was face up and Severus began to set his pieces on the board. Kakashi assumed the pieces were to be placed in the same places until Severus told him "Queen starts on her color." He figured Severus was talking about the black and white squares that comprised the grid. _

_He sighed and corrected his mistake, thus moving the Queen to her proper place, the white square. Afterwards Severus motioned Kakashi to make his move, and so their game began. Immediately, Kakashi figured out one of the many rules Severus never mentioned to him; Peons could move two spaces on their first move. _

_It was quiet and tense. After five more turns Kakashi picked up how the game was played and began to strategize. Kakashi rested his elbows on the table and had his hands clasped in front of his mouth, this hid the smirk that began to form after half an hour. It was certainly a different way to think and plan ahead, but in some ways it reminded him of planning an infiltration. Which pieces would and could slip past his opponent's defenses to neutralize the target?_

_Kakashi heard the sisters approaching a few seconds before they opened the door, so unlike Severus, he was not startled when they loudly opened the door. _

"_Hey, we're ba- oh, still at it," Lily quieted herself when she came into the kitchen and saw how intently they were both looking at the chessboard. The muscle below Severus's eye had begun to twitch when Lily entered the kitchen but now it was relaxed again. _

"_Check" Severus stated after he made his move. Kakashi's smirk grew and he quickly moved a piece to intercede the other's path. _

"_I think that's checkmate,"Kakashi leaned back and schooled his expression when he saw Severus's eyes flick about the board and pinpoint how each move of his King would end in a check._

"_So what's the score?" Lily asked, having set down the groceries and watched their last moves. _

"_Mah, there's a scoring to this game?" Kakashi asked as he stood up to stretch, and also partly to hide his smirk at Severus's glower. _

"_Zero-one," Severus rested his elbow on the table and set his chin into his hand in a dejected manner. _

_Lily's eyes widened, "Your first game took a whole hour?" she looked between the two before she turned away and shook her head. Petunia who had been putting groceries away laughed a little. _

"_Good game, Mr. Hatake,"Severus stood and held out his hand, he was clearly not pleased but was still trying to be a good sport. Perhaps for Lily's sake?_

"_Yes, thank you for teaching me, Mr. Snape," he took the hand and shook it. "Perhaps if I can find a Go set, I'll teach you how to play that," Kakashi eye-smiled before turning toward Lily and Petunia who seemed to giving each other amused looks. _

"_Will you need help with dinner?" Kakashi asked, and noted that Severus was nodding his head. _

"_Oh, we've got it," Petunia then picked up the chessboard. "Why don't you two go play another round while we cook, hmm?"_

_Lily stifled a laugh and shook her head, "Oh Tunney," she mumbled, and Kakashi swore he heard her say, "It's not the 1950's anymore."_

_Regardless of what that meant, Kakashi now found himself sitting on the floor with Severus. The chessboard was between them and it was going to be another tense and quiet hour. He hoped dinner would be made soon. _

Dawn had begun, Kakashi noted pleased. He had to admit, it was beautiful and the perspective was one that he had never had before. It was almost surreal to see the clouds below him change into pinks and oranges due to the rising sun. It was fascinating.

There was a grunt beside him and he figured the Englishman was disturbed by the sunlight filtering through the window. To save himself a little more time from the obnoxious man, he shut the blinds to the window with a deft movement. The man settled back down and Kakashi opted to think back to his time with Lily.

_Kakashi held his arms up in defense as his legs were bent and spread apart wide enough to keep his balance. Lily aimed a high kick at his arms and held nothing back as her shin made contact with his forearm. Kakashi was used to these smarting blows and had undergone worse, but he would still have some bruises after this. _

_They were at Lily's for a change, she had a meeting with her family shortly after their usual self-defense sessions, and she didn't want to be rushed in changing. It seemed like a valid excuse, though if that suddenly appearing out of thin air trick was how most wizards traveled he wondered how closely she was scheduling things. _

"_Good," Kakashi stated before he caught her leg. Lily's resulting smile was almost feral. She jumped while swinging her other leg at his head. The momentum from her twisting body was already pulling on his arms so he dropped them and backed up a little. He could have easily knocked her down but he didn't want her to get hurt. _

"_And if I had blocked that while maintaining hold on your foot?" Kakashi asked with his eyebrow raised, Lily crossed her arms over her chest._

"_I'd have caught myself," she had her lips set into a line and her eyes shone confidently._

"_Hmm…" Kakashi then rushed toward her, he let her slip to his side before he directed a roundhouse kick at her midsection. She blocked it, and gave a sweeping kick in response. Kakashi flipped out of the way and chuckled at her annoyed glare. She hated when he used his acrobatics. _

_She now rushed toward him and threw a few punches at his face and then chest. He blocked them all with ease before he grabbed one arm and pinned it behind her back while bringing her to the ground. He pressed his knee into the small of her back to further immobilize her. Lily Tried to kick back at him but it was futile. _

"_Give up?"_

"_For this round," Lily conceded with a sigh. Kakashi got off of her and held out a hand to her. He was eye-smiling which brought another annoyed look to her face._

_Lily shifted down into her offensive stance and Kakashi mimicked after he took a few steps backwards. She was breathing heavily, but she was determined to continue. She waited for him to make the first move. _

_Smiling Kakashi closed the distance between them before he dropped down to the side in a feint and swept out Lily's legs from under her. She managed to catch herself and took a few stuttering steps backwards. Her palms were an angry red from their impact with the floor. Kakashi eye-smiled at her from his crouch, and she grinned back at him. _

_She started to rush toward him with her arm raised to punch down at him. Kakashi pushed himself out of the crouch and grabbed hold of her arm when a loud knock came. _

_Lily stumbled and gave a little cry of surprise, but Kakashi quickly shifted his hold to catch her so she did not fall. She laughed and righted herself. "Thanks," she called to him softly before she made her way over to the door, "I'm coming," she called and the knocking stopped. _

_She was a little out of breath still, and her hair stuck to her skin in sweat soaked clumps. She swiftly swung the door open before she tensed. Kakashi couldn't see her from here but he had a feeling her smile faltered._

"_J-"_

"_Lily, are you okay, I heard a scream?" Kakashi grimaced, he recognized that voice. _

"_J-James?!" she pulled the door a little closer to herself, clearly not wanting to invite him in, "What are you doing here?"_

"_Remus told me you found a place," Kakashi noted her hand clenched a little tighter to the door. He really didn't want to be here, perhaps he could make an escape out the window – but then how would he explain that to Lily?_

"_I thought you could use a house warming present and maybe I could put up a few-"_

"_I have a guest," she whispered lowly, though Kakashi still caught it, and he imagined she said that to keep him from saying something magical. _

"_Can I come in?" there was a nervous edge to James's voice, "Or…should I come back?" Kakashi refrained from spluttering, he caught the hidden message, and it made the angry tone to his words understandable. _

_Kakashi quickly sat down and began to stretch, if only to not think about the implications James had made. He could imagine the man was clenching his fists, much like how Lily's fingers were pressing harshly into the wood of door._

"_Fine," Lily bit out after a long moment. She turned around and saw what Kakashi was doing so sat down beside him and joined in the stretching. _

"_James," Kakashi greeted with an eye-smile and a wave. He was suddenly very conscious of the fact that his ANBU tattoo was visible, due to the way James's narrowed eyes were sizing him up and most likely comparing Kakashi to himself. Perhaps he shouldn't have worn an A-line tank, he was going to have to get used to wearing long-sleeves anyways when he was forced to take on a genin team. _

"_Takashi," James nodded a little stiffly before he turned his attention back to Lily. His features immediately softened and Kakashi caught the same adoring look on his face that Severus often directed at Lily. Would it be awkward if he left, what if James did something brash?_

"_We're you sparring?" James sounded a little incredulous, but Lily quickly nodded. James shifted a little in his discomfort. Kakashi then noticed the basket in his hand that was filled with glass jars and a few viles, but Kakashi could not read their labels form this angle. _

_There was a heavy silence for a few more seconds before James thankfully filled it, "Are you mad at Remus for telling me where you live?" James looked like he feared what she'd say._

"_Yes I am, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't come around here anymore," Lily was glaring at him, which caused the wizard to wince and look thoroughly chastised._

"_Please don't be mad at him, I pressured him and he told me not to come anyways," James was now shifting around uncomfortably as he spewed out defenses for his friend. "It's just- I'm so worried about you Lily," he knelt down beside her and began to reach a hand out toward her before he let it fall at his side limply. Lily flinched slightly, perhaps feeling guilty about how dejected the wizard looked. _

_Kakashi needed to get out of there before the wizard started confessing feelings, "Mah…" Kakashi moved fluidly to his feet and brushed off his pants, "I think we're done for today, you have your family thing in a half hour, so…" Kakashi scanned the living room for his bag so he could change clothes. _

_James was eying him again but he didn't move from his keeling position beside Lily. _

_Lily sighed and stood up as well, which caused James to finally stand. "You're right," Kakashi nodded his head and finally found his bag. He started to make his way toward it, "You can change here," she jerked her head toward the water closet but Kakashi shook his head._

"_I'll change in the lobby," when Lily was about to protest he changed the topic, "You're right hook is getting better, but you still have a lot to do work up your left. Umm…" Kakashi's brow furrowed, he really wanted to get out of here, "And you need to think through your moves more fully, you'll get caught and pinned if you keep on as you are, but you're unpredictable style is very effective."_

_Lily was nodded her head, her face was serious as he gave her his feedback. He imagined she was just like this in school, serious and straight-forward. James for his part looked between Kakashi and Lily with a lost expression. _

_Kakashi nodded again and started to head out the door. He was thankful Lily didn't stop to hug him like she usually did, though perhaps she knew that would give James something to blow up about. Whatever the reason though, Kakashi was just thankful to be out of there. _

Kakashi sighed. He could have imagined that encounter going much worse. He did hear from Lily later that the two of them did get into a shouting match, however, it ended quickly. The shouting was over James actions towards Severus and his accusations of her cheating on him when they were still together. When they were done yelling at each other he told her he wouldn't come around anymore, and left right away. Kakashi and Lily had been sparring when she told him this and what blows landed had a lot more power and anger behind them than usual.

Kakashi chuckled a little at the memory, when Lily was pissed about something; she became a force to be reckoned with. But when she was sad… It was strange how quickly she could turn him into a supportive friend offering out hug after hug, when he was normally uncomfortable with physical contact. He supposed that went back to Minato-sensei, he always forced Kakashi into hugs or headlocks when he was down or just being bratty. Kakashi smiled sadly, he was still amazed by the effect Lily had on him, how much she could change him.

_Four months had passed since he left the Elemental Lands, and it had gone surprisingly fast when considering that he wasn't on life-threatening missions all the time. Those missions really did make time go by quickly, at least until he wound up in the hospital because of, more often than not, chakra exhaustion. _

_Still, Kakashi was homesick, regardless of how quickly the time went by. A third of a year was gone, in what felt like the blink of an eye. Maybe it was from the routine he had developed. He would spy on the magical world, usually in the form of a cat, then he would do his exercises. Lily would come by his place and they would have their sexual tension saturated self-defense lessons, after which they may go for a walk or have dinner. To finish the day he would spy on the magical world. Depending on the day he might go walking with Lily, and sometimes her sister, or Severus came along with her. It was a simple routine, and during the month since Lily moved into her new flat, no new developments had occurred in his mission or his relationship with the witch - well besides the aforementioned mounting tension and that episode with James. _

_Kakashi stretched his arms above his head as he entered his apartment building. Being a cat for the whole day, even if just an illusion, was exhausting and gave him all sorts of kinks in his back and neck. No wonder cats stretched all the time. _

_Kakashi paused at the top of the stairs and blinked a few times. "Lily?" he was moving toward her. She had been pacing in front of his door but when he called her name she stopped and turned toward him. She was crying and she had her arms wrapped around herself. She didn't move closer to him, but she hugged herself tighter. _

"_Lily? What happened?" he asked softly as he reached out to hug her (strange how naturally that was becoming for him). She let him hug her but she didn't return it, her arms were still wrapped around her body. Kakashi immediately thought she was staunching blood flow but he didn't smell blood on her._

"_Lily," he used a sterner voice and with a hand he tilted her head up toward him, "What happened?" he asked slowly and lowly. He was thinking the worst, things he knew weren't in the realm of possibility, but her lack of response made those thoughts creep up. Had Potter done something, had __**Snape **__done something?_

"_Did someone hurt you?" he stooped down to be at eye level and searched her trembling green eyes. They kept spilling tears and were red from all of her crying, but he received no insight into what she was feeling or thinking. He took hold of her upper arms, she was shaking. _

"_Lily, please answer me," she made a noise at the back of her throat, almost like a keen. She tore out of his grip and began to walk past._

"_I have to meet T-Tunney," she choked out before she began to sob. Kakashi caught one of her arms and swung her into a hug, she stiffened for a moment before breaking down into unintelligible sobbing and slumping against him. _

_Between her gasping for air and wailing he caught a few words: "No right," "think," "stupid," "Mum." The sobbing grew worse and for a moment he had feared she had been hurt by one of those wizards, but then he caught something in the tone of her crying. Grief, and mourning. _

_He heard civilians make this cry for their KIA shinobi relatives. Mum, he knew he caught that in the middle of her words, and after she had said that her cries were completely unintelligible. He sagged in his revelation and began to rub her back. _

_Kakashi glared at one of his neighbors, who had apparently left their apartment to investigate the noise and was now gawking at them. When the neighbor didn't get the hint, Kakashi began to move toward his flat. Lily stumbled with him, but eventually he got into the small rented space. _

"_Lily, why didn't you tell me at first?" he asked softly once he had the door shut. She only shook her head and buried her face into his chest. "You must have come here because you wanted to tell me," he ducked his head down so he was speaking into her hair. _

_She just kept crying, so he sighed and turned his head so his cheek rested on top her head. They stayed like this a little, and Lily's sobs began to lessen, so Kakashi pushed himself off of his door. "Come on, Lily, let's get you sitting down, hmm?" he wasn't used to comforting people, that was what the psych evaluators were for, and civilians had their own people to get comfort from. _

_He sighed once he got her sitting down and ran a hand through his hair. He looked around his apartment for a moment, "I…I'll get you a glass of water, okay?" He didn't wait for her response and just went to fill up a cup with water from the tap. He sat down on the couch beside her and set the cup on the table, considering that she was still shaking and cry a little too hard to hold the cup without spilling. _

_She leaned against Kakashi and he wrapped his arms around her. "Lily you know you can talk to me about that. I've gone through loss too," she shook her head again and attempted to laugh but only managed to gasp and cried again._

"_T-that's just it," she took a deep breath but it turned into a sob. She pulled away from him and rubbed at her eyes. "Yeah! I wanted to t-talk to you, b-but you were in a" she began to form the proceeding word but it caught in her mouth and came out as a sob, but soon she was able to continue, "you were in a war, and – and so many," she covered her eyes, "and Tunney told me what you guys t-talked about th-that," she couldn't finish her sentence but Kakashi knew what she was referring to. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before he pulled her back into a hug and rested his cheek atop her head. _

"_If you talked with Petunia then you also know that I find nothing wrong with mourning, especially for someone you loved so much," Lily's only response was returning his hug, and returning it tightly. "I may have seen a lot of death, Lily, but I never had that strong of feelings for them. Only my father, teammates, and sensei's death had impacted me._

"_Lily, you lost a parent," Kakashi turned his face slightly, his nose was pressed into her hair, and he hugged her more tightly. Kakashi closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. Damn it, his throat was constricting. "I envy you for mourning, I never could."_

"_Wh-what?"_

"_Lily, after my sensei died I had missions to do, I buried myself in work. After my teammates…it was the same except my mission was becoming acclimated to Japan," Kakashi swallowed thickly again, "And my father…I was always ashamed and … angry?" _

_Was that it? Had he been too angry at his father, too ashamed of him to mourn? Kakashi had only been eight, and his father… Kakashi knew he helped drive him to it, but his father ultimately __**chose**__ to die, chose to abandon him like that, with all the hate of the village cast onto their family name. His father had abandoned him, and Kakashi just couldn't mourn for someone who would desert him. _

"_Gods Lily, why would you ever think I'd scorn you for mourning?" Kakashi pulled away slightly and brought one hand up to cup her face and tilt it up towards him "Especially mourning for your mother, for a parent?" _

"_I was being stupid," she coked out, she was still trembling and her voice was rough, but now the tears were just slipping down and she was no longer sobbing. _

"_You were," Kakashi dropped his head so their foreheads were touching, "But we're friends and we tell each other when we're being stupid," she closed her eyes and gave a wavering smile. _

_Kakashi reached for the glass of water and once he had settled back against the couch, he handed it to her. She took the glass in her still shaking hands and sipped at it. She leaned into him and rested her head against his shoulder, "Lily, do you want to tell me about her," he asked while he rubbed his thumb against her arm._

"_It was a sudden heart attack," Lily whispered against the lip of the glass. She was crying again but not sobbing. "She was gone before the paramedics could get to her," Lily's words were a choked up. _

"_What was her favorite song? She liked music, right?" Lily smiled despite her tears and she nodded her head. He had a feeling all of the Evans women loved music; it could be the only explanation for their strange obsession with that noise. _

"_She __**loved**__ Sinatra, and she loved listening to music, especially symphonies," Lily took another sip of water and leaned more into Kakashi, "She always said, bands were nothing without the strings. Said they were too harsh and cold without strings filling their sound out,"_

"_What does that mean?" Kakashi asked, his head was resting on top of her head. _

_Lily sniffed and rubbed at her nose before she answered him, "It's hard to explain without hearing it,"_

"_Then I guess you'll have to show me sometime."_

_She laughed a little, "You, willingly going to listen to __**noise**__?" she took another sip of water and shook her head. _

_Kakashi could hardly believe he had suggested it either, but that was what people did, right? They did what they didn't like to do to help people through hard times. They acted selfless and tried to make the other person happy. That's what people did for friends…right?_

"_Maybe it will help me realize the point behind it," Lily shook her head again._

"_That'll be the day," she shifted a little closer to him, but her head was tilted down. Kakashi was afraid of what she was about to say if it could sober her so quickly._

"_You know what the worst thing is about it? Grandma will have had to bury her husband and all of her children," Lily pressed her palm against one eye, "And she probably won't remember having had Mum," Lily began to outright sob and Kakashi quickly removed the glass from her hands and set it on the coffee table. He then enveloped her in a full hug. _

_He couldn't imagine that, he couldn't imagine what Lily and the rest of her family must have been feeling. The situation with the grandmother, Gods, that had to be a fresh wound every time they visited her, and now with the funeral... _

"_Will you go with me?" Lily asked in between her sobs. _

"_We're friends; we support each other, don't we?" Lily gave a feeble laugh and hugged Kakashi tighter. _

Kakashi took a deep breath and exhaled. Though times may have seemed happier back then when he was with Lily, there was still death, and admittedly he liked forgetting about that.

He supported Lily through two deaths while he was in London. Just shy of six months after Laurel Evans passed, her mother Iris Smith followed her. In some ways, the grandmother's death was a happy occasion, because the woman was no longer confused all the time, and she was "reunited with her family at long last" - according to the religious man conducting the ceremony.

The grandmother's funeral went much better than Laurel Evans's and the wake. Gods, Kakashi grimaced at the memory. Where at Iris Smith's wake they played the deceased's favorite operas, and friends and family told their favorite stories about her; a tornado of drama nearly erupted at Laurel Evans's wake. Kakashi shuddered to think how badly it almost ended.

_The quiet was heavy within the church, and Kakashi could imagine what every person in the building was thinking, "she's too young." Everyone is too young to die, because there are so many memories to make and so many things that person could have done if death had not come. _

_The grief was almost palpable, and the closest situation Kakashi could relate the amount of grief to, was the death of a Hokage. Perhaps all civilians felt this way at funerals, perhaps they always had a heavy blanket of grief hanging over the service, but when Minato-sensei had died the grief was just as palpable as at this little civilian funeral. _

_In respect, he refused to shift or fidget, despite how much he would like to. He had a suit on, one of the two he had bought early on to disguise in business districts for information. Of course, then he learned more about the magical community and how they wore robes like Sandiame-Hokage._

_Kakashi felt uncomfortable listening to the religious man speaking about "Heaven" and how "God's child had returned to him." He didn't really believe in religion much, and this afterlife concept disturbed him. He'd rather think there was nothing. Because if there was an afterlife, he was sure he'd end up around a camp fire with his father and they would try to reconcile with their pasts. Though undoubtedly therapeutic, it sounded dreadful._

_What he did pay attention to was when Lily's father, Harold Evans went up to stand before the open casket. He had a limp to his walk, perhaps from when he had broken his hip when Lily was little; perhaps it had never healed right. _

_Lily and Petunia were holding onto each other, and Vernon had a beefy hand wrapped around his fiancé's hand. Severus and Kakashi had been allowed to sit in the pew behind the family, and from there they both gave Lily their support. Severus had his hand on her shoulder, while Kakashi held onto her hand, well more like she squeezed his hand like she was holding on for dear life. _

"_It came as a shock to all of us," Harold began with a trembling voice, "that my darling Laurel," the man pressed his lips together and bowed his head, "that she passed on," Kakashi could see him trembling as he said those words, and he could __**feel**__ the Evans sisters trembling too._

"_She was darling, my Laurel, my wonderful old girl," Harold took in a shaky breath, "I met her during a Blitz, fifteen years old, I was, and more than willing to enlist. We were huddled together as the bombs rained down, terrified and shaking we were._

"_She was panicking about her parents, and I did what I could to comfort her. I asked her what school she was going to, if she was going to be a nurse for the war - which at the time looked like it would never end – and I asked what she loved to do. Play the viola, she told me. And God did my Laurel play it beautifully, till her dying day." Harold wiped at his eyes and coughed to clear the tightness out of his throat._

"_We never expected to meet each other again, but then we did, at the bookstore I worked for during college. We recognized each other right away. Then she started coming into the store every day, and we'd talk about everything from Chaucer to Bronté. My Laurel loved to read and she passed that on to our lovely, wonderful girls," Harold addressed his daughters with a wavering smile. "She didn't pass on her musical talent I'm afraid," he gave a shaky laugh, as did the Evans sisters, "but even so._

"_My wife, my best friend, my home; that and so much more was my Laurel. She was a brilliant mother, and she raised our daughters right. She was a compassionate soul in life, a teacher and a friend to many. And we will love and miss her always," he ducked his head again and moved back to the pew. _

_Kakashi tuned out what the religious man was saying but came away with what the man was trying to get across. She would be remembered and she was in some wonderful place now. It may not be an appropriate time, but he really didn't want there to be anything after death, perhaps that comforted the dying but all Kakashi could think of was seeing his father again and the shame and anger that would accompany the reunion. _

_Afterwards five men plus Harold stood up and moved to stand around the coffin. They then lifted it out of the church and into the hearse. As they began to file out, Kakashi noted Lily and Petunia tense then Severus a few moments later. Kakashi quickly found the source of their tension, James. He nodded his head as he walked past and James returned the gesture. _

_After a sickening car ride, that thankfully was slow, they stood before an open grave and with a few final religious words Kakashi cared not to remember, the casket was lowered. People began to load back into the cars and Kakashi grimaced. _

"_Takashi, will you walk with me?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "I want to walk to the wake, it's not far from here," Kakashi was just as surprised as Severus and it looked like both of them were wearing the same expression. _

"_Severus, James will be at the wake, and if he sees me come in with you know how he'll get," Severus sighed and nodded his head. He walked in front of Lily and hugged her before kissing her lightly on the forehead. _

"_Okay, Lil," he then joined Petunia and Vernon in their car. _

_The day was bright and cold, much colder than Konoha ever was. Kakashi pulled his coat closer around him, as did Lily. They began to make their way. They walked along a cleared path. It had snowed a few days ago, and though some of the snow had melted away, not all of it had. _

_The cold air, despite making his face numb, had a refreshing aspect to it. He breathed through his nose despite the stinging the cold air caused. "It'll snow tonight," Kakashi stated._

"_Really?" Lily asked softly, she wasn't fully present._

"_I can smell it on the air," Kakashi shoved his gloved hands into his pockets and pulled the coat closer to his body. _

"_Hmm? Maybe we'll have a white Christmas?" Lily looked down at the ground , her shoulders were tense._

"_Christmas is a holiday?" Lily just nodded her head and didn't look up._

"_Hmm… My village didn't have many holidays, and our biggest one was the New Year," Kakashi moved closer to Lily who still had her head tilted toward the ground; however, it was now also tilted closer to him. _

"_What is Christmas like?" Kakashi was now close enough to wrap his arm around Lily, she leaned into him. He knew this physical contact helped her calm down, and since meeting Lily he had been making a conscious effort to hug her when she was down. _

"_Mum…" she faltered, her voice was tight, "Mum baked a lot, breads and biscuits. She never baked except around Christmas," Kakashi noted she was crying slightly, "Tunney and I would help her make this big dinner, and later in the evening Mum would take out her viola and play for us. Without fail, Tunney and I would get the most hideous homemade socks from her, and then these beautiful handmade skirts or blouses. My mum could sew like a professional seamstress, but she couldn't knit to save her life," Lily laughed and closed her eyes for a moment. _

_They were almost to the wake now, which was good, Kakashi couldn't feel his face. There was a reason Konoha was the Land of Fire, it was usually fairly warm and if there was ever a snow it melted after a few days. _

"_What was New Year's Eve like?" Lily asked softly_

"_We would gather at a comrade or friend's house and have the last bowl of soba or udon for the old year; it's sort of symbolic for crossing over to the next year. Most people go to a shrine or temple at midnight or during the following three days. You try to settle debts and visit family for the New Year, sort of starting fresh," Kakashi shrugged. He met with fellow shinobi that had no family or close friends to be with, and they had their noodles, some went to temples, others went back to missions. He didn't even remember most of what people were supposed to do for it, but he also hadn't really had the time off to join in the festivities. It was an important holiday, yes, but more so for the civilians. _

"_Sounds nice," Lily stated and wrapped her arm around Kakashi's middle as they continued walking in companionable silence. Within a few minutes they were outside the doors to the wake. Lily sighed and pulled away from Kakashi, who quickly shoved his hands into his pocket. _

_Lily held the door for him and he nodded his head in thanks. James immediately noticed them come in, and Lily realized James was walking toward them, "Would you like me to leave you two alone?"_

_Lily nodded her head almost imperceptibly, "Why don't you keep Severus occupied?" Kakashi nodded his head and began to move toward Severus who was talking with Harold Evans. Of course, the wizard knew exactly when Lily had come in and when James had started walking toward Lily._

"_Ex-"_

"_Mr. Snape, Mr. Evans," Kakashi greeted, thus interrupting Severus who was undoubtedly trying to excuse himself, "My name is Takashi Hatake," Kakashi reached out his hand to shake Harold's hand._

"_Yes, Petunia and Lily have told me a lot about you, and please, call me Harry," Kakashi nodded his head and seated himself beside Severus. _

"_It's nice to meet you at last, si-Harry," the man laughed a little at Kakashi's slip, it just felt strange to call the man by a nickname. "And my condolences," Kakashi offered a partial bow, and Harold nodded his head in return. _

_Severus was practically vibrating in his seat, he clearly wanted to fly across the room to where Lily and James were, which would probably lead to something catastrophic. "Oh, Mr. Snape," Severus shot a dark look at him, "Knight to E5," the wizard blinked a few times, clearly he did not understand what was going on, "I believe we ended on my turn the last time we played chess."_

_Harold was chuckling to himself when he caught Severus's incredulous expression, "You memorized the chessboard?" Kakashi just eye smiled and nodded his head. Really, it had been his sharingan that memorized the chessboard but Severus didn't need to know that. So Kakashi quickly rearranged his mental copy of the board so that the Knight was at E5. _

_After a minute, Severus did give a response, but in that time, Kakashi managed to catch a few things Lily and James were saying. _

"_Lily," James's voice faltered, "I read it in one of Sirius's newspapers, I'm __**so sorry**__ for your loss."_

"_Thank you James."_

"_Lils, you know I've been through this too, my parents died seventh year, remember. I know-"_

_Kakashi was drawn from their conversation and back to his match with Severus, and after making the wizard's move show on his mental chessboard, he made his own move. As he waited for Severus's counter he continued to eaves drop_

"_Lily, I love you so much –"_

"_James not now," Lily sounded tired, but Kakashi supposed that was to be expected. _

"_I'll be better, I'll do whatever. I'll reconcile with Snivel-Snape."_

"_Sure you will, James he was my best friend, the only one at Hogwarts that really knew me."_

_Kakashi wanted to sigh in annoyance when Severus made his move. He quickly figured out his own move and made it before listening back in. _

"_Lily, I need you, the Order needs you, we all need you-"_

_Kakakshi quickly made his counter move, but found that Severus yet again had his next plan ready. Closing his eyes, Kakashi brought up his chessboard, and wanted to smack himself in the head. He was being led right into a checkmate. Well then… two could play that game, literally. _

"_James I don't know if I want to be part of the wizarding world,"_

"_What?!"_

"_It tore apart my relationship with Tunney, and we finally have it back, besides…"_

"_Besides what?" There was a pause and then James sounded almost horrified. _"_Lily, no…don't tell me, please don't tell me that you're – you're in love with that __**muggle**__,"_

"_I-I don't know, James! I don't know. But I feel more for him than –"_

_Kakashi wanted to hug Severus for his perfectly timed move. Kakashi didn't want to know the rest of that sentence but he had a good idea where it was going. Kakashi hoped dearly that he was not the "muggle" in question. Because being friends with Lily was bad enough, it made the situation messy enough. And Lily was wonderful and maybe if he could…but he couldn't, that was it, end of discussion! Kakashi made his move and was afraid to listen back in._

_However it seemed he didn't need to._

"_James," Kakashi kept his facial expression relaxed, at Harold's sudden greeting. Kakashi had kept his expression schooled just like when he and Severus had begun their game. However, Kakashi really just wanted to groan and slump into his chair. _

_He was not in the mood for shows of masculinity or claim over Lily because he was perfectly fine being her friend; even though there was a slowly, growing selfish part of him that may want something more, because he highly doubted he'd ever experience as meaningful a relationship again. Frankly, Konoha civilian woman were a pain and kunoichi were trained in killing and seduction, he'd be afraid of killing her and or being killed by her. _

"_Hello Mr. Evans," strange Harold didn't correct James, "Hello again Takashi," he paused and shifted his weight from one foot to the other in discomfort, "can we…talk for a moment," James shrugged his shoulders and gestured toward the exit as he was talking. _

_Kakashi really hoped he wasn't trying to fight him, but he nodded his head in consent and asked to be dismissed. Severus was eying them sharply before his attention turned to Lily who was crying to her sister. Deal with James or deal with Lily, well, James distressed her so Kakashi supposed he should deal with him before anything got out of control. _

_Once James and Kakashi were outside, Kakashi leaned himself against the building and pulled his coat tight around him. _

_James had his back toward him and he had his hands shoved in his pockets. "Lily told me you've been a good friend to her."_

"_She's been a good friend to me too," James whirled around with his eyes narrowed, and he was suddenly in Kakashi's face._

"_What?" James asked in a low voice. Kakashi was truly baffled, and consequently blinked in his bewilderment._

"_She's been a good friend," Kakashi repeated slower and with less certainty in his voice, James eyes were still narrowed. "She's probably the first true friend I've ever had, does that bother you?" Kakashi had no clue what the hell was going through the wizard's mind. _

"_So just a friend?" James was backing off now, "not a __**good**__ friend," Kakashi knew he must look confused, because he was, but then it slowly dawned on him and his eyes widened. If not for the cold his face probably would have flushed a little. _

"_Oh. Oh! …oh," Kakashi could not think of any other word but slowly he began to shake his head, "No, no, we-no," and he flailed his arms a little bit, as embarrassing as it was to admit. _

"_Okay," James stepped a few paces back and had his arms folded over his chest, "I can deal with you, just not Snivelous," James shook his head, "said first true friend, right? So you won't ever hurt her, or lie to her, or betray her," Kakashi raised his eyebrows and felt at a loss. _

"_I love Lily, okay, and if she doesn't want me in her life," James paused for a moment and seemed to be working to get the words out, "fine, I'll be gone," he looked down at the ground and pinched the bridge of his nose. "But someone has to be there to make her happy, and keep her safe, and make her laugh, and love her," James finally looked up at Kakashi and nodded his head. "It can be platonic love, I don't care," James ran a hand through his hair. _

"_But if," James continued again and looked back at Kakashi, "that doesn't happen, I'll hold you responsible, and I'll make your life a living hell."_

_Kakashi couldn't help but smirk, "Five years too late," he sobered though, "but for the first time since my life went to hell, I think I'm finally back in…purgatory," he believed that was the right term, and his response seemed to satisfy James. _

"_Well don't let that hell hurt Lily,"_

"_Don't worry, I left that back home," James nodded at his answer. _

"_You seem alright, Hatake,"James smirked again, "Take care of Lils for me, 'kay? I don't trust Snivelous," with that he began to walk away. Well…that did not blow up nearly as much as he thought it might. _

_Sighing in relief he returned to the wake and sat down to be interrogated by Harold Evans._

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**_A suivre_**

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**A/N:** I really shouldn't update for at least a month, and if I do I'm procrastinating on schoolwork. Hope you enjoyed ~ depressedchildren


	6. Chapter 5: Reminisces and Travel Part 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** awkward situations, self-depreciating attitudes, swearing, Severus, and airports

**A/N:** So this chapter starts off slow mostly because Kakashi tries to describe a symphony when he knows nothing about music (writing that was really hard for me). Also, view points that Kakashi expresses are not necessarily what I believe of him but I feel like he would think that way. Again, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites.~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

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_**Chapitre 6: Les vacances d'hiver**_

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Kakashi shifted in his seat as he remembered James's actions. For what he did, Kakashi had to admire him. James just let Lily go out of his life if it meant she would be happy. It had to kill him to hear she didn't want him in her life. It probably even shocked him that Lily wanted to leave the wizarding world, but James respected her wishes and removed himself from her life.

Severus and James were two of the most selfless men Kakashi knew because they were able give Lily up if it meant she would be happy. Kakashi was selfish, and the recent years only reaffirmed that fact. He was selfish to want Naruto as his student, even though he would have flourished under someone else's instruction - as traveling with Jiraiya testified.

Kakashi wasn't an idiot; he knew how counterproductive Sasuke and Naruto being on the same team was. They were at each other's throats almost constantly, and unlike with Obito and himself, their rivalry was never healthy. He just wanted to have a piece of Minato-sensei and Kushina-san. He wanted to repay his sensei for everything he did for Kakashi, and since Kakashi couldn't do that sooner due to the Sandaime's orders… Kakashi sighed, for in the end he failed, and now knew he was one of the worst jounin instructors in the history of the village.

He wondered if he would have been a better sensei if Sakura had not been on their team to further demoralize Naruto and disrupt their group? He would never want to change their team but… shit hit the fan and flew everywhere. Sasuke should never have been allowed to graduate, or – at the very least – they should have had a teacher capable to handling the little psychopath's craving for revenge.

Why did he have to fail so horribly as a teacher? Was it just Sasuke that had been the problem? Could any team have been successful with Sasuke on it? Or was everything so perfectly orchestrated by-by Obito, that nothing could have changed what happened? No, he needed to stop making excuses, he was the jounin instructor; he had to take full responsibility. He had to take responsibility for a lot of things…Rin and then Obito becoming Madara.

Kakashi sighed and leaned further back in to the seat. He didn't want to think of his failings anymore, anything would be better.

_It had been a few days since the funeral. Lily was despondent and with the approaching holiday, she was all the more depressed, Kakashi could tell. He pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and went to greet her. Lily's gaze was drawn to the ground and she did not seem to have noticed his presence. _

_Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and sighed before he called out a greeting, "Lily?" she looked up quickly and gave him a slight smile. _

"_Hey 'Kashi," her voice was small, and her smile did not reach her eyes. Kakashi gave a slight smile and reached out an arm to loop around her shoulder in a loose hug. She leaned against him in response, and once they began walking she wrapped her arm around his middle. _

"_Where to today?" Kakashi asked. They had met up for a walk because for the past few days Lily and Petunia had stayed with their father. Gods, he could not imagine what the family was going through. Lily shrugged. Her gaze was once again locked on the ground. _

"_Hmm…" Kakashi looked around; they were getting closer to the used bookstore they frequented on these walks. However, he doubted even books would get Lily out of her slump. _

"_I finished _Through the Looking-Glass_," Lily hummed and shifted a little closer to Kakashi. "It was a good read, and the linguistic elements were-" Kakashi cut himself off. He had been lazily scanning through flyers glued on the outside of shops and brick walls, and one flyer caught his attention._

_Lily was looking at him with her brow furrowed, "What?"_

_Kakashi turned his head toward her and titled it down to look his friend in the eye. He had a wry smile on his face while he pointed to the flyer without looking at it. "I promised," Kakashi stated simply once he knew Lily's green eyes had locked onto the flyer that had caught Kakashi's attention. Her eyes widened and she took in a deep breath. _

_She looked up at him after she had finished reading the flyer and she swallowed thickly. She blinked a few times but tears still began to slide down her face. Kakashi's smile softened and he nodded his head again, "I thought you wanted to educate me on the glory of noi-music," Kakashi caught himself in time but he still caused Lily to give a feeble laugh. _

"_The symphony sounds great 'Kashi," she swallowed again and wiped at her tears. She then gave Kakashi a full hug and burrowed her face into his shoulder, "Thanks," she mumbled. Kakashi tentatively returned the hug, eventually his cheek rested on her head as they stood on the street hugging. _

_He hoped this would help with her mourning, he hoped this wouldn't make matters worse. _

Kakashi smiled slightly. Well…perhaps he wasn't completely selfish; he did willingly subject himself to noise to cheer Lily up.

Kakashi's smile fell quickly; however, because he could hear the Englishman stirring next to him. Refraining from groaning, Kakashi sunk into his chair and began to feign sleeping. He suspected the man would be fully awake in a few minutes. He just wanted to get off this death trap already and with his sanity intact if possible.

With a long suffering sigh, he thought back to his first symphony with Lily.

_Kakashi shifted uncomfortably in his suit. Vernon chuckled beside him and elbowed him lightly, "You better get used to them, you'll be wearing them until you retire," the large man joked. Kakashi laughed weakly in return and was never more thankful to be a ninja. Damn these clothes were uncomfortable and restricting._

_Kakashi watched the Evans family as they finished hugging each other and wiping at their tears. Harold hobbled over to them and shook both of their hands when Vernon and Kakashi greeted him. The Evans sisters came up behind him and Kakashi greeted Petunia with a handshake which she turned into a hug, much to the jounin's surprise. _

_Vernon was chuckling again and Lily had a small smile on her lips that Kakashi could not figure out the meaning behind. Perhaps he didn't want to know what that smile meant. _

"_I'm glad we get to do this," Lily stated as she looped her arm in his. It was Christmas Eve, or well, it was the afternoon on the eve of Christmas. After the symphony the Evans family planned to go out to dinner and then go to some religious service. He had been invited a long, hence the suit. He had also been invited to something called "Boxing Day."_

_Kakashi wasn't sure how to respond to that statement because he did not want to listen to noise or go to another strange religious service. But, this was for Lily and her family during this time of grieving. He remembered how difficult the New Year had been after his teammates were all gone, that was why he drowned himself in work. It made the silence and the loneliness less present, less painful. He hoped this would help them grieve, help the Evans family reconcile with the death of Laurel. _

_So Kakashi looked down at Lily and gave an eye-smile. Of course, now he was looking at her, which meant he began noticing how beautiful she looked, even if sadness echoed in her eyes. Lily wore a simple black dress and had a red shawl around her arms. She wore a silver necklace and silver dangling earrings, but she wore no make-up. He lov-liked that about her, the fact that she never hid how she looked. _

_Ironic, he supposed, he had hid himself behind a mask for most of his life. But perhaps that as why he liked this about her so much? She was proud of her looks and she wasn't trying to deceive anyone like the many kunoichi Kakashi knew. Though…speaking of kunoichi he knew, Lily's hairstyle this evening mimicked a certain purple-haired chuunin he knew – he wondered if she had been promoted in his absence or if T&I accepted her apprenticeship? Regardless, Kakashi liked the hairstyle on Lily, it suited her somehow._

_Petunia was looking at him with amusement dancing in her eyes, he must have been staring. He quirked an eyebrow at her and she just smiled before she twirled around and took her fiancé by his beefy arm. Her green dress had flared out around her and the silvery shawl nearly hit him during the movement. Kakashi gave a quiet laugh and followed after the engaged couple. _

_After two flights of stairs they entered the auditorium on one of the higher levels. Kakashi was momentarily alarmed by the distance from the stage and the pitch at which the rows of seats were set. He could easily imagine tipping forward and over the railings to fall onto the seats below. Of course, he would catch himself with ease – being a ninja and all. Of course there were also preventative measures, such as clear plastic guards built up at the end of the stair ways that split the rows of seats into sections, but still, it was momentarily uncomfortable. _

_They quickly found their row and seats. Harold sat between his girls while Vernon and Kakashi sat on either end of their respective…date? Was that the term? No…that implied something romantic. Well, regardless, Vernon sat beside Petunia and Kakashi sat beside Lily at the end of the row. _

_Soon people dressed in black with shining instruments filtered onto the stage, they were then followed by people carrying wooden instruments of varying sizes. The people sat in an upside down "U" formation, and Lily pointed to the back, inner right part of the U, well from their perspective it was the back right. "Those are the violas" she whispered and then she gestured to the larger instruments to the right, "Those are cellos, and behind the cellos, the really big instruments are upright basses. Chances are the violins," Lily pointed the left side of the U when she said that, "are going to drown out the viola section, along with the cellos."_

_Harold chuckled beside Lily, somehow what she said was funny but Kakashi did not catch the joke, "Very true, Lily-pad." Harold patted her on the arm and smiled fondly, "It's a shame, they have a beautifully rich sound, but you know what your mother always said," he began to chuckle a little weakly. _

_Petunia and Lily gave identical smiles and spoke in unison, "They're damn hard to get sound on," the sisters laughed a little. Kakashi found himself smiling at this as the Evans family laughed softly amongst themselves. Vernon had a slanted smile on his face and he pecked Petunia on the cheek. She in turn smiled back at her fiancé before she settled down to rest her head on his. She did have a taller torso than the man, so that was rather natural for them, Kakashi supposed. _

_One of the metal instruments toward the back of the U stood up and made some sort of noise, shortly after that all of the instruments began to makes noises that were …they had different octaves but the overall pitch was the same. _

"_They're tuning," Lily explained in a whisper and Kakashi nodded. It was like synchronizing attacks he supposed, they had to be on the same page, or well, pitch in this case. Soon the instruments began to make many other noises and a cacophony of noise erupted. "They're still tuning, maybe running through scales to make sure they're in tune," _

_Quickly the "tuning" ended and another man in black walked onto the stage. The people with instruments stood at his entrance and everyone in the auditorium began to clap. Lily looked at him out of the corner of her eye and gestured to her clapping hands with her head. Kakashi caught on quickly and began to clap, but his brow was furrowed. _

_The man they were clapping for, moved to a stand at the front of the upside down U and turned toward the audience. He gave a bow and once he righted himself, the audience stopped clapping. The man then began to talk but Lily was whispering to Kakashi._

"_That's the conductor, he…" Lily pursed her lips in thought and rolled her hand, "He makes sure everyone is playing at the right speed, and he gives them cues for when to play quiet or loud," her eyes narrowed slightly as if trying to remember if she forgot anything. She shook her head and just smiled. _

"_In addition, because it is the holidays, we will be playing selections from Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker."" The conductor seemed to be finished with his speech and turned back around to the other people on the stage. He held a stick in his hand and raised his arms up to his sides. The people on the stage raised most of their instruments either to their shoulders or lips, and those with strange sticks in their hands set them on metal wires of their wooden instruments. _

_Kakashi noted the conductor was making small motions with his arm and then noise erupted from the people on the stage. But it was so cohesive and each instrument had a specific part to play that tied into the other parts. Kakashi tilted his head and watched intently as the wooden instruments moved their bows in synchronicity, at least among their instrument sections. _

_It was…it was teamwork at its finest. Every instrument moved together and had a crucial part in creating this-this organized noise. He supposed he could appreciate that about this useless noise, but the sentimental attachments those around him made to the noise was still baffling. He also didn't understand how it was entertaining._

_Beneath the sound of the symphony, he heard Lily take a deep inhale, as if she was bracing herself. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Her jaw was trembling slightly while her gaze was transfixed on the symphony, Harold did not look much better. Kakashi couldn't see Petunia from this angle and he wanted his observation to be as inconspicuous as possible. _

_So he shifted his gaze back toward the instruments and reached out his hand to hold Lily's hand. She looked at him briefly before she turned back to the stage. He gave a gentle squeeze when she inhaled deeply again. She was fighting against the loss, he could tell because he knew what it felt like._

_Kakashi remembered the first few times he went to the hospital after Rin … and whenever he had to deal with one of the Uchiha police operatives, he felt like he was holding onto his composure with all he had. Already, four-year-old Naruto was painful to see, he was so much like his parents that it knocked the air out of his lungs and he felt submerged in ice water. Then his family home…he couldn't stay there after his father…after… _

_Kakashi tilted his head to rest his cheek against Lily's head, which resulted in her shifting to rest her head against his shoulder. She squeezed his hand back and they stayed the way they were until the conductor stopped waving his arms and turned around toward the audience. The audience was clapping again while the conductor bowed and then gestured for certain people to stand up. _

_Kakashi cocked his head to the side at that and Lily gave a little smile, "they performed solos, meaning," Kakashi nodded his head and dipped his head down to whisper so she could actually hear him._

"_I've done solo missions before, I can infer," he gave a disarming smile to ensure she didn't take his words in offense. Lily didn't seem to take offense and she just nodded. _

"_Did that happen often?" she asked lowly, there was a worried furrow to her brow. Kakashi gave an eye-smile and shrugged in response. Lily's eyes narrowed for a moment but she sighed and looked down, consequently at their entwined hands. Kakashi stiffened marginally when her thumb rubbed against the side of his hand. He looked over at her but she was still focused on their hands. _

_He really should not feel so uncomfortable about this, but still, he found himself swallowing in…in nervousness. Oh Gods, he should just remove himself from this entire situation. Yet he remained where he was sitting, almost in a trance as he looked down at Lily._

_They were startled out of…of whatever that was by a bouncing melody that suddenly began and quickly rose in volume before crashing down and then rising back up in volume. It was…sort of coy, even teasing the way it would build intensity then back off. The noises were so different he could almost imagine they signified two different – no it was just noise it did not have characters. _

"_This goes to a ballet," Lily whispered, and at his raised eyebrow she smiled and laughed softly, "Very artistic dancing that usually tries to convey a story," she stated softly. She laughed quietly again while shaking her head when Kakashi scrunched up his nose. Yes that sounded very interesting, people moving to noise as if they were possessed and that being some form of communication._

"_I wonder how you'd react to an opera." Lily mused aloud, but Kakashi doubted anyone around them could have heard her but him. Again, Kakashi quirked an eyebrow, but Lily just smiled and shook her head._

_She then gestured back to the symphony. Their hands stayed entwined while they listened to the symphony. He supposed he could appreciate the variety of sounds and the level of teamwork involved in this symphony. He could go as far as to say, there was even an attractive quality to the noise, but nevertheless it was noise. It was frivolous and in the world of shinobi he saw no value to it, no reason to be so enthralled with it. Though perhaps one could use this noise as a way to move into a genjutsu but still, when would be the opportunity for it? _

_Kakashi really could not see the point in this noise but he could appreciate the skills involved in making it. So he watched the people on the stage, as they moved in unison and each contributed to a larger product. Kakashi was so focused that he almost didn't notice Lily lowering her head onto his shoulder; moreover, when she began to lazily rub her thumb against his hand, he managed not to express his surprise in any fashion. _

_He could imagine her melancholy expression as she listened to the symphony, most likely thinking of her mother. Indeed, after a few more minutes he could smell salt, and soon felt moisture collecting on his shoulder. He squeezed her hand lightly and gently brushed his own thumb against her hand. Lily squeezed back while she brought her free hand up to her face to wipe at her tears. _

_Kakashi tilted his head to rest his cheek on her head while he continued to brush his thumb against her hand, for the gesture seemed to soothe her. All too quickly the symphony came to an end and the audience clapped until the people on the stage began to pack up their instruments. _

_Kakashi stood up and watched as the Evans family slowly rose from their seats. Vernon had his arm around Petunia. For all his claims about it not being natural for men to be supportive in relationships, he was certainly being supportive now. Harold had a sad smile on his face while he began to move out of the row. Lily took Kakashi's arm and they all made their way out of the auditorium. Once they were in the main entrance, they retrieved their coats. Lily and Kakashi found their coats first and while the others continued to search they stood off to the side._

"_What did you think?" Lily asked softly. Kakashi eye smiled and shrugged._

"_I'm impressed, I suppose but I can't say I like it or, well," he grimaced and shrugged again. Lily shook her head and gave him a hug._

"_Thank you anyways 'Kashi," he imagined she was smiling, but he couldn't see her expression clearly, "Even if you think music's pointless," there was a touch of resignation to her words and Kakashi could not help but grimace again. _

"_I wish I could, Lily," she looked up at him, her brow was furrowed slightly, "but…I just don't see any practicality, and it's because of," Kakashi paused and sighed, "because of the war. I used to only read books related to missions or something I could learn from," Lily was frowning but she still did not pull away him. _

"_It took me many years to view free reading as…something more than frivolous," Kakashi frowned a little while he searched her eyes. They were wide and confusion was clearly shimmering in their depths, he supposed everything he was saying seemed foreign to her. "Reading became an escape," he stated slowly; finally he admitted what he had never said aloud. The world in books, in _Icha Icha,_ was better than reality, because friends weren't crushed in cave-ins and fathers didn't commit suicide because of their son's antagonizing. "I don't think music will become that for me," _

_Lily had her head tilted back to look at him and her mouth parted in clear surprise. "'Kashi…" she whispered and then directed a sad smile toward him. "Thank you for telling me," she whispered again. One of her hands was reaching up toward his face and it may have been his imagination, but her face seemed to be getting closer to his. _

_He tucked his head down and rested his forehead against her forehead. "You're my…best friend, Lily," and he was shocked to find those words were true. She was his first true friend and so far his best friend. He swallowed at the sudden nervous feeling fluttering around inside of him. The hand Lily had been reaching with was now resting against his chest but her other arm hugged him more tightly._

"_Takashi," she bowed her head away from his and tucked it beneath his chin. She seemed at a loss for words, and that was fine with him. He was also at a loss of what to say; however, he did notice that Petunia had her hands covering her mouth and her gaze was fixed securely on them. Harrold was smiling along with Vernon. _

_Oh Gods, he did not want to know what they were thinking. This dinner was going to be awkward. _

And awkward it was! Petunia had kept throwing knowing little looks at them, while Harrold and Vernon had had these stupid smiles that said they thought he liked Lily in a romantic way. He couldn't touch Lily in anyway, no matter how platonic, without sending Petunia into some big-sister-excited-for-her-little-sister mode of barely contained squealing. It was…there was no word for how mortifyingly horrific it was. Kakashi thankfully has never had as awkward of a meal since then.

The religious service had been less awkward but equally unenjoyably, and Lily laughed at him for being tone-deaf. He had never sung before, and yet he was expected to sing these hymnals, whatever the hell those were. He had found the whole service disturbing, and Lily's teasing did not make him feel much better about it. Well, that had been the last time he sang for her.

That whole day may have showed how selfless he could act for Lily, but when Kakashi thought about it; he could not do what James and Severus had for Lily. Hell, he could not let Naruto be taught by someone else, someone better, and he didn't love Naruto the same way he loved Lily.

With people, with relationships, he was selfish; so many people he cared about had died, he couldn't really let anyone else go. Somehow he managed to leave Lily, but…he didn't leave her so that she could be happy, he left her thinking he was dead.

Kakashi clenched the armrest and tried to focus on something else. Because in the end he would always be a selfish bastard, no matter what he subjected to himself to make Lily happy, he ultimately left her in such a horrible way.

_Kakashi's head felt heavy and his limbs felt out of his control. He looked around his flat blearily until he realized someone was knocking on his door. He groaned which hurt his throat more than it already was hurting. He shivered when he sat up because his blanket had fallen from his shoulders. _

_He groaned again, the knocking was so loud and it hurt his head, in fact his head was spinning slightly. Coughing, Kakashi shakily got to his feet. Everything hurt, and not in a I-trained-my-ass-off way. He staggered to the door and opened it up with a little more force than necessary, only to sneeze quite violently at his visitor._

"_Oh my!" Sniffing Kakashi rubbed at his nose and stared blearily at his guest. Lily. Right…it was that Boxing Day thing, wasn't it? Well, being an alley cat in the snow had gotten him sick. Granted, he knew it been coming, but his immune system suddenly crashed, and now he was feeling like death warmed over._

"_Oh, you look so miserable," she stated with a slight laugh. Kakashi did his best to glare at her but he had to sneeze again. He didn't have a lot of mucus coming out through his nose because most of it decided to drain into his stomach. _

_Lily was still laughing at his misery, but she now decided to gently herd him back to his couch/bed. _

_As soon as he was lying, he pulled his blanket over his head to get further warmth. Lily immediately pulled the blanket back down and placed a startling cold hand on his forehead. He whined slightly but she just shook her head and left her hand where it was._

"_You have a pretty high fever," she looked worried which annoyed him._

"_Go away!" he knew he was whining but he hated being sick. His throat hurt all the time and there was snot everywhere. He just wanted to sleep and she just had to be here disrupting his beautiful sleep. _

_Lily laughing at him didn't help matters; "I'm sick, go away," Kakashi tried to swallow but ended up coughing. _

"_That's exactly why I'm not going to go away," she poked him on the nose and he sniffed in response. Before he knew it, in the haze of mucus filled tissues and fevered sleep, Kakashi was being helped into a sitting position and handed a steaming mug of some type of broth. _

"_Where did this come from?" he asked before unconsciously taking a sip. He then did a double take at the person sitting beside him, "I thought you left?"_

_Lily smiled at him and shook her head, "You are just like a little kid when you're sick, it's so cute," she then pointed to the mug in his hand, "I made you chicken noodle soup but I thought this might be easier for you to eat it."_

_He wasn't sure how that was the case but he found himself drinking the salty broth anyways. At the bottom of the mug was the noodles, but he wasn't really hungry. With a heavy arm he set the mug down onto his coffee table. Oh, that was probably why it was in a mug, his arms were too heavy to bother with lifting a spoon to his mouth all the time._

_Satisfied that he knew why he had been given soup in a mug, he fell sideways back onto the couch and burrowed his head into his pillow. Nice, soft, warm pillow. _

_He was in a nice, hazy, warm dream. It felt like he was asleep for forever, except then someone had to wake him up by feeling his forehead. He weakly batted his arm around._

"_Mah!" his tired and fevered brain began to whine in Japanese for whoever was bothering him to just go away. He was sick and he didn't want to be touched or bothered. He was just a lot of mucus right now._

"_Huh?" Gods this person was annoying! He opened his eyes blearily and saw Lily look at him with clear amusement in her eyes. _

"_Lily why are you still here?" the inner part of Kakashi's ear was starting to hurt. "I thought you left after the soup,"_

_She knelt down beside him and looked Kakashi in the eye, "That was ten minutes ago, and I'm going to be soon. 'Kashi you have a really high fever and you're kind of delirious," she smiled at him and felt his forehead with the back of her hand._

"_I hate the weather here, it sucks!" Lily chuckled, why was she laughing, the weather did suck, it got him sick! It's the weather's fault he was miserable and snotty, and his joints hurt from fever!_

"_You'll get used to it," she stated with a soft smile, "Now, I'm going to take your keys so I can come back in and check on you but also keep your apartment locked, okay?" Kakashi just nodded his head and nestled back into his lovely pillow. "I'll be back soon with some fever reducing medicine." Kakashi hummed and burrowed his head further into the pillow until he realized he couldn't breathe that way, so he turned his head more to the side. Once he could breathe, he was asleep before Lily even got to the door. _

Kakashi refrained from smiling because he knew the English man was awake and would then try to talk to him. However, Kakashi really wanted to smile.

He generally acted like a belligerent child when he got sick, especially if he had a high fever. He was very aware of this fact about himself and so he felt sorry for Lily when he got better, but she just laughed it off. Thankfully that had been the only time he had gotten sick while he stayed in London.

He also only celebrated the New Year once in London. That had certainly been interesting.

_Kakashi grimaced as he looked down at the mochi he prepared for the following days. It was sad looking and his osechi wasn't much better. He had some sushi prepared for the next day and it was currently being refrigerated. Why did Lily want him to make traditional dishes for the New Year? If anything turned out right, that would be his store-bought udon noodles. _

_It was ten-thirty and Lily said she would be coming by around that time. Kakashi shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. The dishes looked awful, but there was little he could do about it now. He also wanted to make it up to Lily for being a brat a few days ago when he was sick. He knew he wasn't the most pleasant person when he was sick, Minato-sensei and Kushina-san told him that enough. So he hoped this made up for his behavior, she said it was fine, but Kakashi assumed she was just being nice. _

_Kakashi just finished covering the mochi and osechi with a plastic wrap when someone knocked at his door. He quickly answered the door and was greeted by the sight of Lily wearing a very charming black dress under her coat. He smiled and let her in while he tried not to think how nicely the dress clung to her curves. _

"_You just finished cooking?" she asked with her brow furrowed._

_Kakashi shrugged and rubbed the back of his head, "It's kind of considered bad luck to cook the first few days after the New Year. Most people don't follow that…" Kakashi furrowed his brow and tried a few words, "tradition…superstition…?"He grimaced. He wasn't sure what it was anymore, he himself had never been very involved with the New Year._

_He certainly had never made osechi or the other traditional foods before, for he usually just bought food or ignored the…tradition? He still wasn't sure what to call that…belief? _

"_This is my first time even attempting to adhere to, yeah," he shrugged and ended lamely. He wasn't sure how he was going to finish that sentence. _

_Lily just nodded her head, "So…I learned something interesting today, China and some of the surrounding countries celebrate the New Year on a different day through a different calendar," Kakashi nodded his head. _

"_Yes but for over a century Japan has been following the Gregorian calendar for the New Year, of course some regions still celebrate the New Year based on the lunar calendar," Lily nodded her head in understanding. _

"_Well, thank you for sharing your holiday traditions with me, even if you don't really follow them," she hugged Kakashi and then looked down at his attire. "By the way, you should go change if we are still interested in going with me and Severus to our New Year's Eve gathering."_

_Lily had invited him to accompany her and Severus to a gather of her classmates. Apparently they did not mind that he was a muggle, but he knew this would still be magical gathering so it was possible he might glean some information from them on this war._

"_Mah, you said black, right?" Kakashi began to rummage through his closet before he pulled out a black sweater and slacks. _

"_I'll be right back," he then moved to the water closet and quickly changed. When he came back, he saw Lily was leaning against his sink with a glass of water in her hand while looking at what he had prepared. _

"_It's almost eleven; you said you eat noodles then, right?" Lily asked when she noticed he returned. Kakashi nodded and moved to stand next to her after depositing his clothes back in his closet. "So what are those over there?" she asked while gesturing her head toward the osechi and mochi._

"_Oh, some rice cakes and osechi," Lily gave him a questioning look and he grimaced, "I'm not sure how to describe osechi but it has some seaweed, fishcakes, sweet potatoes and other things in it," Kakashi grimaced again, that did not really do justice to the dish. _

"_They look interesting," Lily commented while smiling.  
_

_Kakashi laughed weakly and shrugged, "First time making those dishes," Lily thanked him but Kakashi decided to busy himself with reheating the udon and just waved his hand._

"_Mah, it was the very least I could after, well…"he laughed weakly and gave Lily a chagrin, "I have apologized for being a brat while sick, right?" Lily rolled her eyes and pushed his arm playfully._

"_You don't need to apologize, you had a really bad fever," She paused and gave him a sly smile, "Beside, it was cute how you acted like a kid," she teased which caused him to snort in amusement._

"_Oh yes, a nineteen-year-old acting like a belligerent kid is very cute," He looked at her with his usual deadpan expression and Lily laughed._

"_Oh come one 'Kashi," she pushed on his arm slightly, "you're so serious all the time, it was refreshing to see you act that way," Kakashi looked at Lily with his eyebrow raised while he dished the udon into two bowls. _

_Lily directed her own deadpan expression at him before she elaborated what she meant, "Takashi, I know you act more laidback than you really are," the jounin kept his reaction in check and continued to look at Lily with a raised eyebrow. _

"_That right there, 'Kashi," she pointed at him, "You are alarmed but you aren't showing it. I know you are constantly on edge, that you survey every new setting for escape routes and potential dangers," Kakashi's expression faltered and he regarded Lily with his usual stoic visage. Why did she know that? Did she suspect him to be a spy or something? Why was she so certain?_

_She reached out a hand and held onto his arm, "Listen, 'Kashi, it's reasonable considering your childhood and your role in the war. I mean, Severus does the same exact things because of his childhood, though the situation was different," Lily frowned, but continued on "I know you're guarded and perceptive, I told you that from the beginning, but I don't want you to be afraid because I know that," she rubbed his arm with her thumb and looked at him with those green eyes filled with understanding and acceptance. _

_Kakashi swallowed and bowed his head. She knew him so well that it did frighten him, yet it was also reassuring. He pulled her into a hug and she held him just as tightly as he held her. Lily eventually turned her head to the side and gave a surprised noise._

"_Ah! It's almost eleven!" Kakashi pulled back and chuckled weakly. He handed Lily her bowl and some chopsticks. At eleven they began to eat and Lily chewed at the udon thoughtfully. She was tucked into his side while they leaned against his sink. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at the expression but she only smiled after swallowing. _

"_It's different, but not bad," she reassured them and they quickly finished their bowl of noodles. With that done, Kakashi grabbed his coat, stocking hat, gloves, and scarf. He was sick of this weather here, but he'd make damn sure he wasn't going to get sick again. He was used to warmer weather, that was for sure. _

_After a twenty or so minutes they reached an apartment complex outside of which Severus was waiting. He smiled at Lily and nodded to Kakashi. _

"_Cutting it a little close?" he asked and glared at Kakashi, the jounin just eye-smiled in response. _

"_It New Year's Eve for 'Kashi too," Lily stated as she looped her arms in both of their arms, "And I wanted to make sure he got to celebrate his traditions too," Severus just hummed. _

_In a matter of no time they were climbing stairs and soon entered a flat with several couples and children running about. _

"_Lily Evans!?" Lily perked up at being called on by such a friendly voice. _

_Her eyes alighted on a young, round-faced woman or witch, Kakashi supposed. "Alice?!" Lily let go of "her boys" and hugged the woman who then showed Lily her left hand._

_Lily grasped her hand and stared down in awe at the ring glittering on her finger, "I'm Alice Longbottom now," Alice giggled. _

_Lily gave a high pitched excited noise and hugged her friend, Kakashi was glad he wasn't the only one who winced at the sound, for Severus also grimaced._

_The two witches pulled apart and Severus moved to greet Alice. She regarded him coldly but still shook his hand, "It's good to see you again Severus," _

"_And you, Alice. I should congratulate you on your marriage," she nodded and thanked him before she set her eyes on Kakashi and smiled. _

"_Lily, I heard you may have dumped James, but wow, no wonder," her eyes looked Kakashi up and down and he suddenly felt very uncomfortable, in fact his brain seemed to shut down for a moment at the blatant-ness of it all. _

"_I'm Lily's friend," he blurted out in a panic. Severus, the bastard, was snickering at his discomfort while Lily tried to hide the fact she was laughing. "Oh, look at that, thirty minutes to midnight," he directed an eye smile at Severus, who stopped chuckling and shook his head. _

"_No, Mr. Hatake" damn, the man knew what he was going to ask, well perhaps it didn't help that he seemed to ask the man for a chess match whenever a situation had the potential to turn very ugly or uncomfortable. _

"_But Mr. Snape," Alice's suddenly loud laughter caused him to break off. _

"_They are just adorable together," she commented._

"_Yeah, they are, my boys," Lily chirped while directing a pleased smile at them. _

"_Let's go find the alcohol," Severus stated and grabbed Kakashi's arm, which resulted in more cackling from Alice Longbottom._

_They found it sure enough, and though Kakashi wasn't going to partake in any alcohol consumption, he just wanted to get away from that witch. Kakashi leaned against the wall next to the alcohol table and watched Severus pour himself some type of whiskey. He was about to pour another glass when Kakashi held up his hand._

"_No thank you Mr. Snape, I don't drink," Severus raised an imperious brow at this and nodded his head. _

"_And why is that, Mr. Hatake?" Severus moved to the other side of the table and leaned on the wall next to him. The wizard's beady eyes immediately locked onto Lily who was now talking to several other women. _

"_Mah, just a little allergic," Severus coughed slightly on his drink in surprise. _

"_That's possible?" Kakashi nodded his head, "Then what do you take to, to cope with the war?" Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at that and looked at the man sharply. He saw it then: the instability, the questioning, the stress; it reminded Kakashi of looking in the mirror after a mission._

"_I admit, after having to kill someone I've gone to the bottle, but I've found other coping methods. You'll find your own someday," he was pleased to see the way Severus's eyes widened and his jaw tightened. _

"_What makes you believe I've killed someone?" Severus whispered lowly and in an almost deadly tone. _

"_Because it fucks you up, for lack of a better term," Severus merely raised an eyebrow and let Kakashi elaborate, "It kills part of you, trust me," especially when he killed Rin…he had just seen no way out! "Whatever you're a part of, you should be careful," Severus's gaze narrowed further but they were interrupted by giggling._

_Looking down they saw two children, perhaps four or five years old, looking up at them with their hands behind their backs. _

"_Why are those things staring at us?" Kakashi asked Severus in a low whisper._

"_I don't know…maybe they'll leave if…we don't acknowledge them," Severus answered while keeping the children in his peripherals. _

_One of the kids began to pull on Kakashi's pant leg, "Mister, mister, why's your hair so messy?"_

"_It's touching me," he whispered to Severus with his whole body tensed. The other kid was now tugging on Severus's pant leg and he too tensed._

"_Mister, mister, why's your hair so long?"_

"_They aren't going away," Severus whispered back. _

_Taking a deep breath, Kakashi prepared to bite the bullet. He bent his knees and rested on the ball of his feet. This was such a natural position for him. He could flee across the room quiet easily from this crouch. _

_Kakashi gave the two kids an eye-smile, "I guess my hair's always been messy," he stated with an overly cheerful tone, "and Mr. Snape must like having long hair, but guess what?" the two kids looked at Kakashi with wide eyes, "I know a guy with hair down to his bottom!" the kids' eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their head. _

"_Oh, look!" Kakashi gestured to a colorful yellow ball on the other side of the room, "There's a ball over there, why don't you to go play fetch with it or something?" Kakashi then popped back up when the kids ran away._

"_Play fetch or something?" Severus asked him in disbelief. _

"_Well…what do kids play?"_

"_Kids aren't dogs," Severus drawled, amused. _

"_I'm aware of that…."Severus scoffed at the uncertain tone Kakashi used, "Well, they play in mud and make a lot of noise, and trash rooms just like dogs, right?"_

"_I'm afraid for your children." _

"_Well I didn't see you do anything," Kakashi retorted, and they regarded each other seriously for a moment before they both began to chuckle. It was nice to joke like this. It felt easy. Their relationship was much smoother after the James incident, perhaps they had come to a truce?_

_However, their amiable atmosphere soon faltered with the arrival of several men._

"_Snape," one man stated with a nod of his head._

"_Longbottom," Severus looked to the other men gathered around them._

"_This is Douglass, Sarah's husband," Longbottom gestured to a plan looking man._

_Douglas nodded at them, "Hello, and did one of you tell my son and nephew to paly fetch?" Severus snickered into his glass and Kakashi rubbed his head sheepishly._

"_Children are not my forte," Kakashi confessed and did his best impersonation of Minato-sensei._

_Douglass laughed and clapped him on the back, "They aren't mine either, but don't tell me wife," Kakashi did not know why the men began laughing but he joined in as well. _

_Longbottom then introduced a dark-skinned man who had come over with them, "Joffrey, I believe you know Mr. Snape," the man in question nodded to Severus. _

"_Yes, I believe I was in the year above you, Severus was it?" Severus nodded and shook the man's hand._

"_Joffrey Fellow, you were in my House," the man nodded and smiled. _

"_Yes, I married a fine young secretary at an upcoming law-firm," he gestured toward a dark-skinned woman talking with Lily and the others, "Annabel's her name. We're planning to have a kid soon, maybe within the next year. If it's a boy, I'm hoping to name him Dean," _

"_Congratulations on your marriage, and good luck" Severus murmured. _

_Longbottom nodded his head and looked intently at Kakashi who had been quite content to just observe their interactions, "And you're Lily's new boyfriend?" the man held out his hand but Kakashi had frozen up, "Frank Longbottom."_

_Kakashi blinked a few times before he accepted the hand shake, "Takashi Hatake; however, I'm afraid you're confused. I'm just Lily's friend," Severus was smirking beside him. Kakash would bet the earnings of an A-rank mission that Severus found Kakashi's discomfort amusing. _

"_What kind of name is that?" Douglass asked. _

"_I'm from Japan," Kakashi gave an eye-smile. _

"_You were born in Vietnam," Severus countered with his brow furrowed, was the man really now looking for faults in his story?_

"_But I'm a citizen of Japan now," Kakashi retorted just as evenly as Severus had spoken. _

_Frank interjected here, "You say you aren't Lily's boyfriend, but I thought she broke up with James?"_

"_I'm really just a friend," Kakashi eye-smiled again and Severus began to smirk at the reminder of James being dumped. Of course the sadistic prick would enjoy remembering that. _

"_What happened between them again?" Frank asked, clearly fishing for answers. _

"_It's not my business," of course while Kakashi was saying this Severus had to speak as well._

"_She realized he was a cruel jerk," Kakashi gave Severus his most deadpan expression and stared at him._

"_That is not something we are at liberty to disclose," he stated, not once did he blink or change expression. Severus was matching his stare; however a tick began to form under his right eye. _

_Kakashi then eye-smiled and cocked his head to the side, "Five minutes until midnight!" he stated cheerfully. Severus and Joffrey quirked an eyebrow at Kakashi's sudden change in demeanor, while the Frank and Douglass laughed. _

"_Do you know what our culture does at midnight?" Severus asked suddenly, he had an imperious smile in place._

"_Hmm?" Kakashi shrugged and continued to eye smile. _

"_Typically you kiss someone at midnight," Severus stated with amusement in his voice._

"_What?" Kakashi's expression turned into disbelief which garnered a few more laughs from the men around them._

"_Why, what do they do in Japan when the ball drops?" Kakashi was relieved that he was not the only one confused by Douglass's expression. Perhaps it was a muggle expression?_

"_Uh…?" Douglass laughed at Kakashi's confused expression and elaborated._

"_Well, a ball is lowered for the New Year, it's really spectacular, we'll watch it on the tellie when the time comes near," the man stated and Kakashi nodded his head._

"_Can't say I'm familiar with that," Kakashi eye-smiled again and shrugged. He saw Severus roll his eyes. _

"_Well that's a shame," Douglass stated, "I'll just set the tellie up if it's that close to time," the man then wandered over to the, Kakashi believed the device was called, television and turned it on. _

_Kakashi looked at the device curiously._

"_You've never seen one of those things?" Joffrey asked cautiously. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow and regarded the man._

"_Well, I was from a poor and rather isolated village, so most technology is still new to me," Kakashi again eye-smiled._

"_Really? I thought Japan was going through a technological boom?" why was Severus constantly trying to find faults in Kakashi's back story. Kakashi fixed Severus with a bored stare._

"_I was moved to provincial Japan, which was strange enough of a move for me. I also had a hard enough time with electricity and appliances that I'm quite happy I didn't have to deal with television," Kakashi then quirked an eyebrow as he waited for whatever Severus would say next._

_Severus merely hummed and regarded, what Kakashi assumed to be, the two wizards in front of him. "And how have you two been? Longbottom, I heard you were doing research of some sort?"_

_Frank nodded and looked at Kakashi for moment but did not elaborate. "I think I'll just," Kakashi pointed across the room and moved over there, he then did his best to eaves drop while he greeted the woman around Lily. _

"_My research in charms has been going well, though Lily-"_

"_Hi, you're Lily's new friend, I'm Sarah, the host," Kakashi greeted the woman with an eye smile. _

"_Takashi Hatake," He was then introduced to Annabel before the women went back to their conversation. _

"_So why did you marry a muggle?" Severus asked someone, probably Joffrey._

"_You-Know-Who was starting to get too intense for me. I don't feel quite comfortable in the wizarding world anymore," Joffrey replied._

"_I'm hearing that from a lot of people," Frank stated._

"_Yes, he's become quite radical, who knows what the 'Dark Lord' will deem inappropriate to keep living," Severus's voice dripped with sarcasm when he said "dark lord."_

"_I heard he gained the favor of the werewolves," Joffrey whispered nervously. Severus scoffed._

"_He gained Fenir Greyback and his pack, that's hardly the whole population of that cursed lot." _

"_Um…'Kashi?" Kakashi blinked at the hand being waved in front of him. He then realized the women were staring at him and Lily looked both amused but also worried._

"_You okay there? Annabel had asked you a question," Kakashi blinked and gave his best Obito-after-showing-up-late expression._

"_Mah, I'm sorry Annabel, I was lost in thought," he gave chagrin and laughed slightly. Lily looked at him curiously but then began to smile. He wasn't sure what exactly her expression meant. _

"_I asked what company you hope work with in the future?" the dark-skinned woman smiled at him kindly and he eye-smiled in return._

"_Ah, I'm not sure yet, but I've been looking into some technology companies that need sales representatives," Lily hummed at his response and nodded her head. She then turned back to Annabel._

"_You said you had a sister in primary school education?" Lily asked the woman who nodded her head quickly. _

"_Yes, would you like to meet her?" Lily smiled and nodded her head._

_Alice was frowning, "Lily, dear, are you sure you want to become a teacher, you have such a promising career ahead of you in research," _

_Lily gave a sad smile, "I'm sure, Alice. I just," she sighed and rested her head against Kakashi's shoulder. _

"_Ah! Everyone, they're going to drop the ball soon," Douglass stated which broke the conversation circles up and brought everyone around the TV. The two kids from earlier were yawning on the couch but they looked excited. _

_Kakashi joined in on the countdown and once this overly decorated ball had "dropped." The couples turned to each other kissed. Severus kissed Lily on the cheek and she kissed him on his cheek. Lily then turned to Kakashi who began to shy away backwards. However, he ended up getting a peck on the cheek and gave her one back. _

_Kakashi then watched in amusement and Sarah and Douglass scooped up the children and put them to sleep. There were choruses of Happy New year and as everyone settled down onto chairs and couches, Kakashi had to admit this New Year celebration was quite nice. _

Kakashi bit his cheek to keep from smiling. They had stayed at Sarah's home for several hours after that, and played several games he was actually familiar with. Severus was quite terrible at doing charades but he was brilliant at figuring out what people meant. Over all, it had been relaxing.

He and Lily had met up again with Annabel and Joffrey a few more times during his stay; mostly because Annabel's sister and Lily became friends and then they were invited to Annabel's baby shower. Gods, Lily loved teaching at that primary school. She ended up working at the same school Annabel's sister did, and in place of a woman on maternity leave. When he left, she had been hoping for a fulltime position.

"Attention passengers, this is your pilot speaking," Kakashi opened his eyes reluctantly, "It appears we will be landing earlier than scheduled. We will reach the airport in another twenty minutes."

"Thank Gods," Kakashi whispered and was about to shut his eyes again when the Englishman beside him began to chuckle.

"Really don't like flying do you?" Kakashi gave the man a deadpan look. The English man laughed nervously but Kakashi did not stop staring at him, eventually the fat man began to twitch and squirm under the jounin's bored look.

"You will leave me in peace for the rest of this flight, are we clear?" the man swallowed thickly and nodded feebly. Kakashi then eye-smiled and sat back in his seat, "Good," With that he pulled up the blinds and looked at the cloudy landscape.

* * *

_**A Suivre**_

* * *

_****_**A/N:  
**What? not going to be in the airplane anymore! Yep, but don't worry the format will be the same. Also there's some symbolism as to why he's now in England for the rest of this, you'll probably figure it out quick enough when I finally post the next chapter. Hope you liked it ~ depressedchildren


	7. Chapter 6: Reminisces and Searching Pt 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** awkward situations, death, swearing, Death Eaters, and cafes

**A/N:** I'm updating this sooner than I would like **because **I won't be able to update until finals are over (or at least I shouldn't update until finals are over). So there will be some rough patches, especially since some of this was older writing (like I wrote it before the bookstore scene) and it may not jive as well as other parts. Regardless, please enjoy! **ALSO** right off the bat will be a claim that hasn't been explained yet, though it has been hinted at, just wait a few chapters for it to be fully explained. You'll probably know what I'm talking about. Again, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites.~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

* * *

**_Chapitre 6: Etre amis et plus que des amis_**

* * *

Kakashi sighed in relief when he left the airport with his bag in hand. Gods did it feel good to walk again, and be in the fresh air. He smiled sadly as he looked around at the various couples and families hugging in goodbye or hello. He remembered Lily hugging him by that sign, just over there. She was crying a little. Severus was with her, he just nodded his head to Kakashi. It was a little ironic his two closest friends, even to this day, ended up being civilian magic users.

Kakashi was about to head in the direction of Lily's London apartment when his stomach began to growl. It was still early and he could use a good meal. Smiling, he moved toward the coffee shop he and Lily used to visit frequently. Lily…

_After the New Year, the tension between them seemed to grow exponentially. Within the span of a week they had almost kissed three or four times. It was almost too much for him. Just sitting side by side after their self-defense sessions usually resulted with one, or both of them, suddenly jumping away from the other. The tension was culminating and Kakashi frankly, was not in the least bit surprised by what happened at Petunia and Vernon's wedding. _

_February 18__th__, almost six months, to the day, since he left Konoha and he was terribly home sick. However, Vernon and Petunia had invited him to their wedding, a wedding in which Lily was the maid of honor. Kakashi found himself, to his own surprise, incredibly happy for his friend, who when they first met had been afraid that she wouldn't be there for her sister's big day. _

_She looked stunning in the bridesmaid dress and she was so happy…not once did Lily stop smiling. She watched her sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law say their vows with rapt attention. Just seeing her big sister so happy made Lily happy. It was amazing to Kakashi to see this. _

_Konoha was still working to recover from the Kyuubi attack and the War; many were too busy grieving for their lost loved ones, and then others still had no time for happy occasions - at least that was the case with Kakashi's comrades. Kakashi supposed this must be what it was like to be a civilian, to be allowed to relax and celebrate and love it all. _

_Kakashi ended up sitting next to Harold at the Evans' request, which was slightly awkward but also difficult. It was difficult because the man was clearly mourning for his wife. He tried to be supportive to the man, but Kakashi was constantly at a loss of what to say when he talked about: "Laurel would have loved this," "That was Laurel's favorite color," "She'd have loved seeing our girls together like this again," and other such comments. _

_Similarly, at the reception, Kakashi was seated next to Harold at a table with Vernon's relatives. The large woman that was unmistakably Vernon's sister, grated on Kakashi's nerves with each wobble of her jowls. If he had thought Vernon was inappropriate and marginally racist, Kakashi was not sure what to call the repulsive woman sitting at his other side. It was clear Harold felt similarly. This Marge woman was just - if she made another "disguised" racial slur at him, the jounin was not sure if he could be held culpable for his actions. _

_Other than seating arrangements, the reception was tasteful, the food was decent and the noi-music was charming. Lily watched with adoration as her father and sister danced the opening song, which apparently was one of Laurel's favorites, if he discerned the sad smiles on the Evans family's faces. Then Lily watched in awe as Vernon and Petunia took their first dance as a married couple. Thankfully Harold was sitting with him again and he could have a valid reason to ignore the mustached bitch beside him. _

_Harold clapped after his son-in-law and daughter sat back down at the head table. Marge seemed to finally give up talking to Kakashi and was now talking with her parents. Thus Harold could talk to Kakashi without fear of the inappropriate woman interrupting. _

_Harold looked down at his champagne glass when other couples began to make their way onto the dance floor. Kakashi masked his wince by taking a sip of water. The man likely wished he could be dancing with his wife again, yet he obviously could not pass the night like all the other couples were._

"_You know, Takashi," Harold began as he fingered the flute stem. "If it wasn't for you, I don't think Lily would be up at that table, or that they'd be this happy," he stated and looked at Kakashi with a steady gaze that somehow made Kakashi feel a little intimidated. Marge was eying them interestedly but at least she held her tongue._

_In his discomfort, Kakashi decided to eye-smile and shrug, "I can't say I really know what you're talking about, sir-Harry." Harold laughed at his grimace and that he forgot to call Harold by his nickname._

"_You may not know this yet about my little girls," he gestured to the sister's talking together at the head table. "But they can be stubborn, Petunia more so than Lily. Their relationship was really strained when they were little. Petunia wanted to protect her baby sister from everything but when she couldn't…" Harold frowned. "Well…she changed the anger at herself to anger at Lily for going to that school…or at least that's how I see._

"_But somehow you got them to reach back out to each other, so… thank you," Harold nodded his head again, and Kakashi ducked his head. He could practically feel Harold's amused gaze and Marge's curious look._

"_You know, I didn't mind that Potter boy, but he hurt Lily when he tore apart her friendship with that Spinner's End boy. But you, you I like," Harold nodded again and Kakashi found himself gapping at the man. _

"_Wha…? I-uh, nn," he was almost thankful when Petunia and Vernon arrived at their table to save him from Marge's laughter and Harold's clear amusement._

"_You should go dance with Lily," Petunia stated with a smile, though he could almost see a threat hidden under it. _

"_I don't know how to-"_

"_Lily will teach you," Petunia interrupted and grabbed Kakashi's arm. Vernon had his other arm and Harold was now laughing along with Marge. Before he had a chance to protest, Kakashi was standing in front of Lily who was shaking her head at her sister's actions but she laughed none the less. _

"_Tunney," Lily still got up around the head table and stood in front of Kakashi. So there they stood on the dance floor, that damn tension heavy between them. Lily took up Kakashi's left hand and he placed his right one on her shoulder blade._

"_You know I can't dance," Kakashi stated with a bored expression, damn the bride and groom for putting him into this mess, though it actually might be better than sitting at the table and waiting for a slur from Marge, or another awkward comment courtesy of Harold. Lily laughed and rolled her eyes._

"_I recall you picking up the waltz pretty fast," she had a very pleased expression on her face, especially when they began to sway to the noise playing. _

"_Mah, but this isn't a waltz song, is it?" Kakashi eye-smiled and was poked in the chest for his comment. _

"_No, it isn't but there's really not much to the two-step, you'll pick it up just as quickly as the waltz," she assured. Kakashi gave a long suffering sigh which caused Lily to roll her eyes. _

_Apparently, he had no escape except running away, which would only bite him in the end. So, Kakashi just watched the others around them and began to pick up what this kind of dancing was. He mimicked the other dancers and soon Lily was laughing in delight. _

"_See! You are a fast learner," she laughed again after he spun her out and back in. Kakashi resumed the hold and sighed again. _

"_Yes, yes, I'm a fast learner," at her mock glare he laughed, "You know, I just watched what they were doing," he gestured to the other dancers and spun her in place. _

_The bridesmaid dress flared out like the petals of a flower. Kakashi noted that Vernon and Petunia looked very pleased with themselves. Damn them and their plotting; what with those numerous dinners and the constant interrogations to see if he was "deserving" of Lily, and of course dragging him onto the dance-floor…_

_They came back together after the spin and Lily looked up at him with her emerald eyes shining. Her face was flushed from the dancing and she was breathing a little quicker. Her mouth was stretched in a smile and by the end of the song she was standing up on her tip-toes and Kakashi was bending down to meet her. _

_When he realized he was kissing her he froze but then he felt her press against his lips a little harder and he caved in. What was the worst that could happen? His mind supplied several thousands of images, but somehow he was able to ignore it with one image of how happy Minato-sensei and Kushina-san were together. A chance to be as happy as they were…it made him not care about the consequences, even if only for a moment. _

_When they broke apart from the kiss, Kakashi noted that Petunia had her hands clasped in front of her to hide her smile while Vernon was grinning broadly at them. He didn't want to see what expression Harold was making and he__** really**__ did not want to see what expression Marge was making. _

_Lily looked embarrassed but pleased and Kakashi just pushed his hands into his pockets. She looped her arm in his and led him outside of the reception hall via French doors. She sighed into the cold air and turned around to face Kakashi with a bright smile, her hands moved to hold his, which Kakashi allowed._

"_Takashi, I would like to be more than friends," she whispered as she laced their fingers together and looked down at them. _

"_Lily…" he whispered back, it was neither encouraging nor discouraging. "You know my past…and you have Severus," she looked up at him with her brow furrowed. He was going to give her every chance to get out of this because he knew he'd only hurt her when he had to go back to Konoha. Maybe…maybe he could work something out the Hokage, but somehow he doubted that would work._

"_Severus is like a brother to me, 'Kashi. You're my best friend too but…" she moved her lips together in thought, consequently rubbing her lipstick a little more, "but I'm attracted to you and feel so…" she moved closer to him and removed one of her hands to place it against his chest, "so safe and comfortable with you."_

_Kakashi moved his free hand to wrap around her as she placed her head against his chest. "You're my best friend," Lily whispered._

"_You're my best friend too," and Kakashi was still shocked to find his statement true. Perhaps he wanted a romantic relationship with her, but regardless, she would always be his best friend first._

_They stayed there for a moment, but the chill air, made Kakashi break the moment. _

"_We should go inside, it's too cold to stay out here," Lily reluctantly nodded and began to retract herself from Kakashi, but when she tried to unlace their fingers Kakashi gave her hand a gentle squeeze and bent his head down, "If you're sure…" _

_Lily wore a goofy smile the rest of the night and Kakashi could not stop from smiling either; however, his smile was more subtle than the one Lily bore. He shouldn't have agreed, but part of him selfishly wanted the happiness he knew Lily Evans could bring him. He wanted to be happy like Minato-sensei and Kushina-san had been. He wanted a deep and meaningful relationship he doubted anyone but Lily could give him. _

_Before the night was over he had to face Harold, who had been grinning at him whenever they made eye contact. "Sir, Harry, um…" Kakashi grimaced and Harold laughed, "I'd like to date your daughter?"_

"_About damn time," Kakashi felt his mouth drop open in shock at the response. Harold laughed loudly again, "I told you I liked you best, and you've been a good friend to my little Lily-pad. I'm just glad you finally decided to get together," he then jerked his head toward the dance floor where Lily was leaning against the head table and talking excitedly to her sister, "Lily loves dancing, and I expect you to treat her right."_

_Kakashi gave a feeble laugh, much like he remembered Minato-sensei giving when he was uncomfortable. He then bowed his head and moved back toward Lily._

"_Did the old man give you a death threat?" Vernon asked when Kakashi drew near._

"_Was he supposed?" Kakashi asked with a frown. Vernon laughed in return. _

"_Maybe he just knows you won't hurt my baby sister," Petunia suggested with a teasing smile. Kakashi felt heat rise up on his cheeks and he ducked his head. Lily rolled her eyes at her brother-in-law and sister. _

"_What is with people worrying about me getting hurt?" Lily then grabbed Kakashi by his arm. "Come on, I love this song,"_

_The song was kind of fast and some of the other dancers were doing a different kind of dance, but he just continued doing whatever the hell he had been doing. _

_Lily was humming along to the song and before long she began to sing with it, "The night's~ magic seems to whisper~ and hush. You know the soft~ moonlight seems to shine in your place. Can I just have one more moon dance with you," she stopped singing and began to laugh when he spun her out. _

_Because of how fast the song was, at least in comparison to the songs they had been dancing to, they danced much closer than they had before. It felt so intimate. Kakashi could not help but smile into Lily's hair when an instrument solo took over the song. The singing resumed and he would spin her periodically. As the song was winding down, Kakashi braved an ending he had seen the other's doing, and so lowered his arms with Lily in them. When he pulled her back upright, she kissed him._

"_And who taught you how to dip?" she asked against his lips. Kakashi shrugged and kissed her back. _

_For the rest of the night they danced together, and he was not threatened by Harold. By the end of the evening, he walked Lily back to her apartment. They shared another kiss at her door and wished each other a good night. _

_As Kakashi walked through the streets toward his home, he kept touching his gloved fingers to his lips. Was he doing the right thing? It was too late now to tell her they should be just friends, but damn it! Kakashi was selfish, he knew this, and he wanted to curse himself for what he would put Lily through when he had to leave. _

_But he was so happy with Lily, and he felt so stable. Was it so bad to want this now, even though he would probably break her heart when he had to leave? He paused in an alley he used as a shortcut to his place. He glared at the ground and slammed his fist against the brick wall next to him. A few pieces of brick broke off and crumpled to the ground._

_He shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't. He licked his lips and tasted what could have only been Lily on them. His resolve crumbled. He was a selfish bastard and he'd resign himself to being such. _

Kakashi peered around the café as he waited for his food. The establishment had changed slightly, new furniture, a new coat of paint, new staff, but the view and atmosphere remained the same. Kakashi sighed and rested his head on his hand with his elbow propped on the table.

He couldn't help but wonder if Lily was happy. He couldn't help but curse his younger self for getting involved with the witch romantically. Still, he wouldn't change it because time can't be changed.

If he could change the past, everything with Obito would have been done differently, everything with the Uchiha's would have been handled differently, everything with Lily would have stayed the same but he'd threaten resignation if the Hokage didn't let her come live with him. He would have protected her, he would have explained everything…or so he'd like to think.

Kakashi thanked the waiter when he set down his food, and despondently, Kakashi began to pick at it. He'd rather not think of the consequences anymore, or what could have changed. Reflecting and living in the past was better than pointless musings about changing it.

_Their first date as a couple had been interesting. Lily had come to their self-defense session with a Tupperware container and a bag of groceries. She put the container in the refrigerator and set the bag on the counter. At his quirked eyebrow she laughed._

"_I thought we could make dinner together, though I already made desert," she stated. She then moved into his bathroom and changed into her workout clothes. Those short shorts and the tight shirt, he almost grimaced. Time to test his self-restraint again. _

_They did a few warm up exercises: abs, arms, and legs. Once their muscles were warmed up Kakashi began to review with her the holds and moves he had showed her. Once that was done he decided to teach her a little taijutsu, nothing threatening to the secrecy of his village, it was the standard academy tiajutsu. _

_After an hour they ended with stretches and Lily smiled at him, "I'm starting to develop muscle!" _

"_That's good, but didn't you have muscle to begin with?" Kakashi teased which caused Lily to glare at him playfully. _

"_So… what kind of meal were you hoping to make?" Kakashi asked, and Lily just smiled._

"_Make whatever comes to mind with the ingredients we have," Lily smiled again before she finished her last stretch and reached out for Kakashi's hand to be helped up. "By the way, you still haven't showed me these so called ridiculous balancing exercises," Kakashi raised an eyebrow before he recalled the conversation she was referring to. _

"_Very well, get the ingredients out," Kakashi then took his shirt off and got into a handstand before moving to balance on his fingertips. He then balanced on one finger from each hand. He was pumping chakra into his finger to keep it from breaking, but otherwise it was entirely his core muscles keeping him "upright"._

_Kakashi then flipped back onto his feet and moved to the couch which he began doing lazy flips and back bends along the top of the back rest. _

_He landed at the other end and heard Lily clapping slowly. He bowed then and straightened. She looked at him in awe, her mouth hanging open slightly. "If I had a chair I would balance on the back rest of it but…" Lily shook her head and turned back the groceries she had begun to unload._

"_Why do you keep taking your shirt off?" Lily asked. _

_Kakashi refrained from making a suggestive or teasing comment; he wasn't ready to bring that into their new relationship, "It will obscure my vision," he stated as he threw his shirt back on._

"_Then tuck it into your pants," Lily reasoned._

"_Then it restricts my movement," He moved to look at the ingredients before him. Lily shook her head but she was smiling. Kakashi hummed at what he saw laid out on the table. _

"_I haven't cooked much with chicken," Lily smiled at his confession._

"_That's alright, I'll cook the chicken what else will we have with it," she moved toward the oven and turned it on._

"_Well, what will you be putting on it?" Kakashi asked as he continued to examine the ingredients._

"_I figured a little rosemary and lemon along with salt and pepper," Kakashi furrowed his brow and shrugged._

"_It will mostly taste like lemon, right?" She nodded to his question, "I have just the dish then." They then began washing their hands and preparing the meal. _

_Lily followed Kakashi's instructions and they worked well together in the small kitchenette. Which he was thankful for because if she had been as bossy as Petunia, he wasn't sure what he would have done. Before long they were kneeling at the coffee table and began to eat. This time Lily had brought forks and knives. _

"_Vernon and Petunia will be moving into their new home at the end of the week. They had to wait on a few legal things for the deal to go all the way through, but by the time they get back from the honeymoon they will be proud owners of their very own house."_

"_I take it they're excited?" Lily nodded in response to his question._

"_I was going to help them unpack, would you like to join me?" her question was so innocent yet Kakashi imagined a repeat of when he helped Lily move into her apartment. Oh Gods…yet maybe he could work with Lily or Vernon instead of Petunia, he could handle that._

"_Why not?" Kakashi shrugged and smiled at her, though his mind continued to flash back to that horrible day in Lily's kitchen. _

"_Great," Lily took another bite of food and sipped some water before she spoke again. "Have you ever seen a movie before?" _

_Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at the question, and slowly shook his head while he chewed. Lily hummed and took another bite of her food. Once Kakashi swallowed he asked, "Why? Did you want to go to one?" Kakashi paused for a moment and gave a sheepish smile, "What's a "movie"?"_

_Lily smiled and took a sip of water, "Hard to describe…Do you know what a play is?"_

_Kakashi cocked his head to one side; he had seen traditional performances, well glimpses of them while on bodyguard missions. He didn't really understand those performances, but then he had only seen short disjointed segments. From what it looked like, plays told stories. "Yes…"_

_Lily's eyes shone with amusement, "You don't sound too sure?" her smile was playful and Kakashi shrugged._

"_I've only seen glimpses of traditional performances," Lily hummed and nodded her head while Kakashi took another bite of food, it looked like she was going to give him an explanation._

"_Well, plays tell stories, pretty much," Lily paused for a moment and gave Kakashi a thoughtful look, "Have you read any Shakespeare?" _

"_I tried. I couldn't understand the language. I think I'm missing some cultural understanding or… something," Kakashi furrowed his brow. He really had tried reading some of that William Shakespeare's books, but the language confused him. It was so different from what he had learned prior to coming to London, yet it was still the same language. Half of what was written in it didn't make sense when he read it and Kakashi felt like he was missing something._

"_It's an older version of English, so a lot of the words have changed meaning or don't exist anymore," that would make a lot of sense, Kakashi hummed. It is really challenging to read his plays but I think you can do." Lily took a sip of water and then her eyes grew wide in excitement, "How about we read some of his plays together?"_

_Lily looked rather excited at the prospect of reading with him and he could learn something from the process. He shrugged before nodding his head, "sure, why not?" Lily rolled her eyes but her smile became excited._

"_Well, we could try something easy but it'll be pretty dark and serious. Otherwise we could go for something more challenging but humorous," Lily suddenly scrunched her brow up in concern or thought, Kakashi was not sure which emotion. "Did you finish reading _The Princess Bride_?"_

_Kakashi blinked a few times before he nodded. He then got up from ground and moved toward a drawer that coupled as a bookshelf. "It was…interesting?" Kakashi threw a smile over his shoulder and retrieved the book in question, "At first the author's interjections confused me, but then I realized it was for satirical effect." He returned to the coffee table and sat down while sliding the book over to her._

"_So you enjoyed reading it?" Lily's eyes were narrowed slightly, most likely to gage his reaction. _

"_It was humorous," Kakashi conceded and was rewarded by Lily smiling broadly. _

"_Great, I love this book. It's hilarious! The "impressive cleric" cracks me up every time," Lily laughed a little and then did her best impersonation of the priest in the book, "Mawwige, mawwige is what bwings us ere today,"_

_Kakashi chuckled, and decided to follow her act, "The bwessed union, and I forgot what else he says" Kakashi gave Lily a lopsided smile while she practically squealed in laughter. It was pleasant to act so…silly. He faced death and deceit every day as a ninja thus he had to be on guard and serious every waking moment. His only reprieve from the gloom was his _Icha Icha _books, but even they were more of a disguise to makes his enemies underestimate him.. To not have to be serious was…it was relieving and he felt better being able to joke. _

"_Alright, it's decided, we're going to read the comedies from Shakespeare, and if the movie theaters ever have another showing of _Monty Python andthe Holy Grail_ we will go see it."_ _Lily's smile took over half her face and she rested her hand on one of Kakashi's. _

"_Mah, Lily, I don't mind dramas either. Besides, it might be good to ease me into Shakespeare,"_ _Kakashi eye-smiled and Lily hummed._

"_What play did you try to read?"_

"_Hmm…I think it was _Much Ado_, does that sound right?" Lily smiled at him and took a sip of water. _

"_Well, _Much Ado about Nothing_ is supposed to be one of his most hilarious plays, but that could be why it was so difficult. How about we start with _Macbeth _and then go onto _Twelfth Night_, then we can tackle _Much Ado_," _

"_So what is this _Macbeth_ about?" Kakashi asked and continued eating. _

"_It's a drama, very dark but a good gateway into Shakespeare."_ _They continued talking about plays as they finished eating, and Kakashi was actually eager to read these plays with Lily, who adamantly believed reading out loud helped understand the plays better. _

_He especially found _Twelfth Night _interesting since it dealt with deception and disguises. Though it would be a romantic comedy, he supposed the character dynamics would at least be interesting, especially this supposed love-triangle. _

_Lily even talked about going to see a play after they had read one of the plays. It was something about seeing how well their image of the play matched up with the directors. It was curious but the conversation had certainly made the dinner go by fast. _

_After finishing the dinner they cleaned up the dishes and washed them together. Lily was on rinsing and drying duty while Kakashi scrubbed the dishes clean. She bumped into him plenty of times, all the while humming some happy tune. She even used a knife to spray Kakashi with water! Being a respected jounin he simply could not let that offense slide. So, he made sure to flick soap suds into her hair, and he may have dunked a few dishes with a little more force than necessary to splash her. _

_Damp and breathing heavy from laughing, Lily leaned against the counter and finished drying off the last plate. She handed Kakashi the towel once he pulled the plug to let the water drain out of the sink. _

"_Thank you," he gave Lily an eye-smile and she just rolled her eyes while smiling. _

"_Well, I'm going to change out of my now, __**wet **__clothes," she gave him a mock glare, "So I'll be right back" she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek while moving over to the clothes she came to his apartment in . _

"_Mah, Lily, you're clothes are not nearly as bad as mine," Lily paused and looked over her shoulder at his statement. _

"_I know," her smile was mischievous and reminded Kakashi of Kushina-san, if only in for its sinister edge. _

_Kakashi quickly put his dishes away while Lily moved to the bathroom to change her clothes. Kakashi moved to his closet and found some jeans to replace his soaked sweatpants. Really it looked like he wet himself or something. He then peeled off his shirt and retrieved a jumper from the closet. With a sigh, he picked up his wet clothes and set them on his radiator. He could deal with his damp boxers, only because it would be awkward if Lily had walked in. He wasn't ready for that in their relationship yet. _

_Lily came back into the room, still adjusting her jumper, with her wet clothes in one hand. Seeing his clothes on the radiator, she smiled and set her clothes next to his. _

_She turned around and faced him with her hands on her hips, "Well, why don't we go on a walk while our clothes dry, and then we can eat dessert?" Lily suggested smiling. _

"_Hmm…" Kakashi walked over to her and gave what he thought was a wistful expression, he then looked down at her and eye-smiled, "sounds good." Lily just rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm._

"_Then shall we?" she asked and moved toward the door. Kakashi broke apart from her to slip on his shoes and she gave him a curious look but then shook her head and put on her coat. Once he was all set and had his coat on, they headed outside. _

_It was cold out but it was still pleasant. Lily looped her arm in his and they held hands like that. _

"_Hmm…" Lily looked up at the sky and Kakashi joined her. It was a shame he couldn't see the stars due to the city, that was one of the many things he missed about Konoha. Anywhere in the city, the stars could still be seen. _

"_What?" Kakashi asked and continued to look up at the inky blackness above them while they walked farther and farther from his apartment._

"_Oh…I was just wondering if you would be interested in museums or maybe visiting the Globe Theatre someday."_

_Kakashi furrowed his brow and looked over at Lily. She gave him a small smile and hugged his arm so that she could rest her head against his shoulder, "Artwork, like paintings, sculptures, photographs. Or maybe history museums, that have artifact, or a science museum? Oh, and the Globe Theatre was Shakespeare's theatre,"Kakashi hummed at the explanation and shoved his free hand into his pocket. _

"_Not sure about the art, I was never a fan but perhaps you can enlighten me in that area too?" he gave her another lopsided smile and she shook her head while laughing. _

"_What about visiting the theatre?" _

_Kakashi pursued his lips in thought, "Depends on how much I like the plays, I suppose." Lily gave him a look and shook her head; Kakashi chuckled and ducked his head to kiss her temple. "At least I read."_

"_Yes, thank God for that," Lily's tone had been dry but then she began laughing which showed how un-serious she had been. _

_They continued walking but in a comfortable silence. They had been walking for a total of ten minutes, which had mostly been in silence, when Lily spoke up again, "I just realized we missed Valentine's Day."_

_Kakashi blinked a few times before he began chuckling, right. They decided to date at Petunia's wedding, which was four days after Valentine's Day. "Mah… White Day hasn't passed yet, we can pretend."_

_Lily was giving Kakashi the strangest look and Kakashi realized his mistake in assuming. "You don't have White Day?" Lily shook her head and looked at him intently for a definition._

"_Right… well, Valentine's Day is usually the day when women give men chocolates to signify affection or courtesy. White Day is when men who received something on Valentine's Day return the gift, so to speak," Kakashi grimaced and rubbed his head in a fashion Minato-sensei often did. _

"_So Valentine's Day is for women and White Day is for guys?" Lily gave him a questioning look, as if to ask if she got the concept right. Kakashi nodded and eye-smiled, which caused Lily to smile, "So we're just going to pretend I got you something on Valentine's Day and then basically have Valentine's Day on this White Day?"_

"_Hmm…does that make you uncomfortable? I don't mind, if that's what you're worried about." _

_Lily shook her head, "No, I guess I don't mind. Though…" a sly smile came across her face and her eyes flashed in a mischievous way. Whatever she was going to ask was likely going to embarrass him, "have you often received chocolates on Valentine's Day?" _

_Kakashi couldn't stop himself from grimacing. Yes this would be slightly embarrassing, but exceptionally painful to answer. He looked down at the sidewalk. "Yeah, I did," Lily's smile fell away at his dead tone. _

"'_Kashi?" Lily made him stop walking and she forced him to look at her. He gave her a bitter smile and sighed._

"_Don't worry Lily," her face became hard at his response and her mouth was in a straight line. She raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. Kakashi sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. He sighed again. _

_Rin had given him homemade chocolates while they were on Team Minato for Valentine's Day, they were honmei-choco, but he refused to treat them as such. He tried to pass them off to Obito when she left, but either Minato-sensei would pull him into a head lock or Obito would try to punch him. Then he would be forced to "return the gift" on White Day, but he made sure the gift was clearly a courtesy one. He would have rather ignored it like he did in his academy days when the stupid girls gave him chocolates on Valentine's Day, but Minato-sensei made sure he wouldn't do that to Rin. _

"'_Kashi, tell me what's wrong?" Kakashi bowed his head and sighed, Lily was his friend and he had told her some of the story already. _

"_Can we keep walking?" he could feel people staring at them. He'd rather have as little attention as possible on him while he disclosed some of his more shameful actions. Lily stood resolute and even glared at him slightly. "I promise to tell you, but people are staring."_

_She sighed and they began moving again, after a moment she spoke, "So…? Please tell me 'Kashi, I'm your friend, well girlfriend, but friend first."_

_Kakashi smiled slightly at that rubbed his thumb against her hand from where they were entwined. However, his expression sobered and he nodded his head, "I told you I had teammates during the war and they died because of my…" Kakashi swallowed against the lump forming in his throat and wetted his lips before continuing, "stubbornness, my stupidity-"_

"'_Kashi," her tone was mixed parts exasperation and concern. _

"_I know, accept it, stop blaming myself," Kakashi clenched his teeth together in his anger at himself._

"_You'll make yourself crazy if you keep thinking like that. Takashi, I know I can't understand but I want to be here for you," she was being sincere and it made Kakashi feel worse. He sighed._

"_Right…well. Rin, she was on my team, she always gave me something on Valentine's Day and I was such a little shit," Kakashi shook his head and gritted his teeth. "I had to be forced to give her something on White Day by Minato-sensei," Kakashi paused and shook his head in disgust. "Gods, I was such a- I was willing to let our enemies kill her when I found out she was captured. Who does that do their teammates?" Kakashi looked over at Lily, whose eyes were wide, and he quickly turned away in shame. _

_Kakashi felt his stomach twist, would she reject him? She was shocked but was she horrified? Kakashi forced himself to continue speaking; at least they were still walking. "All I thought about was the mission and how much of hold back my teammates were. I was worse than trash to do that to my teammates- to think that way. I never treated her right, I never treated either of them right…"_

"'_Kashi, you were a kid," Kakashi dared to look up at her again, and saw that her brow was furrowed but her eyes held only concern. She was searching his face, and not once faltered in her step. _

"_They died because of my actions," he watched as Lily swallowed and tried to come up with something to say. At last she found something._

"_Takashi, you were in a war, you were trained for war when you were little, right? They told you the rules were the most important thing, right?" the jounin begrudgingly nodded, "You probably don't want to hear this because you have it already made up in your own head, but please just listen to me," they stopped walking and Lily held onto his upper arms. _

"_Takashi, you were a kid, you were obeying orders, and I don't know what they did to you, but you are just as emotionally stunted and guarded as Severus," Kakashi frowned slightly at how blunt her statement was, no matter how true it was still very blunt. "Takashi, we all make mistakes, we all act in ways we will come to regret and perhaps even hurt those around us. _

"_I don't know all the particulars, and I hope someday you can trust me with them, but 'Kashi, you can't let what happened destroy you or keep you from living. You've learned from it, and you're honoring your teammate's lives, right?" Lily was being so sincere, and he could tell she truly cared. _

_Kakashi bowed his head and rested it atop Lily's head and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't want to hear this and he wanted to yell at her, but then part of him wanted her to keep comforting him. No one had, he never talked about what happened with any other than Minato-sensei and even then Minato had rather focus on Kushina and the unborn baby._

"_Yes," he whispered into her hair. _

"_And your teammates cared about you, they wanted you happy?" Kakashi gave a wry smile even though Lily couldn't see it. He supposed at the end they did, or he liked to think he and Obito cared about each other at the end. Kakashi had hoped to follow Rin after he…he killed her, but then he lived. _

"_Yes."_

"_Do you think they want you blaming yourself, or doing your best to live happy while honoring their memory?" Kakashi pulled away from Lily and shook his hand with a small smile on his lips._

"_Mah, Lily, do you have to be so reasona…" Kakashi trailed off, he could hear sirens in the distance, he wasn't sure if Lily could. His smile fell away as he frowned._

"_Lily, do you hear sirens?" instinctively he began moving forward again, and Lily followed after him with a quizzical look on her face. They were perhaps twenty minutes out from Kakashi's flat and were close to Sarah and Douglass's apartment. Perhaps they could stop in at the couple's and see if they heard the siren's too?_

_However, Lily could now hear the sirens and she began to look around for what could be the matter, and that was when she looked back up at the sky. Lily gasped and began sprinting toward the cacophony of sirens. Kakashi looked at the curling clouds of smoke and gasped too. There, in the clouds, was the shape of a skull with a snake slithering out of it. Cursing he ran right after her. They pushed through the crowds and came upon an apartment building engulfed in flames. This was the same apartment building they went to on New Year's Eve, this was Sarah and Douglass's flat. _

"_Oh God there are people still in there!" Lily gasped and heedlessly ran ahead, thus breaking through the police guard and running into the burning building. Seriously! Kakashi cursed under his breath. Yes Sarah was Lily's friend and they had a child, but to just jump head first into a clear Death Eater raid?!_

"_Lily!" Kakashi cursed again and immediately joined her. Why the hell wasn't she thinking?_

_Kakashi wished he had wetted his coat sleeve before he followed her but he could still filter the smoke through it. He quickly found Lily and pulled her out of the way of a falling beam. Somehow she had no problems breathing, which meant she probably cast a spell. _

_They heard a little kid crying and together they hurried up the stairs, but as carefully as they could when it was so structurally unsound. _

_Kakashi immediately picked up where the cry came from and they found a little boy from the New Year's Eve party ringed by flame. Kakashi jumped over the flames and grabbed the boy and leaped over the flames again. The kid had its mouth covered by a blanket. _

_Lily also recognized the kid and gasped. "SARAH!" she called and waited for a reply. Instead there was another scream. Kakashi sensed three figures on the floor above them. He pointed above and held up three fingers. Lily swallowed thickly. Kakashi began to cough but quickly pulled up the front of his sweater over his nose. It reminded him of his mask - how he missed wearing it. _

"_You take Tomas outside," Lily ordered, her eyes were hard and cold. Death Eaters, he already knew but this only confirmed his belief. He shrugged off his coat and threw it over his head with one arm._

"_Like hell I will," She glared at him but Kakashi quickly moved them out of the way of more falling and burning debris. "I've lost a lot of people Lily, don't make me sit aside and potentially lose you too," Lily stiffened but quickly nodded her head._

"_What about Tomas?"_

"_I hear fire rescue at the back of the building," Kakashi discreetly created a shadow clone and had it transform into fire rescue officer. It came from the back of the building where a fire escape was and Kakashi hurriedly passed the kid off. Then they ran up to the top floor. _

_Kakashi immediately pushed Lily down when a spell was shot their way. Kakashi threw one of his hidden kunai at the attacker and rolled away into the room, his coat was forgotten by the door. Lily followed suit and quickly swept one of the Death Eaters feet out from under him. Kakashi kicked the stick out of the wizard he was attacking's hand and quickly incapacitated him. He noted that Lily had successfully knocked her opponent to the ground and had then slammed her heel into his temple. _

_With the Death Eaters unconscious, Lily addressed the bleeding woman in the middle of the room. Sarah was pale and shaking, but barely alive. Kakashi saw Douglass's corpse burning in the corner of the room. Poor kid was likely going to be orphaned._

"_Sarah!" Lily gasped and fell down beside the woman. Kakashi could not help but cough, there was too much smoke up here._

"_Lily we need to get out…too much smoke," Kakashi was gasping for breath between coughs, but it only made him breathe in more smoke. Lily looked at him worriedly. _

_Just then there was a loud crack and Kakashi dropped into a crouch. He pulled the kunai out of his victim and looked around him. Men in red robes appeared in the doorway; however, Kakashi's vision was already blotting out from smoke inhalation. He managed to conceal his kunai before it all went black. _

_Kakashi could piece together what had happened when he woke up with Lily sitting at his bedside. He could already tell he was in a hospital by the neutral wall colors, the pale sheets, and the uncomfortable paper gown he was wearing. All hospitals were the same after all. _

"'_Kashi?" Lily asked and quickly was standing over him. He gave her a little smile._

"_I hate hospitals," his voice was hoarse and Lily grimaced._

"_I'm sorry, but that was Sarah's apartment building and there's been this terrorist group attacking…" she trailed off and frowned. "I shouldn't have dragged you into this." _

"_Lily, it's okay," Kakashi coughed and swallowed as best he could. Lily was still frowning but she leaned over him and kissed him lightly on the lips. She then straightened up and poured him some water from a jug by his bed._

"_Even so, you almost died from smoke inhalation because I was brash and ran into that building without thinking," She dropped her gaze and took a deep breath. He wondered how long he had been out for her to be so calm about it. _

_He took a sip of his water and then quickly drank the rest of it. Oh, it felt so good; however, he had a favor to return._

"_Did your friend Sarah make it?" Lily slowly shook her head and her hands curled into fists, Kakashi knew Sarah wouldn't make it but he had to ask lest he assume incorrectly. "At least her boy's alive," Kakashi reminded and Lily gave a slow nod. He sighed and slowly reached out his free hand. He knew this was going to happen._

"_Lily don't," she looked at him and blinked a few times, "take your own advice: carry the weight but don't sink beneath it. Reconcile with what happened but don't beat yourself up. Make her memory happy by living," Lily gave a half smile and made him move over so she could lie on the narrow hospital bed with him. _

_They laid there and just soaked in each other's company. She knew his grief now, but not completely and he never wished her to – hell, he never wanted to share any of his grief, yet it happened. They were friends, they supported each other, and at last they could understand each other a little better._

_Kakashi smiled wryly at a random thought: three encounters with Death Eaters and the third time he gets hospitalized. Ironic. Wasn't the third time the lucky charm?_

* * *

**_A suivre_**

* * *

**__A/N:  
**Yep, they're dating at last! How many people were waiting for that to happen? Not that I hinted at it at all ^ ^ Also, can anyone tell I'm an English Major, but seriously, Shakespeare can be tough to read and with an L2 background like Kakashi, that has to be even worse. In addition, I highly recommend fans of the movie _The Princess Bride _to read the book, it is just as hilarious but with even more more back-story and jokes (though like Kakashi says, the author does make interjections that can be distracting at first - also the book came out in 1973 so I'm doing my research). Yes, Lily was singing Moondance, and since VHS weren't out at this time cinema's showed films again even after they were released (at least I think that's the case since my mom saw 2001 Sapce Oddessy in the seventies when it was out in '68). Hope that explains anything weird in this chapter. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, and I hope this will make up for not updating until April or May... ~ with love, depressedchildren


	8. Chapter 7: Reminisces and Searching Pt 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** awkward situations, swearing, intimidation, implied adult situations, and cafes

**A/N:** I finally updated! Hopefully this makes up for the long wait. This is another chapter that I had to jive older writing with newer writing so there are awkward parts, but I tried to smooth them out. Also, several people have asked how old Harry's going to be, well...I've provided all the information needed to figure that out from the very first chapter, also the AN in chapter four helps explain that as well. Anyways, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites ~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

* * *

**_Chapitre Sept: Avoue la vérité_**

* * *

Kakashi pulled out the needed coins and bills for his meal and set them atop the bill. He then got up and left the café. He had dawdled away enough time in this place.

He looked up at the sky-line and sighed. To think, about thirteen years ago he had first come to this country, and in the twelve years he had been absent it had changed only a little. The nostalgia that hit him, hit him hard. It was almost like coming home after a long mission - as odd as it was to think that way. Perhaps it was because Lily was here - somewhere - that he could think of this place like home despite having only sojourned here a little over a year.

He felt inclined to just go straight to his old flat and see if the dump had been torn down or renovated in any way. The complex certainly could have used a facelift all those years ago. He chuckled and let his feet take him where they wished, and consequently that was in the direction of his previous flat.

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he strolled along the way. His eyes lazily drifted from one poster to the next, and the occasional graffiti tag got his attention. It was all so similar, so much so, that he could almost imagine Lily walking beside him – their fingers intertwined or her arm wrapped around his bicep.

He smiled slightly. She would likely be talking about the students starting school the next day, and perhaps how she had had so-and-so's older sibling in her class previously. He could almost image a metal band weighing down on his ring finger, perhaps the left as custom here dictates. Maybe there would even be a little kid walking beside them, holding onto one of their hands. But he quickly forced the thought from his mind. He could not entertain such imaginings, not ever.

Because - when he does find her - she could be married and happy. She could have little children to take care of, and a class to prepare for. Besides… she was not supposed to know he had been alive this whole time. He was only here to ascertain her wellbeing, and to fully let her go - just like Severus and James had. It was time to stop being selfish, and to try and find his own happiness in Konoha. This trip was only to gain closure, not arouse old passions and feelings.

He swallowed thickly, besides, Lily would likely hex him if she did notice him. No, he would rather hide than face such a confrontation. He would be cowardly and selfish in that regard only. He would rather her not know he was a ninja and that he had lied to her about so much. Yet had he really lied? He only changed words to make his past more believable.

In frustration he ran a hand through his hair and huffed. He had to let Lily go and find his own happiness. Perhaps he could find a partner in the shinobi world and start a family there. Though it wouldn't be — no! It didn't matter that whoever he found there would pale in comparison to Lily, he just had to let her go, damn it!

His eyes alighted on another poster and he almost sighed in relief at the distraction it brought him from his thoughts. Though it would make him think of Lily, it would make him think of the past and not his imminent future without her.

It was an advertisement for a theatre production of _Hamlet_. He skimmed the poster and shook his head. He could still remember the first time he and Lily tried reading Shakespeare's plays. He chuckled and let the memory wash over him.

_Kakashi supposed he had been lucky he hadn't died from smoke inhalation. He was even more fortunate to only have to stay in the hospital for four additional days after waking up – for observation the doctors said. Lily even graciously brought him real clothes to change into instead of having to wear that damn paper gown. In addition, they made good use of those four days too, by having their second date and starting on _Macbeth_. _

_Their second date had been a picnic in his hospital room because hospital-food sucked universally, and Lily even brought the container from their first date. She explained that she had frozen it so it should still be good. "Tiramisu" she had called it, and it was actually pretty good except that he had never been terribly fond of sweets. _

_On the same date, Lily had brought her copy of _Macbeth_ and a library copy. Right off the bat the play had been morbid, but reading it with Lily caused him to understand the play better. They took turns reading different characters from the list at the beginning of the scenes, they even got into an argument about what the witches looked like. _

_Then in the final act… Kakashi came to understand why exactly Shakespeare's plays were still so well received. Kakashi could __**relate**__ to Macbeth's feelings after the death of his wife. Kakashi kept this to himself, but the concerned look on Lily's face told him she noticed something was wrong. _

_Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow / creeps at this petty pace from day to day / — How often had Kakashi felt that very same sentiment on the anniversary of his precious peoples' deaths, or after an assassination mission. Macbeth's whole monologue in that scene summed up the pointlessness of life. So brief yet drawn out, a mockery – that was life, or at least in Kakashi's darkest moments that was what life felt like. _

_Kakashi wasn't fool enough to think Lily hadn't noticed his connection to those lines, but she hadn't brought it up. Perhaps she assumed it was from the war or from all those that he had lost. But whatever the reason, Lily and Kakashi had finished _Macbeth_ in those four days. Of course… they had done more than read aloud to one another. _

_Lily had been studying for some test since the New Year, and had even taken a few classes. However, even though she knew the study guides from cover to cover, she had held off on taking the actual test. But apparently, while he was unconscious she finally had taken the test, which certified her as a primary school teacher._

_Regardless, during those four days Kakashi was confined to the hospital after waking up, she began filling out job application forms. She hoped to find a position as a substitute teacher and then become a full-time teacher. Of course, with Kakashi being the "business major," he was supposed to know how best to present oneself to prospective employers. Kakashi had figured it couldn't be too different from presenting oneself to a client. _

_But at last, it was his final day in the hospital. Kakashi looked up from the newspaper he was currently perusing. Lily had just walked in and she was smiling brightly. _

"_Guess what?" she sang. Kakashi only raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes at his response, "I have a job interview at the school Annabel's sister works at. I could very well have a job for the next term, or I could be filling in for a woman on maternity leave."_

"_Congratulations," Kakashi made room for Lily to sit on the hospital bed with him, "Perhaps we can celebrate by making something, maybe sushi?" Lily scrunched up her face._

"_Raw fish…." She said it with unease and a grimace distorting her features, "I'm not sure,"_

"_Oh come on Lily, you won't know if you like it until you've tried it," he teased and she pushed her shoulder against his in retaliation, but she was smiling none the less. "How about tempura or shabu-shabu?"_

_Lily hummed while looking up at the ceiling, "And what are those again?"_

"_One's fried the other is a hot pot" Lily seemed to be deliberating over the choices before she looked at him in shock._

"_You actually eat fried food, and here I thought you only ate healthy!" Kakashi gave Lily a mock glare and she laughed before settling down into his side, "How about the hot pot?"_

"_Perfect, I'll make sure to stock up on more miso soup. By the way, tempura is not that…unhealthy," Kakashi gave up his defense and looked down. Who was he kidding, it was deep fried. Lily continued to laugh and shook her head slightly. _

"_So, what should we do today?" Lily asked and Kakashi could only shrug. _

"_I'm not sure, did you bring anymore plays?" Kakashi asked in return. Lily was about to respond to his question when a laugh came from the doorway. Kakashi knew somebody had been there, but he feigned surprise along with Lily. _

"_That shouldn't be needed Mr. Hatatke, Miss Evans," it was Kakashi's doctor. The man was smiling as he walked into the room with Kakashi's charts in his hands, "You're actually free to go, you'll just need to sign your release forms."_

_Kakashi was out of the bed and putting on his shoes before the doctor finished his sentence. This earned laughter from both Lily and the other man, but Kakashi quite literally could not care less, he hated hospitals. _

_Lily was climbing off the bed while shaking her head, "So you really hate hospitals, huh?"_

_Kakashi gave a sheepish smile and a feeble laugh, "I always broke out of the military ones before I was allowed to leave…" Lily shook her head and the doctor looked at him in alarm._

"_So…where are those forms I need to sign?" Kakashi asked with an eye smile, the doctor shook his head and lead them to the reception area. _

_Once the forms were filled out with all of the correct information for Takashi Hatatke, Lily and Kakashi began walking back toward his flat. _

"_So….?" Lily began, "Why do you hate hospitals?"_

"_Rin…" Kakashi sighed when Lily eyed him with her brow furrowed and the corners of his lips drawn down, "She was a medic, so it's…I think of her whenever I visit hospitals," Lily nodded her head and moved closer to him but Kakashi pulled away and gave her an eye-smile. "Besides, I'm injury prone," well…chakra exhaustion prone, but that was close enough. He chuckled before he began jogging backwards, "now, why don't we go on a little run?" The redhead gave him a deadpan look but seeing as Kakashi was getting farther and farther away from her she began to run. _

"_Takashi! You can't do that! You just got out of the hospital!" She actually gave a growl of frustration and began sprinting after him when he just laughed and eye-smiled. "You were told to take it easy for the next week!" she shouted, slightly winded. _

"_I am taking it easy," he yelled as he turned around. He also chuckled at the "endearments" she threw at him. She thought he was crazy, how sweet. Kakashi made sure to stay a good ways ahead of Lily on his way back to his flat, for not only would the Jounin have an irate girlfriend to deal with but also an annoyed Hokage when he finally arrived back at his apartment. _

_Kakashi quickly grabbed the scroll from his leader since he entered the apartment first. He then plopped down on the couch and hid the scroll in the space between the back rest and the cushions. _

_Lily was panting when she came through the door, "How the hell are you not fatigued? You were in the hospital for almost a week! And why did you do that?!"_

"_Exactly, a whole week of inactivity, that's why I did it. Besides, didn't I tell you they did super human testing on me when I was a kid?" Kakashi asked with his eye-smile. She glared at him before she began shaking her head, but in an endearing fashion._

"_That would certainly explain a lot. Or perhaps you're a ninja," Lily sat down at the arm rest of the couch and smiled down at Kakashi._

"_You caught me, I'm a ninja. Black Ops even," Kakashi continued to eye-smile and Lily just rolled her eyes. _

"_Umm-hmm" Lily's face suddenly split into a sly smile, "And I'm a witch," she announced, before grinning broadly._

"_I knew it," Kakashi exclaimed and quickly pulled her into a hug as they lay back down. "Just knew there was something magical about you," Lily laughed little before her expression sobered and they lay there for a while longer. He wasn't sure what it was about Lily, but it pulled the most surprising statements from him, and they were always true. He would have slapped himself for the pathetic line he pulled but…as stated before, it was true._

_They had confessed their true identities to each other, yet Lily believed it was all a jest and that Kakashi was only playing along. "What if I really was a ninja?" Kakashi asked, part of him did want to be completely open but that would compromise his village. _

"_It would explain a lot," she repeated. After a pause she asked, "What if I was really a witch"_

"_I would be a lucky guy," Kakashi whispered into her hair._

Kakashi sighed and continued walking toward this apartment. That had certainly been an interesting week and Sandaime-sama had not been happy with him. The old man thought he had been compromised or injured or worse. Kakashi had to quickly assuage the God of Shinobi's worries and give his weekly report.

Gods did he miss the old man, though perhaps it was good he passed on when he did, he wouldn't have had to see Konoha at its lowest nor the world on the cusp of destruction. It had been Kakashi's fault, after all. Kakashi had killed Rin, had made Obito go insane…Kakashi had not been a good enough teacher or ANBU captain to prevent what happened with Sasuke.

Kakashi clenched his eyes closed and gritted his teeth. Damn it!

Kakashi sighed heavily – he couldn't keep thinking like that, he had to let it go. Or he'd go insane as Lily put it so aptly time and again. Let go of the blame, but shoulder the consequences, yet don't crumple beneath it…

Kakashi look up at where he was walking and blinked a few times. His old apartment complex was before him and he almost didn't recognize it. He looked toward the buzzer system, the building manager had changed, which certainly explained the facelift. Maybe he could check out his old apartment, just to cross it off his list. Eventually he'd have to check out Petunia's house, he chuckled at that as he buzzed the building manager. He'd explain he was an old resident and wanted to see if the inside had changed as much as the outside.

It would be good to see how Petunia and Vernon had done in the past decade. When Kakashi had left, Petunia was expecting a child. Of course, now his thoughts strayed to the day he helped Petunia and Vernon move into #4 Privet Drive.

_When the next day came, Lily knocked on his door before opening it. It was six or so in the morning but Kakashi had been up for a while meditating. He didn't bother to come out of his meditation, he had a few minutes left and Lily would likely wait for him. However, he was surprised to find that she joined him. _

_When he stood up to signify he was done meditating, Lily began to stretch her arms over her head. "That was relaxing," she stated with a slight smile, "Do you start every morning like that?" she asked before she hopped to her feet. _

"_Sometimes," Kakashi supplied as too began to stretch, "Most often after an injury, or when I have a lot on my mind." Lily hummed in response and looked around the sparse apartment._

"'_Kashi?" he looked up from rolling up his mat and raised an eyebrow at her questioning tone. "Today's the day Tunney and Vernon are moving into their house. Do you still want to help move them in? I understand if you don't—"_

"_Lily, I said I would help, it's just fortunate I got out of the hospital and in time for it," Lily was frowning and Kakashi gave an exasperated sigh, "Lily, I've bounced back from much worse," Kakashi stated as he retrieved his coat from the closet. Lily was looking at him in alarm as well as concern. _

"'_Kashi…?"_

"_Remember, I'm injury prone?" he gave her an eye smile and she gave a feeble shake of her head. He sighed and took a hold of her arms, "Trust me Lily, I'm taking things easy. It might not look like it, but I am," Kakashi sighed again and dropped his head. _

"_Lily, it will concern you, but during the war…I was injured much worse and was expected to go about as if nothing happened," Lily looked aghast and Kakashi couldn't blame her, though he purposely left out that he was the one expecting himself to act as if nothing had happened. "It's a habit for me now, but I know my body's limits and I'll adhere to them, okay Lily?"_

_Whatever emotions flitted across her face were hard to read, but she settled on nodding. She appeared more sober than usual but that was expected. Kakashi shook his head at this response, even though it was expected. He quickly put on his shoes while Lily waited by the door and looked at him curiously._

"_May I ask why you don't wear shoes inside? Come to think of it you've asked me and Tunney if we preferred guest to take off their shoes," Kakashi smiled as he straightened. _

"_It's a custom," Kakashi explained and fixed his coat. They then began making their way out of his apartment building and toward a train that would take them to Surrey, though Lily look mixed parts troubled and guilty._

"_Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry, I'll—" _

"_It's fine Lily, I was well aware of your customs before coming here I did not expect you to act any differently," Kakashi gave her a reassuring smile and she gave a small smile in return._

"_You still could have told me sooner, or I should have asked sooner," she then took his hand in hers. "Have you eaten yet?" she questioned to which he shook his head in negation, "Good, Petunia is rewarding us with breakfast and lunch. Breakfast will probably be a bagel but lunch we might all go out," Lily tried to smile again, clearly still bothered by this morning's revelation about Kakashi's supposed childhood. Though it was strained, they passed the rest of the traveling time in idle talk. _

_When they arrived at the Surrey train station, Petunia was waiting for them with her car. Oh gods, two metal deathtraps in one day! Kakashi took deep calming breaths as he approached the metal monster. _

"_Is everything okay?" Petunia asked, either because of Kakashi's Lamaze breathing or the strained atmosphere around them. _

"'_Kashi?" Lily asked as she set a hand on his shoulder, he gave an eye smile before he eyed the car in front of him warily._

"_Do we have to take that?" he asked with a weak laugh, Lily blinked a few times before she began laughing, the tension between them alleviating for the time being. Petunia was hiding her own snicker. _

"_Oh come on 'Kashi, it's not that bad," Lily gave an encouraging smile, though mirth still showed in her voice. _

_Kakashi grimaced and made himself enter the small death trap. He supposed the only good thing about this machine as that he had a better chance of escaping it than the train or airplane. The sisters regarded him with amusement and they talked the entire way to #4 Privet Drive. Kakashi just sat in the back with his head between his hands as he did his Lamaze breathing. _

_Why did he have to take two of these death traps in one day? At least he hadn't gotten sick from the strange movement, and the sisters were wise enough not to ask him anything while they were driving. _

_It wasn't that he was uncomfortable with the speeds they were moving at, since he could run just as quickly with chakra pushing him along, but when he was running he wasn't confined to a small metal space. He also had control over the situation when he was running, but in these deathtraps he had no control and who knew what the person in the other deathtrap was going to do?_

_When they finally arrived at #4 Privet Drive, Kakashi threw himself out of car and inhaled deeply. Lily looked slightly guilty.  
_

"'_Kashi, you really don't like cars do you?" He eye-smiled but the effect was ruined by the raged inhalations he made. Lily grimaced and offered a hand to help him back to a standing position, "I'm sorry, if I knew you didn't like cars or the train –"_

"_It's fine, I'm just not used to them," Kakashi still was taking deep breaths to keep his head from spinning more. Lily began to rub his back and Kakashi could distinctly hear Petunia stifling a laugh. _

"_Well come on, Vernon is coming with the moving truck and we should eat before he gets here," Petunia motioned them toward the empty house. The only thing inside the house was a box labeled fragile, which had a box of bagels on top of it, just as Lily predicted. _

_Petunia broke the silence first as they had each begun eating their first bagel. "You've never ridden in a car or train before?" Petunia asked. _

"_Not really, no," Kakashi paused, he didn't want to mention the hearse which was the only car he had ever been in, it was still a fresh wound for the sisters and he didn't want to drag it up. "The plane went straight to London so…" he shrugged. "Airplanes are by far the worst form of transportation," Kakashi did his best to repress his shudder but he failed._

"_No cars, no trains, not even planes? How did you get around?" Petunia asked in surprise._

"_Well, when I was a kid we never went very far and running was efficient enough for us. Besides, we lived in the middle of the forest, so it wasn't like there were cars or trains going to our village," Petunia and Lily nodded in understanding, "Now I live in a pretty decent district where everything is close so you can walk easily from place to place. Planes are really my only experience with transportation beside the boat which I came to Japan on," Lily and Petunia nodded again as they continued to chew their food. _

_There was the sound of loud engine coming to a stop in front of the house. Petunia clapped her hands together and swallowed. "Vernon's here," she exclaimed with a wide and enamored smile on her face. Lily was smiling as well, but at her sister's state. _

_Kakashi quickly finished his breakfast as the three of them moved outside. There was a large metal thing that had a storage space as tall as Vernon, who was opening said storage space. It made Kakashi think of the metal containers he saw at the shipping yard when he came into Japan from the Elemental Lands. _

"_Hello there Takashi, Lily," Vernon greeted with a large smile, he hopped down from the back of the vehicle and moved toward Petunia, "and hello Mrs. Dursley," he gave Petunia a whiskery kiss after his almost suggestive greeting. He had a sly smile on his face and Petunia was blushing slightly but her face looked ready to split in two from the smile she was sporting. _

_Vernon then turned around, one arm was looped around Petunia's narrow waist, "Here's the game plan," he stated loudly and fixed Lily and Kakashi with a determined look. The couples circled up, and it reminded Kakashi briefly of huddling up with his ANBU operatives as they went over the final plans for an infiltration. _

"_We're going to move everything out of the truck and into the house," Vernon gestured from the vehicle to the house with his thumb, "We'll move everything into the center of the room, so that when we paint the walls nothing gets dripped on. We'll get the paint out of the car," he jerked his head to the deathtrap Kakashi arrived here in, " now, and the painting after returning the truck. Then we unload everything from their boxes."_

"_We'll only be painting the hallways and the bedrooms," Petunia explained, "and we'll start that after lunch, since we'll need to return the moving truck as soon as possible."_

"_Well, let's get to it then" Kakashi clapped his hands together and eye smiled. _

_Lily laughed lightly, "Just remember to take it easy," she poked him in the chest and Kakashi rubbed the back of his head similar to how Minato-sensei would. _

_The boxes were labeled by rooms, and the furniture had masking-tape labels, so it was clear what went where. There was a dolly to help them move the heavier pieces of furniture and since Kakashi needed to seem like a normal human who had just gotten out of the hospital, he conceded to using the thing. _

_The four of them focused on the task at hand and the few interruptions they had were Petunia worrying that Lily was taking too much weight. "Lily-pad, isn't that a little too heavy," Lily smiled and grunted a little as she shifted the box in her arms._

"_Don't worry Tunney, I've gained a lot muscle since I began training with 'Kashi," and after Lily set the box down in the proper room she flexed her arm to demonstrate her claim. _

_Kakashi chuckled along with Vernon, "Must be some training," Vernon stated beside him while he hefted the box he was carrying a little higher._

"_Mah, it's nothing special," Kakashi then moved into the house to put the box in its proper place. _

_Once they got to the heavy, awkward furniture that wouldn't fit on the dolly Kakashi had to waddle along with Vernon, who could barely hold up his end and was ultimately slowing Kakashi down. Lily looked at him worriedly every time, and actually made him put his end down when Vernon did, especially while they were moving the bed up the stairs. _

"'_Kashi, please, you're supposed to take it easy," she stated, her hands were on her hips and she was frowning slightly. Vernon was panting at his position farther up the stairs as he wiped at the sweat on his face._

"_Why's that?" he asked as he continued to gasp for air. _

_Lily looked down at her feet and was blushing. Kakashi rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall. "Lily…" he began in a chastising manner, "It's not your fault," he stated after she grimaced. _

_While Vernon seemed to be taking his statement toward the suggestive end of the spectrum, Petunia looked at her sister sharply with worry._

"_Lily, what happened?" her voice was hard in fear for her sister. _

_Lily sighed and her shoulders sagged, "My classmate was targeted by that terrorist group I was telling you about," Vernon and Petunia's faces became grave and their jaws were set in hard lines, "The building was on fire and the fire rescue wasn't there yet, just the police," Lily bit her lip, "We were on a walk and when we heard the sirens and then I saw the fire was at my friend's apartment…so, I sort of rushed in," Lily grimaced and ducked her head slightly. _

"_You what?!" Petunia roared, "Lily Patricia Evans," she reprimanded, "and you dragged your innocent boyfriend into that mess?" Lily looked ready to cry so Kakashi cleared his throat._

"_I've run into many burning buildings, usually they had bamboo or grass roofs, but it's something I've done before," Petunia gave him a baleful glare but Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Besides, she didn't drag me into anything, I ran after her,"_

_Petunia pursed her lips and Vernon looked like he was in deep thought. Petunia sighed and folded her arms across her chest, "Why is it you have to be so damn brash?" the blonde asked as she looked at her sister in disbelief. _

_Lily blushed and ducked her head further. _

"_Anyways," Kakashi broke the silence before the sisters could get into it further, "You rested up, Vernon?" Kakashi asked with an eye smile. _

_Vernon grunted and together they lifted up the bed and continued on their way. There was a strained silence as they finished emptying out the truck, and once they had done so it was time for lunch. The paint had been moved into the house long ago lest it freeze in the current weather. _

_Vernon asked if Kakashi would like to drive with him so the sister could have their "women talk," according to Vernon. He shrugged and climbed into the large deathtrap. He quickly found that if he rolled down the window it wasn't so terrible, and the rush of air helped him imagine he was just running again. _

"_Don't like driving?" Vernon asked._

"_Excluding the funeral," Vernon frowned but nodded, "today was the first t time I've traveled in one of these things. I'm just not used to how cramped it is," he gave an eye-smile and noted he could see Petunia and Lily behind them through the side mirror. "Could you tell me more about this "golf"?" Kakashi asked so he might have a chance to see what the sisters would talk about through reading their lips. They had serious expressions and so it piqued his interest. Perhaps they would be talking about the wizarding war?_

_Vernon began his rant about the sport he had mentioned to Kakashi several months ago. Kakashi inconspicuously read the two women's lips through the side mirror while Vernon talked. _

"_Lily, he's a-a muggle and you drag him into this Death Eater crap, I thought you'd be rid of it when you broke up with that fr—"_

"_Tunney!" Lily made a desperate motion with her arms, "I'm giving up on it," Petunia blinked a few times and shot her sister a confused look, "I'm through with magic, I've been thinking about it for months now and I finally decided to leave that world when 'Kashi ended up in the hospital because of me. … I'm divorcing myself from the magical world," she nodded firmly before she looked down at her lap and appeared like a little girl hoping for her big sister's approval. _

"_Oh Lily!" Petunia was beginning to tear up and she looked like she desperately wanted to hug Lily, "Oh Lily!"_

"_I had been looking into jobs and I even got one! I'll be a substitute teacher at a primary school in London, but I hope to get a permanent position there. I'll-I'll be normal," when Lily looked up from her lap her eyes were shining with both sadness and determination. "I don't want to endanger Takashi anymore."_

_Petunia did begin to cry, "Lily I'm so proud of you, I was so worried I was going to lose you to those Death Eaters and wizards," their car jerked slightly when Petunia tried to wipe her eyes._

"_You're really serious about him," Petunia was smiling though a few tears slipped down her face._

_Lily was mumbling so Kakashi only read a few of the words, "Never felt … James … think I love …" he could surmise what she said and he swallowed audible. Shit. _

_He broke his concentration, he didn't want to know any more of that conversation and he shifted a little nervously in his seat. _

"_It's okay; I've been driving for years," Vernon's boisterous tone caught Kakashi's attention and he gave a nervous nod. All he could think about was the two sister's conversation. He was in deep shit. _

"_Don't worry, you're in safe hands," Vernon laughed as they came to a stoplight. He peered over at Kakashi who was slumped in his seat, "Say, why don't we meet up sometime and play golf, hmm? We'll share clubs."_

_Kakashi took a few clamming breaths, which was passed off as his nervousness with driving. Finally he managed to nod his head, "Sure, you'll just need to remind of the rules when we get on the…"Green" right?" Kakashi eye-smiled at the approving nod Vernon gave him. _

_Vernon then began to talk about drills and Kakashi listened intently so as to distract himself from his thoughts. Yet it wasn't enough for his mind kept wandering back to what he had read. _

_It wouldn't be fair for Lily, he could be called away at any moment and she didn't know who he really was. Sure she knew he was fucked up to some extent, but she didn't know he was an assassin, a mercenary, a-a killer - because that was what his profession dwindled down to, murder. Beyond his profession was his emotional instability, ANBU only worsened what losing his whole team had done to him. _

_Was he even capable of love after losing everyone precious to him? Could he love her in return? It wasn't fair and frankly it scared the shit out of him. Sure he could go up against an A or S rank criminal and not be frightened in the least, but merely thinking about – about __**love**__ terrified him. But he wanted to… oh Gods did he want love in his life again, and it was such a selfish desire. _

_But…but he felt so at peace with her. He hadn't felt like that with anyone since Minato-sensei had passed on. He felt like he could be himself around her, no image to preserve or status to uphold. He could be weak or strong, serious or silly, perverted or naïve, and she would accept all of it. Kakashi was startled to realize that he too accepted her however she was. When she was brash and stubborn and ran head-on into danger, or when she was cautious, calculative and suspicious… he accepted her. _

_Kakashi focused on what Vernon was telling him but his thoughts continued to circle around what Lily had said. _

_She loved him, but she didn't really know him, know what he was capable of or all of his quirks. It felt too soon, but then…they had been friends for half a year, and he had been there when she struggled through her relationship with James. He helped her come to the realization that maybe what she had with James was not ideal, maybe he was not what she wanted, maybe she did not feel as strongly about James as she thought. And then he was there for the passing of her mother… He helped her cope with the loss, and they had been supporting each other long before then. Kakashi's losses may have been older than hers but she was helping him just as much as he was her. _

_He swallowed thickly, and questioned if her loving him was what scared him or if…if reciprocating those feelings was what terrified him. Perhaps it was a little soon and he was still not sure if he could feel as strongly for her but then…in that burning building he had not lied. He did not want to lose her, but eventually he would have to leave her. Maybe he didn't want her to die? Because all of his other friends had died… He felt mixed up. _

_The thought of her loving him, maybe that was not so terrifying, but loving someone as much as he loved Minato-sensei and Kushina-san - no he would love her more than he had loved them, or at least he would love her in a different way, and then he could always lose her or be torn away from her. Was that the thought that made his heart start racing in his throat while it tightened to the point he could hardly breathe? Could he afford that risk? Could he allow himself to love someone else again, only to potentially lose her?_

_Kakashi was pulled from his spiraling thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. "Takashi, you alright?" Vernon's brow was furrowed and Kakashi blinked a few times. _

"_Ah, Vernon, I'm so sorry I…" what could he say? He was panicking about what he had spied from Lily and Petunia's conversation. That certainly would bring up questions._

"_You were miles away, you didn't even notice we stopped," Vernon sated; he was wearing a frown, "Were you having flashbacks? Heard somewhere Vets get those sometimes," Vernon was now wearing a thoughtful expression. _

_Kakashi weakly laughed and rubbed the back of his head, but the smile fell from his face and his arm felt like led as it dropped to his side. "I just began thinking about the people the war took from me. I'm sorry, I don't know what brought it on," Kakashi lied and looked out the windshield. He heard car doors close behind him._

_Vernon cleared his throat and patted Kakashi on the shoulder, "It's alright, I heard those kinds of things just happen," he gave him another pat and nodded his head before he began unbuckling his seatbelt. _

_Kakashi sensed someone outside his car door, so when he turned around he was not startled by Lily's presence._

"_What's going on?" the smile she was wearing began to slip when she noticed how sober Kakashi was, "Did Vernon say something…" Lily lowered her voice and glared at her brother-in-law as she trailed off._

"_Mah, Lily, it was nothing like that," He hopped out of the truck and held his arms up in a "no harm done" manner. She continued to glare at Vernon who was oblivious to the look as he talked with the moving truck rental person. _

_Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Lily," he began softly and her glare immediately broke as she looked at Kakashi with wide observant eyes. "I just began thinking about people I lost, 'kay?" Lily blinked but nodded her head, and quickly looped her arm around one of his. _

"_Okay," she whispered and reached up to peck him on the cheek, his lips twitched slightly upwards. When Petunia came around toward them he began to eye-smile. _

"_We'll be getting lunch now, right?" Kakashi asked, while he ignored the worried expression on Lily's face. _

_Petunia chuckled slightly and nodded her head. Vernon returned then, but he was grumbling under his breath about overpriced rental companies. He shoved something into his pocket before he looked up, "So where do we want to eat?" he asked. _

"_Tunney?" Lily asked as she looked around the area, "We're near our old neighborhood aren't we?" Petunia nodded her head and the sisters began to smile as if the same thought came to them. _

"_Brilliant! I haven't eaten there since we were kids," Petunia was already heading back to the car, "Maybe we can even stop by and say hello to Dad," she called over her shoulder as she got into the passenger side. Vernon quickly entered the driver's side, which left Kakashi and Lily in the backseat. _

_Lily chuckled and leaned in close to Kakashi as they began to drive. Petunia was still talking about the little restaurant they would be going to, so she didn't pick up Lily's whispered remark, "I feel like we're being chaperoned." Kakashi smiled slightly and looked over at Lily who had an almost devious smile on her face._

_She gave him a quick peck on the lips before they were out of the parking lot and Kakashi had to roll down the window to keep from feeling sick. The car ride was much better than the last two, perhaps he was getting used to it. By the time they got to the restaurant he was much more comfortable in the car, though not enough to participate in the conversation; which was circling around the new house's design plans The Evans sisters were dominating the conversation while Vernon just grunted now and then as he drove them to the restaurant.. _

_The conversation persisted as they sat down in the little café and all Kakashi or Vernon could do was just share equally miserable looks. They would be the ones forced to move the furniture and paint the hard to reach places while the Evans sisters ordered them about or well…while Petunia ordered them about and Lily laughed at their misfortune. _

_Before long they were back in the car and headed toward Mr. Evans's house. The older man was thrilled to see them and actually hugged each one of them. Petunia made tea for them while they settled down in the living room._

"_So how is the move coming along?" Harold asked from his chair. Lily and Kakashi were seated on one end of the couch while Vernon sat himself in the only other chair in the room. Petunia would likely sit at the other end of the couch when she returned. _

_Though Kakashi was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that Lily had tucked herself into his side, he figured she knew how best to act around her father. Besides, she was likely thinking about her mother and would need his support, so he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Harold was grinning at them though there was a touch of concern to his expression._

"_The move's going well," Vernon stated with a nod, "we got all the boxes and furniture put in. We'll be painting when we get back and then we'll begin unloading boxes."_

_Harold hummed and nodded his head. Petunia returned at this point with a tea set on a tray. She served the tea and once everyone was settled down with their cup, Harold turned a mischievous smile on Kakashi and Lily. _

"_And have you two had your first date yet?" Kakashi managed not to choke on his tea and instead gave an eye-smile while Petunia and Vernon did choke on their tea while also managing to laugh between gasps for air. _

_Lily nodded her head, being the only one not drinking at the time. She had a slight smile playing on her lips, "We made dinner, it was nice." Kakashi continued to eye-smile as he nodded his head._

"_Yes, and Lily was childish and splashed me when we were cleaning the dishes," Lily directed a mock glare at him and stuck her tongue. _

"_You splashed me too," she pointed out, mirth clear in her voice._

"_Mah, that was only in retaliation,"Kakashi waved the matter away dismissively. Lily shook her head while rolling her eyes, which caused her family to laugh at them. "Then we went on a walk," Kakashi ended when the laughter died down. Petunia seemed to connect the dots but didn't bring anyone's attention to it and Kakashi pressed a kiss to Lily's temple. She gave her best attempt at a smile._

"_Dad, what was your first date with mum?" Lily asked softly and Harold gave a sad smile._

"_We went to the concert hall and listened to a symphony play," Harold then stood up and moved toward a cabinet in the living room. Petunia and Lily immediately began to groan and whine._

"_Oh come on Dad!"_

"_Not that, please!"_

_Harold was chuckling and Kakashi found his interest piqued. Vernon was chuckling as well and mouthed "photo album" to Kakashi. _

_Harold straightened up with a leather bound book in his hands, or well, photo album. "I was just going to show pictures from your mother and I's trip to Paris, and maybe a few baby photos," he teased much to his daughters' mortification. The sisters groaned and hid their faces in their hands. _

"_Baby pictures?" Kakashi asked and Lily peeked her face out from behind her hands._

"_Yeah…" she sighed in misery. _

"_What are baby pictures?" the Evans family and Vernon looked at him in alarm, Kakashi gave an eye-smile and shrugged._

"_You know what photos are, right?" Petunia asked in disbelief, Kakashi nodded his head but this only caused Lily to frown._

"_Have you heard of people taking photos of their children?" Lily asked hesitantly. Kakashi furrowed his brow. He had, he supposed, civilian families or the clan heads might commission for a painter to paint their eldest children. Photos were still mostly used for military purposes, or team photos. Hokages might get a family photo taken but it was not that common for parents to take photos of their children. Kakashi thought a portrait of him might have been commissioned when he was a baby, but then he had never seen one. _

"_Family portraits I suppose," Kakashi answered after a pause and Lily hummed._

"_Well the baby photos we're talking about are usually a baby's firsts, like walking or crawling," she stated and took the album from her father to show a picture of a baby giggling up at the camera with a teething ring in its mouth. _

"_Or if the baby was exceptionally cute or had done something embarrassing," Petunia added with a groan. _

_Kakashi chuckled as he looked at the various baby pictures. He quickly deduced he was looking at Petunia in the black and white photos before the baby became a toddler and a new baby entered the photos, this must have been Lily. Harold and Vernon looked over their shoulders while Petunia and Lily explained the different photos to him. He chuckled along with Harold and Vernon. It was really quite interesting to see these photos. Kakashi could count on one hand the number of photos of him that existed: his team picture, his ninja registration picture, his bingo book picture (sort of), and a picture with Minato-sensei and Kushina-san at their wedding. _

_Before long they ended up looking through two photo albums when Vernon and Petunia reminded them of the painting they still had to do. Lily and Petunia hurried to put the tea set away and Vernon offered to put the albums away. _

"_Takashi do you mind helping me with something for a moment?" Harold asked with a hand on Kakashi's shoulder. Vernon looked over his shoulder at the question and chuckled. _

"_No I don't mind," Kakashi replied though warning bells went off at Vernon's reaction. Harold led Kakashi out toward his garage and gestured to a metal box on top of metal shelf at the back wall. _

"_Could you get that toolbox down, I'd like to give it to Vernon,"Kakashi nodded and quickly found a stool to stand on as he got the box down. _

_Once Kakashi was on the stool though, Harold spoke again, "Now, Takashi, I know you and Lily just started to dating but I wanted to make this clear before you two got too serious…" Kakashi paused with his fingertips brushing against the metal box. _

"_Yes sir?" Kakashi questioned over his shoulder and noted that Harold had a serious expression adorning his face. _

"_Now, I want to be perfectly clear, I know you young people now and days don't care so much about tradition and what not, but…" Harold paused as he fixed Kakashi with a hard glare, "before things get too…intimate, my baby-girl better have a ring on her finger, am I clear?"_

_Kakashi furrowed his brow and quickly took the tool box, which was surprisingly heavy, from the shelf and turned around. _

_Kakashi was fairly certain he had misheard the man but then he also thought his brain had shut down after the "intimate" comment. He knew his mouth was open and he was trying to formulate a response but nothing was coming to him. He kept catching himself up on him and Lily being intimate. He hadn't thought once about that since they started dating and now he was overwhelming himself with the various consequences_

"_Takashi am I clear?" Harold asked again in a sterner voice. Kakashi blinked repeatedly before gave a quick bow and said yes, or at least he thought he had…Harold was giving him a confused look. _

_Kakashi shook his head and tried again, "You made your self perfectly clear, sir-Harry," Kakashi took a deep breath and clapped his hands together, "Lily is my friend first and foremost so…" Oh Gods, why was it so warm, why was room spinning, why couldn't he breathe. _

"_Excuse me, I need air," Kakashi quickly left the garage and inhaled deeply but it wasn't helping. _

"'_Kashi! Are you okay, are you having a panic attack?" Kakashi looked over at Lily who was gently holding onto his arm. When did she get there?_

"_Huh? Um…maybe?" Kakashi could not get his breathing under control. He couldn't focus on anything, it was all sort of spinning together. _

_He thought he could hear people talking but he wasn't sure. If Kakashi was going to be completely frank, he was more concerned by the intimate comment then the marriage comment. Marriage seemed less terrifying than well… But why? Was it because what he had with Lily was real, very real. Because he wasn't aiming to seduce her or gain information from her? Or because she loved him… and well….he couldn't quite finish that train of thought. _

_Perhaps the most terrifying part was that whatever he would have with Lily would be real, really real. Kakashi closed his eyes tightly at a sudden memory, a memory he had blocked out of his mind for four years…_

_His first mission with ANBU… He was on the seduction division for that mission, it was the one and only mission he had been in that division for. The target was a kunoichi, a guarded kunoichi with an appetite for teenage boys. He had missed her heart by a few centimeters and she was slowly drowning to death, but she was going to retaliate so he quickly slit her throat. She gurgled on her own blood as it pooled around them. He had only been fifteen and what should have been special was reduced to a simple means of lowering an opponent's guard._

_Kakashi dropped to a crouch and breathed in deeply. No…no matter how much his hormones might say yes, he couldn't be intimate with Lily. Not when all his previous relations were forced on him to gain information or to kill. He might have been all bravado, but what it dwindled down to was…was a lie he told himself and let other believe. _

_Lily was crouching beside him a hand on his back. He gave her an eye-smile and hopped back to his feet. Lily slowly stood up with a frown in place. "Vernon, Harry wants you to have this toolbox, where should I put it?" Lily began to shake her head in disapproval but Kakashi paid her no mind and waited for Vernon's dumbfounded reply. _

_Harold was looking at him from the garage with his brow furrowed, he seemed alarmed yet also relieved, which was surprising to Kakashi. Petunia looked worried and Kakashi was starting feel annoyed that everyone was staring at him like that. He quickly put the toolbox inside the car and when he closed the door Lily was giving him a hard look. _

"_Let's go on a walk," Kakashi nodded and let her lead him away, all the while he kept his eye-smile in place. They were at the end of the street before Lily spoke again. _

"_Do you want to talk about it?" Lily began slowly with a low voice. _

"_Hmm? Talk about what?" he responded with his eye-smile, yet again, she shook her head. _

"_Takashi please stop that," she stopped walking and looked him straight in the eye. _

_He raised an eyebrow in response and she shook her head, "Stop pretending nothing happened and that you're happy. I know it's fake and Petunia's starting to figure that out as well," stubbornly he kept up the eye-smile and Lily shook her head again. _

"_You had a panic attack over my father's no pre-matrimonial sex rule, and he's under the impression that it wasn't because of the marriage clause," when he didn't respond she wrapped her arms around his middle and set her head against his chest, Kakashi made himself relax and loosely return the hug. _

"_Please 'Kashi, were friends, first and foremost. We support each other. Let me support you," she sounded on the edge of tears and Kakashi bowed his head in shame. He knew that, and right now she would tell him he was being stupid but he couldn't tell her, he couldn't. He would be confessing he was murderer… a spy. _

"'_Kashi if you don't speak soon I'll assume the worst," Kakashi furrowed his brow at this statement, would she really assume the worst?_

_Kakashi pulled away from Lily, his face blank, "And what would that be?" he asked softly. _

_Lily looked down at the ground but eventually worked up enough nerve to look Kakashi in the eye, "Y-you were raped?"_

_Kakashi couldn't stop the bitter laugh that escaped him, "No, I was ordered," Lily's eyes widened and Kakashi closed his eyes tightly as he gave a bitter smile. _

"_To sleep with someone?" Lily sounded sick and incredulous._

"_To seduce a target" Kakashi stated as he shoved his hands in his pockets and began walking again. Lily quickly caught back up to him, her eyes were wide and she looked confused. _

"_Why? What happened then?" She reached out for his arm but he shied away from her touch and regarded her intently. _

"_Do you really want to know?" Lily looked hesitant, worried. Kakashi almost hoped she wouldn't agree but then she nodded curtly and with determination. _

"_I'm your friend, your girlfriend, you can tell me," she reached her hands out again but Kakashi backed up again. _

"_You might not want to be," he gave a bitter smile and sighed. Lily took a step back in alarm. _

"_Why would say that?"_

_Kakashi didn't reply right away, instead he took a deep breath as he looked down at his feet. "I was fifteen, my superiors ordered me to seduce and eliminate a target," Lily gasped in shock, but Kakashi didn't dare to look up, "except she always kept her defenses up, at least until…" Kakashi slowly looked up at Lily who regarded him with wide eyes and her hands over her mouth. _

"_I hope you never have to kill anyone," Kakashi bowed his head, his voice had shook as he said those words and before he knew what he was doing he added, "because you end up killing part of yourself too…"_

_Kakashi looked around and licked his lips, "I can find my way back to London," he started to walk off. He didn't expect Lily to accept him or want to be near him after that confession, though he had naively hoped. _

_His first true friend, his first girlfriend…and he undid the relationship with a few simple sentences. He gave a bitter laugh and continued on in the direction he was going, at least until he felt someone trying to tackle him. He side stepped but caught Lily before she face planted into the sidewalk. _

"_You do not just walk away after disclosing something like that!" she shouted as she righted herself and poked him hard in the chest. Her glare faltered she quickly threw her arms around him. "Thank you for trusting me, for telling me…" her voice was thick and shaking. "and I know what you mean…it really does kill part of you," she swallowed and began to cry. _

_Kakashi's eyes widened and he quickly wrapped his arms around Lily as her knees gave out under her. Did Lily….did she just confess to having…_

"_Lily what do you mean?" she pulled her face away from his chest, but used Kakashi to stay upright. _

_She sniffed, her face already red and blotchy, "I…I killed someone…it was self-defense but…" she swallowed thickly again, "I was so afraid to tell you, and you said it yourself, it kills part of you," she gave a weak smile and wrapped her arms more tightly around his shoulders. _

_Kakashi ducked his head into her hair and felt a pressure building in his throat and behind his eyes. "Lily…" he pulled her closer to him, "why are you so understanding…?"_

"_You were in a war 'Kashi…I'm not naïve, and you clearly show remorse for what happened."_

_Kakashi would deny it later, but hearing the acceptance in Lily's voice…it let his defenses go down enough that he actually…he felt ashamed that he was crying along with her, but damn it. Who would have thought they could relate to one another like this? Part of him wondered who Lily had killed though he imagined it was a Death Eater, perhaps from that raid on the park? _

_They held onto each other at let their remorse out…as they supported each other. _

Kakashi looked around his old studio apartment and shook his head. Why couldn't this building manager have been his old one? "Wow," Kakashi admitted as he looked around. The building manager chuckled at his response and led Kakashi to the rooftop garden, a community garden.

"That is just not fair," Kakashi lamented much to his guide's amusement as he looked around the mini garden.

"Well the times change," the new building manager stated before gesturing for Kakashi to head back toward the exit. Kakashi chuckled and nodded his head.

It was a surprise, certainly, to see his former hole in the wall apartment complex turn into such a…well really nice and modern apartment complex. Kakashi thanked the building manager and began walking again, consequently heading toward that red telephone booth that he still believed led to the Ministry of Magic.

Kakashi was still blown away by how supportive Lily was, how understanding she was. Part of him wished he had confessed who he really was but he couldn't do that, not without compromising his village, not when he had no guarantee she could join him in the Elemental Lands.

Kakashi shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets. He could still remember the worried looks the Evans family and Vernon threw at him, and he remembered the hesitant conversations Vernon tried to start with him while they were painting one of the bedrooms, but none of that matter to him. What mattered now and even back then, was that Lily accepted him, that she could understand somewhat. Perhaps that was what still made her such a dear and sincere friend to him, even today. Perhaps that was the same reason Severus Snape was also still one of his closest and truest friends.

Kakashi chuckled as he remembered the turning point in their relationship. Two weeks into dating and one look was all it had taken the wizard to deduce Kakashi and Lily were dating. Kakashi shook his head and let himself remember that rather intense encounter with the dour man.

_Lily tugged insistently on Kakashi's arm as they made their way toward a café where they agreed to meet up with Severus and have a coffee, or rather a cup of tea since none of them really drank coffee. _

"_I don't understand why you're being so…so reluctant. You and Severus had fun at the New Year's Eve party, in fact I thought you two were becoming friends," Lily gave up tugging on his arm after "reluctant" and began poking him in the chest to emphasize her words. _

"_But Lily," Kakashi whined, he was joking but part of him was relieved he could act this way, and not be judged, "it's going to be soooo awkward," she gave him a deadpan look with her hands on her hips. _

"_No it won't, and if this is about Severus's supposed crush on me—"_

"_Not supposed, real," Kakashi interrupted which caused the redhead to roll her eyes and mumble something about misconstrued friendship. Kakashi just hummed and let her pull him toward the café. _

"_It won't be awkward," Lily stated in an attempt to reassure him. _

"_Yes it will, he'll know the moment he sees us." _

_Lily gave him an exasperated look along with an equally exasperated sigh, "No he won't, besides we want him to know we're dating."_

"_I know, but I'm telling you, the moment we step foot inside, he'll know."_

_Lily gave him annoyed look, "No he won't, it will take at least until we sit down," _

"_Uh huh, and how much are you will to bet on that?"Kakashi chuckled when she pushed his shoulder and rolled her eyes at his behavior. _

"_I don't bet 'Kashi," she replied dryly._

"_So you know?" Kakashi replied and she shoved him again while shaking her head though she was smiling. Kakashi chuckled again and spontaneously decided to press a kiss to her temple, her smile broadened and they soon were entering the café._

_Severus immediately spotted them and had a slight grin on his face which quickly fell while his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Severus waited until they were standing in front of him before he spoke, "You two are dating," it should have been a question but it held no upward inflection, in fact it sounded a little incredulous or even betrayed. The man narrowed his beady eyes and set them on Kakashi who gave a weak chuckle and quickly sat down. _

_Lily sighed at sat down beside him, "Okay, you were right," Lily conceded to both Kakashi and Severus, who sat down heavily. _

"_When did you two start dating?" from Kakashi's perspective, Severus look offended but of course he hid this well from Lily and any untrained spies. _

"_At Tunney's wedding," Lily replied quickly. A waiter came to their table but Severus paid the man no mind and Lily had to tell him to come back in a little while. _

"_And I'm only now being told?"_

"_Mr. Snape, it's only been two weeks," Kakashi replied and met the man's deadpan look without flinching. _

"_Severus you've been busy and so have we, I would have told you sooner but with studying for test the teaching certification and the job interviews and then with the…" Lily quickly trailed off and Severus began to glare at Kakashi. _

"_What?"_

_Kakashi sighed, "There was a fire and I was hospitalized for smoke inhalation for about a week," in Kakashi's minds eye the encounter with the Death Eater's replayed in his mind, from the snake/skull cloud overhead to incapacitating and stabbing one of the Death Eaters. He thought he felt someone trying to use a genjutsu on him but he was sure he was mistaken, but then he was in Severus's presence and he had strange abilities. _

_Severus's eyes were wide and Lily glaring at him again, "Severus," she hissed but he just shook his head and ignored her. _

"_Let's go for a walk, Mr. Hatake," he suggested as he stood up. Kakashi narrowed his eyes for moment but figured this could possibly play in his favor._

"_Severus!" Lily called sharply as she stood up along with the Jounin and wizard. _

"_Mah, Lily, Mr. Snape just wants to talk in private, don't worry," He gave her an eye smile and she huffed as she sat back down. _

"_Fine but if you two aren't back in a half hour I'll start a search team," Kakashi chuckled and walked out of the café with the glaring wizard. _

_He followed a few paces behind Severus as the wizard quickly made his way to an alley. The wizard turned on him with his wand out. Kakashi merely raised an eyebrow and shoved his hands in his pockets. _

"_Going to hex me or whatever you wizards do?" the man glared at his response, whatever caused the man to come out here and reveal his wizard status, suggested the gig was up for Kakashi. _

"_No I'm going to oblivate you like you should have been, but first you're going to tell me what you are and what you're doing with Lily," the wizard hissed and readied his arm. _

"_Now why would I do that, Mr. Snape?"Kakashi asked as he slowly moved toward the other man. "I am no traitor to my country."_

"_I have my ways," Severus stated and Kakashi could not help the smirk that began to form on his lips. _

"_So do I. Did they ever find…Longfellow I think his name was," the wand wavered and Kakashi let KI begin to seep out of him. Severus's eyes widened further and he took several hasty steps backwards as he tried to train his wand back on Kakashi. _

_He could see the wizard's lips begin to move so he quickly substituted his body with a trashcan that had been behind Severus. The Jounin then slammed the wizard against the brick wall and forced the wand out of his hand. He let more KI seep out and he could see the man was frozen in place by his own fear. _

_Kakashi shook his head, "Mr. Snape," he began as he pulled a kunai and quickly cut open the wizard's left sleeve, "lets continue our conversation elsewhere, unless of course you want Lily to see what you're affiliated with,"Kakashi pressed the blunt edge of the blade against the tattoo he now clearly saw on the underside of Severus's arm. _

_Severus was breathing heavily in his panic. Kakashi had to hand it to the man, most civilians would have fainted or pissed themselves by now from the amount of KI he was exuding. _

_Kakashi picked up the wizard's wand and in movements the wizard couldn't follow, Kakashi used bodyflicker to transport them several buildings away and onto a roof. _

_The jutsu left the wizard disoriented and he stumbled away from Kakashi, consequently toward the edge of the roof. Kakashi caught the man by the back of his robe as he gave a cry of fear since his upper body was tipped over the edge. "Now, Mr. Snape. I'm going to contact my superior. He will decide whether you take a nasty tumble off this roof, or you become an informant for us." Severus was speechless in his disorientation and fear. _

_Kakashi quickly tossed the man back onto the roof and ran through the signs and seals needed to summon Pakkun. The wizard eyed the dog with distrust but he was still too afraid to move let alone do anything. Kakashi quickly explained the situation to the pug in their native language, though he left out his relationship with Lily, he stressed his opinion that Severus would make an excellent informant on these Death Eaters before he sent Pakkun back to Konoha through his seal. _

_The dog disappeared with another puff of smoke and Kakashi continued to use his KI to immobilize the wizard. As the minutes passed in waiting for Pakkun to return, Severus began to regain some of his nerve._

"_W-what are you?" Kakashi remained silent but in the blink of an eye, he had his knee pressed against Severus's stomach and his kunai to the wizard's neck. The man went limp and began to breathe rapidly in fear. _

"_Are you really going to kill me, Lily will know," his voice trembled and Kakashi gave the man an eye smile. _

"_Suicide is not that uncommon," the wizard gulped audibly, consequently cutting himself slightly on the kunai held at his throat. _

"_Besides, I'm told I'm a brilliant actor,"Kakashi pulled the knife away and quickly used the henge jutsu to look just like the cowering man below him. The wizard in haled sharply and Kakashi sneered down at him just as he had seen the man sneer many a time. _

"_Is-is this some mission then?" the wizard asked in a desperate and panicked voice, "Is what you're doing with Lily some—"_

"_No," Kakashi let the henge go and brought the kunai back to the man's neck, "it's an accident, I shouldn't be with Lily," Severus's brow furrowed and it looked like he was regaining more of his nerve, in fact he was starting to look for his wand. Kakashi made a tsking noise and slowly shook his head. _

"_Should we revisit the edge of the roof?" the wizard's eyes widened and he began to shake his head but Kakashi was already hauling him up to walk to the edge of the building. Kakashi circulated his chakra in his feet and walked a few feet down the side of it. _

_Severus flailed about and gave a startled cry. Kakashi walked back over and threw the man down onto the roof top once more. "Afraid of heights are we?" Kakashi asked, "Then perhaps we should go with a noose?"Kakashi asked as he crouched down in front of the wizard and eye-smiled. _

_That seemed to shut Severus up and Kakashi was thankful for that, he was sure he would blow his cool, deadly façade if he had to keep talking. He really hoped Hokage-sama would see the benefit in having an informant_

_Ten more minutes passed in tense silence before Pakkun returned with a scroll tied to his neck. Kakashi summoned a clone and had it set a kunai to Severus's throat, the man didn't need to know it wasn't solid and really just an illusion, he was fearful enough not to do anything. _

_Kakashi opened the scroll and found it was an array for a seal as well as instructions for what each part of the seal meant. The Jounin managed to keep his expression neutral as he took out sealing paint from a storage seal and began to draw the array on the ceiling roof. Once the black ink was dry he hauled Severus to the center kicking and screaming at him to let him go. Clearly the man thought this was some horrific ritual. Kakashi managed to keep his expression neutral as he took the man's shirt off. _

"_What the hell are you do?! Don't- what are you?! Let me go!" Kakashi kept his frustration to himself and pulled up the eye patch over his sharingan. To Severus it would just seem like Kakashi's eye had turned red and hypnotic. Just as he had hoped, the man became entranced by his sharingan and Kakashi quickly began to draw the array lines up wizard's body. The lines went up Severus's arms, torso and neck and ended at his lips. That was when Kakashi forced the wizard's mouth open and took hold of the wizard's tongue. _

_The trance was broke and Severus began to thrash about, "Keep moving and your tongue will be ripped out," Kakashi threatened which stilled the wizard. Kakashi quickly painted the final array onto the underside of the man's tongue and let the sealing paint dry before he let go._

_He then trapped the wizard in his sharingan again and moved the edge of the array. Kakashi moved through the necessary seals and quickly finished the seal. _

_The trance was broken again and Severus gasped at the sudden pain, but it was over before the wizard knew it. Kakashi knelt in front of Severus panting and he gave a small smile. _

"_All done Mr. Snape. Ask me any question you have," Kakashi pulled the eye patch back down and his diguise became complete again. _

"_What the Hell did you just do to me?" the man shouted as he stood up, his chest was heaving as he looked down at this body. He seemed confused, perhaps he was wondering where all of the paint had gone. "What kind of demon magic was that?"_

"_No magic, no demons. I put a seal on you," the wizard stopped his panicking for a moment and look at him as if he was insane. "The seal I put on you will make you physically unable to talk about anything related to my real identity and my home country. You will also die if you do manage to tell anyone."_

_Severus was still breathing heavy but he sat down numbly. "Why? How?"_

"_Always the scholar," Kakashi joked half-heartedly but his smile fell. "You knew I wasn't from this world, that I'm not the average human but neither am I a wizard. We can't erase memories like your kind can, but we can kill and we can make seals. Do you understand me?" Severus nodded his head slightly, still alarmed. _

"_I'm glad my superior agreed to the seal…" Kakashi looked away and felt uncomfortable for even confessing that much. The man was pleasant to be around despite his prickly attitude. He was also Lily's friend, best friend. _

"_As for what seals are….well…typically they are used to confine or store something but they're so much more than that. I can't even begin to explain what all they do, let alone how complex a science they are because I have very little knowledge on them. But Hokage-sama, the one who designed the seal I put on you, he is a master, not as good as his student or my teacher, but still very good."_

_Severus looked lost for a moment but just shook his head, "You can explain that better later…" he waved his hand and eyed Kakashi warily, "Why aren't you trying to kill me now? Was that all an act? And what the hell were you doing to me?"_

_Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at all of the questions as well as deductions, "You're correct, it was an act, though if my superior ordered me to kill you I would have had to," Kakashi looked down at the roof and licked his lips, "He'd probably have me kill Lily if she ever found out…hef knowing what I am and where I'm from would have no benefit to us, unlike with you."_

"_You wouldn't," Severus hissed as he lunged at Kakashi. Kakashi dodged out of the way and stood up. _

"_I don't plan for that to become an issue, do you understand," Severus glared at him in response. _

"_And what if it does?" Severus shot back, as he stood up to retrieve his shirt. _

"_If it does…" Kakashi didn't have an answer, at least not a truthful one. He could say he would kill her but he would be lying to himself. He couldn't even if he was ordered, but he would have to…_

_Severus's glare softened and he looked at Kakashi in alarm. It was as if the man knew what he was thinking, knew what was conflicting him. "You love Lily. You ran after her into that fire for her safety, not the Death Eaters, and the Death Eaters are your mission aren't they? And you wouldn't be able to kill her, would you? Not even if you were ordered"_

_Kakashi glared at the wizard who was now sneering at him. "So what are you that makes orders and missions so important and disobeying them so horrible, hmm? Mr. Hatake, if that's even your real name," the wizard had certainly regained his backbone now that the threat of death was off of him._

_Kakashi held his ground for a moment longer but he slumped down to the rooftop. Gods, was Severus right? Was that why he couldn't imagine killing Lily, was that why he had run into the fire like that? Kakashi closed his eyes in defeat. _

"_My name's Kakashi Hatake: operative of ANBU or Special Assassination and Tactical Squad. I am from Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves of the Elemental Lands. I graduated from the ninja academy at age five, and was promoted at age eight. I was promoted once more at age thirteen during the Third Shinobi World War and became a squad leader. By age fifteen I was inducted into ANBU. _

"_I was sent to London on a mission to ascertain the threat of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. I send weekly reports to my village leader and superior. All of this is to determine if my country will need to intervene in any way with your wizard war."_

_Kakashi finally looked up and noted that Severus was staring at him with his mouth hanging open. "Ninja?" _

_Kakashi sighed in relief and chuckled slightly, "Yes, ninja. You saw what I could do. I can make copies of myself, usually it's just an illusion. I can switch places with objects, use smoke screens, I can walk on walls and hang from ceilings. I'm also much faster than the average human. In addition, I can harness my killing intent into an aura which physically immobilizes an opponent," Kakashi suddenly had an idea and he gave Severus a rather devious smile. _

"_Would you like to learn how to harness your KI?" _

_Severus blinked in confusion and raised an eyebrow. "KI, killing intent, that was what you used on me to keep me still?"_

"_It was your own fear that kept you still but, yes," Kakashi gave an eye-smile. "We can practice on children!" he stated cheerfully. _

"_We should be getting back to Lily, she probably thinks we've killed each other…"Severus shifted uncomfortably as he said this, likely because that almost had been the case. _

"_Or we could explain that we were bonding over the art of terrifying children, and she can find us doing so?"_

_Severus's lips quirked up at that and he shook his head. "That would certainly help our case, but would you please explain why your superior agreed to this seal?"_

"_Because you could be our informant," Kakashi replied immediately, "My leads with the Death Eaters have turned up nothing, I am no more aware of their goals than when I kidnapped Longfellow."_

_Severus looked at him with wide eyes and began to shake his head, "Oh please, Mr. Snape, you make a perfect spy, and this way, you can make up for your mistake in joining their faction. Death Eaters are against muggleborns, and that is what Lily is, right?"_

_Severus bowed his head and slowly began to nod, his protests stamped and trampled down on. "Very well, but since you're a…" Severus found he couldn't say the word he intended to and just made a circular motion and pointed at Kakashi "do you have any pointers on spying," _

_Kakashi smiled genuinely and offered out the wizard's wand, "Do I ever."_

* * *

**_A Suivre_**

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****end of this chapter, I have to write all new stuff so the updates might be slower. Also it's finally nice out and I'm going to be starting work/classes so updates might be slower due to that, but who knows? I know the last part might seem OOC but think about everything happening to Snape being so out of the norm he can't help but adapt or have his brain explode...? And I'm just cutting that off there, they obviously continue to talk about Konoha and what not. Also I'm using the seal on Sai as the inspiration for the one put on Snape. Hopefully that answers questions. Hope y'all enjoyed it. ~ Love, depressedchildren


	9. Chapter 8: Reminisces and Searching Pt 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** silliness, swearing, implied torture, fluffiness, suggestiveness, and cafes

**A/N: **Yep, updating! Finally had a breakthrough in writing for this, but the next update might take a while. In this chapter I mention the fate of Regulus Black, but I can't remember how he died and I don't think the book talked about it. Either the inferi, the potion, or Voldemort got him, but I don't know which the correct one in the book is. So, if I'm mistaken, sorry. Anyways, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites ~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

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_**Chapitre huit: La Camaraderie et L'Amour  
**_

* * *

Kakashi smiled to himself as he continued down the road toward the red telephone booth. That had been the start of terrific friendship based on intimidating little children and espionage –as well as a mutual love for Lily that had platonic roots. Kakashi was still, to this day, amazed by Severus's ability to give Lily up like that. Of course, the Jounin and Wizard had many arguments, which eventually devolved into threatening each other at kunai or wand point, respectively. But usually the two got on famously and he did admire the wizard. Many times Kakashi wished he could have been as brave as Severus, but perhaps he finally accomplished that by coming back here to let go of Lily?

Kakashi shook his head, a small smile played on his lips. Severus had truly become a good friend to Kakashi. Somehow, the dour wizard could always explain Kakashi's jumbled up thoughts and tell him bluntly what he was really thinking – what he was lying to himself about. In the last twelve years, he had desperately wanted the other man's counsel, or any bit of advice he could give. Maybe then things wouldn't have blown up as much as they had…

Kakashi could just imagine Severus smacking him upside the head for how he was "teaching" his genin. Honestly, Kakashi had no clue how to teach Team 7. They could barely function as a team; what with Sakura so far behind the boys and in her fangirl phase. Then there was Sasuke who refused to play nice and seldom listened to instruction; unless of course he believed it would help him in killing his brother. Naruto was the only dedicated member of the team at that time, but with their dysfunctional dynamics the boy was held back.

The wizard would have come up with some brilliant mind game that would break his two troublesome students out of their destructive behaviors, or perhaps he would have invented a behavior modification potion to give to Kakashi – who would slip it to his students. But no, unfortunately he couldn't contact the other man, not once. Kakashi was doomed to be the worst Jounin instructor in the history of Konoha.

No! He had to stop thinking along those lines. What was done was done. The Elemental Lands survived the ensuing war, and peace became a reality. Nothing could be changed, even though so many people were lost… He'd rather think of his dour friend than that.

_Kakashi shot up from his "bed," a kunai drawn out of habit. Then the rapping came at his door again along with a familiar voice, "Damn it Hatake, open up!"Kakashi chuckled to himself and walked over to the door to let the wizard in. Severus was scowling, as per usual, though there was a nervous shifting in his eyes. _

_As Severus stepped in, Kakashi noted the man already took stock of where all the exits were to Kakashi's flat. He removed his long billowing cloak and folded it over the backrest of the couch. Thought that drew his attention the couch and he sneered down at the sheets. "No bed?" _

"_Stipend couldn't cover that and there's little room enough as is," Kakashi replied smoothly with an eye-smile. However, for his guest, Kakashi began to fold up the sheets. Severus glared at him while he did it. He could practically feel the wizard's eyes noting every movement, noticing ever twitch of his muscles. It would have been nerve-wracking to any lesser man. _

"_You're impossible," the wizard stated incredulously after a pause. This statement caused Kakashi to raise an eyebrow as a way of asking what the hell he was on about. Severus just scowled and made a vague gesture at Kakashi's person, "People are not supposed to look like Greek statues." _

_Kakashi straightened with his sheets folded over his arm while he continued to look at Severus in confusion. "I'm not Greek?" he replied slowly, his confusion clear. Severus rolled his eyes and sat down in what Kakashi that was an excessively dramatic yet precise fashion. The man could be a ninja for all his precision and flare – most ninja were eccentric, at least the higher ranked ones, not so much the green ones. Kakashi kept that thought to himself and sat down next to the other man. _

"_I feel no need to repeat myself, but it's just wrong," Severus was no longer looking at him; instead, he was looking disapprovingly at the water marks in the corner of the studio. _

_Kakashi was sure his eyebrow would become stuck if he didn't lower it soon, and since the wizard wasn't looking at him, Kakashi let his face slide into a mask of neutrality, "If that was a comment about my physique, I would gladly teach you some self-defense and give you a training regimen." _

_Severus's only response was a mere quirking of one eyebrow, though Kakashi could tell the man was not going to turn down the offer. Kakashi smirked at his newfound friend and added, "You could be Lily's sparring partner, though I warn you," Kakashi paused and leaned in slightly, "she shows more skin during training than she normally does."_

_Severus scoffed and fixed Kakashi with his own smirk "You weren't there to witness the Miniskirt Revolution. Fifth year was by far the best year because of that," _

"_Miniskirt?" Kakashi asked again with a raised eyebrow, he really had to stop doing that, it was likely to get stuck. _

"_Think pleated skirts that barely reach mid-thigh and then think every girl in the school ages thirteen and up wearing those skirts." By the end of Severus's explanation he was mimicking the wizard's rather salacious smirk._

"_Hmm, that does sound interesting, but I've seen my share of scantily clad women, granted they're usually trying to kill you," Kakashi chuckled and Severus gave a short incredulous laugh as well. _

_Kakashi sobered quickly however, and looked Severus critically in the eye, "What's the problem?"_

"_No problem," Severus refused to look at him and Kakashi sighed._

"_Don't do that when you're with those Death Eaters, they'll know you're keeping something from them," Severus jerked his attention back to Kakashi, his eyes wide with alarm – of course it was a minute reaction, but still noticeable to any spy worth his salt. Kakashi continued on now that he had the wizard's undivided attention, "Look them straight in the eye — or look at their nose if you can't look them in the eye, but either way," Kakashi stressed as he followed his own advice, "look at them dead on without fear. They won't suspect something then, and you'll gain their respect."_

_Severus held his gaze for a moment before dropping it and looking at the space between them. "I don't know if I can do this…" Severus confessed at last, fear made his voice tremble, "__**He**__ tortured a deserter to death right in front of us tonight…It was…" Severus brought the back of his hand to his mouth as if to hold back vomit and his eyes flitted about as if he could still see what happened. "Merlin, I knew him, he was in my house. He was barely out of school," Severus choked out, his whole frame shook in some terrible fear that Kakashi had seen echoed in Longfellow. It was likely a fear of Voldemort, of betraying the dark wizard._

"_The boy was half dead when he was placed in front of us. Pale from being shut away, thin from starvation," Severus spat the last words out in disgust before he shut his eyes painfully closed, "They had cut off—"Severus broke off as if to gag "one of his arms….… Merlin, what had Regulus done to invoke such ire, not but a week early was he in the Dark Lord's favor…"_

_Kakashi sat stoically beside the usually composed man, it was best to let him get it all out. It was clearly too traumatic for him to process what happened to this Housemate. He was surprised the man had not started to cry, Kakashi had seen many do the same as they recounted the horrors of seeing their allies cunt down before them. Kakashi could confess to being emotional in front of his own counselor. There was no shame in this, none, even if shinobi code said otherwise. _

_Severus covered his head in his hands and took in a gasping breath, "There were so many scars already on him before he was taken to us, as if he had been tortured for days upon days… Then He kept using curcio on Regulus, again and again… the stump of his arm kept banging on the floor…"_

_Kakashi shut his eyes; it was common for one to focus on one aspect of such an event more than the rest of it. Kakashi could imagine that Severus was unable to pull his focus away from the amputated appendage. Perhaps it was easier to focus on that, than seeing a familiar face sunken from starvation and distorted in agony? _

"_Then he started using other hexes," Severus's voice was small as if he was miles away, "the blood….everywhere…"_

_Severus seemed finished, he had brought his head out of his hands by that point, and he was shaking. He just stared off into space, his jaw tight. _

_Kakashi took a deep breath. He was impressed with how composed Severus had remained until he had an opportunity to confide in Kakashi. Not many would have lasted as long as he had. Clearly the wizard had not given himself away at the meeting, and Severus stayed composed for however long it took to find his address. He doubted the man apparted here, he would have heard the crack or pop from it. _

_Kakashi leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. His hands were clasped together in front of him. He exhaled again and looked at the wizard out of the corner of his eye. "You made it here without incident, you're better than you think," Kakashi stated at last, "They don't suspect you do they?" _

_Severus swallowed thickly but shook his head, "They don't suspect," he affirmed in a trembling voice. _

"_You can't back out, Severus, not from the Death Eaters if that's what they do to deserters." Severus nodded feebly, "So what will you do, just be forced to go along with their muggle-born hating ways, and do nothing to make the situation even marginally better? Think of Lily, they're targeting her too." That struck a chord, as Kakashi knew it would. _

_Kakashi paused as an idea came to him. "Perhaps you could even spy for whatever faction opposes Voldemort, but you still spy for me first," Kakashi stated, "because if Hokage-sama wants to intervene, Voldemort will be dead before the next dawn."_

_Severus shivered but a ghost of a smile played on his lips, "And how would you do that, Mr. Hatake?" some of his original composure and cold attitude was returning. Good._

"_From the shadows with him being none the wiser," Kakashi stated simply. "I don't have magic to alert people, and so long as I can sneak into your magical wards—"  
_

"_You can't" Severus interjected and Kakashi shook his head. _

"_You have so little faith in me, Mr. Snape," he teased with an eye-smile before morphing his features into a stoic mask, "I'm a trained assassin, I'd make it look like something else tripped the alarm. Perhaps a bird or dog?" Kakashi mused before continuing in his deadly serious manner, "and then I would kill your Voldemort from the shadows with a kunai. You wizards don't have many shields or protections from physical attacks, do you?"_

_Severus shook his head in negation. He was relaxing a little more, perhaps relieved that Kakashi had planned some things; though, if the wizard's smirk was any guess, he had thought of another possible wrench in Kakashi's tentative plans. "And how would you know where he was and at what time?"_

"_You of course, or I would stake out the place," Kakashi answered dismissively, "But I haven't received that order, which is contingent upon what you discover."_

_Severus sighed and leaned his head back against the backrest as he closed his eyes tiredly, "Why did he do that to Regulus?" he asked feebly._

"_Because you're at war," Kakashi responded immediately which caused the wizard to turn his head and gaze at the Jounin. "It brings out the worst in humanity, the worst in everyone."_

_Kakashi looked away and ran a hand through his hair before he continued speaking, "I don't believe your friend deserted, he did something worse," Kakashi paused and gathered his thoughts. Though such cruel behavior was in Voldemort's character, it was not necessarily his preferred style. Kakashi prided himself on profiling potential targets and this seemed too excessive, almost vengeful, as well as a waste of time. No, there was more to this, Voldemort was acting like any tyrant who had had his livelihood or life threatened. _

"_You said it yourself, he was tortured before, likely for days. They had been extracting information, and a man like Voldemort would kill swiftly for the relish of a kill, why drag it out unless he wanted your friend to suffer until the very end? This sounded like revenge to me, for some attempt on his life or plans."_

_Severus looked at him sharply, as if the thought was impossible, yet not. Then horror started to spread over his features, though admittedly it was restrained. "Am I not doing just that!?" Severus shot back icily. Kakashi sighed, yes that was a valid point._

"_You'll be more subtle, than him," Kakashi reassured, "Think of what I've taught you, what I'm still teaching you."_

_Severus shook his head and rubbed at his face tiredly, "You don't understand, every meeting I just know someone else knows I'm spying…"_

_Kakashi shook his head and scoffed, "I highly doubt that. You remained composed in the face of what Voldemort did to your housemate, right?" Severus nodded stiffly, paling at the memory, "and your remained composed until you came here. You have more skill than you think." The compliment caused the muscles around the wizard's lips to twitch in an almost smile. _

_Good, some confidence was returning. "I'll help you to illuminate your tells and to phrase questions to gain information. Mr. Snape, I'll make an infiltration expert out of you yet, so don't you worry. And I must remind you, being a spy is amoral at times, so you'll have to give a little to get anything of value. Earn Voldemort's trust and then exploit it relentlessly," Kakashi was smirking maliciously, "I'll coach you through it."_

_Severus gave a dry laugh and tilted his head against the backrest, his fears seemed somewhat abated at the reminded he wouldn't be going in green. He paused for a bit, perhaps amused by the prospect of double crossing the most powerful wizard without him being any wiser. Kakashi had faith the man could do it, he did have ninja as a teacher. _

_Severus rolled his head to the side to look at Kakashi, "What does your real name mean, Mr. Hatake?"_

"_Essentially, a scarecrow in a field," Kakashi replied immediately and was pleased to see the man laugh, even if at the Jounin's expense. _

"_Fitting," Severus drawled. "You can be quite terrifying yet unsuspecting. Just hiding in an idyllic place."_

_Kakashi eye-smiled and laughed briefly, "Yes, yes I can be terrifying, and ninja often posed as farmers in the olden days. Now… do you want a few more pointers on Killing Intent?"_

"_Of course," _

_The two men gave each other sadistic smiles. They couldn't be their sadistic, passive aggressive selves around Lily, but with each other, well it was refreshing. Lily was complementary to both of them, but Severus and Kakashi were practically one in the same. _

Kakashi smiled to himself as he imagined Severus treating any of James Potter's offspring poorly. Passive aggressive described both of them indeed; after all, Kakashi had a lazy attitude to maintain and couldn't seem overly aggressive or vengeful. Thus the inopportune appearances, making everyone wait for him, and the occasional divulging of embarrassing secrets were his method of revenge. Oh yes, any of the "Marauders'" children will likely be tortured by Severus when they go to Hogwarts.

Hmm…? Kakashi was fairly certain Severus was working at Hogwarts – unless he died in the war or was sent to prison for his affiliation with Voldemort. Kakashi knew Voldemort had become less of a threat over the years, and since Muggle London was standing, the man clearly had not won the wizarding war. He wondered what stopped the war, or at least put it to the background.

Regardless of such things, Kakashi really was not sure how his friend was doing. The potions expert had applied for a teaching position at Hogwarts, and Severus had been so certain about getting a job there. Kakashi almost wanted to find the man and catch up with him, if the threat of being hexed back to the Elemental Lands wasn't so terrifying. Undoubtedly, Lily was hurt by Kakashi's leaving and the subsequent notice of death, of course, the best friends could have gotten married – though it seemed highly unlikely. Kakashi grimaced.

Even the thought of Lily marrying a good man like Severus – good because he would do anything for Lily, even if his moral compass was a little askew – was uncomfortable and hard to face. What would he do if Lily had married someone he didn't know and hadn't vetted – he really could only accept Severus and possibly James as potential husbands for her. What if she had children?

He stopped in his walk and bowed his head. This jealousy was unhealthy and uncalled for. Twelve years had passed, and if she had held onto the ghost of him for that long, Kakashi wouldn't be able to forgive himself. She thought he was dead, it was right for her to move on. Kakashi was the unstable one, the one unable to let go after all these years. Yes he knew she was still alive, and whenever he had a seduction mission he felt like he was cheating on her, but he should have let go. She thought he was dead, he should think of himself as dead to her too.

He growled in frustration and ran a hand through his unruly hair. He just wanted to think about Lily and him; being together and happy and teasing each other relentlessly.

_Lily was in an academy text-book-perfect fighting stance. She understood the academy katas and had them down pat by now. He almost wanted to teach her another taijutsu style but he couldn't. The academy taijutsu was already risking enough. She asked him the name for the style when he first started teaching it, so he made a lame excuse about it being a nameless Vietnamese fighting style from his village. _

_Kakashi watched as she went through the newest kata, she ended with a precise roundhouse kick after having completed a series of punches. Kakashi smiled genuinely, maybe he could do this teaching thing after all, teach genin that is. It would be a nice break from ANBU. _

_He wondered how having a genin team would go. He could pass on his legacy through one of the brats he took on, but the genin cell would have to be able to demonstrate teamwork. They'd also have to show they could work on their own and that they were self-motivated. He'd teach them different fighting styles, maybe even ninjutsu if they were ready. However, his genin team would have to have potential and the drive to meet that potential. Yeah, he liked the sound of that. It didn't seem so bad, taking on a bunch of brats that is. It would be like a paid vacation until they made chuunin. _

_Lily was looking at him from where she went through her after practice stretches. "What are you thinking about?" she asked with a sly smile. Kakashi chuckled and shook his head as he proceeded to do his own stretches. _

"_Just wondering what it'd be like to teach at a dojo," that was the closet equivalent he could think of without bringing attention back to his supposed life as a child solider – though technically he was a child solider…_

"_What brought that up?" Lily inquired._

"_Hmm…?" Kakashi looked over at her with his eyebrow raised, "Oh, well you've progressed so quickly and Mr. Snape is also picking up his self-defense lessons surprisingly fast. I just wondered how I'd do teaching a whole class," a class that was comprised of three cute, greenhorn genin. _

_Lily nodded her head to his response and cocked her head to the side, "So how is Severus doing? You said you wanted me to spar with him?"_

"_Yes," Kakashi moved to stretch his legs by crouching down and shifting his weight to one side with the opposite leg extended out. Ah that felt good, it stretched the inner part of his thighs. _

"_Mr. Snape is doing very well. He's faster than you but you hit harder than him," Lily looked surprised at this and Kakashi shrugged as he shifted to the other side. "It will also give you good experience facing off against someone who won't be holding back," Lily looked ready to point out the contrary but Kakashi hurried on, "and after a few punches from you he won't be hold back, trust me," Kakashi smirked when Lily blushed at the complement. _

"_It's still weird to think I'll be fighting him," Lily scrunched up her face and Kakashi laughed._

"_Lily, it's a spar,"Kakashi reminded her and Lily flushed while nodding lamely, "Besides, is it weird sparing with me?" Lily looked up at him through her eyelashes and gave a suggestive smile. That said all he needed to know. Kakashi promptly began to cough and look around Lily's flat while his face likely resembled a tomato. She laughed at his expense and got out of her stretch to press a kiss to his lips, it was chaste and like an apology for embarrassing him. _

_Kakashi smiled slightly and quickly stood up followed by Lily. She shifted awkwardly in front of him, and Kakashi could guess why. She had looked hesitant throughout the whole session and had kept glancing over at him with an unsure look. Kakashi shook his head slightly as he moved over to his bag with his change of clothes in it. _

_From it he retrieved a plastic bag with a ribbon tied around it. When he turned around, he noted Lily was fidgeting in anxiety. Kakashi presented the bag to her before speaking, "I didn't forget Lily." _

_She looked up at him in surprise before she began to blush when she noted the plastic bag of white chocolates in his hand. It was from a local chocolaterie and so had the store's logo on the bag in a gold color. Lily accepted the bag of chocolates with a small, nervous smile before she caught something laying on top the chocolates. Kakashi was the one to fidget now as he waited to see how she would react. _

_Typically, on White Day men were to return triple the gift; be it through cookies, white chocolates, jewelry, even lingerie if it was white. Not that he would feel comfortable getting Lily lingerie, he could hardly guess her sizes anyways — though the back of his mind supplied that she was likely a six and a thirty-six C….. He coughed slightly at his thoughts and focused on Lily opening the bag to retrieve the ear-rings inside of it. _

_She gingerly touched the small silver swirls hanging from the ends of the earrings, they reminded him of the Ushiogakure symbol, which he wore on the back of his Konoha flak jacket and was part of the leaf symbol that represented Konoha. _

_Kakashi realized he had stopped breathing and quickly inhaled as he waited for Lily's reaction. She looked up at him and smiled softly. "Thank you 'Kashi," she moved over and gave him a hug before standing up on her tip-toes to kiss him. _

_Kakashi wrapped his arms around her middle and returned the kiss as he tucked his head down. When they pulled apart she smiled up at him, "I hope you didn't forget we'd be treating this like an English Valentine's Day too," she spoke softly, all the while smiling. _

"_I didn't forget," he replied just as softly, he found that he too was smiling. Normally he probably would have felt foolish smiling like this for something so simple. "I'll go change, while you set up whatever you have planned," he murmured and Lily smiled broader. _

"_Good, now shoo!" she shooed him away with the back of her hands before hurrying into the kitchen. Kakashi chuckled and moved to the water closet. He wondered what exactly they were going to eat; he couldn't really smell anything cooking from here. Did she already have it all made up before he came?_

_Kakashi exited the water closet wearing a sweater and jeans, since it was still cold and rainy. In Konoha the trees would have already started sprouting new leaves and seeds. He grumbled to himself as he tugged on the sweater and made his way toward the kitchen. He could smell fish being sautéed, most likely salmon. _

_Lily had changed somehow during the time he was gone, likely through magic, and was currently hovering over a steaming pot, and the sizzling pan of fish. Kakashi deduced that she had the pot heated and covered during their session. _

_She glanced over her shoulder at him and flashed him a smile before she looked back down at a cookbook with an uncertain look. The new ear-rings dangled back and forth with her movements. He liked when she had her hair up; the elegant curvature of her neck always drew his attention. _

"_Need any help?" he asked as he leaned against the table. _

"_Umm… can you tell me if this looks right? I had some eggplant and onion, and there was this recipe for miso soup that said you could add vegetables, but I'm not sure if I…" Lily trailed off and gave him a confused look, "What?" Kakashi for his part was staring at Lily with his mouth wide open. "'Kashi?" she asked slowly, concerned. _

_Kakashi began to laugh and shook his head, "Mah, sorry Lily, I was just surprised. Miso soup with eggplant is one of my favorites." Now it was Lily's turn to look shocked. _

_He chuckled and moved over to stand behind Lily with his hands on her hips as peered over her shoulder and down into the pot. She likely didn't make the stock from scratch, but there were a few good Asian import markets that she could have gotten it from. Mmm, he could smell the sardines, and see bits of kelp floating in the soup. _

"_It looks good," he murmured and couldn't stop himself from pressing a kiss to her temple. She was blushing and quickly focused on the fish in the pan next to the pot. It was salmon, as he suspected, but there was also some cod, or he assumed it was cod. _

"_Good, and I'm really surprised about the soup," she was laughing slightly, still shocked over the coincidence. Kakashi smiled and moved away from the woman cooking. _

"_Anything I can help with?" he asked again and Lily gave him another smile. _

"_Could you make a salad?" she gave a sheepish smile and Kakashi grimaced._

"_I don't know Lily, that sounds really difficult," she tried to glare at him but she was still smiling, Kakashi for his part was grinning too. It felt so good to joke with her, to relax and not be on guard twenty-four-seven. She stuck her tongue at him and Kakashi waved his hand dismissively, "Mah, I was only teasing. Now what should I make it in?"_

_She hummed then gestured to a cabinet where he retrieved a serving bowl. Kakashi then grabbed the cutting board from the end of Lily's cookbooks, and went to the refrigerator to retrieve needed ingredients. They continued their playful teasing and sarcastic comebacks until they set the table and sat down. _

"_Happy White Day," Lily stated with a smile before digging in. _

"_Happy White Day," Kakashi replied before murmuring itadakimasu. It was the first time he was really celebrating this holiday without being coerced, granted they were going about this a little backwards since they hadn't participated on Valentine's Day, but that was beside the point. _

_Their conversation started off with the most recent books they read and if they recommended it to each other. _Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas_ was Kakashi latest read and he did not recommend it even though he found it amusing at times. Lily, on the other hand, had read _In Cold Blood_, which she did recommend to Kakashi. They both were going to read _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest _next and Lily reported what she had heard about the book so far. They'd probably have another date at the library to make sure they did start reading it. Kakashi still relished the fact that their fourth date was at the local library, which was when Lily got him to get a membership. Who else but them would have a date at a library? The Jounin wasn't sure what exactly he would do with himself without his library membership. He could spend a whole day in the library, both of them could but they refrained. _

_They ate in silence for a moment before Lily spoke up, "How are classes going?"_

"_Mah, they're fine, but I'd like to know how teaching's going?" Kakashi replied honestly while also saving himself from having to make up a lie that would likely bite him in the end. Lily ducked her head and smiled a little. _

"_It's fine…" she started while fidgeting. Kakashi knew she was going to break soon. Lily loved talking about her class, but she hated "dominating" conversations. Kakashi frankly didn't care if she supposedly did that. The way Lily light up when she talked about her students and what they had done that day, made it a pleasure listening to her. She was so excited to work with them and her stories were always amusing. _

"_Gah! Okay!" she broke down and gave Kakashi a mock glare while he just smiled, "Toby did the cutest thing today! I swear that kid is just a bundle of energy," Lily shook her head and began to relate the events that transpired during their painting session and story time. Lily was not terribly fond about teaching such young children, but she did enjoy it. Kakashi knew she would love to teach some of the older children at the primary school, but since she was covering for that woman on maternity leave, she had had little choice in classrooms._

_Before long they finished eating and began to clean dishes. Both close to the other and smiling all the while. Kakashi was still uncomfortable about the revelation Severus shoved in his face. Kakashi loved Lily and she loved him too. It was alarming, foreign, yet not uncomfortable. Him being in love with her explained why he couldn't stop smiling around her, why he couldn't imagine hurting her, and why he felt so at ease around her. It took nearly a week to accept the fact he loved her, but like hell he was going to say it until she did. There was always the slight possibility he had read her lips wrong, not to mention he feared that if he admitted loving her, she would die like everyone else he had loved in his life. _

_With dishes dried, and no one soaking wet – somehow Lily refrained from purposely splashing him – they meandered out into Lily's sparse living room. She flipped on her noise machine, record player was its "correct" name but he didn't understand why Lily was so insistent on calling it such. _

_She looked about the room while Kakashi leaned against a wall, she was frowning with her hands on her hips, "I need couch," she lamented before walking over to Kakashi. _

_He groaned when she held out her arms to him. She wanted to dance, "Lily," he whined but still moved forward into her arms. He set his hands on her hips as the slow song continued to play. Kakashi found himself smiling despite that they were swaying to the noise. He would have grimaced at the fact they were dancing, but Lily looked so content. She had her head resting against his chest while they continued to hold each other. _

"_Who is this again?" Kakashi whispered and Lily hummed before responding._

"_Van Morrison, the album is Moondance," Kakashi hummed and the song ended only to be followed by a familiar song. This was the song they danced to at Petunia and Vernon's wedding. Kakashi chuckled to himself and began to dance like they had at the wedding. Lily began to laugh at the change in pace and when he spun her. _

_He supposed dancing wasn't so bad if it made Lily happy, and they were close like this. The noise wasn't too bad either, though he didn't particularly care for other noise. This album seemed to be the exception so far. The song ended, Moondance he believed it was called, and another slow song started up. _

_Lily looked up at him, a small smile on her lips, "You could stay the night if you like," she stated simply, yet Kakashi tensed up. Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Stay the night, not…" she trailed off and made a circular gesture with one hand while her head mimicked it slightly, "It'll give you a chance to sleep in a real bed instead of a couch," she tempted and Kakashi hummed. _

"_I'd love to," Kakashi started; however, he hated to crush Lily's growing hopes, "but I sometimes I have violent nightmares."_

_Lily frowned and pulled away, "Because of the war?" she questioned and Kakashi nodded slowly._

"_Sometimes when I wake up and I think I'm still there – in the middle of the war, that is," Kakashi ducked his head, almost afraid to look at Lily lest she direct pity at him. _

_Lily grabbed his chin and made him look at her, a sad smile played upon her lips, but other than concern she showed him no pity. "'Kashi, thank you for telling me, and maybe…sleeping next to me might keep the nightmares away?" she whispered and moved her lips together in thought as her hand moved to cup his face. "And if you do get nightmares, I want to comfort you, help you," Kakashi closed his eyes slowly and tilted his head down to touch foreheads with Lily. _

"_Thank you," he whispered. Part of him feared he might hurt Lily if he did wake up from a nightmare, but the part of him that never got to be a child…it wanted that comfort Lily was willing to provide. With his eyes closed, he sought out her lips and they stood there kissing chastely with the noise playing on in the background. _

Kakashi bowed his head at the memory with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He did come to enjoy that album, primarily because of those moments he shared with Lily while listening to it. Kakashi looked up and continued his way toward the red telephone box. He may as well go this, rather round-about, way to get to Lily's flat…to what eventually became _their_ flat. They moved him in while listening to the Moondance album, and whenever Lily wanted to dance with him she put it on.

He chuckled, Lily did finally get a couch and it took him and Severus, who grumbled the whole time, to move it. The wizard apparated with the couch to the alley beside Lily's apartment complex, and from there they pretended to have carried it from a rental truck. Severus bitched about it silently the whole way up the five flights of stairs. It would have all been better if he was allowed to shrink it and carry it that way, but Lily didn't know that Kakashi knew they were magical beings. Regardless, Severus got back at Kakashi by finding him in cat form in Diagon Alley and "accidentally" spilling a bucket of water on him. The bastard. Kakashi chuckled to himself and remembered the day he agreed to move in with Lily.

_Four months, they had been dating four months. Lily was done with teaching for the year, and the weather was finally nice, meaning warm out. Kakashi could go for it being a little hotter but he wouldn't complain. _

_Lily got a job as a full time teacher for a class of twenty ten-year-olds. That sounded like one of the levels of hell to Kakashi, but then Lily loved children and especially when they were at that age. She would be working at the same school she had substituted at, and she was already making lesson plans. Needless to say, she was over the moon. _

_They were walking in a park, enjoying the sun's warmth after so many months of grey. Lily was humming, her fingers laced with his while her other hand held on ice cream cone. She tried to get him to eat it, but he really had never been a fan of sweets. _

_Since White Day, Kakashi stayed over at Lily's at least three times a week and so far had not had too violent of a nightmare. Lily would wake up from his movements, usually his legs twitched like he was running and apparently he would mutter in Japanese. She'd ask him if he wanted to talk about it, which he never did, so instead she'd hug him or make a cup of tea. Maybe someday he'd get the nerve up to tell her about his reoccurring nightmare, but as of yet he couldn't. _

_Of course they hadn't done anything yet, no matter how many nights he had stayed over. Kakashi was actually a little afraid of when Lily would start asking him for __**that.**__ He didn't think he could be intimate with her, not after all the times he had slept with women to kill them or get information. Lily was so special to him, she meant so much more than any woman he had been ordered to be with, perhaps because he hadn't been ordered. What they had was genuine, and he was afraid sex would cheapen it, which seemed like counter logical._

"_What's bothering you?" Lily asked and Kakashi just raised an eyebrow, she rolled her eyes and directed an endearing smile towards him, "You're being too quiet, almost broody, and you started to pale…so, spill"_

"_Vernon's going to want me to golf with him now that the weather's getting nicer," Kakashi lied smoothly. Lily's eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion. _

"_Fine, tell me when you're ready," she seemed resigned, not miffed or annoyed, just resigned. Kakashi grimaced and sighed. Why did she have to know him so well? It was clear she knew he was not telling the truth, though he was actually worried about the day he'd have to play golf with Vernon. _

"_Lily, it's nothing bad, trust me," he paused in walking and cupped her cheek. His thumb absentmindedly began to move back and forth against her soft skin. Her eyes fluttered closed and she gave him a sad smile. Kakashi sighed again, "Lily…" his pulse quickened when he realized he almost was about to confess his feelings. "Your ice cream is melting onto your hand," he gave her an eye smile and she shot a mock glare at him while she quickly caught the drips with her tongue. _

_He looked away toward some kids playing football. They kicked the ball back and forth as they shouted to be passed to. Lily brushed against his arm and he turned his attention back to her. She was wearing a sly smile, "'Kashi," she said his nickname before she lewdly licked at the ice cream. Kakashi snatched the treat away from her while knowing he likely as red as a tomato. Lily made a noise of protest when she realized her preferred device of torture was taken from her. _

"_Lily we're in public." She just smiled a devilish smile. _

"_Takashi, give that back," she whined jokingly as she tried to reach the indecent treat that he held high above her head. Lily's smile grew more and more mischievous and Kakashi was almost afraid of what she had in store. _

_Before Kakashi knew it, Lily had climbed onto his back and Kakashi had to catch one of her legs while the other hooked around his waist and her arms wrapped around his shoulders. _

"_You were planning that, weren't you?" Kakashi asked as he handed back the ice cream to Lily, she was snickering in his ear. She had a mischievous streak like Kushina-san, it was slightly terrifying. _

_Kakashi continued walking, Lily flat against his back with both legs held near his waist by his arms. He did his best to ignore the sinewy muscles beneath his calloused fingers and the warmth radiating off of her. This had to be some plot that went past getting a piggy-back ride from him._

"_Of course I was," she stated confidently and kissed behind his ear, Kakashi felt a shiver race up his spine. _

"_Lily," he began and she sighed. _

"_Is this too much,'Kashi?" she asked, genuine concern in her voice. "I want to help you get over these intimacy issues you have." _

_It was the same story whenever things got too…sexual between them. He sighed again and dropped her legs, Lily complied and slipped off his back. He turned around to face her; she was still eating the ice cream, but thankfully in an appropriate manner. _

"_Lily I've told you my experience with sex, I've always been ordered and…" he looked away as he felt his face heat up, "and I'm afraid it will…" he swallowed and tried to think of what he wanted to say. _

"_You're afraid it will cheapen what we have since it's only been a tool in your arsenal?" Lily guessed and hit the nail dead on. Kakashi nodded minutely and felt Lily cup his face. "Was that so hard to say?" she teased before pressing a kiss to his lips. She pulled back slightly before speaking again, "Takashi…I hope it's not too soon to say this, but I love you and I'll wait for you to be ready to take what we have further."_

_Kakashi felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He looked into Lily's eyes and saw her sincerity clear as day. He ducked his head down and kissed her before resting his forehead against hers. "No, it's not too soon to say that," _

"_So my feelings are reciprocated?" she asked, and he could practically feel her anxiety over his answer. Kakashi just hummed an affirmative while nodding his head. He couldn't say it, too afraid of something bad happening to her when he did. _

_Kakashi then pulled back and eye-smiled before taking a taste of the ice cream, which was lazily melting in the heat. Lily looked at him with an eyebrow raised, "So?"_

"_Pretty good," Kakashi conceded, "though I'm not a fan of sweets." Lily shook her head and wrapped her free arm around Kakashi's arm as they continued walking. _

"_Mr. Healthy," she muttered before continuing to consume her ice cream. Kakashi chuckled and they continued on to the end of the park where they began to move toward a café. They were going to meet Severus for a cup of tea, after which Severus would inform Kakashi of any new developments amongst the Death Eaters. This was of course under the guise of them having male bonding time. Lily was just happy her two best friends, her boys, were getting along; though it was clear she wished they would stop intimidating children as their pastime. _

_Before long they met the dour wizard siting at one of the outside tables with a book open. He peered over the top of it before he closed the book to greet Lily with a hug and Kakashi with a nod of the head. _

"_Mr. Hatake," _

"_Mr. Snape,"_

"_Ugh!" Lily groaned and tilted her head back, "Can't you two just call each other by your first names?!" she asked in exasperation while a server came over to them to take their orders. They seated themselves when before giving their orders. Kakashi and Severus also gave each other identical smirks at the "misfortune" their favorite red head was going through. _

"_I don't see why I should call this scarecrow by his first name," Severus eyes flashed with amusement while Lily rolled her eyes at his antics. Kakashi just laughed. It felt good to joke and be so open. He was with two people he ironically felt he could trust and be himself around. _

"_And I will continue to call Mr. Snape, Mr. Snape until he begins calling me by my first name," Kakashi eye-smiled. Lily had been confused at first as to why Severus started calling him Scarecrow on occasion, but decided they were just being silly and should be ignored, especially since Kakashi was fine with being addressed as such. _

"_You two…" she shook her head, "I'm going to get a newspaper," she stated and stood up in search of said object. _

_Once she was out of ear shot, Kakashi leaned forward with a serious expression on his face, "Anything new?"_

"_Lily wants you to move in," Kakashi pulled back and furrowed his brow at the response. He was not expecting that and Severus just glared at him icily, "Hatake, you practically live with her already," he deadpanned as his expression became bored. "Plus, you two confessed at last." Kakashi glared at the mind reader who just looked back at Kakashi with an imperious look, "Please, that's all either of you can think about right now. It's at the surface of your mind," he sneered._

_Kakashi sighed and slumped in his chair, "I hoped to learn something about a certain faction."_

"_And I'm telling you have my consent to move in with her," Severus stated as he slumped back in his chair too. "Lily's wanted to ask you for a month now," the wizard examined his potion stained fingers and dirty nails casually. It was amazing how accepting he was of their relationship, though he did make sure Kakashi would never hurt Lily and since he was in love with her enough to try and pull her out of fire…he passed Severus's test. The man liked to say he could keep her from being a "brash Gryffindor."_

"_Either you have a good handle on your tells, or you're telling the truth," Kakashi sighed and tilted his head back. He ignored the server when he returned with their tea. Severus was smirking at him in his usual superior fashion, Kakashi could feel it._

"_Because I am telling the truth," Severus paused, his face completely neutral, "Also, I'm twelve foot tall, fire-breathing dragon." _

_Kakashi couldn't help the pride he felt swelling in his chest. His protégé had conquered his tells and could lie like a pro! Kakashi clapped his hands lightly together and wiped at a pretend tear, "Beautiful, just beautiful! I'm so proud of you," Kakashi stated in an over the top manner akin to Gai. They both began to laugh amicably, which happened to be the scene Lily returned to. _

"_Okay….?" She asked slowly as she sunk into her seat. The Jounin and wizard let their laughter subside, but they were still smiling. "Sometimes I'm worried it was a grave mistake that you two became friends."_

"_Mah, Lily, why would you say that?" Kakashi wined while Severus put on a serious expression._

"_Yes Lily, why on earth would you ever say that?" Severus feigned an innocent, sincere tone. _

_She looked between the two of them and shook her head. They would tease her relentlessly. _

_It was good to have a friend like Severus, even though their start had been rough. He caught the other man's eye which shone with amusement, then his lips curled back into a wicked smile. Oh no…Severus was going to do something to put Kakashi in an embarrassing situation. He had to act fast, but with what? Maybe he could splash the wizard with his tea – no it was still steaming, that would be a terrible idea._

"_Lily, perhaps you can clear something up for us," Severus started and Kakashi still hadn't quite figured out what he could do to distract them from this path. "You do want Mr. Hatake to move in with you, yes?"_

_Lily looked at him with wide eyes and choked on her tea. "Severus!" her face was bright red and Kakashi grimaced. _

"_You weren't lying?" He asked feebly. Severus just smirked and nodded his head. _

_Lily turned to look at Kakashi, her face was still red from embarrassment and choking, "Um…'Kashi, I would love for you to move in, but only if you wanted to. We can split rent, I mean, how much does your stipend cover? Probably enough" Lily was beginning to ramble on, as she often did when nervous. _

_Kakashi looked down at his tea and exhaled slowly before he looked up at Lily. He wouldn't mind living with her, but it made some of his exercises harder to do, but then he could just go outside now that the weather was good. But if he was here during the next winter, he supposed could barge in on Severus. The wizard did put him into this position by prematurely bringing the issue up, so he deserved having his home invaded. _

"_My stipend would cover it…" Kakashi admitted. Both magical beings knew he was on a stipend from his "native" country's government. Lily believed it was the Japanese government, since it was clear he was still in active duty, while Severus knew it was Konoha. Kakashi supposed it would be nice to get out of the hole in the wall, besides, he did practically live at Lily's anyways. _

"_So…do you want to move in?" Lily asked hesitantly, worried about rejection. _

"_Yes, I will," Kakashi smiled at Lily genuinely. She smiled in return and moved to peck him on the lips. _

_"I could do without seeing that, thank you," Severus quipped. Lily just ignored him and continued to kiss Kakashi. _

Kakashi was pulled from his memories by the conversations around him. He was walking toward the red telephone box, but there were clusters of oddly dressed people talking animatedly around it.

"Have you heard? Harry Potter's going to start at Hogwarts this year!" one woman whispered excitedly. Hmm…James had had a child and it was apparently famous. Good for him, Kakashi supposed.

"Yes, the Boy Who Lived is finally going to be trained, can you imagine all the good he could do?!" another woman squealed. The man in the group scoffed.

"Please, I wouldn't expect much of him. I heard Potter wasn't even his father, some nobody was," the man spat this out like it was something disgusting, "A mudblood mother and likely a muggle father, that's what I'm hearing."

The first woman pursed her lips in contempt, "Then why's he named Harry _Potter_ and not some other bloke's last name, hmm?"

Kakashi was approaching the group by this point in the conversation, and due to his chakra enhanced hearing he had caught their conversation up to now.

"Could be illegitimate," the man stated curtly.

"I don't believe it," the second woman stated, "Why else would You-Know-Who go after them if the Boy Who Lived's father wasn't James Potter?" she shot back, "I heard You-Know-Who was a half-blood, and it makes sense he'd go after another half-blood, not some…what would that even be?! Muggle-born and muggle copulation, ugh!" the woman cried in disgust.

"Where did you hear that about You-Know-Who?" the first woman asked fearfully, the second was about to speak again, but Kakashi was past the point of hearing them and was in range to hear another cluster of people.

"They still haven't found the person who broke into that Gringots's vault, have they?" one man asked.

"No, and it makes me nervous. What if Gringots can't keep our money safe? I mean, if someone can break into a high-security vault, what's protecting our pocketbooks?" another man piped in.

"I don't want to think about it," a woman stated, "I'd rather focus on my Samuel going to Hogwarts!"

"Oh right!" another woman spoke up, "You son's going to be a first year."

"Better make sure he makes friends with Potter," the second man stated.

"I know, I keep telling him to keep an eye out for the Boy Who Lived and try to get in his company," the mother stated in slight despair, "but I'm positive my Samuel will be placed in Slytherin or Ravenclaw and Harry Potter will likely take after his parents."

"Oh, right, they were both in Gryffindor," the second woman stated, "You know, they were a few years above me. That Potter was a natural seeker, like a bird in air! Oh! The heart throb of the school next well…but he's in jail" the woman trailed off feebly.

"Who would have thought he'd be a Death Eater?" the first man grumbled, "I thought he was going to be different from all those Blacks."

"That family just had bad blood…" Kakashi was out of range again, but he was left with quite a bit of new information.

Voldemort no longer seemed to be a threat if someone could talk so slanderously about him, and this Harry Potter had been targeted by Voldemort. Now Harry Potter was revered and titled the Boy Who Lived. Kakashi could deduce that somehow the Potter boy killed Voldemort, but it seemed that his parents were dead – if the past-tense connected to them was any indication, though it could be just James who was dead. Kakashi wrote off what the prejudiced man was saying, about Harry Potter being illegitimate, as a bitter rumor since he was the minority opinion.

As for the second group, he learned about a break in at the supposedly most secure bank in the wizarding world. He also learned that Harry Potter was apparently very influential in this world and was likely to be like his parents…who were both Gryffindors. It made Kakashi wonder who James Potter married, she was a muggle-born from what he gathered – James must have had a thing for them.

At the back of his mind, he wondered if perhaps Lily was James's wife, but he quickly dismissed that thought. Harry Potter had to be going on elven, and Lily was not the type to jump someone's bones. She got his death notice in November of 79, she would have spent who no long in mourning – not that he was trying to boost his ego or anything, he just knew she would mourn since he accompanied her to two funerals and knew she mourned people. For Harry Potter to be her child was highly unlikely. First, she would have had to get over mourning and then taken the time to reconnect with James, which was possible but implausible due to the time constraints for the conception. Though there was the possibility that in mourning Lily made a rash decision, Kakashi winced at that. It wasn't like Lily, but he couldn't dismiss that possibility; mourning did strange things to people and everyone coped differently. Lily wouldn't be the first woman Kakashi knew to turn to sex as a coping method, though Kakashi mostly knew Kunoichi who did that, not civilians.

Though, what was perhaps most curious for him — since he could care less about James's offspring, other than that the boy would be tortured by Severus when he went to school — was the news about Sirius Black being in jail. It had to be Sirius they were talking about, since he was spoken in conjunction with James Potter. What could the man have done to do land in jail? He was a little wild from what Kakashi remembered, brash and boisterous too, but he seemed like a decent guy. He kind of made him think of Jiraiya-sama, but Black wasn't nearly as amazing or admirable.

Kakashi shook his head, what did it matter, he was heading to the flat he shared with Lily. Yes he gained valuable intel about the wizarding world from this walk-by, but he was here to gain closure not resume his mission. Perhaps he could find a forwarding address for Lily, since he highly doubted she was still living there, especially after she was informed he died.

Kakashi shook his head. For now, he'd imagine he was coming home to Lily reading curled up in her chair. He liked that image.

_Kakashi groaned as he climbed the stairs up to Lily's apartment. His feet ached, his back ached, his __**skin**__ ached. He should have brought sunscreen with him like Lily told him. He fitted his copy of the flat's key into the door and slowly opened it. _

_Lily was in her comfy chair reading. She looked over at him when she heard the door open, and was now giving him an almost malicious smile. "Should have taken the sunscreen with you," she sang and Kakashi gave her a mock glare as he dragged his feet over to the couch, which happened to be his former bed. Mmm, bed sounded nice after spending most of the day with Vernon. He was a good guy and all, but whenever they came across Vernon's co-workers he felt like he was being showed off as the "oriental friend." Middle-aged white business men, he shuddered slightly._

_Lily put a bookmark in her book before closing it and standing up from the chair. She moved over to the couch where she proceeded to straddle his waist. He didn't panic like he would have a few months ago, he must be getting better with being so intimate with her. _

"_How did your face not get burned?" She questioned as she poked his nose. _

"_Vernon let me borrow a cap, and he must use SPF five-thousand," Kakashi grumbled the last part to himself, but Lily caught it and laughed. _

"_Oh, my poor baby," she cooed and kissed him on the nose. Kakashi's nose twitched but other than that he had no reaction, Lily just snickered some more. "I'll go get the aloe," she stated mercifully as she got off of him. _

_Kakashi was never going golfing again! Never, ever! It was so boring, and once he got down how the trajectory worked, he was making hole in one after hole in one. Vernon was amazed by his drastic improvement and wondered if he had been faking all the shots where the ball went off the green into the woods or sand traps. Kakashi quickly explained he had been learning trajectories since he could count, which quickly shut Vernon up. He seemed to understand that was an allusion of Kakashi's childhood as a solider. That was the best way to shut Vernon up, just bring up the war and he'd get quiet and uncomfortable. He chuckled to himself. _

"_Do I want to know?" Lily asked slowly. She stood before him with the bottle of aloe in her hand. Perhaps it was from being out in the sun all day and the uncomfortable burning of his skin, but the bottle seemed to glow with a holly light and Lily turned into heavenly messenger that bestowed this healing herb to sunburned people's everywhere. Yeah, he was out in the sun to long, Kakashi groaned as he sat up but decided to answer Lily's question. She was giving him a weird look. _

"_It's so easy to shut Vernon up," Kakashi replied while eye-smiling. Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. _

"_What was he saying?" Lily asked with a sigh as she handed Kakashi the bottle of aloe before moving into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Kakashi began putting copious amounts onto his arms – there went his even complexion. Lily returned with the water and Kakashi gave her a grateful smile._

"_Do you want me to get your neck?" she asked as she sat down. Kakashi shrugged before answering her previous question. _

_He jumped slightly at the cool mixture touching his neck, but after the initial shock it felt good. "Well, he seemed to forget about my unusual childhood, and…well, you can imagine some of the thoughtless remarks he made."_

"_What do you mean?" Lily asked sharply and Kakashi sighed._

"_He brought up some orphans he saw living off the street. As well as made some general comments about poverty, and comments about African immigrants taking jobs," Kakashi rattled off nonchalantly. It was annoying but he could quickly shut Vernon up by pointing out he was an orphan from an impoverished village, and that a lot of people around the world are refugees, like Kakashi was supposedly. _

_Lily paused in rubbing in the aloe and he could practically feel her frustration and anger with Vernon, "Lily, I honestly think he's that way because of who he works and associates with. Don't be so hard on him, okay?" she sighed then draped herself over his back to give him a hug. _

"_If you say so…"_

_Kakashi shook his head, "Lily, have you talked with Marge?" Lily tensed but nodded curtly, "I pretty sure he was raised to be narrow-minded, but look how accepting he's been of me?" Lily hummed and Kakashi continued, "Besides, I ran into some of his coworkers, he is the saint of open-mindedness compared to them."_

_Lily moved to Kakashi side and he noted she was grimacing, "How bad were they? Did they make a lot of racist jokes?" she looked like she didn't want to know, but at the same time did. _

"_Mah, Lily, don't worry about it so much," Kakashi tried to be as dismissive as possible, which seemed to anger his girlfriend. _

"_Takashi," she said his name lowly, as if chastising him, "You shouldn't make light of that."_

_Kakashi fixed Lily with a deadpan look, "Lily, I frankly do not care what they have to say about me. I am comfortable with who I am and my heritage," for the most part, he still couldn't forgive his father for committing suicide or himself for driving his father to it. He now knew where his father came from and regretted having been so hard on him. Abandoning friends made one worse than trash._

"_Besides," Kakashi added, "you'll be glad to know Vernon stood up for me when they made Asian jokes."_

_Lily's mouth dropped open in disbelief, "Really?" Kakashi nodded and Lily gave a laugh of disbelief, "Ah! I have to report this to Tunney!" she squealed and hopped off the couch. Kakashi chuckled to himself and leaned back against backrest, but winced when his neck touched it. Lily could be so excitable at times…but then a thought occurred to him. He groaned._

_He really didn't want to play golf again, but knowing the Evans sisters, he'd have another "play date" with Vernon in a few weeks. Kakashi groaned again and tipped over to the side to hide his face in the couch cushions. He ignored his sunburn; he had worse to deal with. Yep, Lily and Petunia were already setting up another meeting for "their men," according to Lily. Kakashi made a whining noise at the back of his throat. He didn't want to play golf again! And Vernon would probably want him to teach him how to get the trajectory right. _

_The man was good company and all, but golf was so boring!_

* * *

_**A Suivre**_

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**A/N:** For anyone questioning the Regulus thing, here's how I'm validating it (and since Snape won't know about it, I'll tell you). Regulus was found in the cave by Voldemort after telling Kreacher to destroy the locket. Voldemort thought he might have gotten the locket, but since the basin was filled and the replica locket was there, he couldn't be positive. He took Regulus instead of trying to force him to drink the potion again (Regulus threatening to bite his tongue off) and then tried to torture the information out of him. But Regulus was too delirious from the potion for legilimency and was too strong willed to break. So Voldie doesn't know if he was compromised or not and won't trust anyone else to double check. Probably wasn't how it happened in the book, but I honestly don't know. Maybe the inferi did get him?

Hope it was an enjoyable chapter! ~ with love, depressedchildren


	10. Chapter 9: Reminisces and Searching Pt 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** swearing, strongly implied adult themes, fluffiness, OC, denial, heart attack, and parks

**A/N: **So...I have just been really inspired lately, at least with this fanfic. So I'm updating much sooner than I thought I would. The last section might be a little rough, and for that I apologize. Um...according to Word this was just shy of forty-pages, but the next chapter is not going to be that long. It will be one of the shorter chapters, so...yeah. Also, because I know I'm spending a lot of time in the past, some past conversations and events are summarized, so forgive me if it seems like I'm copping out on that. Anyways, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites ~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

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_**Chapitre neuf: Le d**__**é**_ni et la v_**é**_rit_**é**_  


* * *

Kakashi reached their old complex in no time, as to be expected. What he wasn't expecting, when he entered the lobby, was for someone to scream. Muscles tensed, hand reaching for a hidden kunai, Kakashi turned in the direction of the scream. Shit.

"Ha-Hatake?!" it was the building manager and she recognized him. Kakashi nodded stiffly. "B-but, oh my God," The woman leaned heavily against the wall next to her apartment. "You're supposed to be dead."

"I was taken hostage," Kakashi lied smoothly, "My government believed me dead, especially when they received one of my legs in the mail," the woman paled further and Kakashi gave a grim smile. The lies were rolling off his tongue quick enough. "I'm guessing Lily moved? Did she leave a forwarding address?"

The pale woman hurried to move into her office and motioned Kakashi in. Kakashi made his steps more staggered, as if he had a prosthetic leg. He'd seen many retired ninja who had lost limbs in the war move like he as now. The worst was when a ninja lost his hands because that made him completely useless. With a prosthetic leg or legs, a ninja could still use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and projectiles, but without fingers or hands….career completely over.

The woman riffled around in a filing cabinet, every once in a while she looked over her shoulder. "Y-You finally were set free then?" she asked shakily.

Kakashi nodded slowly, "I spent a about a year recovering, but I wasn't able to send letters." The woman nodded and hummed as she continued to fish around. At last she pulled up a folder that had Lily's name on it and his alias.

"He-here," the woman stuttered and showed Kakashi the folder, "Forwarding address is one # 4 Privet Drive in Little Whinging, Surrey,"

"That's her sister's address," Kakashi murmured and the building manager gave a sad smile.

"She was really distraught when she got that letter, couldn't stand to be in the apartment anymore," the building manager whispered. "She moved in with her sister, from what I remember them talking about, poor girl." The woman shook her head and took the folder back. Kakashi continued to stare blankly down at the table where the folder hand been. He swallowed thickly against the knot in his throat.

Damn it! Why was he feeling that way? Was it guilt, regret, self-hate? He took a shaky breath and stood up with some effort. "Could I—" he coughed, his voice was rough, thick with emotions, "Could I see the flat?" he repeated. The woman nodded slowly.

"Of course, it's actually vacant right now," the woman grabbed the keys for the flat and hurried out of the office.

Kakashi closed his eyes as they entered the elevator, he couldn't protest if he supposedly had a prosthetic leg. The stairs would have been too much if he really did have one. "I'm sorry, you know," the woman spoke up, "Sorry for both of you. We all just trusted the letter,"

Kakashi nodded stiffly, "I understand ma'am. I don't blame anyone. I thought I'd have died by now too," Kakashi tipped his head back against the death trap's walls. It was true, and he told Severus countless times that he'd doubt he'd make it to thirty years old. Kakashi bowed his head and tried to will the burning in his eyes away. He knew it would hurt Lily, he knew that, but damn it! Why was he distraught from thinking of Lily in grief? Because it was needless? Because he had been alive the whole time?

Kakashi took shaky breath after shaky breath, knowing full well that the building manager was giving him a sympathetic look. He had to think of something else, he had to think of Lily being happy — that was it, Lily being happy!

_It was the middle of summer, and it was pleasantly warm, though not near as hot as in Konoha. He was made for hotter weather, and at this time of the year, Konoha was usually well above thirty degrees – in the forties if it was really bad. At least the sun was out often enough to make up for the comparatively cool weather, though Kakashi did have to become fast friends with sunscreen. Fortunately, he was never one to hold a tan, so his complexion was almost even now, and he didn't feel quite so embarrassed wearing an A-line sleeveless shirt. Of course, Lily still teased him relentlessly about the "golf tan," as she dubbed his horribly sunburn. _

_Speaking of Lily, she was panting behind him and about ready to drop. They had only run a five K but she was done. Oh well, they made it to the park at least, and there was some nice shade to train under._

_Kakashi slowed down his jog which made Lily sigh in relief. She then fell backwards and laughed tiredly, "Done! Finally!" she panted and used the bottom of her shirt to wipe at the sweat on her face. _

"_Lily, you know it's bad to do that, right?"_

"_Shut up 'Kashi, 'm tired!" she mumbled and dropped her shirt back down. Kakashi shook his head and began to do after-run-stretches. _

"_You do realize we're going to run back to the apartment," Lily groaned and hid her face with her hands. Kakashi chuckled but then stood over Lily with his arm extended out. "Come on Lily, you'll cramp up if you don't stretch. It's bad for the muscles,"_

_Lily gave him a long suffering sigh before she accepted his hand and was pulled back to her feet. _

"_We can do some of your exercises here, okay? Then we we'll only have to stretch when we get back to the apartment," Kakashi offered and Lily gave him a tired smile._

"_Sure but can we relax first?" Lily asked with a hopeful smile. _

"_Hmm…" Kakashi put on his best thinking look before dropped the expression and shook his head, "No. You know the drill," Kakashi knew he was being harsh but they had been getting lax in their self-defense sessions. "We warm up the muscles, go through katas, do a cool down stretch and exercise series. I thought we could start adding more cardio now that the weather's nice. Back home I'd usually try to run at least the very least ten K a day," in actually it was double if not triple that, but Lily was already looking at him her mouth open in shock. He could run half way to Iwa without chakra, and still be ready to go, mostly that was from conditioning during the war, but he could still do it just fine without excessive amounts of adrenaline. _

"_Beast," she grumbled as she finished stretching her legs. "Do I want to know how much you lift if that's your cardio?" Kakashi looked at her with a raised eyebrow. _

"_Lift? Lift weights? Why, that seems like a useless exercise?" Truthfully it did. Shinobi were meant to have lithe muscles, subtle but deadly. Chakra made up for what the physical abilities couldn't do. There were muscle bound juggernauts, sure, but they still were more slender than some of these supposed body builders he'd seen advertisements about. Kakashi shuddered. Gai was hands down the strongest man he knew, but he was not much broader than Kakashi because their career preferred faster over stronger, Minato-sensei being a prime example of the value shinobi placed in speed. _

_Lily stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. "Then how did you get arms like that? Don't tell me it's from push-ups and handstands."_

"_Partially, and I used to use arm and ankle weights to train in," Kakashi replied simply before flipping into a handstand to do a few pushups, except his shirt fell and obscured his sight. He shifted his weight to one hand and pulled his arm out of the sleeve hole and then shifted to the other side and pulled the rest of his shirt off. "I can see again!" he called cheerfully with an eye-smile while Lily rolled her eyes. _

_Arm and ankle weights worked on speed as well as strength, which was why most shinobi used them over static weight lifting. Gai was already up to an insane amount of weight on each leg and arm. Kakashi was almost afraid to think how fast he was without those weights. _

"_You are ridiculous," Lily shook her head in an endearing fashion as she finished up the last of her stretches._

"_Mah, you should meet Gai, he can do double the physical work that I do. We called him the Green Beast back in training," Kakashi explained offhandedly. He actually would hate for Lily to meet Gai, he might scar her with his sunset-beach genjutsu and his exclamations of Youth. He shuddered slightly, that was one thing Kakashi was not looking forward to returning to, that and the all the challenges. _

"_What?" Lily asked amused, she must have caught him shuddering. It was risky mentioning Gai, but since he had already talked about Jiraiya-sama, and Minato-sensei in front of Lily, he figured this couldn't hurt anything. _

"_He's eccentric to the nth degree," Kakashi replied while walking around on his hands, it worked different muscles than most other arm workouts, and it activated his core because he had to maintain an "upright" posture. _

_As Kakashi was walking around on his hands, he noted a large black dog looking at them from some shrubs surrounding a tree a good ten meters away. He would have passed the mastiff-sized-dog off as trying to keep cool and thus lying beneath the bushes in the shade of a tree; however, the dog's eyes shone with intelligence, much the way Pakkun's eyes shone. He also couldn't write the dog off because it had been following them for the last half kilometer of their run. He thought maybe it was a stray, and since they were running they caught its attention and maybe it wanted to play, but again…that intelligence. It was like the dog recognized them!_

"_Oh, eccentric…" Lily drawled and looked at Kakashi like she was hoping for more information. _

_Kakashi sighed and shook his head, "You really want to know?" he asked slowly. Lily nodded, an amused smile playing on her lips, "You're going to regret it, you know," Kakashi teased before flipping back onto his feet and beginning to stretch his arms. "Gai likes wearing green spandex, and __**only**__ green spandex," Lily's eyes widened at the description and she paled slightly._

"_I see why you called him the Green Beast, then," Lily sounded a little faint, perhaps at the unadulterated horror of a man wearing bright, skin-tight clothes. Of course, Gai was a ninja and thus had a great physique, but it was best to leave a little to the imagination, rather than nothing. _

"_Oh that's not the half of it," Lily paled further, Kakashi continued on with a smirk "He goes on literal rants about the power of youth, and uses a whole hell of a lot of flowery imagery," Lily shuddered, "And to top it off, he has titled himself my Eternal Rival." Lily looked confused, but Kakashi quickly explained what he meant. "He heard I was a prodigy from the Generals and wanted to see how well he matched up to me. Since the day we met, he's challenged me in everything from arm-wrestling to who can stay quiet the longest."_

"_Oh my god," Lily laughed as she shook her head in disbelief, "that sounds mortifying but hilarious."_

"_Mah, Lily don't laugh, it's very serious," Lily just laughed harder and Kakashi chuckled as well. _

"_I'm sorry 'Kashi, that's just…" she hopped to her feet grabbed either side of his face, "Oh, you poor baby," she teased and gave him a peck on the lips. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and gave a weak laugh. _

_Lily then turned and grabbed Kakashi's shirt, "Now put this back on so we can start," Kakashi accepted the garment but looked a Lily with a quirked eyebrow. _

"_I've sparred without my shirt before," Kakashi stated slowly, Lily looked away sharply. She was blushing and had her arms over her chest. _

"_I know," she replied slowly, astutely looking away from him. _

_Kakashi furrowed his brow in confusion when he noted there were a few bystanders looking at him intently. Female bystanders, that is. Kakashi couldn't hold back his laughter as he put back on his shirt. Lily turned to look at him sharply, her face still flushed slightly. _

"_What?!" she snapped, embarrassment clear. _

"_Aww, was Lily-chan jealous that those women were staring?" Kakashi asked in his most sickeningly sweet voice. She blushed brighter._

"_Sh-shut up 'Kashi" she stuttered and gave him a half-hearted glare, "and what does chan mean?"_

_Kakashi sobered and shrugged, Lily raised both of her eyebrows and gave him an expectant look. "Chan is an honorific used for girls, and children you know well. Unless you're familiar with someone or trying to be vulgar, you use an honorific," Kakashi explained quickly but Lily was now frowning._

"_So…let me get this straight. Grown men will call their girlfriends or wives by this chan honorific? Even though they're women, not girls?" Lily looked annoyed and Kakashi quickly deduced why. _

"_Mah! Lily, it's not like that!" Kakashi rushed out while waving his hands back in froth, and wincing at her incredulous look, "I don't usually call women chan because I've never been close enough to any to feel comfortable using that honorific, even teasingly. It's an endearing honorific, not necessarily derogatory," that placated her slightly, "Besides, married people don't necessarily address each other with honorifics, maybe koi or just adding husband or wife to the end of the name…" _

_Kakashi scratched his cheek in thought. He wasn't sure what married people called each other, not really. His mother died before he had his first breath and his father never remarried. Minato-sensei just called Kushina-san chan or koi he supposed, and she often used the same exact honorifics given to her. He laughed a little at the memory. _

"_What?" Lily asked with a gentle smile on her face again, her former anger placated by his explanation. _

"_Oh, Minato-sensei got married to this very interesting woman who would call him Minato-chan or Minato-koi just as often as she called him Minato-baka or Minato-kun," Kakashi chuckled a little more while Lily looked at him confused._

"_Wait…what are baka, kun, and koi? Also, why would she call him chan?"_

"_Start your first kata and I'll explain," Kakashi stated, remembering they were going to go through their usual training exercises. Either Lily was genuinely interested, or she wanted to get out of training by distracting him with these questions; knowing her, it was both. Lily groaned and moved a little bit away from Kakashi. She got into the academy stance and started with the two punches and kick combination. _

"_Baka means idiot, kun you use for guys if they're familiar to you and not much older than you, though you can use it for girls too, but it's not that common. Um… koi means love, though Kushina-san only used that when she was really pissed off with Minato-sensei," Kakashi chuckled at the memory of a pregnant Kushina stalking toward her cowering husband. _

"_What?!" Lily asked as she looked over at him after finishing her last set of the sequence. She would be moving into a sequence starting with an uppercut, followed by a roundhouse kick, and ending with a crouched sweeping kick._

"_Yeah, Kushina-san was very interesting. She had a very short fuse and a mischievous streak that could span a continent," Kakashi chuckled again along with Lily. "She was terrifying in a big sister sort of way," Kakashi mumbled, and Lily paused in her sequence. _

"'_Kashi?" he gave her an eye-smile which just made her cross her arms over her chest and give him a hard look. "I thought we went through this," she stated in exasperation, "'Kashi, let me support you," she approached him and put her hands on his arms. "I know you miss them. They died in the war too, right?" Kakashi nodded slowly and Lily gave him a small sad smile. _

"_It might be painful, but maybe talking about those you lost will make it easier to cope with their loss?" She cupped his cheek again and Kakashi closed his eyes. "Every time I got to talk about…about my mother with you helped me…" Kakashi sighed and ducked his head down to press his forehead against hers. _

"_I know Lily, but I've kept it all bottled for so long…" Kakashi swallowed thickly, "Maybe another time." She was frowning, clearly disappointed but Kakashi ducked his head down to whisper into her ear, "I have a lot of bottled up, painful emotions, and unloading them in a public park is not something I want to do. I promise Lily," Kakashi paused for a moment, "Later I'll tell you, okay?"_

_She nodded slowly as he stepped backwards. "Do you want to spar then?" Lily knew him so well; training was his favorite coping method. Kakashi eye-smiled and nodded his head, this time, though, his eye-smile as not a defense mechanism and Lily seemed to catch onto that. She laughed a little and pulled on his arms until they were further away from the path and in an open space. _

_Kakashi backed up a few spaces and got into a ready stance. Lily backed up a ways and shifted her weight onto her toes. The Jounin couldn't help but grin, sparring with Severus really had helped Lily improve in her speed and she had modified the academy taijutsu to accommodate her newfound speed. _

_Kakashi parried her first punch, blocked the second, and grappled her leg when she kicked. She hopped for a moment before punching him in the face…well she tried to punch him in the face. Kakashi ducked out of the way and let go of Lily's foot in the process. She rushed him and tired another kick before dropping down to sweep out his feet. He flipped over the kick easily. Her form was perfect. Kakashi couldn't help but feel pride at her progress. Maybe he would be a good teacher._

_Lily remained in her crouch, grinning like a feral cat. "Why do you always have to dodge?!" Lily complained, while strategizing her next move._

"_Because you'll give me bruises!" Kakashi jokingly whined in return. She rushed him again. He parried each attack, much to her frustration, and then he blocked her last punch. He shifted his arm to grip her arm as he spun to the side to end behind her with her arm bent awkwardly behind her. _

_She kicked out at him, and unless he wanted to dislocate her arm or break it, he had to let go and jump backwards. "You know, a real opponent would have broken your arm and then pushed you do the ground."_

_Lily sighed in frustration as she rubbed at her shoulder. "Yeah, I realized that," she winced slightly at rolled her shoulder back. Kakashi frowned, he knew he didn't put that much pressure on the shoulder, but now he was concerned. Perhaps he didn't watch his own strength and actually hurt her! _

"_Lily let me see," he started to reach out when he noticed Lily's wince turn into a mischievous grin. By then it was too late to dodge, unless he wanted to reveal he was a ninja. Lily flipped him over her body and quickly straddled him while pinning his arms to either side. _

"_What was that tale called? Oh I remember, the boy who cried wolf, right?" Kakashi asked while Lily just stuck her tongue out at him._

"_You'd know if you hurt me," she drawled while rolling her eyes, "I beat you measure every bit of force you use to make sure I don't get so much as a bruise," Lily practically sang before kissing Kakashi on the nose. "It's your fault for being a worrywart," she teased before releasing his arms to kiss him more fully on the lips. _

_Kakashi chuckled but returned the kiss. It was the classic maneuver she used, and with kunoichi it had deadly results. He was surprisingly proud of her. Lily knew she couldn't land a hit on him so she manipulated the playing field, so to speak, so that she could. She was brilliant. _

_When she pulled back, Lily wore a thoughtful look. She rested her hands against his chest, "'Kashi, you never explained why Kushina called her husband chan?"_

_Kakashi chuckled and sat up, which cause Lily to fall into his lap, not that she seemed to care. She just wrapped her arms around his neck. He set his hands on her hips. _

"_Well…" Kakashi started with a sheepish grin, "It was partly to be insulting and partly to be an endearment. They knew each other since they were eight, though even that is not quite appropriate," Kakashi frowned in thought, how could he explain it. "Young children call other children chan to be cute and sometimes it sticks. So…you could call Mr. Snape chan if you wanted to because you were such close childhood friends. _

"_Though, when I think about it, Kushina-san was probably just being teasing because she had hated Minato-sensei until they were in their teens, and she loved teasing him," Lily laughed with him and they sat there for a while in companionable silence until Kakashi heard a growl. _

_He had kept an eye on the dog all throughout the spar and prior. The dog seemed to understand human speech better than any animal should unless it was a summons. He was half tempted to use a genjutsu release, but Kakashi saw no telltale shimmer of the henge no jutsu. Maybe it was a stray summons, it was certainly big enough and vicious enough to be one. _

_Lily was tense in his arms and recognition flashed across her face as she looked at the big dog. _

"_Mah, Lily, nothing to be afraid of!" he eye-smiled and Lily looked at him before turning back to the dog. _

"_It might be a stray," she lied; he could hear it in her voice. She recognized this dog and she was more annoyed and angry with it than scared. The dog was also snarling at Kakashi, and Kakashi alone. Lily stood up slowly and Kakashi followed her. _

"_Mah," Kakashi waved his hand dismissively. "His coat's too nice to be a stray," he approached the snarling dog slowly, much to Lily's dismay. _

"_Takashi! Get away from it." _

_Kakashi just gave her an eye-smile over his shoulder. "I had six dogs back in Japan, all trained to kill. I know how to handle dogs, especially mastiff sized ones," Lily looked uncertain and it only affirmed Kakashi's belief that this dog was not what it seemed. _

_The dog had growled deep in its throat when he said he could handle dogs, hmm… curious. Before the dog could react, Kakashi was holding it by the scruff of its neck, and it gave a startled yelp. He even started to pull the dog off the ground when it tried to snap at him. He looked the dog dead in the eye, those intelligent eyes, "I know you're smart dog, I bet you could talk if you had the right parts," he replied evenly. The dog looked afraid for a moment. _

"_So…either you snap at me again and we haul you to animal control, or you can get a nice scalp massage and go on your merry way?" Kakashi gave the dog another eye-smile before he felt it lower its hackles and sit plaintively before Kakashi. Kakashi grinned and began the promised scalp massage. Pakkun always said he gave the best ear scratches. The dog's eyes practically rolled backwards while its tail began to wag. _

_Lily burst into laughter and fell to the ground behind him. The dog growled at the laughter but whined when Kakashi stopped scratching behind the ear. Lily just laughed louder, and Kakashi decided to ignore her. _

"_Oh ignore her," Kakashi addressed the dog as he continued the scalp massage. "Smart dogs like you and Pakkun can ignore silly humans who laugh for no apparent reason," _

_Lily promptly tried to sober up, "S-sorry," she gasped for air as she tried to fight down her laughter, "It's just that…" she faltered and tried again, her face neutral now, "It looked like a Grim, you know, a dog of death," she supplied and Kakashi hummed. She was telling the truth but not all of the truth. _

"_So who was Pakkun?" Lily asked after a while. The dog had its eyes closed as it leaned into the ear scratching. _

"_Oh, my pug, he was the first dog I ever had, and I swear," Kakashi paused for emphasis while he looked over at Lily, "He could talk, he's that smart" Lily smiled at him. _

"_Is that so?" she mused, before sobering. "Do you miss them, your six dogs?" Kakashi smiled sadly and nodded._

"_Yeah, though I admit I don't miss waking up with a mastiff jumping on me or all the drool." He really did not miss the drool, or wrestling them together for a bath. They might be summons, but they didn't have a Mt Myoboku to go to, they had his apartment. _

_Lily was chuckling, "I'd imagine you wouldn't miss that," she paused, "What did you mean they were trained to kill?" she had her brow furrowed and Kakashi sighed. He stopped rubbing the Grim, according to Lily, but the dog continued to sit in front of them. In fact, the dog seemed to be sizing Kakashi up, appraising the Jounin. _

"_They're military dogs, still used on missions from time to time. Pakkun's my favorite of course," Kakashi eye-smiled again and Lily shook her head. _

"_I guess it makes sense that you'd be a dog person," she mumbled, "You know," Lily started with a small smile, "we used to have a dog, Daisy was her name." Lily smile fell as she continued, "But she tried jumping over the backyard fence and her collar got caught," Lily sighed and looked down sadly._

_Kakashi grimaced sympathetically while the Grim whined. Lily shook her head and smiled coyly. She bumped shoulders with him and began to speak as nonchalantly as possible, "You miss having a dog, I miss having a dog…" she trailed off and bumped into his shoulder again. _

"_Are you suggesting we get a dog?" Kakashi asked smiling slightly at Lily's "subtlety."_

"_That or you can see if Pakkun could be shipped over here," that could be possible, but Kakashi used to him as a messenger between here and Konoha. She'd wonder where he went, and there as always the risk that Pakkun might slip up and speak. Not to mention, Pakkun was supposed to stay in the Elemental Lands just in case his mission had to end prematurely. Sure he could have another summon do that, but Pakkun really was the best choice._

"_He's military property."_

"_Aww, that's too bad," she took all of one second to get over her disappointment before clasping her hands together and grinning ear to ear, "So…can we get a dog? My apartment allows pets, so long as the pet's small and we can clean up after it." _

_Lily's hopeful look was too much, Kakashi fell back to lie on the ground and laughed loudly. He nodded his head, unable to speak. Lily jumped up and did a fist pump before moving to straddle him again. "We are going to look for a dog tomorrow, it's decided!" Kakashi just laughed louder. The Grim even looked like it was laughing. _

Kakashi still wasn't sure what exactly was up with that dog, but now Kakashi felt better in control of his emotions after remembering that encounter. Maybe it was a summon or an actual Grim, Kakashi wasn't sure.

The building manager opened the door to the flat for him, "I'll just be back down in the office, Mr. Hatake, take your time." Kakashi nodded absentmindedly and entered the flat.

It was empty but he could see it like it was yesterday, fully furnished with Lily's things and that couch he bought with part of his stipend. Their dog, Crow, had one of her sleeping pillows over in that corner near the record player. Crow was a sweet little thing, not useful in shinobi society, but here she made a good pet. She was a Welsh terrier they found at the animal shelter. Lily told him about a larger version of Crow called an Airedale, which apparently was used for hunting bears and lions. Now that dog would be useful in the Elemental Lands.

Crow as still a puppy when they got her; she had brown fur around her mouth, paws, and eyes while the rest of her was black. That was why they named her Crow, well, besides the fact that Kakashi vetoed all feminine names. He had always had warrior dogs, and so he refused to have some flowery-named dog. Kakashi smiled softly.

Crow loved sleeping on them when either of them were reading. Kakashi usually read sprawled out on the crouch while Lily read curled up on her chair. It was nice having the little dog in the house. It gave them something to play with when bored, and she also gave them an excuse to go walking more. He wondered what Lily did with her. If she couldn't stand to stay here, what happened to Crow? Was she sent back to the animal shelter, did she move with Lily?

The one picture he took with him when he left was of Lily holding puppy Crow up to the camera. Kakashi closed his eyes and put a hand against the wall. Gods, what happened to Lily? He knew better than to hope she was still here, he knew better than to hope that she took the death notice well. But damn!

He looked to their bedroom but had to turn away quickly, overwhelmed. No, he didn't want to think about that, but his mind was already going there.

_Lily came into the room braiding her hair. She always wore a t-shirt and pajama shorts to bed. Kakashi smiled up at her from his book. Crow was sleeping on his stomach, like usual. _

"'_Kashi, you need to stop letting her into the bed," Lily scooped the small dog up and set her on the pillow they set up for her in their room. They left the doors open so she could wander about and get water during the night. Kakashi had her trained well; she knew not to get on the furniture unless one of them was there. She was also house-trained within the first of getting her. _

"_But Lily," Kakashi whined, "she likes sleeping up here." _

_Lily rolled her eyes, "Only because you let her." Crow looked up at them from her corner before she left the room. Kakashi chuckled along with Lily who got under the covers. Kakashi put his book away and turned to look at Lily who was staring at him. _

_She was sitting against the headboard a soft smile adorning her features. One hand found its way to Kakashi's hair. He closed his eyes at the feel of her soft fingers running through his hair and pressing against his scalp. They'd been together seven months, officially living together almost four months. It felt like years, but in a good way. They knew each other, they had a routine…_

_Summer was coming to an end, but they still had a few more weeks until Lily had to go off and teach ten-year-olds. She had the whole semester planned out already but she still ran over her teaching notes. It was adorable how she'd lose herself in her plans and then mutter what ifs and begin planning for them. She was so dedicated. _

_Kakashi opened his eyes when he felt Lily shift to kiss him. They were laying on their sides now. He brought his hand up to her arm while her hand moved to cup his jaw. In the last few months he had opened up and talked about Minato-sensei, Kushina-san, Rin, and Obito. He talked about what they were like, what they liked to do. He also told her modified versions of how they died in the war. Kushina and Minato died to protect the village, Rin died when they were escaping the cave-in that killed Obito. _

_He didn't say it all at once, but bit by bit. One day he'd talk about Minato-sensei, the next he'd mention something about Obito. It was usually while they were lounging around or walking around the city with Crow – but only if it was a lighter story. He passed these talks off as casual conversations, but he was only able to do so because he had Lily beside him to support him like she always said she would. Her hand would squeeze his own when it was too difficult to speak further about them, and if they were at home she would lay down beside him, usually on the couch. He hadn't talked about his father since that lunch he made for her when they were still getting to know each other. Kakashi still felt too guilty and betrayed to talk about him, but maybe soon he could. _

_And maybe soon he would confess to a better representation of his job in the military. She knew he had killed someone before, but he could confess to espionage along with assassinations. She deserved to know because…because he loved her. _

_He loved Lily, he could admit it to himself but he was still unable to say it out loud to her. She knew he loved her, and she didn't push him to say it – likely because she understood all the people he loved had died. She was so understanding and patient, no other words described her quite as well. How was it that he, of all people, got to be with her? Kakashi had never counted himself lucky; even when others said he was lucky to be alive, he said he was cursed. Yet here he was with Lily. Only here he could count himself lucky to have met so understanding and patient a person._

_He knew she wanted to have sex, he found the condoms a month ago, but she hadn't brought it up, not once. Even when they made out and things became too much for Kakashi, so that he had to hastily retract himself from her. She never pushed him to consummate their relationship. How could he be with her, this wonderfully understanding woman? _

_Kakashi deepened the kiss, surprising Lily since she usually had to initiate that. She was pleased with the surprise though, if the noise she made was any indication. His hand slid down to her hip, he felt her shudder beneath his fingertips. _

_He loved her, and he was sick of his past hindering him from enjoying the present. Yes, he would always mourn and hate himself for what he did to Rin and Obito, but he couldn't let it stop him from experiencing life. Just like he couldn't let the past women he slept with keep him from being with Lily, being one with her. _

_He'd like to forget they ever happened, but he knew that was impossible. However, what he could do, he supposed, was experience genuine intercourse to replace all the times he had been ordered. What he had with Lily was real. He had told her things he never told anyone before and likely would never tell again. She was understanding, patient, and all around just too good for him. _

_Kakashi's thumb began to rub circles against her hipbone, idly drawing the symbol of Konoha, while he began to kiss her neck. Lily gasped and tilted her head to give him more access. Her hand moved from his jaw into his hair. He wouldn't let the past inhibit him, he wouldn't. He loved Lily, and against her neck he mumbled just that but in Japanese. _

_His hand was shaking even as he let if move of its own accord. Gentle, seeking, trembling in nervousness. _

"_Ka-Kashi," Lily gasped, she had stuttered over his nickname as air caught in her throat, and so restarted the abbreviation. But that sealed it for Kakashi. He could pretend she said his real name, that there were no aliases to hide behind. She was his witch and he was her shinobi, her Kakashi – not 'Kashi or Takashi, but Kakashi. _

_Later, with Lily curled up against his chest; she asked him what he knew she was wondering the whole time, "What changed?" her voice was still a little breathy. _

"_You've been so patient with me, so understanding…not many women would have done as you have."_

"_You know, that's usually what the girl says," Lily joked and Kakashi gave a short laugh in return. _

"_Not the women I know, they'd have sooner chained me to the bed after slipping me a-well, I guess you know what I'm saying," Kakashi gave a week laugh and Lily looked at him concerned. "I just…I can't let the past inhibit me anymore. What we have is…is real," Kakashi looked away, thoroughly embarrassed to be talking about this, "and I'm hoping that will win out over all the times I've been ordered, does that make sense?"_

_Lily smiled slightly and kissed his jaw, "Yeah, 'Kashi, it does."_

_Kakashi turned back to look at Lily and smiled with her. They lay there in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Lily spoke again, "What kind of women do you know?!" she asked slightly appalled._

_Kakashi chuckled, "Let's just say eccentric and deadly, and leave it at that," he gave her an eye-smile which only earned him an eye roll and a shake of the head. "I'm serious, they're deadly, and do you know how many would kill to see under my mask like you have?"_

_Lily just raised an eyebrow before smiling and hugging him closer, "I guess I did get under your mask, hmm?" _

_Kakashi returned the hug, chuckling slightly, "Well, yes you have, but I was referring to a literal mask." Lily leaned up on her arm to look down at him incredulously. Kakashi gave a sheepish smile, "I never told you I usually wear a mask?"_

_Lily blinked a few times, before shaking her head, "No, but now that I think about it, the weird way you'd wear your scarves makes sense now."_

_Kakashi laughed with Lily who settled back down. "Do you want to tell me why you usually wear masks?"_

_Kakashi dipped his head down and kissed the top of Lily's head, "Not tonight, how about tomorrow? I promise, tomorrow. I'm emotionally drained enough as is." Lily nodded before tilting her head back to kiss him on the lips. _

"_Okay, tomorrow."_

He had to get out of here. Kakashi spun around and hurried to the door and closed it behind as quickly yet quietly as he could. He then flew down the hall to the stairs, screw his back story, he needed to get out of here. Once in the stairwell, he noted no one was in it, so he dropped down the middle of it, and caught himself on the main floor's railing before he pulled himself over handrail. He then hurried out of the stairwell and through the lobby. The building manager was in her office with the door open, she waved goodbye to him and he just nodded. He needed to get out of here.

Gods, he loved Lily so much and he had hurt her, hurt her badly when the death notice came. She was so patient and good to him, but he had to turn around and hurt like this. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it wasn't. He closed his eyes tightly as he made his way down the street in the general direction of Surrey. He'd probably make it there by late afternoon. This time he wouldn't get caught, he couldn't. Kakashi used a mild genjutsu to divert people's attention from him as he hurried through the streets toward Little Whinging.

He forced himself to _not_ think about Lily and Crow. He pushed all the memories of Lily talking about her class to the back of his mind, and all the times they took Crow on walks in the park. He locked away all memories of him and Lily making love, and all the times they danced in their apartment with Crow underfoot. He refused to recall all the meetings he had with Severus about what he learned from the Death Eaters and the times they just sat to talk about simple things. The times he played chess with his best friends and the books the three of them would read and later discuss. He made himself forget the first movie he watched or the fact that he made out with Lily under the stars afterwards.

He was a selfish bastard, it would be better that he really was dead. And so many times he had been so close, but … but he never got to, not even in the last war. Not even when he faced down with Obito alongside Naruto and Gai. The betrayal he felt when Kakashi realized Obito had never been dead, oh Gods… he did just that to Lily! Sure he didn't turn around on all he stood for and nearly destroy the world, but left her thinking he was dead.

He didn't know how long he had been running, moving in a blur between trees and buildings, scaling walls and hopping from one rooftop to the next like it was some strange concrete forest. He pushed everything back to the place he had originally kept the memories so they wouldn't distract him on his missions. He shoved the memory of their conversation about his father and what jobs Kakashi did for the "Japanese Government," all the way back into that dark corner of his mind he kept tightly locked. He pushed himself to run faster and faster, as if he literally outrun the memories.

Kakashi came to stop at last, panting heavily and stubbornly refusing to believe that anything but sweat was dripping from his face. He bent over his knees as he tried to breathe against the knot in his throat, and looked around through his blurred vision. Magnolia Crescent, that was near Petunia and Vernon's house. He wiped at the sweat, because he refused to believe it was anything else, and got his breathing under control. Lily was likely over him now; she was probably happily married with kids and still teaching at that school.

That had to be it. Nodding his head, Kakashi looked around before using henge to appear like a squirrel. He skittered about until he reached # 4 Privet Drive and then dove into the fenced backyard. Of course this was a mistake. Kakashi jumped onto the property fence when a dog barked at him. He looked over and nearly fell off the fence.

Crow! She was wagging her tail like a puppy, though it was clear she was on her last legs. She barked at him almost happily, though Kakashi believed that it was because he looked like a squirrel and she wanted to "play" with him like she "played" with the pigeons in the park. Lily always scolded him for letting her get her teeth on them, now he regretted being so indulgent with her as a puppy. If he was touched by her the illusion would be broken.

Kakashi looked at the rest of the yard. Two children were playing some game, but they were pulled from whatever they were doing by Crow's barking.

"What's gotten into Crow?" a rather corpulent blonde boy asked the girl beside him, who happened to look like she was seven or so years old.

"I dunno?" the younger one responded, "I'll go get Mum!" the girl then raced back toward the house. Kakashi's henge appeared to scamper across the fence and then climb up the tree in the backyard. Really Kakashi just balanced his way across the fence and then wall-walked up to a branch. Crow followed behind him, wagging her tail happily. For an old dog she was certainly energetic.

"Heather!" that sounded like Petunia Evans…well she was Dursley but he first knew her as Evans. "You know I'm cooking for you brother and cousin's going away dinner."

"But Crow's acting up!" the little girl protested despite her mother's clear annoyance.

Cousin? Lily's child or Marge's child? Somehow he doubted the cousin in question was Marge's child. Why was Lily's child here, was Lily going to be here too?

Anxiety clenched Kakashi's chest. He'd see Lily…he'd get to see her at last. He would finally get to know if she was happy, if whoever she married was treating her right. He was both appalled yet thrilled to know which case it was. To see her after all these years…it would be painful but good at the same time. He would finally have closure. And if she was happy, then perhaps he could forgive himself for not forcing the Hokage to let her come to Konoha.

Petunia stepped outside with her daughter beside her. Fortunately the girl was more Evans than Dursley; her face was a little long but not quite as long as her mother's. She also happened to have a rather long neck, but at least the rest of her was pleasant and proportional. She had curly, reddish-blonde hair, and blue-green, almond-shaped eyes. Her bone-structure was that of an Evans, unlike her brother who was quite clearly a Dursley. The poor boy was large, not Akimichi large but large enough that he was likely being made fun of at school. He also had a pink pigmentation that Vernon sported, though fortunately his neck was proportional.

"Now what's gotten into Crow?" Petunia muttered to herself as she wiped her hands off on the apron she was wearing. She had a one or two wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but otherwise looked the same.

"She was barking at the squirrel," the boy spoke up, pointing straight at Kakashi.

"She was, was she?" Petunia was frowning, "She hasn't chased a squirrel in seven years," the woman shook her head, "Crow, come here!" she called and patted her legs.

The terrier turned from Kakashi and looked toward Petunia before looking back up at Kakashi and wagging her tail. She sat down and looked up at him patiently. What the hell?! She was hardly even one when he left; she couldn't recognize his scent, could she? Maybe she smelled his ninkin? That had to be it.

"Dudley," Petunia called the boy, "Would run in and get the dog biscuits for Mummy?" the boy flushed slightly at the cooing but hurried inside.

"Mummy?" the girl, Heather, tugged on Petunia's dress, "I get to help ice the cake, right?" Petunia nodded and patted the girl on the head.

"Of course, Sweetums," Petunia kissed the girl on the forehead, "Why don't you go inside and wash your hands, hmm? Then you and Dudley can set the table, alright?" the girl nodded her head and hurried inside.

Dudley returned at that moment with a box of dog treats which he handed to his mother. Petunia was still eyeing Crow with pursed lips. She turned her attention back to her son. "Thank you Duddykins," she cooed as she ruffled the boy's hair, why don't wash your hands and help Heather with setting the table, you know how clumsy she is," Petunia shook her head in an endearing way before turning back to Crow and shaking the box of dog treats. Dudley hurried off to help his sister.

Crow's attention turned to Petunia at the rattling of the treats. She then scampered over to the blonde woman. "Sit," she called and the dog sat, "Jump" the dog jumped and then stood up on her hind legs. "Very good, Crow, very good!" Petunia exclaimed as she gave the dog a treat, "Now come with me, that's a good girl," Petunia encouraged the dog with the treats in her hand; Crow happily followed wagging her tail.

Once the dog was inside, Kakashi felt it safe to reposition himself near the kitchen window. The ledge was wide and sturdy enough that he could crouch on it while his henge appeared to just be sitting there grooming itself, the way squirrels did, as he watched the family inside.

The siblings were joking together as they set the table and Petunia was smiling happily as she oversaw what they were doing.

Kakashi found himself smiling. He always knew Petunia would be a good mother. She was almost obsessively concerned about her unborn child when he left. He could still remember the eventful night Petunia told them…

_It was Lily's first week of school and to celebrate having her own class to teach, Petunia invited them to dinner. Lily brought a bottle of some wine he didn't care to remember since he wouldn't be partaking in it, and he brought along some cheese because Lily told him they had to bring something. _

_Vernon opened the door smiling broadly, but his smile quickly fell. Lily and Kakashi's greeting faltered at the change in the man's expression. Kakashi and Lily began to fidget in the doorway as Vernon eyed them, seeming to judge the distance between them. "You two were safe right?" he asked with a frown._

_It took a moment for the man's words to register, and Kakashi still had not fully registered what the man had said until Lily began to splutter indignantly. _

"_V-Vernon!"_

"_Vernon, was that Lily?" Petunia called from within the house. _

"_Yes," he called back as he ushered them inside. _

"_What the hell?" Lily asked sharply, but Vernon just shook his head as he took their contributions to the dinner._

"_I'm not sure I'm following," Kakashi mumbled, which caused Lily to blush for some reason. Really what was Vernon implying?_

_Vernon chuckled as he made his way into the kitchen where Petunia was putting the finishing touches to the before dinner tray, as Kakashi chose to call it. He could smell some type of fish being baked in the oven along with something garlic, but other than that he wasn't sure what would be for dinner. Petunia looked up from her work, and like Vernon, her smile faltered and her eyes widened. _

"_Tunney, what is it?" Lily asked nervously, fidgeting against Kakashi's side since he had wrapped his arm around her when they came into kitchen._

"_You know Dad's going to be here, right?" Petunia asked sharply, for some reason worried. Lily nodded, but Petunia just shook her head, "You two are so obvious!" she exclaimed. _

"_Okay, I'm really not following," Kakashi spoke up, now thoroughly confused and annoyed. What the hell were they talking about?_

_Vernon sighed heavily and sat down at the table, "Look, it's obvious something happened that made you two much closer than you used to me, do you catch my drift?"_

_Kakashi just stared at the man with his mouth partially open, his brain didn't want to process what Vernon was implying but based Lily's bright red face she had already processed it. "You can tell?" she asked weakly and covered her face in her hands. She could have said nothing and their suspicions wouldn't have been confirmed. There could be any number of reasons for their apparent closeness, Vernon and Petunia hadn't seen them together in over a month and there had been other leaps in their relationship than just sex. _

"_Yes, just tell me you two have been safe?" Petunia looked worried for Lily, "I still remember when Dad found out Vernon and I didn't follow his rules. I swear he was about to pop a blood vessel!" Petunia was wringing her hands anxiously. "You know he threatened to disown me if I got pregnant before I was married?"_

_Kakashi's brain finally caught up fully with the situation, and so he began to wave his arms frantically across his body while shaking his head, "N-Now, wait just a minute, there could be another reason," all eyes were on him, and he knew his face was likely red. "You two haven't seen us together in over a month and I highly doubt either of you are adept at reading other people, so you couldn't be reading our sexual tension. So what you're seeing as a new closeness could be that we've opened up more to each other in the past month." Kakashi took a deep breath after giving his reasoning and waited for the married couple to speak. _

_Vernon looked like he was about to make a lewd comment, likely in reference to the last thing Kakashi said, when Lily spoke, "What do you mean they can't read sexual tension?"_

"_Lily," Kakashi deadpanned, "Our tension, though there, was subtle to bystanders. Mr. Snape was the only one to notice it, and they don't have Mr. Snape's observation skills, now do they?" Lily hummed before conceding to his point. _

"_Wait, what?" Petunia was looking between them in confusion. "What do you know about reading people? Are you some expert on it?"_

"_Can I tell them?" Lily asked and Kakashi grimaced before nodding slowly. _

"_Vernon you were right before," Lily began, causing Vernon to start, "'Kashi does do espionage, just not against other countries, usually," Lily ended lamely while both Dursley's began to splutter, likely in indignation. _

"_Mah, I didn't mean to deceive, but at the time Lily was just a friend, so she wasn't in the need-to-know," this seemed to placate Vernon but piss off Petunia, "I'm in the crime syndicate division. I infiltrate syndicates and take them down from the inside, or at least scrounge up enough information to get them solidly behind bars. It's a dangerous field and I have had targets on me in the past, which is why I'm hesitant to talk about what I really do." _

_Lily hurriedly added to his explanation "And he hasn't had a target on him for over a year now, so I'm safe. Besides, Kakashi's very capable of protecting both of us."_

_Which was true, he could protect both of them very easily, and with Lily being a witch, she could protect herself well too. As for the crime syndicate division, that was about as close to the truth as he could get. The majority of his infiltration/assassination missions were infiltrating some crime organization; of course he had other missions since his team died, but those were his most common. _

_Since confiding in Lily about his modified childhood, and admitting he had killed someone before, it had seemed natural to confess that he was in not so innocent special operations. She knew the worst of it before he even brought it up, so she took it in stride, which was miracle, though shouldn't have been too surprising consider how she had handled everything else he told her. _

_He stayed truthful in his modifications. It was usually crime bosses he took out, and they were usually smuggling drugs or people around the outskirts of Konoha. ANBU often stepped in because, even though the organizations' offenses were inexcusable, the tyrants who ran those operations usually gave monetary support to the countries their shady businesses affected. No ninja wanted a crime boss to tie the misfortune of another syndicate to their own nation. If bosses did start making those connections, then there went monetary support, and more people would be taken from their country to be sold. It was an amoral business, like he told Severus. _

"_What else did you lie about?" Petunia snapped. She seemed worried and annoyed at the same time. Perhaps annoyed her sister kept getting involved with targeted people. _

"_Nothing else, and I do, do peace missions," Kakashi added, "I may have omitted other things but nothing else have I lied about."_

"_What do you mean omitted?" Petunia was eyeing him darkly and Kakashi sighed as he leaned against a counter. _

"_Tunney!" Petunia looked away and gave Lily a concerned-older-sister look. "He was a child solider, what do you think he omitted?" the blonde winced at her sister's words and looked down ashamed. _

"_I'm sorry, I was being…callous," Petunia sighed and straightened out the serving platters. _

"_Mah, that's why I'm in therapy, don't worry," Lily elbowed him, "Ow! Lily, why'd you do that?!" she rolled her eyes but she was smiling slightly. Vernon chuckled and the atmosphere lightened a little more._

"_Oh, and to answer the earlier questions, we are being safe," Kakashi stated with an eye-smile while the Evans sisters choked on air. _

"'_Kashi!" Lily lightly whacked him on the arm._

"_But Lily," Kakashi whined jokingly, "Petunia was going to worry all night about that," said woman looked at him sharply before sighing and nodding her head. Vernon just laughed louder. That was when the doorbell rang. Vernon hurried up from his chair to answer it, all the while laughing at Lily and Kakashi's antics. _

"_Good evening, Harry. I'm glad you could join us," Vernon could be heard from the hallway, his voice booming._

"_Good evening to you too, Vernon," Harold's voice was becoming louder; evidently they were already heading toward the kitchen. _

_Soon Harold and Vernon were standing in the kitchen where everyone greeted the newcomer. To Kakashi, Harold looked a little worse for wear, pale and haggard looking. He eyed Lily and Kakashi warily, but Petunia motioned for them to go into the adjoining dining room to sit down. Vernon and Harold were at the head of the table while Kakashi and Lily sat on one side and Petunia on the other side. _

_Lily helped Petunia bring the platters of before-dinner-food out to the table while Vernon uncorked the wine bottle and poured three glasses. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but silently noted that he and Petunia were the only ones who wouldn't be drinking it seemed. _

"_How have you been Takashi? Starting classes up again in the fall?" Harold asked as he helped himself to a cracker with cheese. _

"_Yes, I'll be taking a lighter load since I'll have an internship this fall," Kakashi lied smoothly, eye-smiling as he helped himself to some of the fruit set out on the table. He avoided the bowl of olives, even going so far as to eye them uncertainly. They had tricked him once at a previous dinner, he wouldn't be tricked again. _

_Lily laughed beside him and shook her head, "The olives aren't going to hurt you."_

"_I beg to differ," Kakashi quickly replied. Lily must have noticed his efforts at avoiding that bowl. _

_As she began reaching for the spoon in the olive bowl, she continued teasing him, "Just try one, 'Kashi."_

"_No."_

"_Just one," Lily coaxed as she scooped an olive onto the spoon. _

"_No."_

"_It won't hurt you to try one," by this point the rest of the table was laughing at their little argument. Lily even brought the spoon with the olive on it up to Kakashi's face. He reared his head back and shook his head._

"_No, they tricked me once," Kakashi continued to protest, completely aware that he was acting petulant and enjoying that fact. Normally he wouldn't feel comfortable acting this way, but with Lily he could. Besides, olives were just evil and deceptive. He refused to eat another one after that first time. _

"_How did they trick?" Lily asked, partially exasperated and partially amused. _

"_They look like they shouldn't be disgusting, but they are. They're deceiving," Lily looked at him incredulously but Kakashi remained firm in his belief. _

"_You like sardines, how can you not like olives?" Lily finally set the spoon back down and began shaking her head, though she was clearly amused. _

"_I told you olives are deceptive, they look like they should taste sweet and good but they don't." Lily just looked at him for a moment before shaking her head again, an amused smile on her face._

"_Okay, be that way." Harold and Petunia sobered quickly, but Vernon was still laughing when Harold spoke up. Petunia had just gotten up to check on the dinner but paused at her father's question. _

"_You two seem much closer than before?" suspicion was heavy in his voice. _

_Kakashi simply eye-smiled while Lily blushed slightly at the question. Her blush wasn't too condemning, so Kakashi could still turn around any assumptions Harold had. "Mah, I'd imagine so after seven months of dating," Kakashi looked over at Lily, a soft smile made its way onto his face. He was thinking about that day in the park when they admitted to loving each other. "I don't think there is anything I haven't told you yet," except that he was a ninja from a continent hidden from the rest of the world. Other than that, he had pretty much told Lily a modified version of everything. _

_Petunia relaxed slightly and smiled before she turned back toward the kitchen. Harold didn't seem to notice his eldest daughter's behavior; instead, he as focusing on the young couple adjacent to him. _

_Lily reached out for Kakashi's hand which was resting on the table, "And I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me," her smile was small as well and a little sad, perhaps from what all he had told her. She leaned over and gave him a peck on the check. Harold still looked a little suspicious, but not nearly as much as he had before. _

"_What exactly do you mean, Takashi?" he asked and Vernon answered for Kakashi. _

"_He's apparently like James Bond," Vernon joked, a broad grin splitting his face in two. _

"_James what?" Petunia called from the kitchen, she had pan in her oven-mitted hands. _

"_Oh I'll help clean up the table," Lily announced as she picked up a few of the platters. Kakashi was about to help her but she shot him a look and he quickly sat back down. Why didn't she let him help her and her sister when they had dinners? _

"_But what did Vernon say?" Petunia asked as she moved to set the glass pan down on a trivet in the middle of the table. _

"_I said, Takashi is sort of like James Bond," Vernon chuckled and took a sip of his wine. Petunia practically giggled and shook her head._

"_I'm not sure that's completely true," she was laughing slightly in embarrassment, but that clued Kakashi into what, or rather who, they were talking about. _

"_Oh! You guys are talking about those pulp fiction books in the front of book stores?" Kakashi asked, he remembered seeing the name James Bond in the title for most of those. Lily returned at this point carrying another pan that was filled with different roasted vegetables and smelled of garlic. _

_She was shaking her head, "I still can't believe you and Mum would read those," Lily said to her sister who blushed brightly._

"_Well we can't all be book snobs," she shot back, mock glaring at her sister. Kakashi chuckled along with Lily. _

"_Oh I don't think we're book snobs," Lily replied slowly. _

"_We just try to avoid bodice rippers," Kakashi added which made Petunia blush brighter in embarrassment. _

"_Well they were very good stories and full of action," the blonde tried to defend herself but Vernon shot down her hopes with two words coupled with his salacious smile. _

"_I'll say."_

"_Oh shut up all of you!" she hid her face in her hands while the rest of them began to laugh. Harold patted his daughter sympathetically on the arm while he snickered into his wine glass. _

"_There, there my girl. Let's say our blessings and dig in before you die from mortification." Petunia made a whining noise but eventually lifted her head from her hands. _

_While the Evans family, and in extension Vernon, said their blessing, Kakashi remained silent. When they were finished he announced Itadakimasu before offering to serve the vegetables while Vernon served the fish. _

"_What was that that you said?" Harold asked as he waited for his plate. _

_Kakashi turned and gave him an eye-smile, "It means something like, let's eat, in Japanese. It's just something we say before eating." _

_Harold hummed and nodded his head, "Do you mind me asking what religion you follow? I know there are some Christians in Japan but I'm assuming you aren't one?" Kakashi nodded his head as he began serving vegetables for Petunia. Harold was genuinely curious. He wasn't trying to be offensive, like Lily apparently believed he was being – if her under the breath curses were any guess._

"_I loosely practice Shintoism," Kakashi shrugged, he didn't really believe in a religion per se. "With the life I've had, I guess I don't put much stock in religion," Vernon was frowning in disapproval along with Petunia, but Harold just seemed confused. "I mean, I do believe in Gods and shinigami, but I don't really care for the ornament of religion."_

"_Shini-what?" Vernon asked as he was handing back Petunia's plate. _

_Kakashi took Lily's plate as he thought how best to answer that question, "Umm…I guess you'd say the Grim Reaper?" _

_Petunia was looking at him incredulously, "You believe in the Grim Reaper?"_

"_Yes, and it might sound crazy, but I swear I saw him," Lily looked over at Kakashi sharply, concern written on her face, "when Minato-sensei died," Kakashi finished and Lily relaxed slightly. Even from his comparatively safe location, he could see the shinigami take his sensei as it sealed the Kyuubi inside of Naruto. He could still remember that ungodly presence, and couldn't stop himself from shuddering. _

_Harold was frowning along with everyone else. The last plates were severed quickly in an awkward silence. After a few bites, Petunia spoke up, pretending that the previous conversation hadn't happened. _

"_So what are you bookworms reading now?" she asked slowly, teasing them slightly while also trying to get over the uncomfortable tension in the air._

"_Well, we're planning to reread _theLord of the Rings series_, but to each other," Lily answered. _

"_You're reading all of book one and most of six," Kakashi paused and added as an afterthought, "and the Rivendell parts." Lily gave him an affronted look. _

"_Oh, so you're going to read all the depressing parts, instead of letting me skip them?" Lily asked in disbelief._

"_Mah, I wouldn't call them depressing. And you're going to make me sit through the Shire parts." _

_Lily gave him a deadpan look, "You don't consider Moria, Emyn Muil, or that staircase to Shelob's lair depressing?"_

"_Well at least they aren't boring," was Kakashi's rebuttal. _

"_How is the Shire boring?! How can you not like the Shire?" Lily asked in exasperation. By this point in their argument the former tense mood was alleviate and laughter resumed. _

_Petunia broke into their argument, her hands clasped together in front of her, "You two are just perfect for each other," she gushed while laughing. _

_That took the wind out of Kakashi's sails and made him forget what his counter argument was going to be. Instead of continuing their playful argument, both Kakashi and Lily were blushing brightly. _

"_Yes, you two do make quite the couple, though I'm still surprised that you're a spy, Takashi," Harold's mirth was leaving him, he seemed to be dwelling on that earlier revelation. _

"_I'm not familiar with the Bond series, but I mostly just spy on crime syndicates and go undercover." Harold was frowning but nodded approvingly. Likely he was concerned about Lily being in danger. "If it sets your mind at ease, sir, I'm very good at disguising myself when I go undercover."_

"_Hmm…"_

_Lily sighed but reached out to squeeze Kakashi's hand. She was likely recalling the long talk they had about him hiding behind a mask. The people at this table and Severus were the only ones to know what he really looked like – well, minus his hair color and hidden sharingan. There were few living people who could still remember what he had looked like as a child. _

_But that was a can of worms he refused to open tonight. Lily could know about his mask wearing, but not the rest of them. _

_The conversation turned to Lily's new job starting tomorrow. Harold was proud of his daughter, though Kakashi noted the man looked saddened by something. Perhaps he had hopped his daughter would have entered an exciting magical field of work, but instead she had turned back to the muggle world?_

"_Well let's toast to your new job and for good luck," Vernon stated. He had finished eating and now lifted up his glass. Kakashi and Petunia both lifted up their water glasses while everyone else held up wineglasses. Of course, it was at this moment that Lily noticed her sister's distinct lack of alcohol. _

"_Tunney? You're not drinking?" It looked like the cogs were already turning in Lily's head while Petunia tried to bite down on her smile, but eventually the excited smile won over. _

"_I'm afraid to jinx it, but I'm expecting," Petunia announced and held her breath as Lily stared at her in amazement. _

"_Oh my God!" Lily squealed, jumping up from the table to hug her sister. "You're pregnant, oh my God!" Lily covered her mouth with her hands to muffle her excited cries. Then the excitement seemed to pause as a thought occurred to Lily, "Oh my God, I'm going to an aunt!?" she squealed again and hugged her sister tightly once more. _

_Harold and Vernon were both chuckling at their respective ends of the table, both expressing pride and love but in different forms. _

"_My baby girl's having a baby," Harold shook his head in disbelief, perhaps at how fast time went by. Kakashi sat in his seat, offered words of good luck and congratulations when appropriate, but otherwise he remained out of the conversation. _

_Lily talked animatedly with her sister, while Harold threw in the occasional comment here and there. What were they planning to name the kid if it was boy or girl? Where they hopping for a boy? Did they have plans for the baby? _

_It made Kakashi uneasy hearing them talk about Petunia's unborn child. The last couple he knew who had been expecting had been Minato-sensei and Kushina-san. That remainder led to Kakashi being unable to stop thinking about Naruto. _

_Kakashi helped the Evans sisters clear up the table, using the "But you're pregnant" card on Petunia when she tried to tell him to go sit down with the men in the lounge. He was in autopilot, giving them eye-smiles and nods when appropriate while he scrubbed at the dishes. Of course, after the dishes were washed he was shoved into the lounge where Harold and Vernon were still discussing baby things. The women seemed to want some time to themselves._

"_Say Takeshi," Vernon began while swirling the glass of scotch in his hand, "Are there any traditions where you're from for babies?" _

_Kakashi blinked a few times before he registered the questions, "No, I don't think there, sorry," he gave them an eye-smile before attempting to passively participate in the conversation; however, they wouldn't let him be. He just wanted to sit there and drown them out, but they had to ask questions, uncomfortable questions that made him feel guilty about Naruto._

_Harold spoke next while Vernon started to take a sip of scotch, "What do children do in Japan?" he asked innocently enough. Vernon promptly began to choke on his drink and shake his head vehemently, but it was too late. _

_Kakashi eye-smiled and shrugged, "I can't imagine it's too different," he wasn't sure if Harold had been informed of his unusual childhood or not. Judging by Vernon's reaction, though, he'd say Harold was clueless. _

_Vernon was still coughing, but Harold passed his son-in-law's actions off as being unaccustomed to strong liquor. Harold rubbed absentmindedly at his chest while he spoke, "What games did you play? What was school like?" Vernon was grimacing now but again, Harold didn't pay him much mind._

"_Well, ninja was a popular game in my village, but I never went to school, so I can't say what that was like…" He let his voice trail off, not sure what else he could say. Naruto didn't get to play ninja because the other children were told to stay away from him. Kakashi never played it because he never interacted with the children his age unless he had to. _

"_What do you mean? They have schools in Japan, don't they?" Vernon had given up it seemed and let Harold ask his innocently callous questions. _

_Naruto was at the academy now, but he had no one to come home to tell about what he learned or get pointers on what he knew. Naruto was the class reject, isolated from his peers and hated. Kakashi isolated himself and hated his inferior peers, but that had been his choice and at least he had his father to come home to…_

"_Yes, but I grew up in Korea, in a small jungle village. I consider Japan my home now, but it wasn't where I grew up." Kakashi shook his head slightly as he said the last part and eye-smiled to show no harm was done. _

_Harold was frowning, almost like he was in pain, but he nodded slowly. "I see, so you grew up there during the war?" Kakashi could only nod and the man grimaced, rubbing at his chest absentmindedly, "I'm sorry if I opened unwanted memories, I didn't know."_

"_It's fine Harry, sir," Kakashi saw this as perfect opportunity to get away from all the baby talk. "I wasn't sure if you were informed about my past, so really, no harm done," Kakashi paused before giving both men another eye-smile, "I'd like to get some air, if that's alright." _

_He saw guilt flash across Harold's face, but Kakashi could deal with causing the man to assume the worst if he could just get out of here. They both nodded stiffly and Kakashi made his way to the front door which was closest. After closing the door he could hear Lily calling from the kitchen. _

"_Did someone just leave?"_

_He didn't bother trying to pick up what Vernon said; instead, he just started walking. He flinched when he heard the door open and close behind him and heard Lily running to catch up with him. "Takashi, my dad didn't—"_

"_It's not about that Lily, don't worry," Kakashi sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. He wanted to be alone to his thoughts, but he knew Lily wouldn't let him, which was probably for the best in all actuality._

"_Really because it doesn't seem that way," she retorted, probably annoyed that he was closing himself off from her again. Kakashi remained silent, but by this point they came to a small playground. He sat down heavily on one of the swings; Lily claimed the one beside his. "Are you going to talk about it now?"_

_Kakashi smiled sadly and scuffed his toe against the dirt, "These are the only things Naruto can play on," he murmured, as he clenched his fists against the metal links that comprised the chains connecting to the bar above them. _

"_What?" _

_Kakashi shook his head and gave Lily an eye-smile. "I had to get out of there. I saw an opportunity to do so without seeming too rude." Lily had her brow furrowed in confusion, so Kakashi elaborated. "The last couple I knew that was expecting had been Minato-sensei and Kushina-san." Kakashi took a deep breath after saying that and waited while understanding started to dawn on Lily. _

"_What happened to the baby?" she asked slowly, almost hesitantly, as if she feared the worse. _

"_I made sure he was taken to Japan with me," Lily seemed to relax visibly but she still looked confused. "You know, he looks just like Minato-sensei and he already acts just like Kushina-san," he could feel pressure building up behind his eyes, but he just took deep breaths to try and push back the pressure. "I stop in to visit as much as I can, but…it's so painful."_

_Lily looked down at her lap. Her hands were curled loosely around the metal-links on either side of her. Her brow was furrowed in concern and confusion, "'Kashi, why do you sound…regretful?"_

_Kakashi sighed as he bowed his head forward. "He's three and he's been to at least twenty different foster homes." It was the best analogy he could come up with for the village pariah, and considering Lily would assume Minato-sensei died toward the end of the war, he had to change the kid's age. Naruto was six – almost seven – and living on his own in a tiny one room apartment. Before that he'd been moved from orphanage to orphanage until he could finally start at the academy. Every day he saw the little blonde sitting dejectedly at the swings…he couldn't help but feel that he was failing his sensei. _

_Lily had a hand to her mouth in shock and perhaps even horror, was she thinking Naruto was physically abused? No, no one had dared put a hand to the "Kyuubi incarnate," they just verbally abused him and malnourished him. Kakashi shook his head, "Sometimes I feel like I should just adopt him but…but I don't know how to take care of kids."_

_Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know what kids are supposed to be like, and they terrify me. You might think children are sweet and innocent, but people called me that too before they ended up with a knife in their lungs," Lily gasped and stood up from her swing. Perhaps that had been a little harsh and gory, but it was true. _

"_Oh 'Kashi…" she started to reach out toward him but he halted her with an eye-smile. _

"_So it was…hard, you know? Listening to your conversation tonight. I don't trust kids because, irrationally, I think they could be just like me and my comrades from the war. And then I think about the fact I've abandoned the last living piece of my mentor because of the aforementioned fears," he swallowed thickly before rubbing at his face. _

_Kakashi took a moment to breathe before he shook his head and looked up. "I'm happy for you all, really I am," Kakashi stated as he stood up to face Lily, who still looked horrified yet concerned for his well-being. "I wish I knew what children were supposed to be like, then maybe…" he wasn't sure how to end that thought. Maybe he wouldn't be so fucked up? Maybe he could adopt Naruto and know that he wasn't screwing him up irreparably? _

_Lily moved toward him and slowly wrapped her arms around him. The stood there for who knew how long, but eventually they started to head back to Petunia's. Lily had nothing to say, and he was glad that that was the case. Anything she could have said would have been hollow words because she got to be a child, and she seemed to know this. So she did the best thing she could have, she was there physically for him. She didn't judge him on what he had said, and she had accepted him no matter how horrifying the truth was. She was supporting him, and that was all he could have asked for. _

_They were outside on the front lawn of # 4 Privet Drive, when Lily spoke at last. "Well, I suppose we should show you what kids are like then, hmm?" Kakashi gave her a small smile, perhaps that would be nice, but it was also terrifying. Her soft smile turned it a coy yet almost mischievous look, "So…I guess you're going to have to babysit with me."_

"_What?" Lily laughed at his horrified but shocked expression. She wasn't serious, was she?_

"_I see you two are back," Harold said from the door way, he sounded slightly out of breath to Kakashi. Harold had a small smile on his face as he approached them; however, Kakashi could hear pain in his voice, even if Lily couldn't. "I'll be heading home now, but…." The man trailed off and the closer Harold got, the more concerned Kakashi became. The man was pale and in the dim light he could see sweat collecting at the older man's temples and around his neck. It was cool now that the sun went down, so there was little reason for him to be sweating, at least as excessively as he was. _

"_Harry, are you okay?" Kakashi asked quickly, moving toward the older man. His left arm was tense at his side, as if Harold was in pain but trying to not let on that he was. _

"_Oh I'm fine, Takashi, I wanted to apologize though—"_

"_I meant what I said, no harm done, honest. But are you sure you're okay?" Lily was concerned now that Kakashi was being persistent. Harold just shook his head at Kakashi's concern and gave the Jounin a small smile that was trying to hide pain. _

"_Lily call an ambulance," Kakashi had seen plenty of ninja go down from a heart attack, most commonly due to overdosing on solider pills, or from too much adrenaline mixed with poison. He knew what was happening to Harold, he should have noticed the signs sooner…_

"_What?!" Lily was already heading toward the house and Harold looked annoyed with him, though also in obvious discomfort. _

"_I am battle first aid certified, and I've seen many a heart attack," Kakashi received a glare from the stubborn man that he happily returned. Now he knew why so many medics were stern with him, stubborn patients were, well a bitch to deal with. _

"_Can you feel your left arm, Harold?" Harold gritted his teeth but shook his head in negation. He was grimacing now; likely the heart was going out of rhythm, and his breathing was becoming more difficult. _

_Lily was inside now, dialing for an ambulance. Kakashi helped the man down to the ground just as his eyes began to roll to the back of his head. The heart attack was fully hitting Harold now. Kakashi quickly unbuttoned Harold's shirt, he had precious little time before Petunia and Vernon came out. He set his hands to make a cross current that would hopefully re-jump Harold's heart and set it back in rhythm. Using his lightning aligned chakra, he sent a jolt through the older man. Kakashi set his head to Harold's chest and cursed before lacing his hands together with the heel of his palm below Harold's breast bone. He then began CPR. Kakashi wished he had time to get his CPR mask out from his storage scroll, but he could already hear Petunia and Vernon running out to him. Hopefully he wouldn't get anything, because it was clear Harold was no longer breathing._

_While he was doing chest compressions he turned to address Petunia and Vernon, "Do either of you know how to do chest compressions?" they shook their heads. Kakashi cursed under his breath and continued to administer CPR. They were hovering, which just made Kakashi grit his teeth in annoyance. Damn it, why wasn't Harold stirring, and where was the ambulance. _

_Two minutes had almost passed since he started CPR. "Would you two not hover," Kakashi growled out which caused the couple to jump back from him. Lily was still on the phone; likely she had to stay on it until the ambulance came. _

_Vernon and Petunia were a good ways away from him now; he could possibly risk giving Harold another shock. He shifted his hands quickly and sent another current before resuming chest compressions, Harold still hadn't stirred._

_He could hear the sirens, long before they came near, but Kakashi was perhaps on his fifth cycle of shocks and CPR when he felt Harold breathing. He quickly felt for a pulse and tipped backwards onto his back in relief. The pulse was steady, but he was just unconscious. _

"_Is he okay now?" Vernon rushed out while Petunia just stood by wringing her hands. _

"_His pulse and breathing is stable again," Kakashi breathed out, and not a minute later emergency rescue came and put Harold on a gurney as they watched his vitals. _

"_Were you the one who gave him CPR," Kakashi nodded curtly to the emergency response man. "He's stable for the moment," the then turned to Petunia and Vernon. Lily was outside now, finally off the phone with the emergency people. "Are you two family?"_

"_Yes," Petunia replied, her voice trembling, Lily was now holding onto her sister as they moved over to the man. "Both of you are family?" he asked again, likely now noticed the familial resemblance between the Evans sisters. The sisters nodded. "You can ride with us; we'll be asking you questions about the patient." Lily looked back at Kakashi who gave her an encouraging nod. She smiled weakly before climbing in the back of the ambulance. It was going to be long night for them, but at least Harold was alive. _

Petunia was helping her daughter ice a two tiered cake. Was this how kids were supposed to act? So happy over even the simplest of things, so innocent? Dudley was amusing himself with a comic book while he sat at the dining room table swinging his pudgy legs. Crow was in his lap and he was absentmindedly scratching behind her ears. Heather was standing on a stepping stool with her mother holding onto her securely.

Kakashi broke his attention away from the almost sickeningly domestic scene to hear a car pull into the driveway. The kids must have heard the car door slam closed because they hopped away from what they were doing to race into the hall, likely to greet whoever opened the door. Crow was two steps ahead of them. Petunia smiled fondly before turning back to the cake and amending her daughter's mistakes. She then began to write something on it in a new color of icing that was in a pastry bag. He couldn't read it from this angle and there were no reflective surfaces to help him.

"Dad!" Dudley greeted loudly, well the boy also had that in common with his father.

"Papa!" Heather cried from the hall. Kakashi could hear Vernon chuckle and greet his children fondly. Soon they were all back in the kitchen, Heather being carried against her father's hip despite being a little old for it.

Vernon looked over at the table and frowned, "Dudley, what have we told you about leaving your things around the house?" there was no anger in his voice, just a touch of disappointment. The large boy ducked his head and grimaced before he hurried over to the dining table and picked up the comic book he had dropped. "Thank you, now that's the responsible kid I know" Vernon moved to ruffle the boy's hair.

"Papa, I want down," Heather demanded and Vernon chuckled as he set the girl back on her feet.

"There you go Princess," he ruffled her hair too, much to the little girl's chagrin. Vernon then moved over to Petunia and set his meaty hands on her hips. She smiled coyly at him while he planted a whiskery kiss on her cheek, "And how has Mrs. Dursley been today?" The kids made gagging noises behind their parents back while the married couple just kissed in response.

"Oh, I'm fine," she put the finishing touches to the cake and smiled before turning around to her husband. "Now why don't you go clean yourself up, they're due back any minute." Vernon chuckled as he was shooed out of the room.

"And Dudley, why don't you put your comic book away too," Petunia added.

"Okay, Mum," Dudley followed after his father which left the two females of the family behind. Kakashi couldn't help but dwell on who the "they" were that Petunia had mentioned. Was it Lily, her husband, and their child? However, the table was set for sex not seven. Was Lily a single parent?

Kakashi's heart rate picked up, but that wasn't possible because they had always used protection. No, there had to be another reason. Maybe the kid's father had ditched or had work? That was probably it, because Harold had still been alive and kicking when Kakashi left; granted, he wasn't in the best condition and even the slightest shock was likely to kill him, but… Kakashi was over thinking things. There was a logical explanation for why there six plates set at the table and not seven.

It was during his ponderings that he heard a loud crack. He jumped off the windowsill in shock but quickly scampered over the dining room window. He'd get a better view of what was going on over here, since the Dursleys and guests were about to have dinner. He could also see into the living room from this vantage point, though the view was limited. Heather was no longer in the kitchen, likely now in the hallway.

Petunia was frowning but she just shook her head and began to set the food on the table. It looked like they were having ham. He could smell it through the glass, or perhaps that was hunger making him imagine things. He hadn't eaten since that café earlier in the day.

"Uncle, Uncle!" Heather cheered from the hallway. Kakashi could practically hear Dudley thundering down the stairs and also crying the same title; however, Kakashi's stomach had dropped at what they had said. Lily wasn't here, her husband was. He took a few calming breaths. He could hear Heather's loud demands for a magic trick, but her voiced seemed miles away even with his chakra enhanced hearing.

"I've told you a million times that I refuse to perform magic like some paltry party trick," Kakashi's jaw dropped at that new voice. Severus…Severus married Lily?! Part of him wanted to cuss the snide bastard out, but then he also felt happy for him… But, then why the hell wasn't Lily here?!

"You know she'll keep pestering you, Uncle, until you transfigure something," that was a child's voice but it wasn't Dudley and obviously not Heather. Kakashi's breath caught in his throat as the group entered the dining room from the living room.

He looked so much like Lily, the kid that was walking beside Severus. His eyes were the same almond-shape, and the same exact hue of vibrant green. His nose was almost exactly like Lily's, and his cheekbone structure was similar too. Kakashi wasn't sure where the boy's narrow jaw came from, though. But his eyes… His eyes were identical to hers and they focused almost immediately on Kakashi's henge upon entering the room. There was a marginal narrowing of his – Lily's — eyes before the boy focused back up at Snape.

The boy was olive skinned, which was a darker complexion than Lily had, and his hair was pitch black. Severus could have very well been his father, if not for the boy's complexion, but then the boy had called Severus Uncle. Severus was an uncle to this boy, but where was his mother? Because there was no doubt now that the child before him was her son and not Marge's son. At the back of his mind, he knew the answer but he didn't want it to be true. Perhaps she had important business elsewhere because he refused to believe anything else. Lily couldn't be dead, she just couldn't!

He missed what passed between the group as he vainly tried to deny what logic was shouting at him, but now that boy was staring at his henge again. His head was tilted slightly to the side, he looked confused yet intrigued.

"What is it Harry?" Severus asked, following the boy's line of sight. The kid blinked a few times before he shook his head.

"Nothing Uncle," the kid gave a fake cheerful smile that caused his eyes to crinkle up. Severus just rolled his eyes and shook his head while he muttered something under his breath.

It was at this point that Vernon entered the room. He was frowning but he nodded his head to Severus, "Snape," he greeted with a gruff voice.

"Dursley."

The kids rolled their eyes at the interchange. Vernon ruffled Harry's hair as he passed to sit down at the head of the table. Petunia offered Severus the other end but he declined and sat down next to Dudley while Heather claimed a seat next to her cousin. There was no blessing the food, but Severus helped the other adults pass out servings to the children and to each other.

"Thank you for inviting me Ev- Petunia," Severus corrected himself and gave her his best attempt at a cordial smile. She snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Well the kids adore you," Petunia explained as she began to cut up Heather's ham. The girl protested but her mother ignored her. The two boys snickered to each other. "Lord knows why," she mumbled under her breath.

"Yes well…" Severus shifted uncomfortably before turning to Dudley who had already tucked into his diner. "Are you looking forward to that school, Smeltings, was it?" he asked conversationally, though he still managed to sound awkward. The wizard had never been good in social situations, especially with muggles or children. Dudley was both which made the man more awkward.

It was easier for Kakashi to just follow their conversation than the think of the possibilities. To think that Lily was … he couldn't even finish the thought.

Dudley swallowed before he answered, "I'm really excited, but Harry," the boy turned to his cousin, "You gotta send me lots of letters from Hedwig, yeah!?" Petunia and Vernon crinkled their noses at what their son said but made no other sign of complaint. Hedwig was likely an owl, since that was the wizarding way of sending and receiving mail. "And you gotta tell me all about Hogwarts."

"Me too! Me too!" Heather exclaimed as she latched herself onto her cousin's arm. The boy ducked his head and blushed at the attention. Heather was looking up at him with a broad smile. Now that they were all together, the three of them could be siblings, Heather being the link between the Evans extreme and the Dursley extreme.

"Okay," Harry replied in a small voice, clearly embarrassed. The adults were smiling slightly at the exchange between the children, clearly finding it endearing. "But Dudley," Harry added, looking back up with at his cousin with an almost conspiratorial grin, "You have to tell me about all the pranks and adventures you go on."

"Deal!" Dudley agreed as they both began to snicker. Heather looked put out to be excluded from the boys. It almost seemed like a common occurrence to her that they had their own jokes that she wasn't allowed to be a part of.

"Oh Merlin," Severus rolled his eyes, "Harry, I better not catch you pulling any pranks while at Hogwarts, its time you put that behind you."

Harry gave Severus a sidelong look while smiling mischievously. "Okay, I won't be caught doing pranks." Severus gave the boy a hard look before relenting and shaking his head.

"So much like your mother," he mumbled, which caused Petunia to laugh and Vernon to chuckle.

As Vernon sobered up, he turned to look at Harry, "So what did you do after camp?"

"Well after camp," Harry began, "Uncle Severus picked me up and we practiced cutting potions ingredient, 'cause he'll be mad if I can't when term starts—"

"I didn't say that and you know it, brat," Severus interjected, giving the boy a mock glare, "I said no Godson of mine is going to fail potions." Petunia and Vernon actually chuckled at this.

"Semantics," the boy waved his hand dismissively which only caused his aunt and uncle to laugh louder and Severus to give him a deadpan look, as if asking if the boy really knew what that meant. "Anyways," Harry hurried on, "Then Uncle Severus showed me memories of Mum and Dad." Vernon raised an eyebrow at this and Petunia also seemed intrigued.

Severus could show memories? Could that bypass the seal Kakashi put on him? He severely hoped not. The Jounin pushed these thoughts, amongst others, to the side.

"Oh, and what did Snape show you?" Petunia asked. The other kids looked interested too in what Harry would say.

"He showed me a memory of Mum kicking his butt!"

"Harry!" Petunia reprimanded his choice of words while his cousins snickered along with their father. Severus was blushing slightly as he took a sip of water.

"You had to say that memory, not the memory I showed you of your mother playing with me as a child," Severus shook his head and muttered something incoherent under his breath. Harry just smiled mischievously and laughed to himself.

"In my defense, you're mother had a brutal right hook and I quickly realized I should not have underestimated her," Petunia began to laugh along with Vernon. Severus was wearing his own amused smirk despite the humiliating memory.

"Is that so, guess those lessons from Takashi paid off, huh?" Vernon crowed before reaching for his water.

Severus smiled softly, almost sadly, before he nodded, "I suppose you could say Mr. Hatake was a good teacher." The adults' mood dampened slightly but the kids were talking excitedly to each other, having quickly lost interest when Vernon piped in.

"Don't worry Heather, soon enough you'll be going to a privet school like us too," Dudley stated in an attempt to cheer up his sister. Harry nodded his head to his cousin's words and put a hand on Heather's shoulder. The girl cheered up slightly.

"Yeah, it'll probably be just as cool as our schools," Harry added and Heather began to smile brightly.

The diner continued on with the kids branching off into their own conversations with Severus listening in, or the adults talking about their careers. Petunia was thinking of picking back up temp work once the boys go off to boarding school. Soon everyone was finished and the plates were cleared off the table, the kids eagerly pitched in because desert would be served faster that way. Petunia then brought out the cake which read, "Good luck at school my little men" the cousins grinned brightly to each other and there were murmurs of good luck as the cake was served.

"Now, Harry, I know Dudley plans to come home for Christmas," Vernon began after swallowing his first bite of cake. Harry looked up at him sharply and Severus was eyeing the large man too. "Now, you don't have to, but it would be nice to have the whole family present for the Holiday," Vernon stated slowly, obviously trying not to pressure the boy.

Harry looked up surprised, clearly having not thought that far ahead. He looked conflicted and turned to look at Severus who held his hands up like he wanted to have no part in his decision. Harry bowed his head, too conflicted to make a decision.

Severus sighed and dropped his hands, "Fine," he started in exasperation "It may be possible for you to do both," Severus sated, "I would have to get the Headmaster's permission, but since I've been visiting you all on Christmas anyways…" Severus trailed off while making a circular motion with his hand.

The kids' eyes widened in glee at the prospect, and Petunia couldn't help but smile along with her husband. "That would be great if it can work, but you have a long time yet to decide what you want to do," Petunia told her nephew, "Just, you know, keep the magical things to a minimum."

Severus scoffed and rolled his eyes which caused both Vernon and Petunia to glare at him. "Have you ever had to worry about that before?" Severus asked dryly.

Petunia just stared at him for a moment before picking up empty plates, "Well," she started, " You two have a long day ahead of you, and it's near your bed-time miss," She addressed the children who all gave varying pitches of disappointed whines. Petunia pursed her lips together and looked at the kids with an eyebrow raised, as if asking for them to complain. They collectively sighed and began to trudge toward hallway. "I'll be up in a half hour to tuck you all in," Petunia announced, though Harry and Dudley immediately began to protest.

Severus chuckled and moved around the table to tell the kids good-bye. The man begrudgingly accepted hugs from them, much to the chagrin of Petunia and Vernon. When their heavy footsteps were heard on the stairs, Severus sat back down tiredly and rubbed his face.

"What?" Vernon asked gruffly.

"How do you two stand it?" he asked tiredly, "You have to be nice to them all the time, you can't intimidate them…" he shuddered.

Petunia rolled her eyes and Vernon actually began to laugh. "Oh yes, I remember your past-time with Takashi," Petunia drawled, clearly unimpressed. "I've been meaning to ask," Petunia paused to make sure she had Severus's attention, "Were you the one who suggested intimidating children?"

Severus began to laugh genuinely while shaking his head, "Believe it or not, the Scarecrow suggested it first. Those lessons have come in handy though."

Petunia rolled her eyes while her husband just laughed harder, "You don't say?" Vernon asked, "I suppose you got all those fr-ee spirited kids under control," Vernon caught himself from saying freaks, which did not slip past Severus.

"Yes I do have all those little demons under control. I really don't know how you two do this though," Severus gestured around them. "But whatever you're doing, you've done a very good job at it," Severus sighed and stood up slowly.

Petunia looked at him anxiously, she was wringing her hands, "Do-do you think Lily would be proud of me? Do you think she'd think I was doing a good job of raising him?"

Severus nodded and began to meander into the living room. However, that just confirmed the fears at the back of Kakashi's mind. Lily was dead, but how, and for how long? Petunia said she raised Harry, but what exactly did that mean? From a baby, from a toddler, from a young child? NO! He couldn't think about that, he had to focus on them, on anything but the fact that Lily was dead.

"Do you think he would have been proud?" Vernon asked in a surprisingly thoughtful tone. Severus was looking a picture on the fireplace mantel, but from this angle Kakashi couldn't see it quite right. The wizard was wearing a sad but thoughtful look.

When he turned around, Severus's expression was neutral again and he nodded slowly, "Yes, I believe he would have been proud, happy even." Severus reentered the dining room and leaned against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. "I'm surprised I'm saying this, but you two are good parents. You care for Harry like he was your own, you don't show favoritism toward any which one of them…" Severus closed his eyes and shook his head, "Why do you doubt yourselves now?"

Petunia looked to her husband before addressing Severus's question. "He never showed any signs, we thought he was nor- I mean…" Petunia grimaced at the glare Severus shot her, "We didn't think he was magical, okay," she spat out before calming, "Up until he got that letter; then there was that Boa Constrictor that escaped from the zoo when we visited," Petunia rubbed her face tiredly. "You know I'm uncomfortable with all that magic, and what if he gets killed by it like Lily?"

Severus flinched. Vernon seemed to be taking a backseat in this conversation, which seemed alright with him.

Severus licked his lips before he responded, "Lily died because of a prophecy," Kakashi gasped along with the married couple. A prophecy?

"Prophecy?" Vernon asked gruffly, his voice saturated in disbelief.

"Yes a prophecy and I've gone over it a thousand times. No matter what, Lily was going to die because of it. She had to," Severus closed his eyes tightly as if to reign in his emotions.

"What kind of prophecy says my baby sister had to die?" Petunia asked sharply, going so far as to jab Severus in the chest with one manicured nail.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born as the seventh month dies, born to parents who had thrice defied him…" Severus trailed off and sighed, "That's what Voldemort heard, but there was more. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord has a power the Dark Lord knows not, and neither can die while the other still lives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born as the seventh month dies." Severus finished reciting.

"What the hell does that mean?" Vernon grumbled, scratching his head while Petunia looked pale.

"Neither can die while the other lives…does that mean the bastard that killed my baby sister is still alive?" Petunia asked, her voice high and sharp with fear. The more concerning question for Kakashi was why the _hell_ Lily had to die?"

Severus nodded his head slowly; his right hand gravitated unconsciously toward his left arm. Petunia looked like she was about to have a panic attack, "Don't worry, you'll be safe here until Harry turns seventeen. There's a blood ward around your house." This calmed the blonde down slightly, but with her family's immediate safety no longer a concern, she had other questions.

"That prophecy said nothing about Lily dying."

"There were only two couples who had defied the dark lord three times and had a child on July 31 of the year this prophecy came out. A pureblood couple and a mixed-blood couple. Little known fact, Voldemort was a half-blood; he aligned himself with Harry because he'd seen he himself in Harry's parentage." Petunia looked ready to protest, but Severus hurried on, "The power Harry had that Voldemort didn't know about was a love. His mother sacrificing herself to protect him – that love – was what caused the killing curse to reflect off of Harry and back at Voldemort.

"As for the rest of the prophecy, I have my theories, but I'm afraid I don't know for certain. Only the Headmaster knows but he's tight lipped about it. However, what I do know is that Lily sacrificing herself in an attempt to protect Harry was part of the prophecy," Severus sighed in resignation.

"So if she hadn't married that freak?"

"If she hadn't married Potter it would have ended the same. There were rumors already floating about that she had broken up with James and was dating a muggle"

"But what about that thrice defied bullshit?" Vernon piped in.

"Hatake did defy him three times, just not in a way that Voldemort knew about, but he would have found out eventually!" Severus snapped. It was clear he had gone over all the possibilities. "It would have been even more symbolic for him!" Sever hissed as he threw his hand up into the air, "A witch seducing a muggle and having a child. That was the exact situation Voldemort had been born to. He wouldn't have cared half so much about Lily's blood status because in the end, she was witch and Hatake was a muggle." Severus covered his face in his hands.

Kakashi focused on what Severus was saying rather than understanding the implications. It was probably a mistake, or a false assumption. That had to be it. Maybe Severus was being hypothetical?

"I've thought about it a hundred different ways. What if Lily didn't marry Potter after Hatake died? It would have taken longer, more muggles would have been killed, but eventually Lily would have been tracked down and killed to get to Harry. And if she had been staying with you…" Severus trialed off and Petunia sat down shakily.

"What if Hatake hadn't died?" Severus asked rhetorically, "eventually Voldemort would have found out about his involvement in Longfellow's… and then they would have both died. Sure Hatake would have likely gotten a few fatal hits, in but the fucking prophecy!" Severus managed to keep his voice down to an enraged hiss, but his frustration with it all was evident.

"It didn't matter who told him the prophecy, Voldemort would have heard it one way or another. If not one of his own who had only heard a portion, then he'd have heard if from his Order spy, who would have heard the full version. And who knows how much worse off things would have been if Voldemort heard the full thing. From the moment that prophecy was made, Lily's life was forfeit," Severus ended weakly, shaking his head back and forth.

"I-I don't understand, you said Takashi defied that Voldemort?" Vernon asked shakily.

"He's a muggle, Vernon but…I-I" Severus shook his head, "I can't explain…"

They were quite now. They didn't look like they were going to continue talking.

The world felt like it was spinning. Kakashi backed away from the house, halfway through the yard his henge began to waver, but he made to the night shadow of the tree before it fell completely.

Lily was destined to die…Harry was his child…but that had to be a mistake, there was no way that could be, no proof! He couldn't believe it, he wouldn't believe it. Kakashi clutched at his head in a vain attempt to keep the world from spinning, to keep the ground from opening up under him. Gods this was a worse revelation than "Uchiha Mandara" being Obito!

Was what Severus said, true, was there really no way around Lily's death? Gods damn it! Why did there have to be a prophecy here too! Fucking prophecies! The sucked for everyone involved in them!

Kakashi jumped when he felt someone touch his arm. He looked to his attacker and found Harry…he was staring at him. Now that he was paying attention, Kakashi could faintly hear Dudley whispering from an open window for Harry to get back and leave the weird hobo alone.

"Were you the squirrel?" Harry asked. "The shimmering squirrel?" Kakashi jerked back against the tree. The kid could see the shimmer in his henge, but only people with chakra…

"Harry get away from that weirdo!" Dudley finally yelled which alerted the adults' attention. The kid must have snuck out of his window if they hadn't been alerted before. The kid was trying to talk to him again…his son was trying to talk to him. His son.

Kakashi quickly ran through the signs for the shunshin. He only managed to go a few blocks before he fell to his knees and retched. He had a son…this whole time he had had a son.

* * *

_**A suivre**_

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_**A/N:**  
_Yep, Kakashi's Harry's biological father, y'all guessed it! That was my plan from the moment I started writing this, and it took only two-hundred pages to get there! Anyways... Not happy about the OC? Not happy that Kakashi ran away again? Sorry, but I'm not going to give anything away but there is a another chapter being written. I'm also sorry if I inaccurately described what you're supposed to do for someone having a heart attack, I am AED and CPR certified but I've never used it.

As far as Heather goes, in my opinion if the Dursleys weren't so focused on being "normal" they probably would have had another child and would not have spoiled Dudley. Since they wouldn't be spoiling Dudley in some bizarre attempt to deny Harry's existence, then they would have been able to afford a third child. I mean, they got Dudley a fucking computer, in the nineties, when he turned eleven - along with the thirty something other presents! They were loaded, and they spent it all on Dudley. Though that's just my opinion, please ignore it. Also, since James wasn't Harry's father, Sirius was never the godfather, Severus was. I have solid reasoning for how this works out but since this is from Kakashi's perspective I can't tell it to you right now.

Lastly, yes Kakashi was very passive in this chapter, but again, and I've stressed this many times in his internal dialogue, he is not to be seen. That was his mission objective, though he kind of blew that at the end. Also, after the bomb dropped and he learned Lily died, it was just easier for him to hang on to his sanity by listening to what they said rather than think about her being dead. Also, I have a hard time writing dialogue for children, so I'm sorry if that was weird. Again, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed ~ with love, Depressedchildren


	11. Chapter 10: Reminisces and Confrontation

**Disclaimer:** I do not own either works, they belong to their respective creators, publishers, and companies. My only profit from writing this is experience in writing and editing.

**_Full Summary:_ **The Elemental Lands stayed out of the rest of the world's problems, but they still kept tabs lest those problems end up affecting their hidden world. At age 18 Kakashi was sent on a mission to analyze a potential threat in Magical London. Twelve years have passed since he returned the Elemental Lands and with the War over he has time to think about his stay in "London, England." It is finally time for him to gain some closure.

**Warnings for Chapter:** swearing, strongly implied adult themes, fluffiness, OC, mental instability, parks, and train stations

**A/N: **Yep, finally updated. Sorry for the wait, I just had such a hard time writing this. I knew what I wanted to do, but the dialogue escaped me and it was hard shifting from the present to the past in this chapter. I'm satisfied with what I've written, though I wish I was better at writing children's dialogue, I hope it isn't too...strange. Anyways, thank you to everyone that has reviewed, put this fanfic on alert, or even put this on your favorites ~ With love, Depressedchildren

Key: words = present _words_= memories

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**_Chapitre dix: Au Revoir_**

* * *

People blurred past him, they came in waves like a sea made of commuters and voyagers. Occasionally, someone's luggage trolley would clip him in the leg, and the owner of the trolley would apologize profusely, but Kakashi couldn't feel it, not really. He'd get pitying looks when he didn't respond.

To these people he looked like a lost old man in a train station, none could see under his henge. But Harry would see under it when he came…his son would see the shimmer.

Most of the time people didn't give him a second look, but that kid would…his son would. To everyone else he was just a haggard bent over old man, likely lost in difficult memories. Or perhaps they thought he was overwhelmed by the bustling crowds and loud noises? Though Kakashi supposed he was all those things. He felt as ancient as his henge appeared, he felt overwhelmed with everything around him, and he was lost in difficult memories.

He was waiting for when that pinprick of chakra would appear in the vicinity. He hadn't felt it last night; he had no reason to search for chakra because there shouldn't have been any. But now he knew better. Harry had chakra because he was Kakashi's son. Special Jounin and former ANBU captain, Hatake Kakashi, the absentee father of a wizard-child.

He had a son. Lily was dead. He had a son, but Lily was dead. Lily was dead and had had Kakashi's child. He had a child…he had a child… Variations of this thought repeated over and over in his mind. It was almost easier to passively observe than give into his thoughts.

He saw families pushing trollies past him, cages of owls and trunks with the Hogwarts insignia signified they were heading to the Hogwarts Express. They didn't pay an old man much mind, perhaps a quick glance but nothing else. These kids were going to be his son's classmates. He watched one family of three, clearly muggle, looking for platform nine and three-quarters. He remembered Severus talking with relish about going to Hogwarts for the first time…

The brick divider hid the most magical sight, according to Severus. It was like entering a new world, a world where bruises stung less and Severus's best friend Lily held onto his hand in a mixture of nervousness and fear. Then the sleek, red Hogwarts Express was an object that would whisk Severus away from the abuse of his father and his mother's constant fear. Severus was much more eloquent in his description; the wizard gave the platform so much detail. It sounded so lovely when the wizard had talked about it… Kakashi had half a mind to go through that divider if it wouldn't be suspicious.

Boarding the Hogwarts Express probably wouldn't be near as wonderful to Harry as it was to Severus because Harry wasn't abused; no, Kakashi's son was loved by the Dursleys. That made Kakashi happy – at least he thought it did? He wasn't sure because he still felt numb. He couldn't quite remember what happened after he used the shunshin technique to get away from the child...his child. He might have slept in a tree, or alley, or maybe a playground? He couldn't remember, but he found a twig and some leaves in his hair, though that could have been from when he was spying on the Dursleys from their tree.

The world still spun around him, like it had last night. It tilted at random moments too, so that he felt a sensation akin to vertigo. Perhaps it was because he hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours, or perhaps he was still in shock… Kakashi didn't feel hungry, he felt numb and lost. Tsunade wouldn't be very happy with him, he was worse off mentally than when he came here. Hell, he hadn't been quite so out of when he went on that rampage during the Fourth Shinobi War. He wondered why he was so much worse now…? Sure, he wasn't killing anyone, or rather any reanimated corpses and man-eating humanoid plants, but… the world tilted again, he staggered this time.

That family of three started, the bushy haired girl looked up at Kakashi concerned. Her slightly large front teeth bit into her bottom lip. "Umm…sir?" her father asked.

"Do you need us to call someone for you?" the mother asked, reaching out for him.

"I'm sorry, I had a flashback from the war," he gave a tired smile, surprised his voice sounded so stable when he felt so unstable. The woman's hand was still reaching out toward him. He had best say something before she discovered the old man before her wasn't real.

"You'll find platform nine and three-quarters just over there," Kakashi pointed to the brick divider with what appeared to be a gnarled, liver-spotted hand. The family looked at him shocked, but he gave them a knowing smile and began to shuffle toward a bench. Old men were a good disguise to wear if one wanted to stand inconspicuously in the middle of a crowd. People assumed old, decrepit men, like his henge, were just lost. The family of three gave him one last worried look but headed toward the brick divider.

That bushy haired girl would likely be Harry's classmate, he wondered if they'd be friends. Did his son have friends already? Muggle friends? What were they like, he wondered. Kakashi hadn't had friends when he was a child, he hoped Harry had friends.

Kakashi's head was spinning again.

How could he have a child? They had always used protection, but no…no he was remembering something, something he had tried to forget. It was coming back to him. It had been Halloween, the day before he was due to leave…

_Severus looked down at his cup of tea; in fact, he was glaring at the pale, steaming liquid. Kakashi sighed and looked around the dismal place. Apparently this was where Severus grew up. It was dark and poorly taken care of, likely because Severus just moved back into it. The Jounin had offered to help the wizard with the move, but Severus had turned down his offer. However, if Kakashi thought about it, he wouldn't want anyone to help him clean, let alone move back in to, his childhood home. Kakashi hadn't stepped foot back in that building since his father committed Seppuku. It was a haunted place for him now._

_Severus finally looked up from his tea. "Let's go for a walk," he stood up tiredly and motioned Kakashi to follow him. Kakashi sighed and picked up the abandoned letter from the table. _

_Hokage-sama sent Pakkun with a message telling him he was to leave immediately. His expertise was needed, and thus far Voldemort did not seem to be a threat to the Elemental Lands. Hokage-sama also sent a perfect forgery of a Japanese military summons, with a flight ticket. The forgery of a death notice for Takashi Hatake was already made up and would be sent sometime in November, perhaps even early December. The death notice would actually be sent through the postal system; whereas, his mission summons had no post markings under the pretense it was hand delivered by a fellow operative who would fill "Takashi" in on his mission. Special operations were special operations for a reason and couldn't have mission objectives or summons traveling by mail. _

_He followed the dour wizard out of the decrepit townhouse and quickly matched his stride. They both had their hands stuffed inside their respective coat pockets. The autumn chill in the air was refreshing but also too cold for Kakashi's tastes. He was almost happy to not have to go through another winter here, but then, when he left he was never to come back to London. That meant he would never get to see Lily again…_

_The silence between them was heavy yet not unbearable. Severus was in deep thought, perhaps even a little perturbed, and Kakashi had no intention to bother his friend for he too was thinking. _

_There was a term, an action, every ninja knew: killing one's heart. It was painful but inescapable in their careers. Eventually, every shinobi and kunoichi would be faced with a mission or obstacle that forced him or her to forsake something precious. Perhaps it was the order to slaughter all bystanders, be they innocent or not. Perhaps the order was to kill the family of an infamous nuke-nin, everyone down to the last child. Or it could be a choice on the battlefield between morals and saving lives. _

_Kakashi closed his eyes tiredly and sighed. He imagined the wizard turned to look at him, if the slight rustle of fabric was any indication. Severus was prone to wearing high-collared clothes, and turning his head would have made such a noise. _

_Leaving Lily would be a killing the heart action. He loved her, without out a doubt, both romantically and as a friend. He considered her his best friend, her and Severus both—as strange as that could seem. Lily and Severus were civilians and magical beings, he was a shinobi; yet without any hesitation he could call them his best friends. Lily Evans, Severus Snape… he would be leaving the only people he genuinely could trust with who he really was, the only people he felt no real shame in confiding to. _

_Lily didn't judge him, and Severus understood, though the Jounin was always sure to get a snide remark courtesy of the wizard. Lily comforted him and Severus provided sound advice with a snarky delivery. He could talk freely about topics he genuinely loved, such as books, with both of the magical beings. He felt at peace here, he felt comfortable and safe for possibly the first time in his life. Hell, he enjoyed living now, when before it was always the mission. After his team died there was no other point to life but completing his objectives. But here, in London with Lily and Severus, he could look forward to things. _

_He looked forward to their conversations and walks around the village. He looked forward to being greeted by an excitable Crow and a smiling Lily. He looked forward to the honest talks he and Severus would get into. Kakashi looked forward to sharing stories with the wizard and the days when they exuded KI toward small children. He looked forward to being reprimanded by Lily for scaring children, and he looked forward to when she'd force him to dance with her. There was so much worth living for here, but he couldn't stay here – he couldn't._

_He would kill his heart, his emotions, his selfish want to stay with his first true and best friends; because Kakashi was a loyal Jounin, and ANBU operative. Because Naruto was in Konoha and Kakashi had a duty to Minato-sensei and Kushina-san that he had been failing for six years already. He had to leave because…because he would just be endangering Lily the longer he stayed here._

_He had duties. Love, friendship…they had to be sacrificed for the good of his village. Even friendship among comrades must be forsaken if the comrade goes rogue. Of course…one could hope, one could always hope, for reformation of the rogue friend. Many said it was a fool's hope to reform a nuke-nin…he too was guilty of calling Jiraiya such for his futile attempts with Orochimaru. But he had never had a friend betray him, how would he know? Every dear friend he had had died…_

_Yet Kakashi would be the one betraying his friends, betraying Lily and Severus. They would be the ones told he died, and they would believe it. But…perhaps that won't be a lie for long. ANBU was a dangerous profession, and his "expertise" was needed, that meant deadly situations. Knowing how accident prone, or rather chakra exhaustion prone, Kakashi was…death really could not be that far off for him. _

_Kakashi was pulled from his thoughts by Severus scoffing. Kakashi blinked a few times and realized a pole of a swing set was right in front of him, and he had already started to reflexively walk up it through wall-walking. The wizard was looking at him, his beady eyes practically shimmering with amusement. _

"_In auto-pilot?" the wizard stated more than asked. Severus had an eyebrow raised in a mockery of a question as he leaned himself against the opposite set of swing set poles. Kakashi chuckled weakly but his expression fell quickly. They were both men trained to be stoic; there was no reason to force emotions or reactions that were not real, at least not real anymore. _

"_Yes," Kakashi got back to the ground, not that he had gone more than two steps up the pole, and leaned against swing set. There was no one out, the chill wind and overcast clouds, threatening to spill icy rain, warded away most children. They were alone and thus free to talk. _

_Severus had his arms folded over his chest; his expression was neutral yet had a hard edge to it. Kakashi mimicked him. A mixture of amusement and irritation flashed in Severus's eyes, but otherwise he had no reaction. _

"_I was ready to hex you when you handed me the letter," he stated calmly, he turned his head to inspect a car driving past the playground. _

"_It would have been understand—"_

"_I'm not done, Hatake," Severus cut in, his voice cold and hard. The wizard was annoyed, angry, perhaps even hurt, though Kakashi wasn't sure. The wizard had gotten very good at hiding emotions, especially the emotions that revealed weaknesses. One never wanted their opponent to think they were angry or hurt because of them; especially when one was in their enemies fold such as Severus was with the Death Eaters._

_Severus continued on, "I still think I should hex you, hex you out of commission," Kakashi tensed out of reflex, even though he knew the wizard would not do what he was saying. "This is going to hurt her," the wizard continued, his hands clenched a little tighter to his crossed arms, and his jaw tightened. Kakashi couldn't look the other man in the eye. Kakashi knew this too, he knew it the moment he found himself kissing Lily for the first time. _

"_You damn bastard…" Severus growled under his breath. "She fell in love with you, and you're going to leave her and make her think you're dead." Kakashi could not stop himself from flinching. "And I bet you knew this from the moment you started dating, right?" it wasn't a question, just a disgusted yet resigned statement. _

"_Yes…"_

"_I really should hex you."_

"_I know…" Kakashi sighed and slide his back down the pole to sit down in the grass. "The only solace I have is that I'll likely die soon anyways."_

_Severus looked down at him sharply, but did not ask the question he clearly wanted answered. Kakashi had his arms resting on his knees as he brought his hands together and looked down at the grass. "I'm a ninja, an assassin," Kakashi sighed, "I highly doubt I'll live to thirty. Who knows, perhaps I really will die on this mission, or perhaps the one after that, or the one after that. Gods knowhow frequently I end up in the hospital near death," Kakashi gave the other man a wry smile. _

_Severus glared at him for a few moments longer before sucking up his dignity and sitting down at the swing. He curled his spidery hands around the metal chains and glared at the grass. "Tell me why again you can't just let her in on your secret?"_

"_I would be ordered to kill her or another operative would do it if I couldn't," Severus gave Kakashi a pointed look so the Jounin went on to answer what he knew the wizard was wondering. "The only other way to get around that would be putting a seal on her like you but then she will never be able to visit me or get news about me. Would you want her to go through that, wondering each day if I died while on a mission?"_

_Severus narrowed his gaze at Kakashi further. Kakashi sighed and shook his head, "Then, if by some miracle I could convince Hokage-sama to let her come to the Elemental Lands, she would never be allowed to leave. She would know too much about our village to be let out of it and back into the larger world. I would never want to take her from you or her family. Lily would likely come to resent me for taking her away from everyone she loves. _

"_There's also the possibility that I could die on the very next mission I take and then she will be stuck in the Elemental Lands for the rest of her life with no one she knows. She wouldn't be able to contact any of you, and again, she would never be allowed to leave. There's also the possibility another Ninja World War will break out. She'd likely die in attacks on the village. _

"_Actually," Kakashi paused, a bitter smile distorting his features, "It wouldn't even have to be a war or attack on the village. Lily could be murdered by my enemies because very little about personal matters remains a secret in a ninja village, and our relationship would be found out one way or another. She would be killed just so my enemies could hurt me, and they could do it when I was out on a mission. And none of you would know."_

_Severus shut his eyes heavily, he was grimacing. Kakashi tilted his head back and looked up at the gray sky. _

"_And if I ignored my summons…"Kakashi's throat was tight and his stomach was twisting. Such treasonous, horrid language, but Severus would be wondering this as well. The wizard looked at everything, every angle. "I would be hunted down as a traitor, I would be killed, likely in the middle of the night and she would learn the truth and be killed as well. If it isn't my countrymen who hunt me, it will, again, be my enemies. Would you rather Lily go through the horror of seeing me die, or just hearing that I die? If you want to call me an egotist, think of someone killing Lily brutally in front of you and imagine making Lily feel the same grief."_

_Kakashi took a deep breath, done at last. Severus had his head tilted back now, his expression was stony. "You might have to remind me that a few more times before you leave," Severus commented, likely it was half meant as a joke. The wizard sighed and tipped his head forward, "Why couldn't you have not dated her?"_

"_I've been asking myself that question every five seconds," that was a slight exaggeration, but he did wonder over and over why. Why?_

"_Why?" Severus asked, echoing his thoughts. Kakashi gave another bitter smile and immediately responded with what he told himself over and over._

"_I'm a selfish bastard who wanted to experience genuine love before I die."_

"_Damn it, Scarecrow," the wizard's voice was soft, resigned, and reminded Kakashi of a Nara. _

"_I still won't hold it against you if you hex me." _

_Severus scoffed and eyed Kakashi with wry amusement, "I'm still half-tempted to." They both chuckled weakly, perhaps at the morbidity of the situation. _

_They quieted quickly and sat there for a few moments. The wind picked up a little. Kakashi sighed and stood up slowly. He brushed away any grass, "I'm already late, I should head back and give the bad news." Severus hummed as he stood. In a way, it reminded him of Uchiha Itachi who hummed in response to almost everything. He wondered if the boy had made ANBU yet, he was on a fast track toward it since becoming a Chuunin. _

"_Mr. Snape…" the wizard looked over at him, "I know Lily can take care of herself, and protect herself…" Kakashi shut his eyes tightly against the sting building up and tilted his head backwards, "But would you…would you be there for her. Would you help her when the death notice comes?"_

_Kakashi swallowed thickly as he heard footsteps approach him. "It's Lily, did you have to ask?" Kakashi smiled slightly and tilted his head forward again before opening his eyes. _

"_Just checking." _

_Severus returned his smile and they stood there, almost awkwardly. If Severus were really a rival like Gai, they'd be hugging, but no, Severus was too much like Kakashi for that. Instead, they ended up grabbing each other's right arm just below the elbow. _

"_I'll see you tomorrow then," Kakashi stated softly as he pulled back and quickly used the shunshin technique to get nearer to his and Lily's flat. _

_He moved quickly past the lobby, barely remembering to acknowledge the building manager who waved. He moved up the stairs just as swiftly, his anxiety and dread making him move quickly for any normal human, but he restrained himself from moving as fast as a ninja would. _

_Crow was barking at the door by the time he fitted the key in, likely she could smell him, and perhaps she could even smell his anxiety. Lily was half way across the living room by the time he came in. She looked relieved but when he didn't smile she became worried. _

"'_Kashi?"_

_Kakashi grimaced. He had slipped off his shoes and coat by the door, and was now petting the calm puppy Crow. Lily crouched down next to him and tilted his chin so he'd look at her. _

"'_Kashi, what's wrong, why were you late?" Kakashi sighed and tilted his head forward to touch foreheads with Lily. She was frowning, worry pinching her brow. _

"_I'm late because I was visiting Mr. Snape."_

"_I-Is something wrong?" Kakashi stood up slowly with a grim smile on his face._

"_Mah, Lily, nothing's wrong with Severus," Kakashi stated calmly as he moved toward the kitchen where dinner was likely cooling down. He could smell it from the hallway; it was steamed vegetables, rice, and fish. _

_As Kakashi was washing his hands, he looked over his shoulder and gave Lily a genuine smile, "He wanted me to tell you he received his Masters and would be applying for a position at your Alma Mater."_

"_Really? That's great," her enthusiasm was distracted, she was not buying his diversion tactics. They sat down, the atmosphere slightly strained. _

_Kakashi looked at the spread and then at the two glasses in front of him. He tilted his head to the side as he examined the orange, almost thick, liquid in one of the glasses. It didn't smell like orange juice, in fact…it smelled like squash. Lily caught his gaze and she smiled slightly, still obviously concerned._

"_That's pumpkin juice," Kakashi raised both eyebrows and picked up the glass to take a tentative sip while Lily continued speaking, "I had some left over from the Halloween party."_

_Kakashi hummed and set his glass back down. The pumpkin juice was different but not bad. It was likely a wizarding world beverage that she wanted to share with her class for Halloween. It was harmless, no one would think anything of it. _

"_How did the party go?" he asked after murmuring itadakimasu. Lily pursed her lips, not happy with him. He sighed again, "I promise to talk about it later, just…" he gave a weak smile and she relented, still not pleased. "I promise," Kakashi repeated firmly. _

_Lily sighed but gave him a small smile and jumped into what her class did that day. "So you know I set up a fake cauldron in my classroom and put some dry ice in it?" Kakashi nodded as he chewed on some fish. "The kids loved it and loved the witch's robe I dressed up in. I then explained witches were my favorite magical beings and asked them what their favorites were. _

"_For their English lesson I had them write a happy story from that beings perspective, and then read a few stories as well…" Lily hummed, "Math was fractions, so they had to figure out the fractions for the "potions" they were assigned." Lily paused again and smiled more brightly, "I think they enjoyed it."_

"_I wouldn't doubt that," Kakashi replied chuckling. He could almost forget this would be the last meal he would have with her. "Did anything exceptionally hilarious happen today?"_

_Lily mock glared at him before jumping into a tale that involved Rose and David, who were constantly at each other's throats, and some glue. David learned a valuable lesson, females of any age could be terrifying. So that was a headache that Lily could have dealt without, but she still found it funny. She suspected the two of them would end up dating during their time in secondary school. She also related "the most adorable story" one of her students wrote about a troll who made best friends with a nymph. According to Lily, the student who wrote this piece could become a novelist with time. _

_She loved teaching ten-year-olds, though it had been a difficult start to the year with Harold's heart attack. Oh…Kakashi grimaced to himself. Harold was still not doing too good. They visited him on the weekends; he was pale but his condition hadn't worsened. Gods, Lily was afraid of losing her father and very soon she would lose Kakashi. _

_Kakashi held it together until they finished eating, and he began to clear the dishes away. Lily was about to help, but he gestured for her to sit down. He set the dishes in the sink before he reached into his pocket to retrieve the opened envelope. Lily looked confused before her confusion turned to concern. _

"_What is it 'Kashi? You're acting like it's a death sentence," Kakashi was not able to keep from flinching. She gasped and snatched it out of his hand, already examining the envelope, "There's no return address?"_

_Kakashi turned to the sink and began washing the dishes. His voice was measured, and controlled, "I stopped by during my lunch break to walk Crow when the building manager told me "an oriental man wearing a suit" delivered a letter in person to her for me."_

_Lily was staring blankly at the envelope before she shakily took out the letter. The flight ticket fell onto her lap and she looked down in surprise. Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. _

"_This….this ticket is for tomorrow…?"_

_Kakashi nodded slowly as he scrubbed at their plates. _

"_You're leaving tomorrow, for how long?" she was now trying to read the letter but she made a noise of frustration at the back of her throat. "What the hell does this even say!?" She stood up slamming the letter on the table as she began to pace. Her breath was coming quickly, and she was beginning to panic. It was understandable, what with the stress of her father's condition, and then receiving this news…. _

_Kakashi forced his guilt down as he began on the pots and pans Lily used to cook their dinner. "It says that my skills are required. An agent will inform me of further details at the airport. I am to leave tomorrow for the Okinawa Region. The duration of my mission is undetermined, but risk is fairly low."_

_Sily's pacing slowed slightly and she was breathing slower. She looked back at the letter. Likely she'll do a translation spell later, like Severus had when Kakashi handed him the letter. _

"_I'm guessing it will be an undercover operation. Likely I'll have to infiltrate a Yakuza group," Lily was much more relaxed. She was blissfully ignorant to the fact that yakuza was considered the most vicious kind of crime syndicate. She likely feared the American gangsters, or perhaps the Russian mafia, more than the Japanese syndicates. Granted no one was as bad as a nuke-nin organization. He hated infiltrating those._

"_Oh…" she was still panicking, but not near as bad as before. "So just like that, you have to leave?" she wasn't angry, not by any means, but she was certainly disheartened. Her voice was small and she focused her gaze on the ground. Lily wasn't supposed to look like that, she was supposed to be confident and smiling – usually mischievously._

_Kakashi sighed as he finished drying off his hands. The dishes were done, Lily likely already took Crow on a walk. She'd have to be taken out again at some point…_

"_Lily, I told Vernon early on that I was still on active duty. My government can call on me whenever they need me," he walked closer to her and reached out for her. He cupped her cheek and she leaned against his hand with her eyes closed. "Granted, I didn't think or hope it would be so soon."_

"_Why can't someone else go?"_

"_They need my skills Lily," he dipped his head forward and set his forehead against hers, "For the first time in my life, I don't want to go on a mission. For once, I am the one who has to leave the person I love behind…" he stopped breathing, he had said it, the very thing they both knew but he was too scared to say. Perhaps he said it because he'd be dead to her soon. Lily was smiling at him, tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. _

"_About damn time you said that," she gave a weak laugh and began to kiss him, like she'd never be able to again. Kakashi returned the fervor because he knew he'd never get another chance to. _

_Later, as Kakashi was disposing of the spent condom he paused and blinked a few times. He must have paused too long, for he felt Lily roll onto her side and press herself against his back. One arm draped itself around his middle as she peered over her shoulder. "What's wrong?"_

"_The condom broke…" Kakashi's voice was filled with disbelief and even a little panic. What if? What if? But what were the chances; it was the only time this had happened. "I could have sworn I put it on correctly…" he murmured. He felt Lily kiss his shoulder, she was frowning slightly, but she wasn't nearly as worried as he was. _

"_Should I be concerned?" She asked as Kakashi finally disposed of the ruined plastic and rolled back onto his back. She rested her head on his chest with her hands folded under her chin. _

"_Lily, I don't want you to get disowned, and what if…." He couldn't finish the sentence, what if he died. Lily glared at him slightly._

"_First, the letter said low risk, second, don't be so pessimistic!" her expression relaxed and she kissed him on the lips before fully laying her head on his chest, one arm wrapped around his middle again. He wrapped his own arms around her. "Third, this is the only time this has happened, we've been safe every time before. Which makes me wonder if I should be checked?" _

_Kakashi blinked a few times before he caught on and began to shake his head, "I'm clean. I'm tested regularly and always use protection," Lily nodded satisfied and kissed Kakashi again. _

"_Good, I didn't think I needed to worry about but you sounded so panicked," Kakashi gave her a deadpan look. Lily getting pregnant was something to panic about. Firstly, no chakra is allowed to exist outside of the Elemental Lands unless on a mission. All children with chakra were exterminated lest their hidden world's secrets be revealed to the rest of the world and their Lands be exploited. Secondly, Harold was very clear about no bastards in the family, a ring on her finger or she was out of the family. Thirdly, Harold was in a weak condition, the shock and anger might kill him. _

"_So where was I, four?" Kakashi nodded dumbly, "Four, my cycle would have to be very off, and it hasn't been off since I was twelve." Okay, now he could understand why she wasn't panicking, though sperm did live for about three days after the ejaculation, so if she did ovulate in that time period, she could become pregnant. But again, Lily said her cycle would have to be very off. _

"_Lastly," she looked a little nervous now, almost self-conscious, "If I happen to be pregnant…" she licked her lips, and began to speak slowly, as if each word could trigger a bomb, "Depending on when you get back from your mission…" she blushed brightly and rolled onto her back away from him, "We could get married before anyone notices and say it was born early?"_

_Kakashi felt every muscle in his body tense. Marriage…he could see Minato-sensei and Kushina-san in their wedding attire looking at each other so happy. To be legally each other's…to have that same happiness… "If I were to marry anyone…" Kakashi found himself whispering, he wanted to stop the words but they were already spilling out of him, "It would be you…"_

_Lily turned to him, smiling so brightly, and kissed him once more. It was gentle, loving, and Kakashi returned it with all the same emotions behind it. Damn it! Why did he have to leave? _

_Lily smiled tiredly at him, kissed him on the nose, and turned onto her side. Kakashi moved with her and placed a hand on her stomach, her own hand laid over his. Perhaps she thought he was hoping they'd have a baby and that was why he had placed his hand there. In actuality, he was waiting to feel the spark of chakra light up inside of her. When, if, that did happen, he would send a pulse of chakra through her to kill it. No chakra could exist outside of the elemental lands, and if that meant aborting the only child he could ever want – a child that was his and Lily's – then so be it. _

_If only he could stay in London, even if for just a few days more. If he had a few more days, then he would know for certain whether Lily was pregnant or not, but since he was leaving in the morning… He would push away that fear. The likelihood of Lily becoming pregnant was slim, very slim, and that thought eased his mind. _

There were only three options before him, and thanks to that damn prophecy on Harry's head, on his son's head, it would be preferable he went with the first option. It was the same option he was ready to act on that dreadful night he waited to feel the spark of chakra bloom inside of Lily. Harry hadn't come into being that night, but in the proceeding days he must have. Damn it!

There were only three options available to him, but already, Kakashi knew he wouldn't be able to kill Harry. Though, that was the most preferable option available. No chakra could exist outside of the Elemental Lands; it was the unspoken law everyone had agreed on since the Great Sage taught their ancestors about chakra.

No chakra could exist outside of the Elemental Lands.

It was like a mantra, a mantra he had repeated over and over that night almost twelve years ago, and even now – as he waited in the train station – those words repeated themselves. No chakra could exist outside of the Elemental Lands; it was too much of a security risk.

He felt it then, the lone flickering source of chakra entered the range of his senses. He tensed but forced himself to relax. Soon Harry would be walking in front of him, and _he_ would see under the henge.

As Kakashi suspected, the Dursley family was a full hour early for boarding. Kakashi slipped farther away from main platform area. He watched as Petunia walked with Heather's hand in hers and Vernon's arm wrapped around her waist. Dudley and Harry were pushing Harry's trolley, and they were talking in excited tones. E HeHe

"Now where on Earth is that platform?" Vernon grumbled as he looked around, "Nine and three quarters, you said?" he addressed his nephew…Kakashi's son.

Harry nodded, and turned to address his uncle but paused. Likely he had caught the shimmer of Kakashi's disguise.

"What is it Harry?" Petunia asked in a concerned tone, but the boy just shook his head and gave his aunt a smile that crinkled up his eyes.

"Nothing, Aunt Petunia," Kakashi gave the boy a pointed look and began to move away, slowly.

"Petunia, are you sure you can't remember where this platform is," Vernon asked his wife, and she tensed, blushing. Kakashi paused in his walk. Though the boy was not following him, it was clear that Harry was still watching him. As Petunia stuttered out an excuse of not going onto the platform when Lily went to school, Kakashi made a beckoning motion before continuing to move. He was out of their sight now, but he could hear Harry blurt an excuse about needing to use the bathroom.

"Dudley, go with your cousin," Petunia suggested in a short tone.

"But I don't gotta," the boy whined at the same time Harry spoke up.

"I'm old enough to go by myself!"

"Vernon go with him—"

"As if I'd leave my wife and daughter alone here with just Dudley!" ever the suspicious one, Vernon believed his family would be kidnapped by slavers or something equally ridiculous, but plausible in such a busy place. Kakashi sighed and leaned himself against a platform divider as he waited with his arms over his chest.

"I can go by myself, I'll be quick, promise!" Harry persisted.

"Oh fine!" Petunia relented, "but no talking to strangers and we'll be around this area asking for directions."

Kakashi assumed the boy then raced off toward the general direction Kakashi had headed, so he pushed himself off of the divider and continued walking. He nodded to the boy who slowed down his run and followed him.

"You're the white haired guy from last night," it was a statement, not a question.

"Silver, but yes." His hair was silver, not gray or white, _silver_. Why was that so hard for people to understand? He was not some old man, well, his henge was an old man but he wasn't really one.

Harry looked slightly amused. He hummed and nodded his head slowly. The brat didn't believe him. Kakashi refrained from sighing as he ducked into a shadowed section of the train station. He began running through a sequence of hand signs that would make these chakra-less civilians glide their eyes over them as if they weren't really there. It also would bring up a privacy barrier to keep passersby from eavesdropping.

"You're my dad, aren't you?" Harry asked innocently as he looked up at Kakashi with Lily's eyes. He seemed certain but he wanted verification. The boy was also clearly intrigued by what Kakashi was doing. The only indication of the Jounin's shock at the sudden question was the slower pacing of his hand signs. Kakashi was glad he hadn't messed up the sequence in his shock, but then again, he was a kage level shinobi – shock should not throw him off.

With the secrecy barrier up around them, about four meters in diameter, Kakashi nodded slowly in affirmation. He couldn't say he was the boy's father aloud, at least not yet. The evidence was before him, the probability was there. He just couldn't say it aloud. He couldn't say Harry was his son.

"I thought so; you looked a lot like the picture…" Harry murmured, "and Uncle Severus wasn't too happy when I described how you left. I think Aunt Petunia thinks you're one of the bad wizards, but—" the boy stopped himself and took a deep breath and held it for a moment. He must have realized he was starting to ramble; Lily was often guilty of that. That or he realized he had talked about magic in front of a muggle.

Pushing aside those bittersweet memories of Lily, Kakashi did find himself intrigued. What picture was the boy referring to? Harry exhaled and gave a weak smile that could have been a grimace, "I'm guessing you didn't know about me, huh?"

Kakashi exhaled slowly and leaned against the wall. He dropped his henge and nodded again. "What picture are you talking about?"

"The one on the mantel," at Kakashi's blank look, the boy gave Kakashi a smile that crinkled up his eyes. Harry laughed sheepishly, "It's from Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's wedding. You and Mum were dancing," Harry fidgeted and looked down at the ground. "It's my favorite picture," his voice as soft, and a little sad. Perhaps because until recently, he believed both of his parents were…were dead. Oh Gods Lily…

He decided to focus on there being a picture of him…him and Lily dancing. Kakashi closed his eyes tiredly. He should go back to Privet Drive and destroy it. "I see…"

"Neh…" Harry was biting his bottom lip anxiously. "Is this what you really look like?" the boy's arm twitched at his side. Kakashi could guess the kid wanted to touch his gravity defying hair. The Jounin nodded. "I guess I know why my hair's always messy," the boy chuckled. The corner of Kakashi's mouth twitched upwards. If the kid grew his hair out a little more, it'd likely stick up like Kakashi's.

He crouched down to Harry's height, which made the kid smile slightly as he reached out his hand slowly, "Am I gonna go gray young too?" Kakashi felt a tick form under his eye as Harry touched the spikiest part of Kakashi's hair. He seemed fascinated that it just naturally stayed up that way without any hair products. Kakashi refrained from rolling his eyes, he couldn't remember how many times he had to tell Sakura he didn't do anything to his hair, but that was because she asked him almost constantly when she was a genin.

"Silver and my hair has always been this way. You're grandfather had silver hair, and his father before him, and_ his_ mother before him," Kakashi really should not be frustrated with the kid, many people who didn't know about his parentage assumed he was some old man or someone with premature graying hair.

Harry blinked a few times before frowning, "So why's my hair black?"

"My mother had black hair, just like you," Kakashi could still remember seeing the portrait of his parent's wedding day in his father's room. Kakashi wasn't sure how all the genetics worked out, but Harry likely got her hair, "Besides, your namesake had dark hair," or at least, Kakashi assumed Harry was named after Harold.

"Grandpa Harry had dark hair?" Kakashi nodded, "He died when I was really little and Aunt Petunia doesn't like us looking at the old pictures." Kakashi hummed and nodded again, that sounded like Petunia. She likely thought the kids would ruin the old family photos.

Harry pulled back and stared at Kakashi for a long moment. "If you're really my dad, what's gonna happen now?"

Kakashi exhaled slowly as he stood up and leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He knew that question was coming; he just hoped it wouldn't come so soon. "You're not going to ask why I'm alive, why I didn't come back sooner?"

Harry gave a grimace/smile again. "Everyone told me you were some military person who took dangerous missions, and you died on one of them…" Kakashi nodded slowly, humming again. Harry continued on, shrugging, "Besides, Uncle Severus always talked about how loyal you were to your country. The way I see it," Harry scrunched up his face in thought, "You had things to do for your country and haven't been able to come sooner."

"That's true," Kakashi paused and ran a hand through his hair, "The past twelve years I've been trying to prevent a war, and was on near constant missions…Then the war did happen and I had to fight in it." He wondered if they sky had turned red out here, or if it was only in the Elemental Lands. Perhaps their barrier created an illusion over the rest of the world. Kakashi set his head back against the wall and put his hands in his pockets, "Even so…I was never supposed to come back here."

"Then why did you?" that was a valid question and Kakashi smiled softly.

"Because my knuckleheaded student noticed I wasn't over Lily–your mother" Kakashi amended "and wanted me to get some closure. I was just supposed to see that she was…happy." Kakashi inhaled sharply and looked away from Harry as he tried to force away the tightness in his throat.

"You really loved her." He turned to look at the kid who was smiling in a wistful manner, "Can you tell me what she was like?"

Kakashi couldn't help but frown, "You have a train to board, there wouldn't be time."

Understandably the kid looked dejected, "So why are you here then?" Harry looked a little annoyed now. Perhaps at being deprived stories about his mother…stories about his parents.

"What else were you told about me?"

Harry pursed his lips in clear annoyance, "That you were a mug- umm… well you were an orphan, and considered Japan your home," the boy began to smile a little, "and you and mum loved books."

Kakashi smiled softly too, "Yeah, we did."

He sighed and ran another hand through his hair as he pushed off the wall. "But I don't consider Japan my home and I'm not a normal muggle." Harry looked at him with wide eyes and Kakashi couldn't help but laugh a little , "Yes I know about muggles and wizards and witches. And no, Lily never told me because I already knew."

"What?"

Kakashi smiled weakly before he circled around Harry, just so he could move. He felt too anxious to stay still. He moved slowly, in his perfected lazy ambling walk. "Like I said, kid, I'm not a normal muggle, or human for that matter… and neither are you." He looked at Harry then, and the boy was watching him with wide green eyes. His mouth was open, likely he was going to ask what Kakashi meant.

The Jounin chuckled, "I come from the Elemental Lands, which is North of Japan in the Pacific Ocean. We do speak Japanese there and have much of the same culture, which is why I said Japan was my home," Harry nodded slowly to show he was following. "You won't find the Elemental Lands on any map, similar to how most muggles wouldn't find magical communities on maps. You wouldn't be able to see our country even if you were right outside of it."

Kakashi finished his circling around Harry and so leaned once more against the wall, "Though we aren't magical beings, we're…we're different." Harry's brow was furrowed in confusion. "Here you have wizards and witches who have magic, yes?" the boy nodded, "Well in the Elemental Lands, everyone has something called chakra. Certain people have more of it than others, but we all have it, it's our life force and it's in our blood."

Harry looked utterly fascinated, "So…So I have this chakra?"

"Yes," Kakashi closed his eyes tiredly, "and no charka is supposed to exist outside of the Elemental Lands, it's the only way to ensure we remain out of the rest of the world's problems."

Kakashi waited for his words to sink in. At first Harry was confused, but then his eyes widened and he began to step backwards with a horrified expression. "Y-You wouldn't?"

"I should…the only other option would be to take you to the Elemental Lands," Harry seemed to relax a little but it was clear he wasn't sure what he should make of this second option.

"However…" Harry tensed again and took another step backwards, "with that prophecy about you, I can't do that if I want to keep my country safe."

"P-prophecy?"

"Yes, there's a prophecy involving you, otherwise I would have taken you with me last night," that was a lie, Kakashi had been a little too unbalanced to think straight the night before, even to make that decision.

The boy glared at the ground, a frown marring his face. He then looked up, "There's another option, isn't there? I know Uncle Severus said you'd do anything for your country; that you're loyal to the extreme, but…" he licked his lips and glared harder at Kakashi, "But you'd do anything for mum, and I'm just as much a part of her as I am of you!"

Kakashi's face remained blank for a full second before a small smile broke across his face. He crouched down, chuckling, "I wouldn't go so far as to say I'd do _any_thing for Lily. For instance, I'd never betray my country for her, but…there is another option, you're right. " He could feel pride for Harry, his son, at looking beneath Kakashi's act. Harry took what he knew about his father and deduced there had to be another option, otherwise what he had been told wouldn't match up.

"I leave here, and report to my superior that I found Lily's…Lily's grave," Kakashi forced an eye-smile, the kid looked straight through it, he could tell.

Harry nodded slowly in understanding, "And you never mention me," Harry stated more than asked. Kakashi gave a grim smile and nodded. The boy began to frown and looked down at the ground. "Oh…"

Kakashi sighed and hesitantly set his hands on Harry's shoulders. The boy looked up abruptly, eyes wide. "If I told anyone about you¸ Harry, they would either want you dead or demand you live in the Elemental Lands, but you need your magical studies so you won't become a danger to those around you. This prophecy will also endanger my country."

"But what about when I complete this-this prophecy?" the boy practically spat the word out.

"If someday, when your prophecy is fulfilled," Kakashi paused and gave another eye-smile, "when that happens, you'll be welcomed to the Elemental Lands." Harry began to smile, but Kakashi quickly continued on with a blank expression, "However, if you choose to live in the Elemental Lands, you can never leave except on missions. You won't be able to communicate with anyone outside either, and no one can know what happened to you."

Harry swallowed thickly and began to frown. "I doubt you'll fulfill this prophecy any time soon, so you have time to decide," Harry looked up at Kakashi who continued on, "I know you have a good family here, and I can't guarantee that if you choose to live in the Elemental Lands. I live by myself, and I live a dangerous life. I'm a ninja," Harry looked caught between complete shock and laughing at what Kakashi had said.

"I am a ninja, the chakra I have makes me one, and with training you could be one too," Harry finally decided on shock and was staring at Kakashi with his mouth open. "I've killed people and there are many people who want to see my head in a storage scroll." Harry furrowed his brow at the last part and Kakashi chuckled, "I guess another way of saying that would be "on a platter," yes?"

Harry's eyes lit with recognition and he began to frown. "So…even if I did decide to go live with you after the prophecy…you could be dead and I won't know it?" Harry set his hands on Kakashi's arms and looked up at him sincerely concerned.

"I've already died once, kid, and I'll wait for you just like my father waited for me to die, 'kay? We'll go meet your mother together," impulsively, Kakashi bowed his head forward and set his forehead against Harry's forehead.

"You really died? How can you be here?" it sounded like the kid was about to cry.

"That's a long story, Harry, and you've got a train to catch."

Kakashi blinked when he felt Harry warp his arms around his neck. "I thought both of you were dead, and even if you are alive I don't get to be with you," the kid was starting to cry. Kakashi grimaced but awkwardly wrapped his arms around Harry, his son. "It's not the same hearing stories from Uncle Severus or Uncle Vernon. I want to know for real that you loved mum and-and," Kakashi closed his eyes tightly, they were beginning to sting but he tried to push it back. He slowly rubbed Harry's back, "Why do you have to leave again? I won't even know if you die."

Kakashi looked up at the ceiling in the train station and licked his lips. It would be a risk but…but he didn't want to lose Harry either. This was all he had of Lily, and Kakashi knew what it was like being without a father. If he left now and never interacted with Harry again…it would be just like what Kakashi's father did to him…choosing to abandon him. He knew the resentment Harry would feel, even if Kakashi wasn't committing suicide, he was still choosing to leave Harry, to abandon him again.

"Harry?" his voice was a little rough, "There may be a way to communicate…" Harry pulled back slightly, his face red and blotchy, and his nose was running.

The boy sniffed, "Wh-what?" he croaked.

"Here," Kakashi motioned for the boy to stand up as he began to retrieve a scroll. From it he retrieved a rather large scroll that he showed to Harry who was still wiping at his tears. "If you prick your finger and sign at the bottom of this…" Kakashi gestured to the correct part but noted the boy was reading through the kanji.

"What's a summoning contract?" the boy was still scanning over the scroll and Kakashi couldn't help but stare in shock.

"You can read Japanese?"

"Yeah…" Harry sniffed again and gave Kakashi a broad but watery smile. "I'm not very good, but ever since I can remember, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon sent me to language emersion camps." Kakashi nodded his head in understanding – that was likely the camp Harry had come from the other day. "They said they wanted me to have some of my culture," Harry smiled more brightly and finished reading what he could.

"So if I sign this, I'll be able to summon dogs?"

"Yes, we can relay messages through them. They live at my apartment so there is little chance of our correspondence being intercepted." Harry nodded and looked around, perhaps wondering how he was supposed to prick his finger. Kakashi's lips twitched up slightly as he retrieved a kunai and held it out to Harry.

The boy examined the weapon but cut the tip of his finger and began to write his name, but paused, "Did you know mum married someone after you…um…died?"

"Yes, James Potter, right? It's okay Harry, that's your name," the boy just glared at the paper but finished writing his name. Kakashi deduced from the prophecy, that Harry was this "boy-who-lived," thus his last name was Potter.

"I've wanted to change it for a long time, but Uncle Severus says I should wait until I'm seventeen," the boy was frowning again but quickly looked up at Kakashi, awaiting instructions.

"Mah, I'd love for the Hatake name to continue, considering I always thought it'd end with me, but waiting sounds good. I do have a lot of enemies," Harry scuffed the ground slightly but nodded. "Alright then," Kakashi eye-smiled and clapped his hands together. "I'll help you discover your chakra and help you channel it into your hands. He was trying not to think about Lily marrying James. He still didn't know why she did it. He could make guesses, perhaps she married to keep her father from disowning her, but why didn't she marry Severus, why was it James?

"First, put your hands together like this," Kakashi made the ram seal, the typical hand sign to concentrate on chakra, Harry mimicked him perfectly, "Second, close your eyes. Now breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Look within yourself, feel the energy in your body, especially the energy focused a few inches above your navel." Harry was following his instructions perfectly. Kakashi worriedly looked over at the nearby clock. A half hour had already flown by… perhaps they wouldn't have enough time for this.

Another minute or two slipped by before Harry made a sharp inhale. Kakashi grinned, pride bubbling up again—that was faster than he expected it would be. "You sensed your chakra, typically it's seen as blue." Harry nodded but bit his lips, his eyes were still closed and he was concentrating.

"There's another one too, it's a lot of colors, it keeps changing."

Kakashi hummed in thought, "That's probably your magic, avoid that and focus on the blue energy." That had to be the multicolored energy the boy was feeling, he was a wizard after all. Kakashi smiled slightly at that thought. He was magical like Lily, and had chakra like him.

"Now what?"

Kakashi was pulled from his musings, "Draw the blue energy toward your hands, and once it's gathered there, open your eyes but keep the energy in your hands." Harry nodded and after another minute opened his eyes.

"Good job," Harry beamed at the praise but Kakashi continued on, "Your finger is still bleeding which his necessary for this next part. Make these signs," Kakashi demonstrated the correct seals in a slow order. Harry followed them perfectly, and again Kakashi felt pride. Just like him, Harry could pick up seals so quickly, could pick up all of this so fast.

"Keep channeling the blue energy into your hands. Channel a good amount but not too much or you'll die," no reason to sugar-coat things. Harry blanched but did as he was told, "This is the final sign," Kakashi demonstrated, "Now press your hand to this array," Kakashi held out his summoning scroll.

There was a puff of ninja smoke and-and Pakkun of all summons emerged! Pakkun! Harry had summoned Pakkun on his first try.

"Kakashi-kun?" the pug asked with his head cocked to one side, "You didn't summon me?" The dog asked in Japanese.

"N-No, I -I did," Harry responded in choppy Japanese. The pug whirled around and his eyes grew wide, "Neh…T-Tousan?" Harry looked up at Kakashi hesitantly, unsure if he was allowed to call Kakashi that. Kakashi was frozen in place, shocked at being called dad. "Why is it talking?" Harry asked in his choppy Japanese. Pakkun was just as shocked at Kakashi.

However, the minute hand reminded Kakashi there was no time to waste and he shook away his shock, "You can call me Tousan, I guess…" Kakashi laughed weakly as he gave Harry an eye-smile, "mu-musuko," damn, he couldn't help stumbling over the word he never thought he would get to say. It seemed to solidify what was happening. This was his son, Harry.

Harry grinned and hugged Kakashi, laughing slightly.

"Musuko? Tousan? Kakashi-kun!" the Jounin cringed at the reprimand coming from Pakkun.

"Mah, later Pakkun, later," Kakashi then pulled away from Harry and pulled out blank scroll on which he began to copy the summoning array. "Here Harry, put this in your pocket," Kakashi ran through a simple jutsu to dry the ink, "You'll need it to summon Pakkun again. Do you remember the hand signs?"

Harry frowned but slowly ran through them again. Kakashi couldn't help but grin and nod his head. Kakashi stood up and looked toward the clock again, fifteen minutes. He sighed and looked back toward Harry. It was decided then. Kakashi quickly performed a henge before dropping the other jutsu. Pakkun went home, with the assurance that he would be told the full story later.

Kakashi set his hand on Harry's shoulder, and the boy looked over at him smiling. Kakashi's illusion was that of the boy's carry-on bag, he walked quietly behind him and no one was the wiser.

Petunia caught sight of Harry who picked up his pace, he put on an embarrassed look and laughed sheepishly. "Sorry Aunt Petunia. There was this old lost man and then when I found the bathroom and I ended up cutting my finger," Harry held up his pricked finger that had already clotted.

Petunia looked at him severely for a few more seconds before sighing and shaking her head. "Well this family happens to be heading to the same platform," she gestured to a harried looking red-haired woman with a brood of children around her. Petunia was clearly displeased, with the obviously magical family. "Come on, you're going to be late."

Vernon was currently trying to keep Dudley way from twin redheads who had the air of pranksters. Vernon was clearly failing for Dudley began to excitedly relate some prank he and Harry had done while in primary school. The boys did look amazed, likely because they had done the prank without magic and the twins had never done such a thing. Kakashi shook his head.

"Oh, is this your nephew?" the red haired woman asked, a young redheaded girl was holding onto her hand and looked at Harry curiously. The girl and Heather had been talking before Harry came to the group. Now Heather was hanging off of her cousin's arm.

"Yes, this is Harry. Why don't you show us how to get onto the platform?" Petunia tried to keep her tone from being too snappish, but she failed. Of course, the other woman seemed to be obvious to Petunia's frostiness. Oh Petunia… Kakashi wanted to shake his head.

"Of course dear," the woman replied. "Percy, you go first," the woman called a redhead wearing classes. The boy then began to run through the brick divider. "Alright, Fred, George, you two next," she called and the twins grinned at each other before racing through.

Heather and Dudley were staring at the divider in amazement. "Wow!" the witch chuckled and motioned for the last boy to start running toward the divider.

"This is Ron's first year too, he's a little nervous," the witch explained, which caused the boy in question to blush in embarrassment. "If you're nervous, Harry," she addressed Kakashi's son – his son, that sounded more believable than it had earlier, "You should run through the divider."

Harry nodded and moved toward his trolley. He shared a look with Dudley and the boys began to smile mischievously as they both grasped the trolley handle. Once Ron was through the divider, Dudley and Harry began running for it. Kakashi kept pace with them easily, and he couldn't help but gasp along with the boys at the sight on the other side.

Kakashi squeezed Harry's shoulder. He then ran through a series of hand signs to make chakra-less persons ignore him. Soon after Harry and Dudley moved further onto the quay, the rest of the Dursley's and the red-haired females came through the divider.

Kakashi dropped his henge as he detached himself from Harry. The boy looked at him as Kakashi moved toward the back wall of the platform. He smiled slightly but was hurried toward the train by the twins from earlier. They helped him load his luggage.

Kakashi watched the whirlwind of goodbyes, the hugs and thanks passed between the families. The boarding whistle blew, and Harry hugged his cousins one last time before clambering onto the red train. Soon Harry reappeared in one of the windows. He waved at his family before his eye line shifted toward Kakashi, at first his eyes slid over him but then then they held. Kakashi smiled and raised up a hand. Harry raised his own hand up. They gave each other lazy waves. Kakashi tried to tell himself there was no moisture dripping down his face from his eyes.

It felt like he was seeing of his son off to his first days at the academy, the pride and the same fear that by choosing this path Harry would die. All parents had such fears and reservations when they signed their children up for the academy, but Harry wasn't going to a ninja academy…there was no reason for him to cry happy, bittersweet tears. The train began to move and once it was out of sight and he was the last one on the quay, he used the shunshin technique to get away.

Good luck Harry. Good luck son.

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_**Fin**_

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**A/N:** Yes, this is the last chapter. When I started this story I had no intention of continuing it past this point, mostly because I didn't know where to go from here. But, thanks to five hour car drives home, I have ideas for a tentative sequel, or more like companion piece. If would be formatted the same as this, but from Severus stand point with cut-away scenes to Kakashi at the end of the chapters. I think you can all imagine why there would be cut-away scenes. Anyways, I haven't written anything for it yet - just have scenes planned out. The companion piece would fill in blanks from this one, since Kakashi really cannot know what happened when he wasn't there. Anyways, I wouldn't expect it for several months since I have an intense writing class coming up and I'd also like to focus on my Naruto LOTR crossover.

I hope you all enjoyed, thank you for reading! ~ with love, depressedchildren


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